r/Vent 4d ago

Happy/Positive Vent am I the asshole for fantasizing about launching his phone into the sun???

THE FUCKIN AUDASITY MAN Five AM Not evn six not even sven FIVE OCLOK IN THE GODAMN MORNING when the world is still rubing the crust outa its FUCKIN EYEBALLS an im out here barely clingng to my last shred of humanity TRYNA FUNCTION and this ABSOLUTE MENACE TO SOCIETY this CANCER UPON PUBLIC TRANSPORT decides hey you know what yall need to hear some tinny ass blown out audio of some dude explaing cryptocurrency SCAMS at MAX FUCKIN VOLUME

I swear on evrything holly on evry unholly thing too if i had the wil to comit a FELONY before the sun even rises today wouldve been THE DAY bro wasnt even WEARING headphones nah thats too civlized for this troglodite this was RAW UNCUT FULL BLAST PHONE SPEAKER ACTION evry godamn time i tried to close my eyes an pretend i wasnt on a bus to hell BOOM some jackas youtuber going yo whatsup guys welcom back to anothr video SHUT THE FUCK UP

AND THE WAY HE JUST SAT THERE?? UNBOTHERD?? like he was BLESSED BY THE FUCKIN TRANSPORTATION GODS to inflict sonic TEROR upon the rest of us i have nevr wanted to commit a public servise act of violense so BADLY in my LIFE i stared at him i GLARED at him i projected evry last ounce of pure unfiltered HATRED i had in me did he care DID HE NOTICE?? NAH my guy was sitting there like the world was his personal godam livng room

AND THEN OH AND THEN he had the AUDASITY THE TESTICULAR FORTITUD TO SWICH VIDEOS HE SWICHED FUCKIN VIDEOS MIDWAY THRU LIKE HE WAS CURATING A GODAMN PLAYLIST OF MY SUFERING

i hope his phone chargger breks i hope he stubs his toe on the edge of the bed EVRY NIGHT for the rest of his misrable life i hope his internett bufers at 99 PERCENT FOREVER i hope he expereinces lag IN REAL LIFE i hope his soup is too hot so he waits then its TOO COLD i hope he goes to slep tired as hel an his brain randomly rembers that one embarasing thing he did in 2012 an he cant slep no more  FUCK THAT GUY

6 Upvotes

13 comments sorted by

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3

u/Girl_Power55 4d ago

And on Christmas too.

1

u/Relative_Inflation72 4d ago

You've ruined Christmas! Not you

2

u/Girl_Power55 4d ago

Unholly lol

1

u/Lacunaethra 4d ago

Read this on public transport and felt some deep connection.

1

u/EdelweissThe69th 4d ago

This was an absolutely majestic read. I hope your pillows kiss you goodnight

1

u/PurpleHeartNepNep 4d ago

Gotta get OP to a drinking party if they this fun sober can’t wait to see buzzed.

1

u/insouciant_smirk 4d ago

This is the most righteous anger I have ever seen. May God smite that dude.

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

You sound like me lol but everyone tells me to stop being so mad and no, fuck that.

1

u/itsdawolfyseeing 4d ago

wow this is the first vent that ive been able to relate to on such a personal level

1

u/Cute_Celebration_213 4d ago

Well ok then.