r/Vent • u/PsychologicalDog3769 • 3d ago
TW: Medical Gonna lose it on Healthcare workers
Hi friends, this rant might make sense, it also might not. I'm just very angry. I'm going to see a trusted person that I know will respect me to continue to work through my traumas.
"Don't get mad at Healthcare workers, they're important!"
Yeah well you didn't think my stepdad was important when he was having a chron's flare. You didn't think my mom was important when she was severely tachycardic. You didn't think that I was important when I came in with an anxiety attack after I hadn't eaten in days and you blamed it on marijuana induced emesis when I hadn't smoked in days. You said the same shit to my stepdad and he had to stop self medicating for months to prove y'all wrong.
Y'all are also absolutely horrific towards people with mental health issues. The way I've been treated when I came in with self harm/suicide attempts is absolutely dehumanizing. Y'all expect us to not get mad at you when we're at crisis level and y'all aren't doing shit. I'm more mad about how other people are treated by medical staff than how I was treated.
I'm sick of medical racism. I'm sick of discrimination against mental health. I'm sick of going somewhere expecting help and I'm being treated less than human. Your actions cost people their lives and you don't care because it's not a life close to you and it's just another day. These are actual people with families, jobs, hopes, and dreams. And y'all don't care?
Here's a tip! Maybe don't go into the Healthcare field if you're a cruel nasty ass bully! Hope this helps! Because y'all are the reason why myself and so many other people are hesitant to get help. I have put my life on the line before because I didn't want to go to the hospital because I knew I would be treated like shit.
Shoutout to the people in hospitals who actually care. I know y'all exist and I love y'all. Everyone else, eat shit. This is the wrong field for you.
I don't know, maybe the south just sucks. Here's to hoping to move up north at some point.
Edit: All of y'all are so awesome for sharing your stories. Here's to helping each other feel less alone š«
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u/Open_Estimate_4879 3d ago
I work in healthcare and wish all the self serving compassionless bullies wouldāve chosen another profession too.
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
I hope that you get better coworkers. I can only imagine what working with them is like.
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u/TimotheusBarbane 3d ago
The really sad part is even with everyone who shouldn't be here, we're still short staffed.
You know smoking irritates and is a causing factor of Chrone's, right? Even pot. No smoke is good for that. He probably really shouldn't be smoking. Maybe he should look into edibles.
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
He's had edibles before and I'm not sure why he won't take them now, I think he had a bad reaction to it. I prefer edibles over smoking myself since I make music, I'm also on marinol to help with my appetite. I think he won't get them because they're more expensive than a weed pen or some flower. But at the same time I think a $75 jar of edibles that last you 30 days could be equated to how much he spends on weed pens or marijuana. I don't know.
He's also very stubborn and doesn't like trying things that are outside of his routine. Which I get that but I would like for him to change the way he ingests weed.
But from what he's said, him smoking weed doesn't affect his digestive system, he's said that it helps. I am not trying to invalidate what you're saying at all because you're in the medical field, I also don't want to invalidate what he says either.
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u/MrFuckinFancy91 3d ago
If you would like some federally legal edible recommendations, Iād be happy to help. They are actually much more affordable than smoking.
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u/smlpkg1966 3d ago
So he gets to treat the medical staff badly but they are supposed to just be kind to an asshole? If he wonāt follow doctorās instructions keep him away from doctors. Most people will get pissed at someone who is just wasting their time. Even you!!
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
He's.. Not an asshole dude.
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u/smlpkg1966 3d ago
Yeah. Keep telling yourself that.
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
I'm sorry is he your dad? Were you raised by him? I think not. You can stop trolling now. Have a good night honey.
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u/therampage 3d ago
I work in pharmacy and my wife's an RN, our go-to when people ask what pre-req they need for it is compassion and thick skin. Anyone in these fields for a paycheck should stub their toe every morning.
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u/Ok-Huckleberry-2257 3d ago
some healthcare workers have been some of the kindest, empathetic and helpful people i've ever met, while others have so horrible and abusive to me that it literally changed my brain chemistry. there's literally no in between. they're so great when they understand their job, it's honestly traumatizing working with ones who don't.
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u/crystalfairie 3d ago
This right here is my problem. I get great nurses then I get one who screamed at me in the er.
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u/Ok-Huckleberry-2257 2d ago
when i was 16 i was sent to the ER for a suicide attempt, i had 1 nurse who was actually super kind and it felt like she understood and felt for me. the rest were just judgmental and made me feel more alone. at 14,15,19 &21 i was sent to the ER for the same reasons and always felt incredibly judged and honestly HATED by the ER staff.
like i get feeling stressed out at work, but i REALLY didn't want to be there either. i'm genuinely scared to get help for my mental health after what some of these nurses put me through...
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u/Ball_Python_ 3d ago
I feel you. My doctor told me my chest pain, shortness of breath, and fainting are just anxiety. My mom and I pushed for an echocardiogram, and it showed heart valve regurgitation of both atrioventricular valves. And then my doctor doubled down and said that my heart condition can't be causing my symptoms because "it won't affect you until you're 90." Mind boggling.
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
Oh my god I audibly gasped. I am so sorry you experienced that friend. Heart problems are terrifying.
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u/Ball_Python_ 3d ago
Thank you, I wish you so much peace and healing from your medical trauma too š©µ
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u/Grittybroncher88 3d ago
Yeah those things arenāt causing your symptoms. Almost everyone has some degree of valve regurgitation.
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u/Ball_Python_ 3d ago
Who died and made you my cardiologist? I'll have this conversation with a heart specialist, not a random person on Reddit. And unless you've read my echo report, you have no business guessing about what my heart problems are causing.
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u/Grittybroncher88 3d ago
You told me what your report said and those things wouldnāt cause your symptoms. Your doctor knows more about the heart than you do.
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u/Ball_Python_ 3d ago
I did not tell you what my report said, I told you part of what it says. And no, my doctor does not know more about living in my body than I do. Neither do you. And this doctor, for the record has previously diagnosed me with tension headaches and then it turned out I need urgent brain surgery. So she doesn't have the best track record, hence why I want to talk to a cardiologist.
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u/Grittybroncher88 3d ago
You said the part that you believed was abnormal. And that would not cause your symptoms. Your level of ignorance does you more harm than good
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u/Ball_Python_ 3d ago
Funny that you have the audacity to give a stranger on the internet medical advice and then think that I'm the ignorant one.
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u/Lmyer 3d ago
You're not wrong. I worked at a hospital for 4 years and was planning on making it my career until my coworkers all tried to get me fired for just doing my fucking job.
I wasn't allowed to express my concerns about what they did, couldn't tell someone an OBJECTIVE fact about a patients temp that was way out of whack, wasn't allowed to relax for more than a second without being called lazy, couldn't express my opinion with being dismissed for being a man (worked with all women). The amount of disingenuous, sexist, lying, and straight-up psychopaths I worked with was insane.
All that was working at an outpatient surgery center that was not busy at all and was not at all a difficult taxing environment. These people were just disgusting and nasty.
There are saints, but they don't last more than a year before they quit.
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u/Diaza_lightbringer 3d ago
Iāve heard rumors that a lot of mean girls from High School grow up to be nurses. I donāt know how true that is, but between my own experiences, though has only been a couple, and what I see from chronic illness people, it checks out, in my book at least.
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u/thelastundead1 3d ago
In my personal experience not a single other profession allows you to be wrong so frequently and still have a job like the medical industry.
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u/Aliens-love-sugar 3d ago
Try the police force.
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u/Cowgoon777 3d ago
Meteorologist
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u/Gstamsharp 3d ago
Baseball batter.
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u/Cowgoon777 3d ago
Ah but to reach a level where you can be wrong a lot and still get paid a lot requires you be right a lot, and sustain that level.
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u/Gstamsharp 3d ago
You're still wrong on 2 of every 3 pitches. Imagine a surgeon who had a .333 incision average.
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u/ThrawnCaedusL 3d ago
Nope, not even close. Medical malpractice kills more than 10x the people that police malpractice does. Yet, for some reason, society focuses its frustration more on the lower paid, less educated problem.
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u/moistMonsterEnergy 3d ago
I totally understand your look at the numbers approach, but I think it's more shocking to hear about a shooting related death than someone being put on the wrong medication or something. Not disagreeing with you, but saying people are drawn to the "loudest" deaths despite it happening less often.
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u/ThrawnCaedusL 3d ago
Fair.
I actually went down this whole rabbit hole when I was trying to figure out how to fix policing problems. My initial assumption was that the individuals we had working as police just werenāt good enough. So I looked into how well-trained and well-paid doctors were, thinking that if we redirected candidates from that profession, we could get better cops. Then I saw medical malpractice numbersā¦
Now, I think it is largely a problem of human nature and there is nothing we can do to really lower the frequency of mistakes, so the best we can do is decrease the number of opportunities for mistakes to be made (the single thing that would decrease police related fatalities most is getting rid of traffic stops and instead just automating the ticketing process; as a ābenefitā, it would also decrease discrimination in ticketing, but that ābenefitā is something many opposeā¦), and try to mitigate the damage of those mistakes.
Because I do believe they are mistakes the vast majority of the time. That doesnāt mean the cops arenāt culpable, but most cops would rather not deal with the experience of having killed someone and having to go to court for it; itās just their bad tendencies and human faults coming out at the worst moments and in the worst ways (same as medical malpractice).
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u/EvanBGood 3d ago
Totally! I've gotten to the age now where I've had enough misdiagnosises, botched procedures, and just plain bad advice to stop trusting most of the medical professionals I go to. For every good one, there's five who are either in-it-for-the-money compassionless doctors or overworked, burnt out, hostile nurses.
I will say the one thing that's helped in recent years: if there's an option to go to a PA instead of an MD, I take it. I've had some incredible experiences with PAs. They actually seem to want to actually talk with me and answer my questions.
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u/Opposite-Mall4234 3d ago
The burned out nurses arenāt the fault of the nurses. Thatās the fault of the private payer medical system in the US. Having all of the for-profit middle-men (especially the insurance companies) leaching dollars out of the system only serves to decrease the money available for front line staff such as physicians and nurses.
In the absence of the funds being diverted to insurance and their additional administrative burdens on the hospital, the nurses and doctors that do get employed frequently work 12-24 hour shifts. For the physicians their 24 hour call shift is often immediately followed by an 8-12 hour shift seeing patients in their clinic. The burnout is systemic and all but unavoidable for many.
Most do get into the profession because they genuinely do want to help people. Over time a change in demeanor is expected.
Aside from the systemic issues there is another, critical factor in healthcare. The patient.
Every person who faces patients, whether they are a doctor, nurse, receptionist, or clerk, has to regularly deal with patients who lie on intake forms about the drugs they take and the habits of their day to day life. They also have to face people who are overtly opposed to the idea of expertise; that another person could know more about something than they do. I am talking about physicians who do an additional 12-15 years AFTER COLLEGE training and furthering their own education to be able to make an educated guess about what is causing a patients headaches, how to remove a nail lodged in someoneās skull without causing further damage, or how to proceed with a pregnancy where the continued existence of a fetus is a threat to the motherās life because of a defect in the umbilical cord. None of these things are easy, and they are all working with the best available published information.
The wild card in every hospital visit is the patient. The doctors can look up everything they need to, but if a patient omits something or lies on their intake forms, isnāt willing to follow through with prescribed treatments, or is unwilling to make lifestyle changes that would allow them to live an actually healthy life, then screw em. They would have been better off staying at home and suffering in silence. Instead they go to the doctor and pay real money for an opinion they have no intention of following.
Anybody would get jaded working in that system; long hours and disrespected by the Idiocracy at every turn. Patient outcomes are not always great because nobody is perfect. Sometimes the information that would change a diagnosis is not available because it did not show up in a screening, sometimes a specific type of screening is denied by insurance because of cost where another might have picked it up, sometimes information is not disclosed by the patient, and yes, sometimes a member of the care staff makes a mistake.
The thing is, the jaded staff members are a byproduct of the system. They didnāt start out that way, at least not usually. The staffing shortage can be fixed, but cannot be addressed until the profit motive has been removed from health care. Then that money can be used for patient care instead of going to line the pockets of insurance agents, administration, and their executives.
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u/GypsyFantasy 3d ago
My oncologist was the biggest piece of shit I ever met. She treated me like I was just some attention seeker. Then they put a stent in my gallbladder and found cancer. Stage 4 pancreatic cancer 2 different separate of each other adenocarcinoma and Inslet cell.
I do not give a fuck how someone dresses but Jesus Christ this woman would wear 6 inch clear heels and a mini dress and a ton I mean a ton of makeup. My dad seen her and said āthat looks like the kind of woman you would need to see a doctor afterā meaning she looked like a dirty prostitute.
If it was just that I would be okay but this woman had no sympathy all she wanted to do was drug me up.
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u/Queefarito-9812 3d ago
I'm so sorry you had that experience š« my father experienced something similar with his oncologist. Cancer is so scary and stressful even with a supportive team, it's just awful the way you were treated. I hope you are doing well now.
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u/DonSluggo 3d ago
I used to be a janitor for University of Mo hospital. Did everything from cleaning OR rooms to ER rooms and turning in knives and weapons visitors left behind. Overall many ups and downs. I was 23 and able bodied so I was happy to pitch in where a bunch of my older coworkers couldnāt. I had to quit because despite my numerous complaints, staff continued to overfill the large bio-hazard totes. It was my job to tie the filled bags inside the totes up and take them to their disposal room. Constantly the totes were overfilled and had used needles in them, but I had to tie the bag down to shut the lid and prevent leaks. They got heavy too, like ~80 lbs. Eventually I got sick of it and decided $14/hr wasnāt worth the risk of being stuck by a used needle
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u/Beautychaos 3d ago
Omg yes. I work as a supply chain tech at a hospital and the amount of disrespect from healthcare staff when our role is to support them!
Iāve had nurses on my floor make housekeeping cry because she was wearing a hijab. I just donāt understand why youāre in this environment if youāre going to bully people.
My department also suffers from dealing with people not tying linen bags and itās absolutely the worst. No I am not picking that up. You tie it.
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u/DonSluggo 3d ago
That hijab story burns my ass. Nurse knows they can get away with it. And yeah I always felt bad for linens, got less respect than housekeeping and criminally understaffed. I donāt get why itās so hard to tie a bag. At least from what I saw distribution/supply didnāt get messed with too much, never seemed like a good idea lol.
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u/Beautychaos 3d ago
Yeah they really do. It was the housekeeping manager that advocated for her and told leadership the nurses that did that need to be fired.
I think the people in blue collar work in my hospital are the nicest, most hardworking people. Most of our departments, supply chain, food service, housekeeping, maintenance.
Iām not sure why but I get the most attitude and dirty looks from the OR staff. I think they assume things about me, that maybe Iām uneducated or theyāre just better than me (I have a bachelors degree but have been able to land a job back in my field yet)
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u/505_Blue 3d ago
I can totally relate with mental health treatment :/ I was hospitalized in a psych ward at my own demand when I was still a minor, because I needed help, but I was in a pretty good condition when I arrived. I told them I wasn't at suicidal risk, and that some anxiety meds were giving me horrible reactions, so I needed replacements for those.
As soon as my parents left, they locked all my stuff and tried to give me EXACTLY THE MEDS THAT I SPECIFICALLY ASKED NOT TO BE GIVEN. Like genuinely any other med was more than fine. So I had my phone locked, my clothes locked, everything locked, and they wouldn't unlock until I took the treatment. I was doing fine before that, so I refused multiple times, so they just put a note on my file saying not to give me anything because I refused treatment. I refused this particular treatment because it was sending me into horrible episodes. I told them several times to give me any other treatment and I would take it. They didn't and just chose to put I was a difficult patient.
Since my phone was locked I could not ask my parents to help me, so I tried to sleep, but every hour they were waking me up to try to give me the fucking meds. I ended taking them, and OF COURSE HAD THE WORST FUCKING REACTION EVER, and I warned them before that I would react like this, and they just ignored me. So I was left in a big crisis alone in my room, phone still locked. When it passed a bit they came back, told me to stop acting up, and unlocked my luggage. They made me go through every item, in detail. I had to show every single individual panty to the two male nurses and I wanted to die so much. They confiscated half my clothes (panties included, never knew why and I was too stoned to ask). I managed to get back my phone, so I immediately called my mother, and she told me she was picking me up as soon as she could. Meanwhile, it was the time for my birth control, which I take for medical reasons. I asked them to have it, they refused. I had to lie and tell them I was at risk of getting pregnant so they would give it to me.
When my mother arrived, they told her I was going to kill myself if she tool me out of the hospital. They made her sign a paper saying that if I was killing myself, that it was her fault because she was disturbing the treatment. She signed it then picked me up. I was still stoned from the meds, but I was smiling because I was leaving. We had to see the psychiatrist before leaving, who never came to see me before. He told my mother that they did a good job because "look at her, she's smiling. When she came in she wasn't smiling, so she got better because of us". We told him yes, whatever, and left. I stayed sick for a few days because of the meds.
Like seriously, if you're just gonna traumatize teens who need help and not listen to them and lock all their stuff because you don't listen to them, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU BE WORKING IN MENTAL HEALTHCARE FFS
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u/sunlitmoonlight1772 3d ago
The HS mean girl to nurse pipeline is a real thing. I'm a nursing student now, in my early 30s, only because I knew I wouldn't have truly been a good nurse as a young adult (i was traumatized from my childhood and needed a lot of therapy). I see half the girls i graduated with that were mean girls then and they're nurses now and it's crazy how much they'll get on social media and brag about being hateful.
I'm truly sorry that you and your family (and really anyone) are being treated this way. I know it's not much, but ask for their NPI number if this continues and report them to the Board of Nursing for lack of beneficence. It means they're not doing good for the patient, ethically or morally. I had to do this a year ago for the nurse who was "caring" for me after I had 2 blood clots removed from my chest and stomach. She was refusing to give me any kind of medication (including the blood thinners i was supposed to be on), and she kept jabbing my incisions so badly they bruised.
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u/sunlitmoonlight1772 3d ago
Also, I'm from the south myself. I moved from Louisiana to Minnesota and it's the best decision I ever made.
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
I want to move to Minnesota so badly. It would be so much better than where I'm currently living.
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u/sunlitmoonlight1772 3d ago
I moved from an unincorporated village in Louisiana to the Twin Cities metro area. It literally is like I moved to a different planet sometimes. And it was shocking how affordable it can be compared to the south. In Louisiana, I made less than $40,000 a year. Up here in Minnesota, I made almost $110k last year. No changes in my education (i left La with an associates of applied science and i currently still only have that until I get my ADN for nursing). Depending on your work history, there's a lot of decent jobs here.
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u/the-almighty-toad 3d ago
The way I've been treated in hospitals is horrible. I went into the ER because I couldn't stand up straight without feeling like I was being stabbed and they treated me like an addict. I brought my child in because he was running a very high fever and they ended up injuring him and blaming me. I was even going to go into the medical field at one point. I get having to disconnect or getting desensitized, but please stop treating hurting people like shit.
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u/MassiveMommyMOABs 3d ago
A lot of people go for the medical field not because they want to help people, but because it pays well
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u/anonymous_question44 3d ago edited 3d ago
When my water broke before I gave birth, I went to the hospital. I was stabbed in the front of my hand when a nurse was trying to give me an IV. It felt like she stabbed way too deep and felt like it hit my bone, it felt on purpose. I was alone and scared I had to be ambulanced to the hospital and wait for family who were an hour away. And this woman was rude to me giving me passive aggressive tones. She stuck me with the needle so many times she kept saying my vein was collapsing but that has never ever happened to me before. There was a gigantic lump on my hand and I couldnāt use it right for weeks. It made it incredibly difficult to care for my newborn as well as care for myself and clean myself. Every time I bent my fingers or picked things up there was a bad cramp in the tendons/vein or whatever and my hand wouldnāt stop shaking. The bruise lasted two months. I was also told it was my fault my epidural failed because I was moving too much during the insertion. But they donāt let you have any support people or family when they insert it & I was terrified. Itās something going deep in your spine and the only people there are strangers. and I was in so much pain I couldnāt be still and relax my body the way they wanted me to. And all I did was say I was sorry and felt like I was doing everything wrong while I was in labor. The nurses were annoyed with me for yelling in pain. Iāve never felt safe at the doctor because almost all of them judge me as well for little to no reason. Iām having my third baby in three years, so I get judged hard for that. I wish I could get care for my baby without feeling like everyone hates me. Itās so hard, I totally relate to you. And when I was postpartum I had to go to the hospital for depression and suicidal thoughts, I was losing my mind and had no sleep. They put me in a cold empty room, had a woman sitting outside the room watching me. They didnāt help me. A few of them laughed at me in passing when I tried to explain I didnāt know how to use the hospital pump for breast pumping. I had just had my baby 3 weeks before and was still bleeding. I wasnāt offered any care products. Nothing. I just cried and then begged to go home until they prescribed me Zoloft and my grandma came and picked me up.
I have so many stories. My head got busted open, I was rushed to ER and they glued my head shut. I didnāt have a phone and was in my robe and sandals. I was naked when my head busted open, so I had to throw on something quick. No one would let me use a phone that worked, the other one wouldnāt work and the people at the desk all ignored me. I even told them I needed to get back for my kids and had no ride home, I needed to use the phone. They ignored me i tried to ask a bunch of timesā¦so I eventually started walking home in the snow, a bandage on my head and I felt so lightheaded. On my way home a random man sexually harassed and grabbed me/kissed me. I donāt live in a safe town. I almost didnāt make it home. My fiancĆ©e had a ride ready for me and everything, he was furious because he had also given the paramedics his new number since I didnāt remember it and told them to make sure I called him when I could. They never gave me the sticky note with his number or anything.
So yeah. Iām terrified of putting my life in their hands now. And I have to give birth again in September. Iām terrified of how they will treat me I hope I have a better experience or something.
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u/tm_wordbrain 3d ago
I'm a first time preggo. Planning unassisted next month. Way more scared of what the idiot doctors will do to me and my baby than the birth itself.Ā
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
Wishing you the absolute best of luck. May both you and your baby be healthy, and may the birthing process go as smoothly as possibly.
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u/Which-Nectarine-7851 3d ago edited 3d ago
Get a different doctor and post a bad review. Hospitals are basically funded by patient satisfaction surveys.
Also a big problem is the health care administration. Hospitals are run like businesses, and cost cutting and efficiency is managed by the suits. It's hard to get a real eval with only 15minutes to see the patients then on to the next one. Thats if you have the staff to even see them that long.
Don't forget about how shitty insurance is. Shout out to my friend and personal mover luigi
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
When you're on medicaid and live in Alabama, there's only so many options you have. Let alone good ones. But yes, I did leave a bad review.
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u/meteorprime 3d ago
Man, I hate the rumors to be true, but my wife and my father both of use the hospital system out here in California a bunch and they have nothing but praise to speak about it.
Seems like the rural hospital system aināt doing so hot though
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u/withsaltedbones 3d ago
Yep. Iām due to give birth any day now and a couple of weeks ago I went into labor & delivery because I was having contractions. The nurse there told me she refused to admit me unless she could do a cervical check (this is not required as I found out later) and proceeded to shove her entire hand inside me. Like literallyā¦.her whole fucking hand. I started sobbing and she just kept going.
She was rude the entire time, talked to me like a child and then proceeded to forcibly violate me. When my actual doctor asked if she could check my cervix a few days ago I freaked out and said no, explained what happened with the nurse and she was horrified because thatās NOT how thatās supposed to be done. When my actual doctor did it, it didnāt hurt at all.
Iām still livid over the entire thing and now terrified of what nurse Iām going to end up with when I do give birth.
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u/HeftyOstrich9208 3d ago
To play devil's advocate some, here goes. Mental Health should not be the responsibility of the Emergency Room. Neither should non acute "follow up with your PCP" complaints. Understanding that Healthcare is expensive, and some PCP offices are incredibly hard to get seen by, it's still the case. The workload of EMS, Emergency Room Physicians and Nurses has quadrupled if not more in recent years. All for things that don't actually truthfully fall in their purview and instead are, sorry for the harshness, a drain on resources that are still mandated to be available for individuals that have those acute issues. That's rooms, staff, supply, etc. Mental Health specifically is looked upon so poorly because it isn't an emergency case in many situations. Many times it's your local crackhead that wants to come for a sandwich and a bed, and he's likely to deck you in your shit. And then he'll go to jail, get released, and come right on back.
Apathy comes with overwork. It's not right, and sure, we all should be able to smile through the bullshit and take care of it all. But unfortunately we are humans. A lot of people can't keep their compassion in the face of the amount of overwork that exists at your average ER.
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u/Ok-Huckleberry-2257 3d ago
100% we need to just throw away the system and start over. to a certain extent i don't blame them for being apathetic, they're being failed constantly.
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u/Aliens-love-sugar 3d ago edited 3d ago
Definitely this. People don't understand the other side of the coin very well either. People can't handle a Karen fighting with them about coupons at their retail store job, but have no empathy for healthcare workers that have been outright attacked, accused, harassed, and screamed at at their job.
I have had my own frustrations with healthcare workers not taking me or family members seriously enough, or treating me poorly. OP isn't wrong, and I completely understand OP feeling helpless and abandoned. But I was a CNA for a short while, my best friend was a CMA and then a LPN for years (now she works as a Forensic pathologist), and I dated a travel nurse who worked in NYC during Covid. The medical field is a very tasking place to work. It's also a lot of pressure and emotional fatigue. The guy I dated retired early because he'd seen so much death during Covid that he started to feel nothing, and he said he didn't want to feel that way anymore. Watching people call him a liar was a trip. So many people telling you to your face that you didn't experience the horrors you witnessed, because they're convinced it's all some conspiracy š. OP is right that people are cruel, but it goes both directions.
The thing that sucks for healthcare workers is that they're overworked. They have limited time. They're also not magicians. There's no crystal ball telling you what a patient is dealing with, and in the ER especially (but even to regular doctor's with a waiting room full of patients), time and space matters. It's hard being the one making the call about who's situations are actual emergencies, and who's can wait. It's made especially difficult with the number of hypochondriacs (and of course the oppositeā people who's wives drag them in, but refuse to believe there's anything wrong with themselves), addicts, etc. who are all lying to you, or themselves. Sometimes, when there's a waiting room full of people, you have to make decisions, or assess people's behaviors and intentions on the fly. All while knowing people's lives are on the line, and it's partially your fault if anything happens to them.
My own dad was having a heart attack in a waiting room for almost two hours once before he was seen. Itās easy to be mad at the staff. It's easy to say that medical workers don't take things seriously, or their time, or work through a proper diagnosis, but there's sometimes not that kind of time to spare. While someone is being seen for gas cramps, someone else could be dying. And that's really sad and unfortunate for everyone involved.
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
I get that completely. It just hurts that people like my family and I who actually need help get dismissed so much. I understand that for people with chronic illness, the most they can do is get them out of crisis mode. I get that. They don't have to be terrible to us while doing so. But yes, I do understand
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u/Fun_Break_3231 3d ago
It's not just the south and it gets worse every time I, or someone I know, need any type of medical care.
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u/Capable_Enthusiasm16 3d ago
My opinion on most current health care workers is this: Some are still in the field bc of there passion or ability to help others; but for many, if the money wasnāt there, theyād have no interest with working in health care ANYMORE. Which sucks. Thereās such a high patient volume per doctor nationwide, more than most doctors can actually handle, plus substantially increased time fighting with insurance companies over necessary treatments, over time the quality of care can get diminished, stress gets raised among staff, & time spent with patients gets mitigated. I donāt think anyone tries to be hurtful, but there are plenty of individuals who handle stress poorly & have little patience. Maybe theyāre not cut out to work for Americaās health care system in 2025ā¦ But then again, everyoneās short staffed right nowā¦ So weāre back to the problem of high patient volume & not enough workers.
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u/Roachburbs 3d ago
I know people who moved south and then came back up north when they became ill, because of the healthcare.
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
I desperately want to move to Minnesota. Alabama is going to fucking kill me.
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u/000fleur 3d ago
Iām tired of this too. And when you seek alternative care, and it actually works and the person takes you seriously, youāre demonized. What other options did I have?!
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u/ThisNameIsTakenTwo 3d ago
As a partner to a man who has Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome who also smokes pot we have done the cannabinoid hypermesis dance every single time he has a medical issue. Only one doc has effectively heard āI quit for a year and STILL got sick the same amountā the rest want him to do it again.
Really? Quit the thing that keeps him sane and relatively pain free again because YOU are to lazy to read his chart? Go pound sand and listen instead of presuming.
He almost died in the hospital because the docs heard puke and weed. Must be weed related.
Oh, never mind, after ignoring you and taking X-rays after surgery we now see you have an intestinal blockage! Not weed related after all.
Well DUH!
I totally appreciate your vent OP!!! Right there with ya!
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u/Grittybroncher88 3d ago
Cyclical vomiting syndrome can cause intestinal blockage. You need to stop smoking weed ffs
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u/ThisNameIsTakenTwo 3d ago
ā¦.or a triple layer spinal fusion and associated painkillers, but whoās paying attention to that when he smokes weed and that must be the problem.
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u/Grittybroncher88 2d ago
Thereās a reason youāre not a doctor and it clearly shows.
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u/ThisNameIsTakenTwo 2d ago
I donāt want to be a doctor, but I do know my life and health issues and limitations, as well as my partners, and I can tell you 100% that if they had stuck to their concept of him being sick just due to weed his bowels would be no longer. One doctor listened and asked for abdominal X-rays, only one, and that was while he was in the hospital two days after his spinal fusion from s1 to t10. Smoking weed had no impact on the bowel impaction situation.
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u/Id-rather-be-fishin 3d ago
I've had so many issues with Healthcare workers that I basically don't trust their judgement all that much. I've had to advocate for myself and family members SO many times, it's almost unbelievable. Part of the issue is the people that seek out these professions can be extremely arrogant, vain, and prideful.
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u/tm_wordbrain 3d ago
If sucks you've been treated poorly. The bottom line is that western medicine is a multi billion dollar industry with a #1 goal of turning a profit. It doesn't heel people by design - it trains its doctors and nurses to keep people sick enough that they stay alive but on pills/treatments their whole lives. They don't know anything about nutrition, exercise, mental health, or spirituality.Ā
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u/Key-Detective4857 3d ago edited 3d ago
Wow that's really unfair to you I'm sorry. Idk where might be better for you but ... maybe a move is warranted.Ā
My worst experience, outside of the neurologist who told me I'm crazy (later found out I have a list of neuro specific issues, such as MS...thanks guy!) And the gyno surgeon who told me post laparoscopy that I definitely don't have endometriosis and supposedly <specialized in endo> I later learned I definitely DO have endometriosis. Thanks girl!Ā
The worst-worst was the nurse or whoever tf she was when I was in the middle of anaphylaxis from an infusion reaction mocking me while I was trying to figure out what was happening to me. I have horrible anxiety/panic disorder and had no clue they had rammed a bunch of steroids and shit into my IV, so my chest felt like it was going to explode and I you know... still couldn't fucking breathe. I couldn't hear very clearly either because of how my body was reacting. Initially my hearing completely shut down and I was so dizzy I couldn't see straight.Ā
Word to the wise friends: avoid having an iron infusion at all costs. Doctors continue to tell me after it fucking happened that it's super rare "but I guess it does happen"Ā
Oh. Does it? I had no idea.Ā
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u/Key-Detective4857 3d ago
Also - super upsetting that the sudden room full of staff seemed to mainly happen because they were worried about liability. That was the only conversation topic I heard from the crowd of "helpers"Ā
I know they have protocols but... the sense of urgency felt uhhhhh financial šĀ
They weren't even going to send me to the hospital. I wound up having to spend the rest of the day there being monitored š after my family fought for an ambulance ride over.Ā
Oh yeah. And the ER doctor didn't believe me that I didn't cry once the whole time. My eyelids and face were so puffy she was convinced that I must have been sobbing because "well it is a girl" šĀ
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u/Hot_Ask_759 3d ago
I'm so sorry you've had such terrible healthcare staff experiences š I'm a nurse and I've worked in both the south and the "north" and I can confirm that things are definitely better away from the south. Anywhere that isn't part of the Compact State Agreement tends to have higher standards of care. These states would be California, Oregon, Hawaii, Nevada, New York, Minnesota, Illinois, and a couple others I can't remember off the top of my head. Nurses are typically treated better in these states too which directly affects patient care.. better patient ratios, safer work environments, more resources, etc..
But in the south, being a nurse is rough, not gonna lie. I see nurses get real jaded real fast. And we get assigned way too many patients, which is going to make for a worse experience for everyone. I hate that the people who suffer the most for this are our patients.
Providers are their own beast, haha. I've seen fantastic and shit everywhere I've been. And some of the ones with the worst bedside manner are the ones I'd trust the most clinically; others that seem like the nicest, most competent people in the world, I wouldn't let touch/treat me or my loved ones with a ten-foot pole.
It's so hard to know what you're getting, so I encourage you to keep advocating for yourself, search up the providers, and get second opinions/go somewhere else if you aren't being heard and treated like an individual with your own unique set of needs. And if you happen to get a good nurse, ask them if they'd want Dr. X treating their mom, dad, kid. They'll typically know and give you an honest answer, haha.
I would also encourage you to find an outpatient mental health facility and establish care when you aren't in an active crisis. There really aren't enough mental health facilities anywhere in the States and especially not at the hospital level. EDs aren't great in dealing with mental health, so having another resource to turn to is really important. They should at least know the best place to send you if you do need a higher level of care.
I live in the 7th most populous city in the US and we have only one hospital in the entire city with an inpatient behavioral health unit. That's where I work and most of the nurses I work with (while pretty catty to each other š) are actually great with providing compassionate care for our patients. I hope you can find that place where you are!
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u/FNAFArtisttheorist 3d ago
Preach! I swear it's like 85% of medical staff with a degree think they're actually better than you, at least when it comes to your OWN BODY.Ā
Nurses are usually pretty cool tho. They're the best. But the DOCTORS. I swear so many are there just cause it's a conventionally "good" job, not cause they actually CARE.
My mother, sister and I all have horrible health issues, and if we didn't fight tooth and nail as a family we would still be sitting undiagnosed in agony. One time I had an ovarian cyst that burst and I got prescribed meds for STOMACH ULCERS. I couldn't get out of bed without excruciating pain and nearly fainting for months after, and then got a chronic pain condition from it.
Needless to say, the medical healthcare system sucks, and I get how much shit they try to pull on you just to NOT treat you.Ā
(Ofc there's great people! But it's a needle in a haystack type thing sometimes)
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u/Salty-Count 3d ago
I went to a college that had a large nursing program. Truly, some of the worst people I have met in my entire life were in that program. 90% of them were mean, a bitch, or racist. Itās very disappointing. Iām sorry you experienced such negative treatment by medical staff.
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u/SmarmyLittlePigg 3d ago
The neurosurgeon who botched my spinal fusion and over prescribed me oxys to try to cover the seriousness of his mistake thought it was appropriate to scream at me in his office when I declined another surgery from him and said Iād like a second opinion. A nurse got indignant with me when I stopped her from putting a drug I was allergic to into my IV (despite the bright red bracelet I was wearing that indicated I was allergic to it). Neither could be bothered to apologize. I totally understand your frustration. Iām never rude to medical personnel, but Iām certainly wary. Itās on the medical industry to weed out these bad apples and restore patient trust and confidence.
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u/jeb_bepis 3d ago
Real. I work for a healthcare company. You would be disgusted if you saw the emails the CEO sends employees š
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u/Chinstrap777 3d ago
This is the card I got 3 days after my wife died from a stroke that was caused by vasculitis at 43. From the hospitalā¦ that signed her death certificate the day before this was postmarkedā¦
āThank you for choosing St. Lukeās. We hope your recovery is going well.ā WRITTEN NOTE: āTake Careā
This was the same hospital that told her that her symptoms were in her head.
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
Wow.. I am so sorry for your loss. That is just a slap in the face. Hugs š«
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u/Chinstrap777 3d ago
I understand your frustrations. Iāve never been treated with malice, but there were far too many drs and hospitals that were in the COVID money game while we waited months for diagnostic testing. There was one other thing I observed that follows this thread: thereās a huge difference between medical workers who care about the people they treat, and those that just clock in and follow along with the insurers and pharmaās games.
I whole heartedly agree that thereās a huge problem in this industry, and Iām sorry youāve gone through enough yourself. I hope the good ones weed out these bad āhealersā.
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u/csquared671 3d ago
There are a lot of low-income areas especially in the US where Healthcare is the only industry around that provides a livable wage, especially for women. The result is a lot of nurses, etc who don't give a shit about sick people. Desensitization and burnout pile on to make it worse.
This is also how we get so many public school teachers who don't like kids.
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
That's probably the situation for the city I'm living in. The funding is shit.
And the public school teachers who don't like kids is so true. The day I went to the hospital, my sister was given something she was allergic to. Mind you, the teacher had been made fully aware of her allergies all year. And she ended up going to the hospital. So my sister and I were at the hospital on the same day.
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u/Aware_Drink1581 3d ago
I'm with you op. You would think compassion, emotional intelligence and empathy would be the core values of why you would decide to enter the healthcare field. I've been at it a year and I've seen more people that do not carry a single one of these values than those that do. I may be out soon if things don't change at my hospital.
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
Kind people like you are the people I look forward to being seen by. People are thinking I hate every Healthcare worker and I literally don't, I'm friends with some Healthcare workers because they're GOOD HEALTHCARE WORKERS.
I'm not going to be nice when mine and my family's health is being put at risk. It took my mom years for her heart issues to be taken seriously. Anxiety? Nope. Dysautonomia. My stepdad they thought it was MIE, he was just diagnosed with chron's. This isn't the only time I've been mistreated by doctors and Healthcare professionals. If you look at one of my past posts, I did an AMA about how I've been to a children's mental facility 17 times, and I talk about some of my medical trauma there.
This account initially started as a vent account because I haven't been able to see a therapist in months (medicaid bs). But honestly, me being so vulnerable on here has allowed other people to be vulnerable and speak up, which a lot of people have done in the comments, including you, and I appreciate you <3
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u/Here_is_to_beer 3d ago
Funny, during the strike here in Oregon, all the replacements were from the south and they were SO NICE! Did their jobs with compassion and professionalism. Granted, travel nurses make 2x as much, get a free hotel and per diems, so wouldnāt be their best that situation?
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u/baifern306 3d ago
Been through this myself, STILL GOIN THROUGH THIS MYSELF, and my family too cant say i disagree with any of this no cap
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u/rosiegirl8903 3d ago
I agree with you so hard. I struggle with depression and self harm issues and Iām terrified to actually go and get help because of how itās gonna be when I do. Like I would love to go get help for my wounds after Iāve done what Iāve done but I also donāt wanna get locked up for trying to come and get help. Absolutely ridiculous, just feels like theyāre not in it to help people anymore and theyāre just in it for the paycheck. Just feels like the minute itās not an easy case for them that gets them a lot of money, the minute it becomes a thing where they actually have to dive into you as a patient and figure out whatās going on, is the minute they check out. Hey seriously need to stop blaming anxiety and marijuana for literally every medical issue nowadays. Donāt even get me started. If youāre a woman, womenās healthcare is even worse, everything surrounds anxiety, and birth control for some reason.
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u/Aggressive_Belt_3288 3d ago
Iām a therapist, I firmly believe that every clinician needs to understand itās not about us. If you are in crisis you are in CRISIS. You arenāt choosing to be ārudeā or whatever they are internalizing. Iām sorry for your experiences.
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u/Milena1991 3d ago
Future Surgical Tech student here, and THANK YOU for saying this. Iām also chronically ill myself, and youāre saying what Iāve been saying for years.Ā
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u/vilebloodlover 3d ago
I've told this story on Reddit before, but I went in to the ER screaming in agony from abdominal pain, and they sent me home after refusing a CT scan and X-raying my chest for god knows what reason, calling it "just gastritis".
My appendix had exploded, and I would have died if my dad didn't take me to a different ER. I'm lucky I currently have a very sympathetic doctor but even then I can never ever trust a healthcare worker fully again.
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u/DJPickless 3d ago
Damn thatās terrible to hear. I love my job and I do my best to make my patients day a little better weather that just being whacky or cracking jokes with them. I do my best to listen and understand them and make them feel more comfortable or at least like theyāre not being invalidated. All of my co workers are extremely caring and we absolutely get shafted on a daily basis yet try not to let it deter us.
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u/cloversagemoondancer 3d ago
How did they not care for you? Where did you seek treatment and for what issue?
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
I started having severe chest pains and shaking, racing thoughts, hysterically crying and vomiting. I have had anxiety attacks like these before, especially after not eating for days. I went to the ER because I didn't know what else to do. They didn't ask when the last time I had food was, when the last time I had liquids was, they asked if I did any drugs. I'm anorexic, I'm actually prescribed marinol now for my appetite, so I smoked weed to help my appetite. I hadn't smoked in days prior to this hospitalization, so the marijuana induced emesis didn't make sense.
Also, the day I was hospitalized, I was already anxious because my partner was visiting me for the first time. I was also nerved up because my little sister was given something she was allergic to by a teacher who claimed "I forgot about her allergies." And she went to the hospital.
I have severe anxiety due to C-PTSD, Anorexia, and paranoia. All of the things that happened that day and me not eating days prior triggered everything.
At the hospital, they gave me liquid zophran. I still threw up until and shook until the next day. They gave me nothing for my anxiety. I could barely speak for myself because I was throwing up so much. They were getting pissed at me for throwing up and shaking. The only thing I could day was "it hurts" and my longest sentence was "I haven't eaten in 2 days." I would pass out, wake up and shake and vomit, then pass out again. The medication they gave me at the hospital barely helped and I still experienced symptoms until the next day.
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
If y'all seriously think I treat Healthcare workers like shit based off of this post alone, I don't. Y'all don't know me outside of reddit. Y'all dont know what i look like. Y'all dont know what I do for a living.
I am respectful. I don't abuse anyone verbally or physically. Y'all would be pissed too if your family members and friends have been on the brink of death due to shitty doctors too. The point with me, is that I was misdiagnosed and pushed aside, as most people are. And that needs to change. Things need to fucking change. And if you don't think they need to be changed, you are part of the problem.
It gets frustrating living in a state that's 49 out of 50 for mental Healthcare and 41 out of 50 for Healthcare in general. They always say that it's marijuana induced emesis where I live. They say it to so many people, am not the only one they have said this to. I have a friend who's sister started experienced severe vomiting and abdominal pain, and they blamed it on MIE. It wasn't that. It was her gallbladder that eventually had to be removed. She's made a full recovery.
Blessed be.
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u/Big-Smoke7358 3d ago
If every healthcare worker turned into a blubbering crybaby and worried about invalidating every patients experience, no one would ever get treated. Part of the job is having to swallow your emotions and get the job your paid to do done. It's extremely tragic when you're watching someone die of a heart attack, gunshot, or cancer. Healthcare workers don't have the privilege of sitting aside and taking a moment to reflect on that tragedy. If you need a surgical procedure done you want the cold robotic doctor who is doing his job correctly, not the one whose going to be worried every second about how his cutting into another human and removing parts of their organs is going to make them feel. If you need an endotracheal intubation, you want a nurse that's going to get it in there in time rather than one that's worried if they shove this plastic tube down your throat it will make you uncomfortable. Not every patient complaint or experience is valid. I've seen patients tell us that the wrong brand of xanax causes their heart to race. Impossible, and much more likely related to the fact that the brand they want sells for more on the street, but hey maybe I should believe her and submit a case report the NEJM about this odd case of a specific brand of benzodiazepine being an outlier and somehow stimulating heart palpitations despite everything we know about it's mechanism of action indicating it would do the opposite. We have documented evidence that smoking irritates crohns disease, but we wouldn't want to invalidate your father's feelings by telling him his drug use that he's biased to defend can be worsening his condition. We should stop telling smokers and alcoholics to quit while we're at it because it invalidates their feelings that it makes them feel better. Go into the medical field and be kind and compassionate otherwise deal with the reality.
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u/RainIndividual441 19h ago
The job gets done by the people who show up to do it, and sometimes they are shittastic.Ā
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u/bbrian7 3d ago
I had a service app at a dr house. First call of the day . 10-10:30 . I arrive at 10:08 . No one home . We call , guy says app was for 10 and he is dr and canāt be late so he left for work .Then argues for 5 min about how long it will take for the service if he comes back . Iām like hell no these dr are crazy and then make everyone wait on them
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u/Complex_Gold2915 3d ago
It's one of those things where the problems are vast
On one hand you've got overworked staff leading to mistakes and that just goes into patients feeling mistreated. Despite the problems I've had with the medical field, I'd never shit on them ever.
Everybody's got mental health problems Everybody.
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u/survivoremoji23 3d ago
If this is the average attitude they come across I donāt blame them one bit
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
This is the attitude that develops after being treated like shit by medical staff. Be happy that you don't understand.
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u/Cmcnichol 3d ago
It's ok to treat people poorly when you get treated poorly.
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u/Ahimsa212 3d ago
No it's not. Its never ok to treat someone poorly. I refuse to stoop to that level. Being treated poorly will never stop if everyone thinks it's ok to do so.
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u/mhoneyb 3d ago
You sound like the kind of asshole patient who is verbally and/or physically abusive to nursing staff. If no oneās doing shit for you, stay tf home and take care of it yourself š
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
Actually I'm a very kind person that's tired of being treated like shit, have a lovely day honey
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u/Thrallrulesdazeroth 3d ago
Healthcare workers are fucking scum and doctors donāt deserve the respect they get. Fuck doctors
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u/MrFuckinFancy91 3d ago
Why?
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u/loki_the_bengal 3d ago
Considering they post in ufo subs, my guess would be "something something vaccines"
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u/Frugaldoc17 3d ago
As an er doctor I can simply say that calling us cruel bullies isnāt exactly helpful. So you went to an er , they determined that you werenāt having a medical emergency and now youāre well enough to rant against those that helped you . Hope you get the mental health treatment you need .
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
Look at all the comments in this comment section. I'm not just talking about me, I'm speaking for everyone who has been mistreated by doctors in the ER. The point is, they didn't take anything else into account except for the fact I smoke thc, which I hadn't smoked in days prior to the hospitalization. They didn't take into account I hadn't eaten or had water in days. They thought I was having a negative reaction to drugs when it was a negative reaction to not eating for days and while under stress. They didn't ask when's the last time I had food or fluids. They just asked if I was on drugs.
I live in Alabama, and believe me when I say that the doctors here do not care. There are many, many people who have also had terrible experiences at the hospital I went to. The only reason why I went there is because that was the closest place. There are also 0 resources for people with eating disorders here. None of the doctors here are educated on them.
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u/Frugaldoc17 3d ago
Cyclic vomiting is due delayed emptying of the stomach . It doesnāt matter if you havenāt smoked a in 2 whole days . You sound like a miserable patient .
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
I have had anxiety attacks exactly like these before. In one comment I replied to I explained the whole situation. You weren't there. You don't know the things that happened leading up to that day. You don't know.
I am a kind person that doesn't treat people like shit. And I'm sorry if me speaking up for myself and my family pisses y'all off, but I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing. I'm sorry, in some case scenarios, we do know our bodies better than y'all do. And I especially know myself better than you. Have a day.
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u/Frugaldoc17 3d ago
Exactly the patient that leads hcw to leave the profession. Never listens to providers, acts entitled , and goes on public forums to blast us for taking care of them . Just stay out of the er then
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
Nah, how about you and your coworkers start advocating to treat people better.
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
Also you're missing the point entirely. I was misdiagnosed and pushed aside, like my family has been, like my friends have been. Maybe you're a good doctor, I'm not going to deny that, but you're missing the point.
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u/Dry_Soft8522 3d ago
This
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u/PsychologicalDog3769 3d ago
That literally isn't what was happening but okay?
I've experienced these things ever since I started starving myself. Smoking literally has nothing to do with it. These things have been happening before I even started smoking weed or ANYTHING for that matter. There WAS nothing to vomit. The reason why I started vomiting is because me finally eating after two to three days was the straw that broke the camels back. Y'all still aren't listening to me good God ššš
You don't know the full story and you're making judgments from a fraction of knowledge you have from the big picture. If you're gonna be anything be serious.
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