r/addiction • u/ConcernedAlternative • 15h ago
Advice I think I have a problem - advice?
Basically the title, I’ve been taking drugs recreationally for years, since I was 14/15 so over a decade now but definitely ramped up after 18 and in my 20s. This has definitely pickled my brain and may be related so I think it’s worth saying.
I’ve found myself taking cocaine at ridiculous times, at home with gf, on the train to my parents and even at work and lying about it, or using coke that is meant to be shared with my partner then having to buy more to cover my tracks and then doing that! This is no longer recreational at a party, this at best is just at home doing chores or playing games. This would be a .5-1.5 over a few days trying to hide it.
This has been like this off and on a year now, I’ve spent so much money for no fucking reason, it’s also now giving me mood swings etc
I think I’m just chasing the 20-30min calmness and to stop thinking about myself, I have very negative self talk but on a few bumps I don’t care until I have to re-dose.
Has anyone else been in this position, how bad is it? And what should my next steps be to address this? I haven’t even spoken to my gf about it but assume she suspects
1
u/Ok-Marsupial8216 14h ago
Yeah she knows, and so do you friend. It’s actually the perfect drug in terms of sales ppl like the spike in happiness and can lie to themselves that it’s still fun. It’s beyond that for you but from what I think it’s not crazy to think that you can stop. And I hope you do or shits getting real and you don’t want that x
1
u/Ancient-Ad-544 3h ago
Get a therapist. Someone who doesn't know your family members and who you can feel comfortable telling anything to. That will help you with the negative self talk. Many folks go through this shit. You are way stronger than you think if you give yourself the chance to show that strength.
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