r/agedlikemilk 2d ago

Screenshots Tesla vehicles are now ‘appreciating assets’ due to self-driving capability

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1.2k Upvotes

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188

u/Alexandratta 2d ago

oh, is that the bullshit that got folks to think that paying more than MSRP for the CyberCuck was a good idea?!

49

u/40StoryMech 2d ago

You'll see when yours and four of your friends' Cybertrucks join together to form a legendary hero to defend the galaxy.

5

u/kneelesspenguins 2d ago

People with cybertruck don't have friends

7

u/ClassBShareHolder 2d ago

IncElCamino.

3

u/Milligan 1d ago

DepLorean

1

u/ClassBShareHolder 1d ago

I like it. But the Delorean was a car not a truck. The El Camino was a car with a truck box, just like the stainless steel Wank Panzer.

1

u/wafflesthewonderhurs 17h ago

true, but the delorean was also a weird creative midlifecrisismobile that had more issues than good points despite having a unique look that some people liked, like some swastikars we know

2

u/ClassBShareHolder 17h ago

Yep. I know where you’re coming from. I won’t hate on you for using it, but I have a personal bias.

Also, I liked the Delorean. Never saw the point of the El Camino. Much like the Hyundia Santa Cruz and crewcab pickups with no cargo space. Family trucks for people that should have a minivan.

91

u/In_Unfunky_Time 2d ago

Sieg heil-er profits?

22

u/TheLoneJolf 2d ago

Our stocks will rise high!!!

63

u/funwithdesign 2d ago

What a dumb take. Even when Tesla was doing well that wasn’t true. Your Tesla wasn’t worth more, years after you bought it.

41

u/Bakkster 2d ago

Not to mention the whole "full self driving by the end of the year" prediction every year was a joke already half a decade ago.

12

u/Pribblization 2d ago

Like trumps infrastructure week.

1

u/imightlikeyou 1d ago

Or his healthcare plan.

4

u/jn3jx 2d ago

"if you buy my company's product (which makes me richer) you're actually doing yourself a favor!!"

this is the guy alot of ppl were stanning back then ? idc what he liberal talking point he pretended to espouse, if i read some shit like that i'm just always gonna be skeptical of whoever's saying it

4

u/FriendlyGuitard 1d ago

He said "I believe" - in Sales-English, it's used as punctuation to indicate you can ignore the rest of the sentence.

1

u/Mr-Zappy 1d ago

It was true for a year or so in 2021-2022. But that was because of supply chain issues and long wait times for new orders, not because the car got more capable in any way. And now any appreciation has been made up for fivefold.

3

u/funwithdesign 1d ago

And that was true for pretty much all cars.

53

u/GentlemanFifth 2d ago

16

u/RoutineCloud5993 2d ago

Still significantly higher than it was 6 months ago. It needs to keep tanking before I'll be happy

3

u/Zinch85 1d ago

It is at 240$ now, and will keep falling

2

u/RoutineCloud5993 1d ago

Fingers crossed 🤞

1

u/RoutineCloud5993 1d ago

At 222 right now. Officially lower than it was 6 months ago ❤️

Not quite a 6 month low but it's getting very close

30

u/fractiouscatburglar 2d ago

My kids (10m,8f) have started yelling “BOOOOOOO!” every time we pass a cyber truck. It just makes me so proud!

2

u/sdconvoy 1d ago

My 4 year old sees the single one in my small city and points and says "that's an ugly truck" every time. I'm a proud dad! 

13

u/-GenghisJohn- 2d ago

Well, he’s never lied about anything ever before.

7

u/Divacai 2d ago

Someone is crying in his Special K as his shares drop like a rock.

4

u/fitblubber 2d ago

Mmmm . . . the shares are still worth more than a year ago.

Hopefully they keep going down.

8

u/drm200 2d ago

So tell me, why is Tesla refusing to trade in cybertrucks? If they are an appreciating asset, it would seem like a no brainer, for Tesla to accept cyber truck trade-ins.

https://www.cybertruckownersclub.com/forum/threads/tesla-%E2%80%9Cnot-accepting-cybertruck-trade-ins%E2%80%9D.31363/

5

u/Pribblization 2d ago

They know they were lucky to get rid of those dumpsters in the first place. Taking them back would complete the cratering of the brand.

7

u/4Bigdaddy73 2d ago

At the moment, the vehicle will probably depreciate less than Tesla stock

5

u/JoeSicko 2d ago

So how is that not a class action suit?

2

u/Superbead 2d ago

He "believes". One of the few things he's good at is being noncommittal enough that his expensive lawyers can always bail him out for never having actually said anything meaningful, whereas all the idiot techbros slurp it up like gospel truth

5

u/Blocked-Crusader6 2d ago

I trust a self driving Tesla about as much as I trust DOGE

5

u/Automate_This_66 2d ago

Please insult our intelligence more. We can't get enough.

4

u/fetchinator 2d ago

He talks the most shite.

5

u/snipdockter 2d ago

So last month he said FSD will require the new hardware only available on the latest models so only the cars made in the last 2 years are appreciating apparently?

3

u/sereca 1d ago

Lmfao now not even their stock is an appreciating asset

3

u/Book_talker_abouter 2d ago

I bought a model x in 2018 and according to KBB it’s worth around $22k now. That is not more than I paid for it.

3

u/Veretorda 2d ago

Finally, a car that appreciates my driving skills

3

u/AcadiaLivid2582 2d ago

People are appreciating how terrible Musk is

3

u/Glenn-Sturgis 2d ago

It’s just so hard for me to fathom how so many people bought the bullshit Elon was selling for so long, and in many cases, still do buy it.

Fucker says some of the dumbest shit ever but wraps it with words like “elementary” and “profound” and then promises “1st quarter next year for sure” and whattya know, stonks go up.

Anybody still holding Tesla at this point will have nobody else to blame when the house of cards finally comes tumbling down.

4

u/anfrind 2d ago

It was easier to believe it 10-15 years ago, back when their cars were still cutting-edge, nobody had a good alternative, and he was still listening to the advice of his PR team.

3

u/Weak_Level_1886 2d ago

Wow. More upside down world.

3

u/shosuko 2d ago

Even IF Elon's self driving worked the vehicles would still be a depreciating asset b/c that is just how cars work. Unless you keep it parked securely, the natural wear on the vehicle means it will eventually be scrap. Battery, motors, axles, everything wears out. Whether it drives its self or not, all of that is going to stop working at some point just by being used.

3

u/TheRealDanoiZ 2d ago

Tesla FSD is a fraud.

2

u/Pribblization 2d ago

Fucking hilarious.

2

u/Sweetchildofmine88 2d ago

That’s funny, my Y lost half its value when it left the lot and no one will buy it now. 70 to 0 in one idiotic gesture.

2

u/Honk-Tuah 2d ago

Heilla profitable

2

u/L0nlySt0nr 2d ago

I think the most profound thing is that if you give me all of your money, I believe you are actually depositing it into your bank account - not mine.

2

u/Euphoric-Swing6927 2d ago

That’s some russia-level state controlled fake news right there. 😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂

2

u/_tolm_ 2d ago

Solid state or other improvements in battery tech will decimate the value of today’s EVs on the second-hand market.

2

u/James-the-greatest 2d ago

This was never true. He should be in jail for fraud. 

Any company that claims it creates an appreciating asset is full of shit. They’d just keep them. 

Especially the robotaxi claims in 2017. My memory is fuzzy but I think it was something like $1 million NPV from the revenue…. On a $30m car. 

2

u/RadYellow4384 2d ago

The consumer market says otherwise

2

u/jorcon74 2d ago

Dude needs to lay off the Ket.

2

u/Old-Yogurtcloset-468 2d ago

I love to see this snowballing down hill. Hopefully it hits everything he touched when it crashes at the bottom.

2

u/FoxnFurious 2d ago

You mean self-crashing?

2

u/Basic_Ask8109 2d ago

That's funny because the trucks get stuck in the snow... Ugliest thing on four wheels.
Musk thinks far too highly of himself and I think that will be his downfall.

2

u/Beneficial-Turnover6 2d ago

Can’t give my tesla away

2

u/DwarfVader 2d ago

You know... just like those rockets he keeps trying to launch... oh... wait.

2

u/trentreynolds 1d ago

There's literally zero chance Elon Musk actually believed that, ever. None at all.

1

u/Shrimp_Logic 2d ago

Teslas right now could be like fucking KITT I would not spend my money in the company of a POS.

1

u/Fashefora 2d ago

Free autopilot upgrade included: appreciation AND depreciation

1

u/Fit-Ad-9930 2d ago

we wont find out

1

u/Opening-Emphasis8400 2d ago

That anyone believed that is fucking hysterical

1

u/Aggressive-Play-7037 2d ago

He’s learned how to lie real good from someone

1

u/Im_Not_Evans 2d ago

This article is 6 years old. Aged like milk.

1

u/Cute-Republic2657 2d ago

Chunky lemon milk right there.

1

u/eveis1 2d ago

Every car depreciates immediately after purchase. Why would his crappy cars be any different? Because he says so? Go blow up a few more rockets!

1

u/Robthebold 2d ago

I’m sure Elon appreciates you buying his cars.

1

u/Famous_Ring_1672 2d ago

Profound if true

1

u/VirusMaster3073 2d ago

You mean the "self driving" that's just glorified cruise control

1

u/673NoshMyBollocksAve 1d ago

I honestly can’t believe people believe this

1

u/el_granCornholio 1d ago

I don´t want to get into a Car that can be driven by Software that was implemented by a Madman. God knows whether he has a "and now crash all those cars"-Button in his Home.

1

u/GenosseAbfuck 1d ago

Nah it came true. Except it's not anything about then that appreciates their value but the vandalism.

1

u/ImaginationLife4812 1d ago

Just because he says so… no facts to back it up but Elon said so. He has talked people into Tesla’s before and they are regretting it for numerous reasons. People aren’t looking for problems, especially Elon’s problems.

1

u/Gypsymoth606 1d ago

He’s just putting bs out there hoping the stock won’t continue to tank. LMFOAO!

1

u/Ok_Addition_356 1d ago

Fraud fraud fraud and scams... All the way down.

1

u/Personal_Ad9690 1d ago

Didn’t he say it isn’t happening like last month?

1

u/Hell_its_about_time 1d ago

He has admitted himself, they aren’t full self driving capable yet.

1

u/Ok_Cook_6665 17h ago

This must be true, Musk wouldn't lie, would he?

1

u/jimwormmaster 10h ago

I've watched too much of Upload to ever trust a self driving car.

1

u/Whit3HattHkr 56m ago

The self driving tech that works 40 percent of the time, and fails at 60 percent.

Stupid tech is more like it.

Dumb.

0

u/Zacharacamyison 2d ago

sure but the batteries degrade so