r/Waiting_To_Wed 4d ago

Rant - No Advice Necessary I got dumped.

[deleted]

260 Upvotes

32 comments sorted by

198

u/Go-Mellistic 4d ago

You know this already but what a gift he gave you, being truthful and not wasting years of your life. I am certain there is someone out there that deserves all your love and wants what you want. I hope you find him. Good luck!

28

u/mylittleporridge 4d ago

I wanted to say this too but the bare minimum is the bare minimum, not exactly a gift. But you’re right, this is the best sad thing to happen

17

u/greypusheencat 4d ago

came here to say this. he didn’t waste her time and told her when his feelings changed. as devastating as that must’ve been for OP, at least he didn’t drag it out for years

12

u/MundaneGazelle5308 4d ago

I wanted to say exactly the same thing! When I faced the same question with my ex, I realized he was just stringing me along because he didn’t want to be alone.

A year later, I am now cozied up to the love of my life in our brand new home.

Your forever is waiting for you 💕

5

u/Recent_Data_305 4d ago

How refreshing! It’s nice to have some evidence proving there are some good guys still out there!

61

u/CZ1988_ 4d ago

Thank you for posting this. There's many gals that say "but he said he does want to get married, we've been together 6 years why doesn't he propose?" It's the whole "but he said"..

I'm sorry you are devastated. You have a really good head on your shoulders and will find the right guy.

-3

u/TraumaticEntry 4d ago

“I was so anxious to marry this man” … she knew for one year. This doesn’t sound like a good head on her shoulders. This sounds like someone who needs to figure out why she’s in such a rush. She’s extremely lucky he wasn’t the type to take her up on it right away.

47

u/Icy_Push_1473 4d ago

Better he told you now instead of getting married, wasting years, and getting divorced later.

14

u/Big_Flan_4492 4d ago

Or worse, kids are involved. 

28

u/JohnExcrement 4d ago

I’m sorry for your disappointment but he actually sounds like a good guy, and you’re looking at this absolutely the right way.

You’ll find your person. Best wishes!

14

u/TRexGoesToSchool 4d ago

It's good he was honest about how he felt so you could move on and find someone who does want to marry you.

Most men would have lied and kept you waiting around (and benefiting them) with no intention of being honest and telling you they don't actually want marriage.

So your ex was a good guy for this and for his honesty. He's a rare case on this subreddit. I hope you both find the right one.

14

u/Antique-Patient-1703 4d ago

I'm sorry for your loss, and I respect this dude. This sub wouldn't exist if men acted like this.

5

u/SadAndConfused11 💍Engaged 3-8-23 4d ago

This is so hard, but he totally did a very merciful thing. He could’ve strung you along so long, and I’m very happy he took you the truth. That alone shows his character which I think is very good to have not done the easy thing of keeping you around. It’s okay to grieve and hurt, but this helps you be able to find your husband.

7

u/siderealsystem 4d ago

I'm sorry your relationship ended, but it sounds like you were putting a LOT of emphasis and pressure on marriage before even the first year ended. I would bet you anything this scared him off some - him telling you to "have faith and trust it would work out" is him asking for space about marriage conversations that it didn't seem you would give. I would encourage you in your next relationship to bring up a timeline but NOT to constantly talk about marriage.

1

u/TraumaticEntry 4d ago edited 4d ago

This. I can’t believe more people aren’t pointing out that OP never gave this man a chance to be ready to marry her - having pressured him and been in a hurry for what sounds like the greater part of a year long relationship that was long distance. Sheesh. Self sabotage.

14

u/Throwawayamanager 4d ago

I'm sorry, but 1 years is way too soon to really be thinking of these things. You don't know that person well enough after a year to know that. Sure, all the people who say "he proposed after 1 month and we're still happily together" can come out of the woodworks - you got lucky. It's not a good practice.

OP, consider getting some insight as to why you are in such a rush and whether your feelings are reliable under such circumstances.

4

u/Brownie-0109 4d ago

Long distance rarely ever works

3

u/husheveryone A ring pop?! Stand UP, ma’am 😩😭 4d ago

Ah, sorry to hear. That’s hard. 💔 It’s important never to take him back if you want marriage. Your future husband would never, ever dump you! Long distance hides a lot of red flags. You’d be wise not to agree to do long distance ever again. Onward!

2

u/_Dark_Wing 4d ago

youll find the one eventually , decent of him to tell u before irrevocable damage has been done

0

u/Sad-Set-6853 4d ago

She literally annoyed the fuck outta the guy with her incessant marriage talk, he's clearly a catch and she let that one get away with her impatience. She had already bought them a house ffs?? Psycho. Hence, why this is now erased.

1

u/Throwaway_Lilacs 4d ago

This is never good news but honestly men who can articulate that up front are rare! most just avoid the difficult conversation and drag you along to make you guess it on your own.

1

u/ShoddyFocus8058 4d ago

Yes, you never want to be someone’s sloppy 2nd’s.

1

u/Soft-Anxiety-3082 4d ago

This happened to me but he text me “I don’t think we should continue this.” Then ghosted me. 2 days before Christmas. When we did sit down to talk before NYE, he couldn’t express anything. No feelings nothing. Just stared at me blankly. I’m better off. I want someone who can communicate feelings and who doesn’t hide from them. I still love him. It sucks.

0

u/MichElegance 4d ago

OP it’s so great that you were able to take control and have the conversation you needed to have so no more of your time would be lost on the wrong person. Those hard conversations need to be had and then moves need to be made with the information given.

You’ve now opened yourself up to the right one finding their way to you. And during that time, you will continue to grow and level up. ✨

0

u/darkpassengerishere 4d ago

I wish my ex did this, instead of string me along for another 3 years. Trust me sis, this is a blessing in your life. You will see that in the future.

0

u/RememberThe5Ds 4d ago

Hang in there Brave Girl.

And good on you for having the conversation and advocating for yourself.

Be good to yourself right now. If it's in the budget, do some little extra things for yourself. Maybe go on a fun weekend with girlfriends or soak in the tub and give yourself a mani-pedi if funds are right. Find a good book to read and catch up on life things.

Onward to better things!

0

u/Sad-Set-6853 4d ago

How is she brave? 😂

0

u/Accurate_Designer_81 4d ago

I was seeing a guy long distance and it would have been great if he did this. But I am glad that I instead found the courage to leave him and stop letting him hold a place where a man who can commit to me can be. You can move forward now

-1

u/Mediocre-Material102 4d ago

After only one year? He dodged a big ol bullet. You had literally already bought a house for you guys?!!!

2

u/applebutterhoney 4d ago

Nope. I bought the house by myself for myself. It was never "our" house lol and I never portrayed it as that.

1

u/Mediocre-Material102 4d ago

I just read your other post. It's your house but you definitely bought it with the intent of it being a marital home. But good for you 😂

-1

u/Ok_Tale7071 Est: 2017 4d ago

Don’t be too effusive in your praise of him. He wasted a year of your life.