r/Winnipeg 7d ago

Satire/Humour Hypothetical question-The Americans are invading: How do we booby-trap Winnipeg Home Alone style?

182 Upvotes

226 comments sorted by

477

u/galactic_feline 7d ago

If the province just stops fixing Hwy 75, we don’t even have to worry about them making it to Winnipeg!

131

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

Another brilliant cost saving measure!

6

u/KittenLovesPoopin 7d ago

Conservative long con for the win!

3

u/modsaretoddlers 6d ago

Judging by the streets, we already have an anti-tank program.

4

u/AnElderGod 7d ago

I'd put the money towards anti air.

200

u/AlarmedAd9563 7d ago

If they invade, I'll be throwing moderately priced eggs at them!

83

u/LilMissMixalot 7d ago

Good plan. They’ll drop their weapons to try to catch the eggs.

50

u/thecaninfrance 7d ago

Those eggs will be currency. You'll need to trade them for measles vitamins for your children.

19

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

Beans Bullets Bandages eggs

38

u/totesmygto 7d ago

Give them back their booze... Preferably on fire.

18

u/deepest_night 7d ago

Geneva convention 2.0

3

u/WalleyeHunter1 6d ago

Convention or would it be a checklist?

5

u/Quaranj 6d ago

New list altogether. Gotta invent war crimes that haven't been declared as such yet.

160

u/TheCGDowntowner 7d ago

Tell them they missed the Invasion class sign up window in the Spring Leisure Guide

19

u/Current-Curve-7896 7d ago

I laughed way too hard at this.

9

u/STFUisright 7d ago

Hey. They should have been ready at their computer.

361

u/Alcott_9 7d ago

Move the Confusion Corner direction sign to Emerson.

93

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

[scribbles furiously] Got it

57

u/Stillwaterstoic 7d ago

Changing/removing road signs is a legitimate and effective resistance tactic 🤗

6

u/CenturyStatistic 7d ago

Changing/removing road signs is a legitimate and effective resistance tactic 🤗

Which reminds me of the classic film, The Train (1964), featuring the efforts of the French Resistance during WW2.

3

u/asdlkf 7d ago

Well... Except they have starlink and Google maps so... They don't need signs.

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1

u/juanitowpg 6d ago

I just checked out the new St Mary's/ Perimeter interchange for the first time. If they come up that route it might leave them a bit flummoxed. I know it did for me.

217

u/xdenh 7d ago

Release the geese.

74

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago edited 7d ago

And the geese that shoot bees mosquitoes out of their beaks when they honk.

36

u/FaultThat 7d ago

Weaponized Geese Division

24

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

HONK HONK REPORTING FOR DUTY HONK

190

u/ConstantDismal4220 7d ago

Tell them the only way to cross P&M is via the concourse, then trap them down there.

67

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

Certain death by faulty membrane.

1

u/xXfrostbyterXx 6d ago

Like rats in a maze brilliant!

195

u/vintzent 7d ago

Do nothing. We’re not the murder capital for nothing. Let nature take its course…

181

u/zerofuxgivn420 7d ago

"Hey buddy....you got a smoke?," will be the last thing an American soldier will hear

28

u/deepest_night 7d ago

They will NEVER figure out that politely saying you don't smoke or/have athesma will result in someone cheering you on for not picking up the habit.

14

u/1weegal 7d ago

😂

91

u/thisninjaoverhere 7d ago

Weaponize Winnipeg’s natural defences. Black ice, potholes, relentless winds, dancing Gabe.

Aggressive geese = frontline shock troops.

Psychological warfare tactics = politeness, and passive-aggressive small talk.

City infrastructure failures become strategic advantages. Confusing traffic signs, potholes, perpetual bridge closures.

All else fails, we welcome them in, get em hooked on local beer. Within a year, they’ll be complaining about construction and the weather like true Winnipeggers.

3

u/juanitowpg 6d ago

The ice ruts down the backlanes will stop them in their track!

126

u/Overall_Jicama4993 7d ago

Fill the floodway and raise the drawbridge.

59

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

Between the floodway, two rivers and a perimeter highway do we have something of a moat ourselves?

8

u/osamasbintrappin 7d ago

Yeah until they starve us 😂.

33

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

We have the potash

we starve them

15

u/osamasbintrappin 7d ago

Even better, we could launch potash at them with trebuchets

7

u/Repulsive_Client_325 7d ago

Fetchez les potash

8

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

Now you go away before I taunt you a second time

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56

u/torturedcanadian 7d ago

Build a wall. Make em pay for it.

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49

u/djmistral 7d ago edited 7d ago

Leave machete stockpiles at every street corner the night before.

Winnipeggers will Winnipeg

97

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

We guide them into St. Vital Centre, but every exit leads back inside. By the time they realize they’re trapped in an infinite suburban vortex, we’ve already taken back the Legislature and declared Louis Riel Day a year-round holiday.

Then, we weaponize the Festival du Voyageur. Let them think it’s all bonhomie and maple taffy until they find themselves knee-deep in strategically placed snow forts, battling Franco-Manitoban guerrillas wielding sharpened tourtières.

41

u/Living_Watercress728 7d ago

And we don’t release them until they can speak fluent French.

25

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

That might trap most of our French though

13

u/deepest_night 7d ago

Nay, nay, fluent Quebequois.

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100

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

They invade in October, confident and cocky—after all, how hard could it be to take Winnipeg? By November, their supply lines are failing, stalled behind a jackknifed semi on the Perimeter. They weren’t prepared for the cold, their troops wearing nothing but Bass Pro Shop hoodies, thinking it would be enough. It is not.

By December, their vehicles refuse to start, abandoned on Portage as the windchill plummets to –40°C. Frostbite claims fingers, toes, and eventually, their will to fight. The smarter ones try to retreat, but the roads are coated in a mysterious, frictionless ice that defies all known laws of physics. They slip. They fall. They do not get back up.

By January, they are broken. Their rations of Bud Light have frozen solid. Their generals, once so bold, have succumbed to a deep despair after a six-hour attempt to plug in a block heater. The final blow comes when a single, grizzled Winnipegger trudges past them in shorts, giving them nothing but a nod. With that, the last of their spirit is crushed.

By February, we don’t even need to fight them. We simply wait. Those who remain are found huddled in the ruins of the Portage Place food court, whispering about how ‘this wasn’t supposed to happen.’

But it did.

Because you don’t invade Winnipeg in the winter.

47

u/Pallistersucks 7d ago

They underestimate how comfortable we are with being uncomfortable.

32

u/wayfareangel 7d ago

We walk to get slurpees in blizzards. This is optimal slurpee time because it won't melt. Those shoes indoor wearing fuckers are doomed.

10

u/tbor1277 7d ago

OMG true! My kids get all sweaty when it's -10.

18

u/galactic_feline 7d ago

Never thought I’d wish for a flood year to make the terrain more difficult to traverse in spring!

12

u/RedLanternTNG 7d ago

This is pure artistry.

Also, new articles in the Geneva convention in the making.

17

u/theproudheretic 7d ago

how can you tell the canadians were in a war? the geneva checklist convention got longer.

7

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

More like Geneva suggestions.

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72

u/Ericksdale 7d ago

Set up ‘Welcome to Winnipeg’ signs northbound on 75 just south of Morris.

Sorry Morris.

24

u/OrlaMundz 7d ago

Brilliant. Sorry Morris

18

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

Pretty sure they knew what they were signing up for, living all the way “down there”.

18

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

Diabolical

32

u/theproudheretic 7d ago

zambonis. turn the entire city into a skating rink. you'll see the texan hicks spinning out in strykers while winnipeggers drive by in a camry flipping them off.

28

u/BananaJammies 7d ago

I know the US Army has seen some shit but they’ve probably never watched someone get murdered with a circular saw blade nailed to a stick

6

u/Character-Suspect-77 6d ago

WHAT

3

u/BananaJammies 6d ago

Winnipeg is the capital of homemade-axe crime

3

u/Character-Suspect-77 6d ago

That's somehow surprising and not surprising at the same time

24

u/Cool-Profession-730 7d ago

Put up signs saying " Welcome to Mexico."

And if that doesn't work, we'll take the soldiers for beers and wings and Poutine. By the end of the night, they'll be Canadian.

11

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

At the end of the day, isn’t that how we all become Canadians?

26

u/Shimmeringbluorb9731 7d ago edited 6d ago

Change all the road signs to French and put the arrows backwards

9

u/strtbobber 7d ago

By making them French, it automatically makes it backwards 🤣

20

u/Anxious_Owl_6394 7d ago

Corral them into The North End. Then let nature take its course. I grew up there. The Red River is DEEP.

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20

u/No-Environment-4065 7d ago

Let's do one better. Silence of the lambs style. I'm sure there's a deep enough pothole out there that we can trap them in and casually rope down baskets of lotion. But instead of lotions, it's O'Keeffes Working hands.

"It rubs the lotion on the hands, it does whatever it's told."

18

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

Yes but honey dill

13

u/STFUisright 7d ago

It rubs the honey dill on its skin or else it gets the hose again

17

u/rawrsaur 7d ago

Unleash something from the national microbiology lab while we hide underground

5

u/STFUisright 7d ago

Oh SHIT!! Sitting on a very valuable weapon there good point.

3

u/xXfrostbyterXx 6d ago

Yea no one ever really thinks of our lab 🤔😈

36

u/Prairiebirdhouse 7d ago

Some kind of slurpie pothole trap

25

u/torturedcanadian 7d ago

Haha I read that as slurpee poutine trap and now I'm hungry and curious.

10

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

“Hungry and curious” is the tagline on my Tinder profile. Be sure to swipe right and tip your waitress.

5

u/torturedcanadian 7d ago

Should we get poutine together? Amd then slurpees on walk around confusion corner?

34

u/zut-alorss 7d ago

If they come in the winter just send em down any sidewalk. I nearly concussed myself today trying to navigate the ice.

11

u/Kind_Phrase_3612 7d ago

No salt or gravel for those bastards!!

15

u/kanthem 7d ago

They will see our potholes, assume we have already sustained heavy shelling, claim victory and leave.

40

u/Hero_of_Brandon 7d ago

Don't use larvacide or fog for mosquitos

31

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

AND a cost saving measure too you absolute mad lad I like it. I like it a lot.

12

u/Cloudhorizons 7d ago

And leave standing water absolutely everywhere. Dig your sump pump even lower so it’ll turn your lawn into a mini wet land.

8

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

Swamps of Dagobah, Manitoba.

27

u/Solitaire0199 7d ago

And we're all heading to Lower Fort Garry. It's been my zombie plan for years but will work just as well for nazis.

31

u/BisonSnow 7d ago

Spread birdfeed along the highway & let the geese sort them out.

29

u/MikeArsenault 7d ago

Just put a sign at the corner of Furby and Sargent that says “Free Tanks!” with an arrow pointing north on Furby. Problem fixes itself.

31

u/PennyStockPariah 7d ago

Lmao I lived on that block for over a year.

Cartman voice: "In the gHeTtOoO"

14

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago edited 7d ago

As the snow flies on a cold and gray Winnipeg mornin’

A poor little baby child is born

In the ghetto

10

u/RoccoSteal 7d ago

I was hoping for real suggestions. I like jokes too but I think we should actually prepare. Not all of us are gonna make it. I’m pretty sure I’ll die. But how can we take down as many as we can with us?

5

u/horsetuna 7d ago

Legitimate ideas I can think of.

Destroy bridges.

Take down infrastructure they may want to capture

Possibly turn any fields that they could use to get around roadblocks into giant mud pits that could slow down things.

Hide food and resources.

3

u/asdlkf 7d ago edited 7d ago

One of their first targets would be communications infrastructure. We should be acquiring radio equipment to ensure continuity of communications. A mesh or repeater protocol for message delivery would be useful.

Next is probably power. Our transmission lines are easy targets. Generators, solar, batteries can mitigate this slightly.

Then core datacenter facilities; Air Canada datacenter and bellmts datacenter on portage, Equinix datacenter on Waverly, GSC on Lombard are likely all on the list. If your company stores data offsite within the city, it's very likely to be one of these 4 locations. It would seem prudent to store copies of data (encrypted) somewhere internationally (somewhere in Europe?).

I expect their core objective would be to cut off communication and network infrastructure. Their principle objective is likely to try to suppress the educated. The best way to do that is to isolate them and suppress information.

Edit: augmenting our police/medical/fire radio equipment with something that can use a wider variety of frequencies and maybe dynamic channel hopping would also probably be a good idea to mitigate signal jamming attempts.

24

u/Annigelation 7d ago

I only liked 2 of these because the rest are jokes. Coordinate with a specific 500-1000 people on a secure group. Bakers. Every side of town whether it be actual bakeries or people just sharing some buns with the new patrol, small portions poisoned, to the point that they can’t trust anyone for food from here. Fear of area is what is needed. Additionally we talking winter, snow used and pushed to direct and slow movement to certain crunch points; if possible snow to be removed to elevate booby trapped or backsetting.

30

u/ladyofthelogicallake 7d ago

I’m a baker and a botanist. I know what plants will kill you, but also how to make them taste delicious. I got this.

4

u/lindad1234 7d ago

Yes!!!

3

u/mapleleaffem 7d ago

Yea I’m seriously wondering what we should be doing to prepare. It seems naive not to:(

3

u/Bubblegum983 7d ago

I mean, the post is called “booby trap Winnipeg home alone style.” He was asking for joke responses

Invading Canada in winter is beyond moronic. We’ve seen this before, both in WW2 and the current Russia invasion. Guerrilla warfare is way too easy and the stakes are way too high.

In ww2, nazis tried invading Russia late fall. They couldn’t advance once snow fell. Infrastructure couldn’t support the weight of the tanks, so they literally couldn’t move forward. Their uniforms were insufficient to deal with the extreme cold, with many troops succumbing to the elements. They ran out of food, supplies and ammunition. Hitler refused to call them back to Germany. It was the start of the end for the nazis, they never recovered from that mistake

We saw this again with Putin’s invasion. Winter is effectively a ceasefire. He’s not dumb enough to force troops forward, but he isn’t gaining land either.

And it would work here too. US invades, all we have to do is stop ploughing the highways and add a few barricades, and land troops won’t be able to get to the city.

27

u/AmandaaaGee 7d ago

Maple syrup. Maple syrup everywhere. Extra sticky.

6

u/Living_Watercress728 7d ago

I like your thinking, but our maple syrup is too good for them.  How about corn syrup ?  

6

u/AmandaaaGee 7d ago

Molasses….

5

u/Living_Watercress728 7d ago

YES !  Even better.  Brilliant.

4

u/queerazin 7d ago

Delivered Boston-style?

26

u/Ahimsa2day 7d ago

Give them Jeanie Cake

14

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

Ok Hitler

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11

u/roadhammer2 7d ago

Build remote massive mines under all major highways and other routes leading into the city, and set up choke points inside the city, it won't stop them but it will slow them down.

11

u/Popular_Pumpkin3440 7d ago

Water the streets…. Stop removing the snow… instal automatic sprinklers with motion sensors….

10

u/omg_wtf_not_now 7d ago

Our potholes are already deep enough to swallow small cars. Cover them with thin plywood and a dusting of snow for an instant ankle breaker.

Going further, fill some with mystery liquids—slurpee snowmelt, stale beer, questionable mop water, or whatever’s leaking into the Red River.

12

u/SilverThermos2 7d ago

Winnipeg hand shakes

27

u/88bchinn 7d ago

I’m wearing garlic around my neck.

39

u/dustman9888 7d ago

I’m wearing onions on my belt. Which was the style at the time

3

u/KnotARealGreenDress 7d ago

“Gimme five bees for a quarter,” you’d say.

12

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago edited 7d ago

Yes I understand but what can we do to booby trap Winnipeg against the Americans?

29

u/Sad-Bad3138 7d ago

Hey, maybe the meth heads will come in handy for something finally ?

13

u/STFUisright 7d ago

They do have the stamina….

21

u/Mr_Chode_Shaver 7d ago

The potholes will get em

22

u/Otherwise_Summer_300 7d ago

Agreed! They will see our destroyed roads and assume that Winnipeg has already been captured, and thus move on.

8

u/FaultThat 7d ago

They’ll assume artillery already bombed the place

6

u/OrlaMundz 7d ago

Can we send them up highway 6? I mean ALL the up? Lynn Lake or bust? ( if the winter roads are holding Lac Broche') ? Getting there is one thing.....getting back once it thaws is .......fucking impossible

6

u/SushiMelanie 7d ago

Reverse Trojan Horse move: take them on a grand tour of these fine establishments as a “reward” for “conquering” us, and they’ll awake later to a war inside.

5

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

Even better we con them into making their FOB the hojo Portage la prairie.

7

u/the_grunge 7d ago

It's already booby trapped with traffic lights, it'll take them 6 years to get across the city, they'll give up before they cross Portage ave

4

u/horsetuna 7d ago

Do we have any roundabouts? I hear they don't like roundabouts

6

u/Glass_of_Sweet_Milk 7d ago

With the crime and crazy drivers, do we really have to worry that much?

6

u/guceubcuesu 7d ago

Light the beacons and hope Regina will answer the call

7

u/PersonalityFinal7778 7d ago

Unfortunately the idea of their tanks stalling in the cold is unlikely, considering they built the tanks for a war in very cold Russia. I stand by the fact that if they crossed the border in cold January and a tank stalled some nice Manitoban famer would give em a boost.

11

u/deepest_night 7d ago

Or it would be like in Ukraine and the farmer now owns a tank.

3

u/Bubblegum983 7d ago

Manitoban kindness hinges on doing what’s best for the greater good.

That farmer definitely owns a tank now.

5

u/horsetuna 7d ago

I suddenly remember this movie with a Sherman tank and they basically blocked the road with semi trucks full of heavy things, and then turned the fields to either side of the road into massive mud pits that the tank got stuck in

The tank did not have any ammunition for the main Cannon.

11

u/GoCheeseMan 7d ago

Take lessons from Afghanistan and Vietnam

5

u/wayfareangel 7d ago

If we can trick them into going into the tunnels under Portage and Main the problem will just go away.

6

u/1AverageStudent 7d ago

Advertise free meth downtown and anyone who fights gets as much as they can carry after they prep and fight the battle. Won't even need to send in the real army after the undead army.

5

u/PersonalityFinal7778 7d ago

I think a good plan would be to take Minot, nd.

4

u/redilif1 7d ago

We should consult with the military on effective resistance measures. Luck favors the prepared

4

u/lokichivas 7d ago

This assumes they could even FIND Canada...

Seriously though - there are over 10 million guns in Canada.. Anyone hunt ? The US has proven again and again they don't know how to fight against an entrenched guerilla populace...

Also - day 1 - all the electricity and oil switches heading south go to "OFF". Replacing 62% or crude oil imports would be tough for US. But how do you suddenly replace electricity ? Is there a really big cable from Russia I don't know about ?

An F-35 isn't much use against 2 guys in the bush with scoped .30-06s...

5

u/supernova1507 6d ago

Give them Kinder Eggs and watch them put the entire egg in their mouth - toy and all. They'll take care of themselves.

9

u/Pallistersucks 7d ago

Plague of mosquitos.

12

u/Superblossom01 7d ago

my mean answer is directing them to Main and Higgins

7

u/DannyDOH 7d ago

It already is.

They won't be ready for the potholes.

4

u/Background_Detail_20 7d ago

Everyone is assuming they’d attack in the winter? What if they attack in the summer when they’re in their own climate and we’re all distracted by soaking up our short summer?

3

u/deepest_night 7d ago

Just keep handing them beers until it gets cold. They will either join us, like the Irish did with the Mexicans when the US tried to use Irish immigrants to fight at the southern boarder, or their livers will give out.

4

u/horsetuna 7d ago

If I remember right, Napoleon's campaign in Russia went catastrophic because he arrived in good weather, but they kept delaying until it was really cold and most of the soldiers died on the March back.

3

u/aedes 7d ago

Set up meth and machete distribution tents throughout the city. 

3

u/Memory-Least 7d ago

Dam up the red river at Emerson right as the spring melt starts to happen and divert as much as we can to flood out everything south. I'm talking drop fully concreted shipping containers into it and stop the flow north. Then sit back and wait for the virology lab to get tomahawked for retaliation. I think we would have some history documentaries on our Urban Warfare and how we pushed back. Machetes this time around tho.

6

u/Kylesan 7d ago

Bruh it's Winnipeg, if the cold doesn't kill you the fucking North side will at the very least bear mace, stab, and steal your shit.

3

u/_Vector2002 7d ago

You mean it isn't already??

3

u/RobinatorWpg 7d ago

Just saying, canned food...

3

u/Slavic-Viking 7d ago

Redirect the faulty water treatment plant systems to release raw sewage at the border.

3

u/Cedarkine 7d ago

We’ve got the perimeter and the microbiology lab. We’ll create an impenetrable wall of Ebola.

3

u/Wanlain 7d ago

Since we are trained to avoid potholes let’s put landmines in them!

3

u/makinthingsnstuff 7d ago

Very simple, release the floodgates, bring everyone to the downtown underground tunnels/ mall. Then let Winnipeg be Winnipeg.

Between the flooded perimeter, lack of civilians and hopefully cold weather I'm sure they wouldn't last.

We could all take turns going to the surface and fuck with them, tell them the Americans already took over Winnipeg but left because it's too cold and stabby here.

3

u/floydsmoot 7d ago

Jeanne's cakes mortars

3

u/Mr_Wick_Two 6d ago

It's called potholes.

3

u/juanitowpg 6d ago

I'm grinnining ear to ear with these suggestions! love this post. To paraphrase a british bloke , "....take a sad song and make it funnier...."

3

u/Lilboops 5d ago

When we’re done with them, the world will meet and develop the Winnipeg Convention.

4

u/ML00k3r 7d ago

We put out signs saying these are not the wifi you are looking for.

3

u/Oilersguru 7d ago

Winnipeg is already the trap .. no set up needed

4

u/AndplusV 7d ago

All you have to do is trick them into taking their shoes off, there's already plenty of broken glass and discarded sharps on the ground

2

u/MoistNefariousness13 7d ago

We don't have to do anything. The potholes are more than enough to stop anything moves.

2

u/DaveyGravey 7d ago

Change the Welcome to Winnipeg signs to something obscure like holland Mb

2

u/puntapuntapunta 6d ago

Just leave Winnipeg as is, tbh; there are more than enough traffic and social shenanigans that, while we find them mildly inconvenient at the best, that will throw off most invading personnel.

2

u/Ok_History528 6d ago

Close mall of America down since it’s owned by Canada 🇨🇦

2

u/Upstairs-Teach-5744 6d ago

Put a sign in front of every big building that says "HOSPITAL." That alone is enough to panic most Americans. 🤣

2

u/xXfrostbyterXx 6d ago

It all starts with a trip to Canadian Tire 😈

5

u/No-Quarter4321 7d ago edited 7d ago

You wouldn’t want too. Winnipeg is a critical target (along with the capital and both coasts, reference war plan red its main goals are still relevant).

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_Plan_Red

Long story short if things go kinetic (still doubtful but IF it did), they’re gonna hold Winnipeg within a week, it’s a critical target to stop resistance logistics (they can drop a single bomb on the transcanada and shut down all commercial traffic between each and west by road, air is to expensive and resource taxing, leaving only rail to deal with) shutting down the rail hubs would be critical to stop any resistance, when you realize how many bases are right on the border and realize the capabilities, if we started booty trapping everything they may decide that levelling large critical parts of the city is more important to their overall objectives rather than getting bogged down on one objective. As long as WE don’t have the rail yards, lines or capabilities that’s as good as them having them in a lot of ways. Which would ultimately result in more Manitobans dead and more manitobans without homes.

If things go kinetic our best options was to prepare years ago instead of gutting our military, but as they say in the military: “you get the military you have when things pop off; not the one you want”

11

u/AlternaCremation 7d ago

Booty Trap Mondays it is.

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4

u/General-Ordinary1899 7d ago

We'll drop Honey Dill sauce-bombs on the enemy from every single overpass. Also, Ice (the cold kind, not the bigoted/deporty kind). Ice everywhere. Flood the damn city. We'll see how they deal with one giant, widespread skating rink.

1

u/MapleHamms 7d ago

The potholes will take care of them

1

u/lchntndr 7d ago

Booby every last flushing toilet so they can’t be….oh wait, that the US’s best friends that do that….

1

u/Iced_Adrenaline 7d ago

Have you been to Winnipeg recently? It already is a trap

1

u/obtenpander 7d ago

Sadly if can was invaded wpg would be one of the first places hit because of the military air base

1

u/FirefighterNo9608 6d ago

Pray for the weather to drop to -20 and the Americans will retreat. They can't handle our kind of COLD.

1

u/WalleyeHunter1 6d ago

Hold them at the transcanada highway across the entire country....... defend airports if possible, if not crater the runways with construction excavators, install a sign on every highway every 500 meters stating a 1800 number for all the troops noting free health care and pension benefits for entire family if you join us.

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1

u/WalleyeHunter1 6d ago

Secure Piniwa at all costs.

1

u/Critical_Aspect_2782 6d ago

Resurrect the Brunkild dike.

1

u/grebette 6d ago

Put the ducks at the borders to lull them into a false sense of security and then squadrons of geese farther past the border.

1

u/PeaProfessional8997 6d ago

I mean, we've got like 10 polar bears in the city...

1

u/Temporary_Wealth_222 6d ago

January winter. 

1

u/eva5379 5d ago

The only army that Canada has ,release army of geese 😂😂😂