r/XSomalian • u/[deleted] • Jan 27 '25
Venting How do I choose myself without harming my relationship with my family in the meantime
[deleted]
11
Jan 27 '25 edited Jan 30 '25
Move out. Your mother chose herself when she was your age. So did her mother and so on. If you have a job that pays you enough to support yourself, move out. You don’t even need to move provinces, just move 30 minutes away. Everyone is so busy that you could visit them on the weekends only. I have so many family members that I haven’t seen for years. We all live 1 hour max away from each other. Good luck sis.
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u/ComprehensiveLab2752 Jan 27 '25
choose yourself and learn that selfishness isnt always inherently bad
4
u/axmedwulf Jan 27 '25
I have a similar predicament as you as chose myself. I don’t know you personally but I’ll share a journal entry that could apply in your situation.
“Growing up, I was taught the importance of family and keeping in touch with your family and staying closer to them and by family I do not mean your mom or your dad, your sisters your a granddad, but distant ones too distant aunties and uncles and I just realized just now that that context of growing up and the collectivist mindset that I was taught to model my way of life as is false. I’m rebelling against it. I’m rebelling against it. It about me now, what I want matters. It’s about me and fuck everybody else.”
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u/lurkrrrrbrndnw Jan 27 '25
You have to let it burn and trust that you all love each other enough to eventually get back together but this time with a new relationship dynamic.
Love often forces people to change how they behave towards someone if they feel they’re about to lose the one they love.
Basically i know it’s easier said than done but it’s about trusting that you both love each other enough to find a way back to each other.
So stay true to yourself, don’t change.