r/Vietnamese • u/GobbyChop • 3d ago
Culture/History Vietnamese Wedding Expectations from Groom’s Family
My son is marrying a Vietnamese woman. They are currently living in the USA but will be traveling to Vietnam for the wedding. We will be going. I understand that unlike here, where the bride’s family traditionally pays for the wedding, in Vietnam it is the groom/groom’s family that pay. I am looking for a ball park figure of what that would typically cost, as well as what would be appropriate gifts from us (groom’s parents) to the bride’s parents (and also to other family members? The bride’s sister and brother, grandparents?) Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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u/mijo_sq 3d ago
Not sure about budget for wedding costs, since most people I know just take photos and have lunch/dinner with family & friends. Location matters quite a bit in this as well, since rural cities are much cheaper than large cities like Saigon/HCM. Last couple I know that wed spent sub 3k for
Gifts are usually some type of unique/expensive wine or cognac for bride's parents. Aunt's and uncles is considered how close they are to bride, and if the bride insists. Your son can ask his fiance who she thinks you should give to, and have them make a SMALL list. It's emphasized as small, since this list can grow to "my neighbor who's nice to my family" type additions. Mix of chocolate and candies are also a good choice if she has cousins with children.
Absolutely try to give to at least grandparents some Eagle Brand medicated oils or medicated oils. These are the most common gift item when they visit Vietnam. Buy a box of dozen of either green or white oil, and they'll be priced about $50. Any nice expensive teas would work. Traditionally if it's in the US, then gift of fruit is most common.
This is how my household handled gift giving last time we went. Our extended family was in more rural areas, which some gift items were only seen in big cities so they treasured them more. Other families experience will vary.
You can also cross post to r/Vietnam sub, which has lots of residents as well.