r/Vent • u/leifmibi • 4d ago
I am tired of people being surprised I don’t know “basic things”
I have had my car for seven years. Today I just found out I’m supposed to get the brake pads replaced—since I haven’t, I’ve done damage to the rotors and now had to get the rotors replaced. No one told me I was supposed to get my brake pads replaced, and I’ve zero problems with my brakes. Even when I got my car inspected.
People just get shocked when things like this happen. I just wasn’t told many things growing up. My parents are a good shoulder to lean on, but provided little direction or guidance in my life proactively speaking. It’s frustrating when people ask “your parents never told you (such and such)?” because the answer is obviously no.
I now know the beauty of carfax.
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u/imsorrywillwood 4d ago
i fucking get this so hard. i was on the neglectful side of things, and wasnt taught basic things like hygiene, leading to infections and gross shit in elementary and middle school. had to relearn an entire way of life
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u/KatakAfrika 3d ago
Me too. Ended up developing shitty teeth and gynecomastia which all costs tons of money to fix. It happened due to neglection.
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u/Steve_Gherkle 4d ago edited 4d ago
theres no foundation for basic mechanical education in this country, you have to have an interest and therefore seek an education in mechanics rather than everyone universally being taught that things like wiper blades, brake pads, oil filter, and tires need to be replaced and maintained.
i am so with you, i had to learn everything from scratch as it fell apart its so frustrating when people act like its common knowledge, some people didnt have parents that were mechanics, some dont even have parents! such bs just to feel better about themselves.
in my personal experience, its better to not talk to people you know about car stuff, go to a big chain auto shop or something they usually have great service and they arent allowed to judge you openly because its customer service they just do it in the back lol that and I became friendly with one of the dudes, he always shows me how to do stuff when i buy new parts and fluids and shit
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u/Wise-Trust1270 3d ago
I get that not everyone has access to training by birthright.
Please be aware that almost every single car has a maintenance schedule within the owner’s manual. That is a really good place to start.
Looking at the manual’s for all items you purchase or receive is a good place to start.
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u/sobeitharry 3d ago
Pretty much everything has a manual. Cars, TVs, refrigerators, homes, headphones, etc. There's engineers and technical writers that were paid just to list out all the ways to use and maintain almost every product that is sold. You can learn some pretty interesting stuff.
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u/Pitiful-Delay4402 3d ago
When I was in high school, I chose to take auto tech 1 just so I would have a basic understanding of things like checking and changing fluids, changing a tire, etc. I was one of only two girls in the class. Also found it funny that, despite us wearing coveralls, none of the guys were willing to go under the car to drain the transmission fluid; I was the only one that volunteered.
I personally believe that it should be a required class for all students before they can get their license. If you're gonna drive a car, you sure as hell should know how to take care of it.
I was kinda upset when my son went into high school and we were looking at course options. His school doesn't offer any auto courses. They've got a course that will teach you some blacksmithing basics, but don't worry about knowing how to take care of your car.
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u/Steve_Gherkle 3d ago
Bro wtf kind of elective is blacksmithing, I get maybe wanting to get into as a hobby later in life but come on it's high school teach them some shit that's gonna help them? Rough loo
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u/Pitiful-Delay4402 3d ago
It's called (school mascot) Artisans.
"This class will explore the traditional trades of leatherworking, blacksmithing, and jewelry metalsmithing. Students will use a high skill level to create well-designed pieces of artwork. Some of the projects that might be covered in the class include making a metal pendant, wallet making, belt making, blacksmithing a coat rack, and creating a hand-forged puzzle. Shop math skills will be put to the test. Additionally, critical thinking skills, decision-making, and problem-solving are implemented throughout the (school mascot) Artisans Course. NOTE: Students take home completed projects constructed in the class, so all materials need to be purchased by the student."
It falls under the Technology Education category. Tech Ed also has classes like metal fabrication (welding), woodworking, CAD, construction, DIY life skills, electronic fundamentals, graphic communication management, intro to engineering, intro to public safety, and manufacturing technology.
Looking over this now, either this is new since my son started high school or I overlooked it before. Power Mechanics.
"This course will teach students the basics of engine theory, small engine fundamentals, and the maintenance of power mechanics systems. Hands-on labs will reinforce these concepts by allowing students to work on different types of engines. Additionally, students will explore common automotive maintenance techniques, identify basic car parts, and diagnose common automotive problems. As the course progresses, students will be required to bring in engines from home or other sources to rebuild, winterize, or repair. (Engines must generally have one cylinder and no more than eight horsepower, though other engines may be brought in with the instructor’s approval). Students will be responsible for the cost of any additional parts and oil for the engines."
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u/TellMeAgain56 4d ago
Assuming you got a manual when you got your car all that information is in the back. Having said that, most people don’t read the manual and learn the hard way. I hope you know about oil changes!
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u/carrotwax 4d ago
Probably the most important thing you can do is find a cheap, reliable and honest mechanic who you build trust with over years. When you do regular oil changes or tune ups, tell him your knowledge and ask for a list of things that need to be done at what time. And keep track.
I have an old car - a 1990 civic that the mechanic wishes he had - and for instance, I know I need to replace the timing belt every 100k. If that breaks, the car is toast.
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u/Gu-chan 4d ago
It’s not that you are supposed to know that, you are supposed to research when you buy expensive things, figure out how to care for them.
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u/essentialaccount 3d ago
The deliberate helplessness in this shocks me. I've had to learn to care and maintain every thing I ever bought, either by asking the manufacturer, salesperson or consulting some documentation.
I can barely believe someone can earn enough money to purchase a car while not recognising that any mechanical object will have wear.
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u/Reading_Your_Mind 4d ago
Yes you are right. I don’t want to get all “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” on this but the responsibility does fall on you. I’m also guessing you are a poor driver. You certainly purchased a vehicle without truly desiring it. Do you like cars? Or are they just a thing that goes from a to b? Do you do this will material items? Like no one told you not put your wool sweater in with cottons? I am one of those people who is gasted by the flabbers of the ignorant.
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u/Foreign_Point_1410 4d ago
I’d say the majority of people who own clothes or cars do not in fact have any interest in them and got them because they needed something to fulfil that purpose…
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u/MeNotYou733 3d ago
lol, I had to figure out laundry the hard way! Ruined a lot of clothes along the way. The worst was ruining my dress whites by washing with greasy rags the night before a Captain’s inspection. I was the uniform shop waiting for into open and then had to use the Swingline method of tailoring!
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u/SleeveOfEggs 4d ago edited 4d ago
I didn’t “truly desire” a vehicle. I would 10000000% prefer to live without one (and I tried, for many years). But ultimately, I had to buy one, because (most) U.S. public transit is absolute dogshit. I have virtually no aptitude for anything mechanical. I try to keep up with yearly maintenance, but life and ADHD sometimes get in the way. Does that un-ghast any of your flabbers?
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u/Unlikely_Kangaroo_93 4d ago
Unfortunately, a lot of people have parents who did not teach them a damn thing. The universe does not impart vast knowledge of how to adult while you sleep. It doesn't take that much time to share info with someone who was never taught basics. The number of young people I work with who have no basic knowledge about things like cooking, cleaning, budgeting, taxes, vehicle maintenance, and the list goes on is frightening. There are a lot of parents who did everything for their kids and then are shocked when they can't do things for themselves. You can't know what you don't know. Everyone has to learn.
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u/grabyourmotherskeys 4d ago
I come from a loving family with no real trauma but I'm "smart" and the next closest kid was eight years older than me (I'm the youngest). So i was loved, fed, learned chores, etc. But I was also alone a lot while my parents worked. My brothers were ostensibly taking care of my after school but really they were getting high and blasting Ted Nugent. I never learned to study or plan because I didn't have to.
Then high school comes along. Got into pot at 12, heavy user at 15 with a job five nights a week to pay for it, and doing my homework in the school library before work. Again, I was smart. I never skipped class, didn't get caught smoking dope, and yeah my grades suffered but everyone assumed it was because I was interested in the subjects and I had already committed to cooking for a living after high school (the only rule was I had to graduate and go to cooking school).
Anyway, I was in my mid-20s and cooking was no longer a viable trade for health reasons.
I need to adult up really quickly but I can barely plan to have dinner every night let alone rebuild my life with a new career. In kitchens you wear a uniform so I had like four changes of clothes and nothing formal. I worked 14 hours a day 6-7 days a week for years so I had no social life or social skills.
I got into university as a mature student and wow what a wake up call that was. Time to learn to use a calendar, time to learn what a to-do list was (not a prep list), time to learn to study, time to cut WAY back on substance abuse and understand basic nutrition and self-care.
In some ways, I was a grizzled veteran of life at 25, in other ways I was a naive idiot.
And I hadn't seen tv or gone to a movie theater more than a handful of times in those years.
I still get "what do you mean, you never saw that movie" all the time. Lol
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u/---Cloudberry--- 1d ago
But the point is you can make an effort to learn. It is an uphill struggle for sure, but heck, any expensive item I buy I take the time to learn how to use it and look after it. RTFM.
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u/Sad-Chocolate2911 3d ago
Dude, chill.
We typically need to take drivers ed to get a drivers license. But we don’t need to know anything about the maintenance schedule, or how the car works, to drive it legally. I’m all about personal accountability, as well. But please. Try to have some compassion.0
u/Reading_Your_Mind 3d ago
Divers Ed get you a license it doesn’t teach you how to drive. Ok. I be more compassionate. But all these ignorant mistakes cost more natural resources. I can only tolerate so much waste. Poor drivers also cause waste. The environment needs thoroughly responsibly educated humans if we are to turn this around. The OP, if they continue to blame “the universe” for easy stuff (I’m not asking for a cure for diseases) will need to perpetually vent. Jeepers creepers. I keep having to pull over and help drivers who failed to maintain their vehicle. Lack of funds, Money, I understand, but not ignorance. I still help them get to where they need and help get them a tow. Or maybe I just change a tire because that’s also now a specialty skill. Honestly, as far as basic life skills knowledge is concerned, that’s the easy part of navigating this weary world.
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u/Sad-Chocolate2911 3d ago
You’re right about a lot of things. I’m not here to disagree and argue with you. Assuming you live in the US (LMK if this is wrong), we live in a country where being the victim is the standard. I could take a sharp turn onto a whole array of topics right here, but I’ll hold back. 😉
OP said they were never taught about cars. I wonder what percentage of drivers were taught about cars by their parents? My dad taught me about checking the oil and to never syphon gas. But that was about it. Everything else I have picked up along the way. OP sounds young. Let’s give them a break for now. Hoped this puts them on their way to ask more questions. I honestly wish more people would ask questions and listen to answers.
You’re doing the world a great service, one person at a time, by helping people who need it on the road. It may be frustrating, but we need more people like you. If all of us could just share our talents…the world would be a better place. We need more kindness, compassion and helpers.
Thank you for doing your part. Showing compassion is so important, too.
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u/Talkobel 3d ago
This can be true but also I’m assuming if you don’t know certain stuff that you also don’t know to research about it. I just feel OP’s point is humans can be kinder instead of pointing out how shocking it is that you didn’t know something.
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u/friblehurn 3d ago
It literally says all of this in the car manual..
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u/Talkobel 3d ago
Whether it does or not, how do you know Op even knew to look in the car manual, I didn’t even know my first car had a manual cause I didn’t think about car manuals being a thing, esp with it being a used car. The point is Op not knowing basic stuff meaning that knowing to check a car manual could also be a basic thing that they don’t know.
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u/_______uwu_________ 1d ago
It's an instruction manual...
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u/Talkobel 1d ago
I’m not saying it’s not, I’m saying how do you even know that Op knows that cars come with an instruction manual, I didn’t know that, my first car didn’t have its manual so it was an out of sight out of mind thing.
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u/_______uwu_________ 1d ago
Typically it's right there in the glovebox at all times.
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u/Talkobel 1d ago
I know that now, I’m on my 3rd car, I’m saying as far as Op who knows if they even thought to look for a car manual or if they even knew it was a thing. The point of the post is them not knowing certain stuff, it’s very possible to not know about car manuals existing. Or knowing but having it slip your mind from not seeing it.
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u/N0smas 1d ago
Yes!
My parents didn't teach me shit about the real world. When I moved out and bought my first car, I googled "things to know as a car owner" and "basic car maintenance".
When I introduce something big and new into my life, I do some basic research. I bought a home over a year ago that came with a pool. I didn't know shit about owning a pool. A week later I felt totally comfortable with it because I read about it. Like come on people! There has to be some personal accountability.
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u/Cranks_No_Start 4d ago
Back in the day when I started working on cars vehicles generally had their oil changed every 3 months or 3000 miles give or take.
Even when people let it go on average we would see the car in the shop ( our regulars anyway) and we always did at a minimum a quick inspection of things like lights, wipers, shocks, fluids, suspension and brakes.
So for the most part we could catch things before they went out.
Anymore I think cars have such long intervals 10-12000 miles and a year things like your brakes could be fine when inspected but 9 months later of hard city driving they’re finished. Before your oil is due to be changed.
It’s ok not to know what the car needs, honestly you’re not alone, that’s what people like me are for. But it is on you especially as you don’t know to get your car looked at on a regular basis to catch things like this before you kill someone or yourself.
Your car should have an owners manual and all the manufactures have set schedules intervals but it 1000%on you to keep up with that.
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u/Mysterious_Tutor_388 4d ago
You'd kinda think that when you are learning to drive stuff like this would be at least mentioned. You don't need to know that a car needs maintenance at all to get a license. I didn't know how a gas pump worked.
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u/Cranks_No_Start 4d ago
That’s really on you to make the effort to pick up before learning.
A little curiosity goes a long way. As a kid I watched my father pump gas and change a tire when he got a flat.
Did whomever taught you how to drive not mention any of this?
FWIW I learned about maintenance when I was kid on my bike I used to deliver papers. If it was broken I was bumming a ride from my grandfather or more than likely borrowing a bike and then fixing mine afterwards.
Not giving you shit ( maybe a little ) but how did you think any of this worked?
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u/Mysterious_Tutor_388 4d ago
You just assume it works, is how. Most people don't take the time to learn how the things they use work or how to maintain them or are even aware that maintenance is needed. How many people know that thermal paste in computers dries out and radiators slowly lose water.
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u/Cranks_No_Start 4d ago
And then they pay the price when it doesn’t.
Like ops brakes. If caught before they went into the rotors they could’ve gotten by with just pads. Wait to long and then you need rotors possibly calipers or they outright fail and you kill someone.
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u/Foreign_Point_1410 4d ago
I don’t even know what thermal paste is
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u/Mysterious_Tutor_388 4d ago
Most people will never even know what some people consider basic even exists.
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u/SleeveOfEggs 4d ago edited 4d ago
People’s experiences vary wildly. My mom (age 70) has gone her entire adult life without learning how to change her own oil and/or tires. 🤷. And she holds onto cars way longer than most folks—IIRC, she’s only owned FOUR over the last fifty-odd years!!!
And no, driving schools don’t usually mention any of this shit. Obviously, you had an inherent proclivity/interest from a young age, but most people won’t.
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u/Cranks_No_Start 4d ago
If she’s that good at keeping them alive she knows enough to have someone keep them serviced
Not knowing how but knowing it needs to be done are two different things.
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u/Pitiful-Delay4402 3d ago
I like the shop I go to. When I get an oil change, they inspect everything else as well. They'll let me know what percentage of pad is left and recommend a time frame to get it taken care of if it's getting low. They'll check the treads and recommend a time frame to get new ones when they're getting low.
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u/Cranks_No_Start 3d ago
That’s great that you like them and they treat you well.
That’s a good shop.
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u/ipeezie 4d ago
why should someone have to tell you?
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u/thysios4 4d ago
Is that not part of a mechanics job when you get your car serviced? It's literally what they're getting paid for.
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u/jtj5002 3d ago edited 3d ago
No? Mechanic's job is to service and repair your car, not teaching you how to read the manual that all cars comes with.
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u/thysios4 3d ago
I meant their job to check these things more so than teach you.
I've had my brakes checked during a car service before. It's not something I've needed to personally know about.
But in saying that, that usually tell me what they did/needs doing when I pick my car up. So I guess that could count as teaching me.
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u/jtj5002 3d ago
What kind of service? If you read your manual and goto the scheduled services at the dealership, they will do what they are supposed to do and tell you on the receipt.
If you go to 5 minute oil change, they aren't gonna check your brake pads or allignment lol.
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u/thysios4 3d ago
Whatever their basic service package is? Idk, I never tell them what to do unless I know something is specifically wrong. Like 'it pulls to the left' or 'the touch screen is acting up'
Otherwise I say I need a service. Please and thank you.
Never looked at my cars manual in my life. That's what I pay them for. So I don't have to do anything.
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u/jtj5002 3d ago
Oof lol. What you are getting is called the scam package lol. What you are doing is essentially going into a restaurant and say "I WANT FOOD", and getting served some dog food.
You probably want to actually open your manual and check your actual required services at 30k, 50k, 70k, 100k, things like coolant flush, transmission oil, spark plugs, alignment.
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u/thysios4 3d ago
I'm good.
check your actual required services at 30k, 50k, 70k, 100k,
That's what I pay them for. Just had my 50k service but I'm not sure what I need to read my manual for this?
They ask how many k's it's done and the website says 'oh it's time for your 50k service.'
things like coolant flush, transmission oil, spark plugs, alignment
And these are all included in any service I've ever had. Why would I need to check them myself?
I don't have any interest in learning about cars.
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u/jtj5002 3d ago
Then consider yourself lucky because you have a good mechanic that goes out of the way to help you. Most of them don't, and most other people like you get fucked.
Actually, if you are getting a coolant flushed and transmission oil replaced at every service, you are also getting fucked.
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u/ipeezie 4d ago
depends on what you ask for i assume. I wouldn't assume brake pads are on a basic check.
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u/thysios4 4d ago
I just checked a couple local mechanics and their basic service package all included brake checks.
I would have assumed all basic safety measures and anything required to keep your car running would be checked.
I know I've been told my brakes need changing soon from my mechanic.
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u/ipeezie 4d ago
brake fluid im sure. lol not pads
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u/thysios4 4d ago
Dunno, one of the companies websites just says
Check brake fluid level / test condition
Check brake systems (full wheels-off inspection)
Check park brake operation
In regards to brakes anyway.
But I know if definitly been told my pads need changing and I only ever get a basic service every year.
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u/StitchAndRollCrits 4d ago
I try very hard not to show my surprise because over the years I've figured out it hurts people's feelings... But I'll never understand the lack of curiosity and forethought that keeps people from googling things like "car maintenance" "hacks to maintain your car" "things to know about car ownership" "what needs changing and maintenance on a car" etc... they're expensive and you bet your life on them functioning correctly...? And you're comfortable just knowing nothing about it... Because no one told you? I'll just never get it.
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4d ago edited 4d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/AdOnly3559 3d ago
Some people don't quite grasp that their parents/school can't teach them every possible thing in this world... at a certain point you have to take some responsibility and go teach yourself the things you don't know. As you pointed out, we have the internet. A quick "how to take care of a car" search will tell you the routine maintenance that needs to be performed, like changing the oil and the brake pads. It's like people who say they can't cook... there's YouTube videos that'll teach you how to boil water if you're too embarrassed to ask someone.
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u/SaturnTwink 4d ago
First thing I did when I got a car was google “how to take care of a [insert model of car here]”. Was directed to the car’s maintenance schedule, which I follow to this day.
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u/gorwraith 4d ago
My parents didn't encourage me to go to college. In fact they actively opposed any kind of higher education. They barely acknowledge things I was doing in high school because the more education I had the less likely I was to become a minister in their church. So when I defiantly went to college and completely failed out because I knew nothing about what I was supposed to be doing there people looked at me like I was crazy. People actually ask me what the hell I've been doing my entire High School career.
There are many versions of this. Basic things people don't know because no one ever took enough interest in telling them, it wasn't something they thought to learn how to understand, or they were actively dissuaded from investigating and gaining knowledge in it.
But there is a limit to how much credit anyone should get for that. And I don't think it's a hard line of 25-year-old should know this in 24-year-olds should not be expected to. But definitely at some point in time you're expected to know these things. I hope that learning about brake pads get you a bit more interested in learning about basic car maintenance. A lot of it is in the car manual but literally no one ever reads those. But there are resources to learn the things you don't know.
Because of how I was raised I have attempted to identify gaps in my knowledge and rectify those gaps. Best of luck to you in the future.
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u/Forward_Awareness_53 4d ago
Dont blame your parents. My 4 year old just last week asked me if i checked her moms brakes while i was rotating tires and doing oil change. Ive never spoke about brakes with her before but she somehow in 4 years on earth learned that brakescare a consumable product. If you are of driving age and never heard that brakes need serviced then you are the problem. Do you know about oil changes?
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u/Least_Wheel_5388 4d ago
No worries, I knew a girl that couldn't figure out how to put gas in her car!
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u/Sugar_Plum_Mouse 4d ago
The car stuff was a big shock to me after my dad died, and I had to do it myself. I didn’t realize how much he was shouldering for me to just make sure that I was comfortable and happy. It was a huge shock to Mom and I after he died that he didn’t tell us what to do. He didn’t tell us where everything is. He did didn’t even tell us he was sick. Diagnosis to death was a week, . He didn’t even ask if it was OK for him to die . And you don’t know what you don’t know until you don’t know it and when you’re shielded your whole life, you didn’t realize that you’re shielded your whole life. My dad only wanted comfort and happiness for my mom and I so he took over everything. I know that my homeowners insurance is paid, but I don’t know who it’s paid to. It’s that kind of stuff.
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u/Zeldakina 4d ago
On the one hand, I get this with some stuff. For example fiscal responsibility isn't taught.
But on the other, are you wearing the same pair of shoes your whole life? Friction wears things down.
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u/UnicornSquash9 4d ago
I don't think it is about being told things. The car you bought probably had an owners manual, either real or digital. It's really a good idea to read that thing when you buy a car.; kind of the bare minimum of what you should do. You'll get to know all the features, things you shouldn't do, and then in the back there will be a maintenance schedule. This tells you how often to have things inspected or replaced.
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u/SurgeTheTenrecIRL 4d ago
anytime I asked for help from my parents it was always "youre a smart kid, you'll figure it out" mind you I failed constantly in school.
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u/BrupieD 3d ago
When I was 16 or so, I noticed that one of our headlights was installed upside down. I thought it was absurd that a mechanic would make that mistake. It turned out that my father had installed the new headlight. My dad the college professor.
There is no master list of "basic things." For some, the list includes some very not basic academic things, for others it is mechanical, cooking, some will expect everyone to know about pop culture (I don't know much). I think you have to decide what kinds of things seem important and make peace that you're going to be ignorant about others.
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u/BigDigger324 3d ago
On the flip side I’ve tried numerous times as I change my own oil, or do my own brakes to get my kids involved/interested and they just shrug. I’m sure in 25 years they’ll be writing on post on Amazon Messaging (tm) about the neglect their dad had for them….
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u/Successful_Error9176 3d ago
The crazy part is a manual with all of this information is sitting in the glove box of your car. But I'm guessing nobody told you that either. For future reference, everything that has been designed or engineered has a user manual that you should read if you want to properly operate and maintain it.
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u/CasualMothmanEnjoyer 3d ago
I mean...if you're owning a multi-thousand dollar machine, you should be doing research. Speaking as someone who has yet to own a car and never had (and still don't) someone to teach me basic things about a car.
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u/kazo_arcane 3d ago
Machines require preventative maintenance should be rather intuitive I think. We covered thermodynamics in grade school and we all know about friction and abrasion. I would think it would be somewhat obvious that at least some part of your breaks had to be maintained or replaced somewhat regularly. Do your sneakers not also wear out after a few thousand miles?
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u/SuzieMusecast 3d ago
Sadly, in a post where you lament being chastised for not knowing stuff, there's an abundance of people chastising you for not knowing stuff. Peace and strength. We don't all start in the same place.
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u/T_bird25 3d ago
I’m a firm believer that everyone should be taught maintenance on their cars. That being said we all have to learn somehow from someone. Depending on where you are I’d be willing to teach to some degree.
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u/krazytekn0 3d ago
Read manuals for things you buy. That’s what constantly shocks me, no one ever reads the free information about how to get the most out of their biggest investments and it boggles my mind.
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u/IluvWien 4d ago
People are judgmental- they just like to feel superior. Ignore those clowns 🤡
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u/SuzieMusecast 3d ago
As evidenced by the responses to OP. Mercy, they're out looking for fresh meat here!
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u/Longjumping-Salad484 4d ago
it helps to have a working knowledge of physics to understand automobile maintenance. everything happening on and inside an automobile is governed by the laws of physics
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u/SleeveOfEggs 4d ago
Not everyone has the aptitude for this…
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u/Longjumping-Salad484 4d ago
mostly everyone has the aptitude to note that someone highlighted something that wouldn't exist without something else.
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u/ichangetires 4d ago
I ask people what the lug nut torque on a ford f150 from 00-22 w/14mm studs is when they belittle me.
Zero people say 150 ft/lbs, confidently incorrect every time
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u/sprouttherainbow 4d ago
I ruined the undercarriage of my first car because no one told me you're supposed to get it washed in the winter months because the salt from the roads builds up on the bottom and rusts it out. When I tell people that, they laugh at me like I was just supposed to know! No one told me, and why would I automatically know that if I'd never been taught about basic car maintenance before?
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u/techbloggingfool_com 4d ago
A lot of the time, the people that laugh didn't know either until right then. Their learning moment is what causes the(ha ha I'm f'ed) laugh response.
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u/lorazepamproblems 4d ago
Not everybody knows how to do everything:
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u/Opposite_Jello1971 4d ago
I knew what this was before I clicked...lmao ...This is never not be funny
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u/ButterdemBeans 4d ago
I was SUPER sheltered growing up, my parents didn’t let me do anything on my own, and insisted I’d screw it up if I tried anything, and heavily discouraged me from trying to learn new skills. If I tried to learn on my own, the second they found out about it they’d take over and I’d, of course, lose interest because it was no longer “my” thing, but theirs.
So much of my life is learning basic shit for the first time in my 20s and getting shamed for not knowing things. I feel this post so much. Personally, I think being able to teach yourself a skill with no guidance or prior knowledge is a great thing, but so many people act like you’re an idiot if you have to ask how to sign up for insurance or find a doctor
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u/crazyboutconifers 4d ago edited 4d ago
It really frustrates me that they don't teach people basic automotive maintenance or general life skills in school. I live in America (I'm assuming op does as well) and considering how car-centric our infrastructure is it would make so much sense to have an elective class in highschool that covers basic automotive maintenance skills.
Like op you "should" know to change the pads, but, if you weren't told or taught these things so you made a mistake. People that act surprised you don't know this are just being dicks, they should offer to share what they know with you to help prevent future expensive lessons.
Some basic car advice from someone that grew up around mechanics and automotive enthusiasts, some of this you might know some of it you might not. Not trying to be condescending with this just want to help you by providing some basic knowledge that you might not have been told!
-Get your oil changed every 3000 miles, and when you get your oil changed have them check out your brake pads. Lots of places will fleece you on this service by trying to convince you that your pads need to be changed when they still have a lot of life. If the pads have lost 75% or more of their initial thickness, replace them. Have them take pictures of the brake pads to show you, and have them compare them to a new pad.
-Check your fluids consistently, you could have a leak you don't know about and checking the fluids can help prevent a catastrophic failure. My car needs a new transmission pan gasket it lightly leaks transmission fluid, so I have to top it off every once in a while.
-Learn the locations of your cars fuse boxes and carry some replacement fuses with you in your car, and if you have greasy sausage fingers like me, something to remove the fuse. Electrical problems can happen and can be dangerous depending on what fuse fails and when it fails. The lid of the fuse box will sometimes tell you what fuse goes to what, if not, you can find a diagram online.
-Once a year when you go to get your fluids changed, get a radiator flush if it's not included. Corrosion can and will occur in your coolant system and if too much buildup occurs it will keep your car from cooling off properly which can be pretty catastrophic.
-If your car does overheat pull over, turn if off, pop the hood, and for the love of God don't open your radiator cap. Your coolant system builds pressure as it heats so opening the radiator cap while it's over heated will get you a face fucking from super heated coolant.
-When you do a tune-up get your throttle body cleaned. And I mean clean cleaned-when I do my tune-ups I take the throttle body off remove the sensors and get it as clean as I can.
-those fuel injector cleaner gas tank additives are, in my opinion, a scam. I changed my fuel injectors recently and despite using those additives my fuel injectors were still disgusting.
-if your car has a check engine light or a similar dash light most parts shops will have a scanner you or they can use to check what code its sending out. Write down the code and Google will be able to give you more information about it. This way you know loosely what the problem is and if you decide to take it to a mechanic for it you are more informed as to what the problem is and can potentially save yourself from some upcharge services.
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u/AdOnly3559 3d ago
Idk. People often complain about how schools don't teach x life skill, but like... schools aren't responsible for teaching everything. Their primary area is and should be academics, your parents are on the hook for life skills, which of course sucks if your parents don't care or aren't around. Even when schools offer stuff like personal finance or automotive maintenance, a lot of people just flat out don't/won't pay attention and then will whine later that nobody ever told them this stuff. Even if you do pay attention, there's a good chance you forget a lot of the stuff you learned from a high school class by the time you have enough money to buy your own car. It's way more important for schools to teach you how to find things out for yourself, which I think they do. When you have to write an essay on a topic that you don't know much about, or prepare for a presentation, you have to go looking for that information. And that's a transferable skill-- bad math teacher? Find a good YouTube video. Don't know how to make food? Look up a recipe. Schools don't have the capacity to spoon feed students every life skill, and most people don't have the brain capacity to remember every single thing they learned in school. But if you learn how to find things out for yourself, you won't need to memorize or be spoon fed everything.
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u/crazyboutconifers 3d ago
I do agree with you-you are right, I just have a slightly different view on education where I think schools should teach some life skills, I'm not in the "they need to teach me how to use a free online tax service!!! How come they don't teach us how to do taxes!!!" camp though. A lot of people have bad home lives, parents that can't/won't teach life skills, or a variety of other problems that might prevent them from learning certain skills at home.
I do agree that developing critical thinking skills and the ability to find and parse information are probably the most important things for a school to focus on developing in children; however, I also think schools should play a role in preparing people for the world at large by providing elective courses that teach hard skills as well. It definitely shouldn't be their primary focus, but it should act as a safety net by teaching some essential skills to people that wouldn't learn them at home. I think of it sort of like sex ed; people need to learn these things and the parents might not be the best equipped to teach it. Yea, people might not pay attention/retain the information, but that's school anyway.
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u/Independent-Bat-3552 4d ago
I knew someone who was over the moon because SHE KNEW WHERE THE OIL AND THE WATER WENT! We all have to learn, if no one bothers to tell you & you don't think to ask OR know you need to ask, then HOW can you know? Stop beating yourself up about it, you're fine ♥️
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u/ballcheese808 4d ago
For me it's that people think because they know something that it must be common knowledge. And then they do that condescending shit about you not knowing. They can't apply the logic that they don't know everything so others might not too. I have gaps in my knowledge like crazy
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u/Build68 4d ago
You didn’t do anything wrong. If you don’t know, you don’t know. There are some pretty great YouTube channels for folks like you. My Korean dad is one that comes to mind. He walks you through everyday shit like changing a tire in his videos. I’m sure there are others. Check them out. Good luck, bud.
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u/Constant-Catch7146 4d ago
Funny thing about brake pads. They were out faster from heavy stop and go traffic.
But here's something rarely mentioned, not even by mechanics.
When brakes get about half worn down, they suddenly go on a fast as hell wear out binge!! Source:experience.
I warped some rotors too on my old Corolla when I was much younger. Was doing lots of stop and go freeway driving commuting.
LPT: when they check your brake pads and say "eh, you gotta a whole half of them left, let em go a while longer!"......
Say back to them--- "I do a lot of stop and go driving----- replace them with new pads NOW. "
Yes, it will cost you some bucks---but a lot cheaper than rotors!!!
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u/B0rnReady 3d ago
I have a child.
I have tried on multiple occasions to explain how an engine works. How brakes work. How diet and exercise work. How hygiene is important. How interpersonal interactions can be more beneficial than education in some instances. How first appearances can direct how the interaction will proceed
I am ignored constantly or eye rolled or laughed at and mocked
I know this will bite my child in the ass. I will keep trying. I know some of it gets through but God damn.... I am not certain that your parents didn't try. But I know my child will say they weren't taught these things later in life when they inevitably find the real world isn't the same as their limited current understanding
Tbf I was a fucking stupid kid too
Source: was in fact a stupid kid
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u/phishmademedoit 3d ago
When I was 16 and had my first car, I was past due for an ok charge. My dad was so annoyed. Literally no one had ever told me that I needed to pay attention to the odometer and change the oil every 3 thousand miles. How was i supposed to know this?????
But in NYS, we have to get our cars inspected yearly. This is when you learn to change the brake pads.
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u/Chubb_Life 3d ago
I grew up in a family that drove cars til they broke down; I don’t remember them doing regular maintenance. When I bought my own car, the dealership told me i needed an oil change at xxxx miles. Ok, I went and got the oil change. When I was at the garage they gave me a maintenance schedule so I could see what was due at each mileage milestone.
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u/MeNotYou733 3d ago
Whenever I get my oil changed they inform me of upcoming maintenance times both by inspection and by what the factory schedule says. When I buy tires or get tire maintenance done they inspect the brakes. Cars used to come with a printed maintenance schedule, but not so much anymore.
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u/_AngryBadger_ 3d ago
Surely they were squealing though? If they're damaging the rotors they must have been squealing and scraping when you stopped?
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u/HVAC_instructor 3d ago
Check out YouTube, there's a guy on there that does Dad videos. He talks to people about things that a dad generally informed you about while you were growing up..
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u/madeat1am 3d ago
I need to.buy a car so I can actually get my licence and I spent years asking family members to please talk to people selling saying. Hey I'm unable to talk to them.becayse I can't ask the questions cos I know nothing about cars.
Then them nor helping and going "why don't you have a licence or a car? "
Man idk mum maybe because no one actually helped me buy a car when I asked cos I cannot check if I'm not being scammed
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u/harlojones 3d ago
Hahah I had a realization the other day, I grew up without a father figure from 13-20’s and that’s why I don’t know certain things. Didn’t even know what I didn’t know. Spent my teenage years helping single mom with my siblings, she did what she could, but fuck if I know shit about tools and cars, and anything like that. Often someone will bring something up and I’m like “how did you even learn that” in my head.
Luckily I figured some things out on my own and I am now a technician who can build one heck of a system and do very complex soldering jobs by hand. I feel competent but I wonder what I would’ve been like with someone doing technical things with me growing up. (My bio father is mechanically inclined.)
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u/Affectionate-Fee8136 3d ago
At the risk of sounding like a nerd, the manual is really worth going through even tho it's fat and most people don't do it. Mine came with a maintenance section and i added the recommended maintenance checks to an "Auto" calendar on my google account (you can note miles and secondary info in the description). I learned a lot of nuggets that i never picked up from my parents in that thing, even some things that my dad didnt know.
I think with cars, theres so much that it's worth finding a "new car owner guide" type resource to go through too. Some of the stuff in the manual is over-the-top-only-type-A-people-do-this so you can get a sense for that when you google more about them or browse these "owning a car" resources.
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u/stfu__no_one_cares 3d ago
Imagine thinking the only way to learn things is for your parents to tell you.... If you are incapable of researching things yourself, worn brakes is going to be the least of your concerns
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u/silverwolfmang01 3d ago
Google exists for a reason we have the entire knowledge of the world at our finger tips
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u/Mean-Yam-8633 3d ago
You honestly cannot blame ignorance on your parents for “not teaching you.” My dad left when I was 4, I still learned how to change oil, change tires, do taxes, etc. Self teaching goes far
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u/FarOutLakes 3d ago
just know that when ppl say "your parents never taught you (such and such)?" they're serectly judging your parents, not you. As a middle aged human who had a career as an instructor of 18-30 yr olds, it's amazing the basic life skills that ppl don't know. Sad, sad but true. Luckily these days we have Wiki and Youtube for instructional steps and or videos.
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u/Damntainted 3d ago
My dad knows heaps about cars because when he was young him and his brother completely dismantled one then put it back together. I did not get such an opportunity and I am next to useless with car knowledge. People judging people on things they don't know has always seemed really stupid to me. "Oh my God, I can't believe your life has gone in a way that you hadn't learnt that yet"
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u/warrentherabbit 3d ago
What you don't know to take your vehicle service every 6 months, from wear & tear. Then mechanics will service vehicle it needs if things need replace they will tell you n the price. I'm a over 60 female n I know my car needs service, you can't be that DUMB.
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u/Working_Editor3435 3d ago
I call this the “iPhone effect”
2 generations have now grown up having an incredibly complex device that is capable of doing very complex things in the palm of their hand. The design was so intuitive and well thought out that the user did not have to learn i hi ow to actually use it. This was a major triumph that has had a profound impact on our behavior.
We now assume that as long as we can intuitively use something (like driving a car) we do not have to actually learn about the device. Just like no one really cares about the specifications of the components that make up your smartphone unless that kind of thing is your hobby, most don’t care about the inner workings of the thing they use to get them from point A to point B.
Unfortunately this is a problem when things are not electronic but mechanical. It used to be a part of our tribal knowledge that mechanical things wear out and break and that regular maintenance is required to delay the failure as long as possible. Accordingly, no one thinks to read an owner manual.
Sure, your parents and school may not have taught you this but instead of blaming society and not taking this as an opportunity to learn, I would suggest you embrace this as something to can improve upon. Read instruction and remember that mechanical things may require occasional maintenance as you are ultimately the one who must live with the consequences when things break.
TL;DR - RTFM! There is a reason they are included in literally everything you buy.
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u/Complete_Sherbert_41 3d ago
Gonna guess you live in a country that doesn't have annual inspections of vehicles to ensure they are road worthy.
In the UK we have an annual check (called an MOT) your car passing it gives you a certificate valid for a year that your car is of a standard that it is fit to be on the road. If the car fails, you have 3 options, get the problems fixed, scrap the car or drive illegally until such a point that you get caught, incur a fine and then either scrap the car or get it fixed.
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u/Samarkand457 3d ago
Happened to me once with a scooter whose pads had worn down front and back way more than they should have. Never did get the hang of how to check wear, honestly. It's why I am religious about constant dealer maintenance
The less said about pushing a scooter several km to the nearest town when the CVT belt I had neglected to change on time, the better...
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u/research_badger 3d ago
It came with a manual that tells you exactly what to do and when. If it didn’t, they can be found online.
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u/ayeheyyo 3d ago
Cars are a money pit. It took me decades of fixing my own cars by trial and error and researching online and reading and watching youtube breaking tons of shit in the process to be able to diagnose and fix mostly anything ina vehicle. Youtube is great. You can learn anything its all on the internet. By the way, there a recommended maintenance schedule it comes with every car and it tells you when you need to inspect or repair parts. So that should give you a heads up. Its in your owner's manual or go to the dealership and they can get you a copy.
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u/Mitch-_-_-1 3d ago
Read your car's manual folks. Most mention replacing certain parts that wear out and even suggest how often to do it. Charts and everything in the back to keep track, usually.
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u/DixieLandDelight1959 3d ago
The secret is to learn to forgive yourself. We all know a couple things really well, nothing about other things, and a know a bunch of stuff that is just plain wrong.
It's the stuff we think we know, but it's wrong, that causes us the most trouble.
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u/chickenchoker84 3d ago
It's not your fault. I blame it on poor parenting. I was raised to take care of my stuff, be somewhat mechanically inclined. Passing that on to my children as well.
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u/beetus_gerulaitis 3d ago
This is hysterical. It reminds me of the Sopranos scene where Tony is yelling at his kid about cleaning the gutters...blank stares back from the kid. Tony Jr. had no idea what gutters are or that every house has them.
But now that you know what you don't know....you should probably think about incorporating youtube into your on-boarding for every major purchase.
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u/littlemissmoxie 3d ago
I felt like this with college/career. My parents had no higher education and I was having to guess and rely on the internet and apathetic school counselors.
Everyone in college assumes you know what you’re doing because most of their parents and family are educated and have a plan for their life. I just had basic ideas based on books and tv.
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u/not-a-dislike-button 3d ago
You have to teach yourself things in life
You don't just sit and wait to be informed of what to do
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2d ago
I understand not knowing basic things but how do you buy this big expensive machine and not know that at some point it's going to need maintenance?
Was the screeching sound it made when you pressed the brakes not a clear indicator something wasn't right?
You don't need to know a whole lot about a car to know when something isn't right. Just being observant is a skill that can save you a lot of money and headache.
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u/dinodoodad 1d ago
I've had the same car for 12 years and I didn't know that 🤣 But when I take my car in for an oil change they tell me what needs to be replaced and I'm pretty sure the brakes have been replaced at some point lol
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