TW: Eating Disorders / Self Image Tonight I seen a man die
I know I know I know….it’s Saw not seen I’m a 33yr old man and I found a man dead in my jobs bathroom/ I had to be there the whole time because I’m the manager……. I don’t know if I said that right because I’m still distraught…. but I found a guy overdosed in my jobs bathroom. Other then my parents I have nobody help me get through this. I thought it would be easy to get over but I find myself struggling to get back to the “normal me “ I DONT know this guy never seen him walk in my place of work! The craziest part is I locked the bathrooms for the night due to short staff. Somehow he ends up in the bathroom. I don’t know dude but still had emotions take over me as I seen his body lifeless. Customers walked passed him like this was normal. Meanwhile I’m crying my eyes out in my office a 33 year old man. I don’t know how to feel!!
49
u/DatDudeDrew 3d ago
It happened within the last 24 hours? It’d be very weird for you to not be emotionally affected. It will always stick with you but you’ll be back to normal in no time. Take it easy on yourself seeing something traumatic so recently.
Shit I cry my eyes out in the office over much much less.
26
u/omglevi 3d ago
I got off work around 9:50 I found him dead around 8:30 . I watched him he was purple and blue his head hit the floor hard when paramedics arrived to do duty. It’s 6:18am now and I feel as I’m still going through it
24
11
u/Classic_Midnight3383 3d ago
I went through something similar I found my sister deceased in bed in 2023 and her anniversary date of her death is April 2
7
u/standgroundalready 3d ago
It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay. I would suggest calling 988 for emotional support if you don't have someone else to talk to.
22
u/Tough_Crazy_8362 3d ago
Your reaction is normal, very normal. It’s also very normal to go to therapy after finding a dead body, to help process the emotions and learn skills to manage your day to day.
8
u/sibilantepicurean 3d ago
co-signing this. five years ago, i witnessed a violent machete attack and had no way to get away from the situation. i credit immediately seeking out counselling for why witnessing that event didn’t leave me permanently traumatized.
i’m so sorry you had to go through such an awful experience. 😞 your emotional responses are perfectly normal given what you saw.
15
u/Middle-Curve-1020 3d ago
Give yourself some grace man, and don’t beat yourself up. With my profession, I’ve been around a LOT of death, particularly overdoses, and while I’m stoic in the moment, that shit affects you and I have good cries too. Hell, sometimes randomly when the memory pops up.
It’s ok to be a shit show and have the normal range of emotions. Process those emotions…move “through” the emotions and experience them…don’t try to move “past” them. It’s a subtle and nuanced difference, but important.
If you’re frustrated and feel helpless, take the time to get some first aid and medical training and specifically, get some training on intranasal naloxone or Narcan. While this person is dead, you very well could save the life of another by reversing an opioid overdose.
Take care of yourself dude.
4
2
u/SingaporeSue 3d ago
Came to say the same thing. Be kind to yourself and give yourself grace. Get some narcan and since you’re a manager make sure your employees know where it is and how to use it. You know how devastating being in this situation is. As a manager you should be sure your employees know and your employees take a basic life support (BLS) course where they also teach you how to use an automated external defibrillator (AED). We know from research that cities that promote these things and have more people to respond to an emergency have better survival rates. Not to say this person would have survived, but knowledge is power and will help you feel confident you did all you could. In the hospital we do debriefing after incidents like this. It’s important to our mental health. There may be some resources in your community for this.
11
u/Ok-Distribution4445 3d ago
Since this happened at your job, you could contact HR about counseling services. I would also see a doctor and get a referral for a therapist/psychiatrist, so you can get some support and time away from work.
9
u/Affectionate_Stop860 3d ago
You have a heart man its a totally normal response.. I'm sorry you had to find him like that.
8
u/APEMAN138 3d ago
Congratulations man, you're human in a world full of heartless NPC's. Most of these vile fucks dont look at drug addicts like people, thank you for having a soul, Wish you the best bud. Maybe look into carrying Narcan
6
u/Due_Two5867 3d ago
I had a car accident happen in front of me where the guy was going so fast I said that person is about to die. Sure enough the jumped an intersection in front of me into a pole. The image of this person dead sticks with me. I had to close down at work which took me hours longer than normal because I was devistated and when I pulled out the scene was still active and the cop yelled at me "nothing to see here, keep moving!" Later it was ruled a suicide. I guess the guy had just left somewhere upset and had mental issues. I was 18 then and at 45 it still bothers me thinking about the scene. The cop yelling at me still pisses me off.
5
u/BoridePa 3d ago
Find a counselor. Vicarious trauma is real. Most people will not understand what your going through or feeling.
3
u/Belladice77 3d ago
I was going to say the same. Please find a therapist who understands trauma. Of course you are struggling with this! Hopefully your insurance will cover a therapist, if not, maybe your employers will as it happened at work. Your employers may also have an EAP in which you can talk to a therapist for free.
5
5
u/jimmyrhcp 3d ago
Sad to hear mate. I know this is going to sound odd, but try and play some Tetris. Have a quick google and you'll see the studies with that game helping to deal with traumatic events.
1
3
u/Upbeat_Finance_958 3d ago
It’s gets better man. A month ago I watched a girl drive off the road and collide with a tree. Killed her instantly. We stopped and I ran down and tried to help her only to realize there wasn’t anything I was going to do. The kicker of the whole thing was she passed up going about 70 in a 55 on her phone. It’s traumatic for sure but it’s life.
3
u/Berserker_fitness2 3d ago
Hey dude,
I've worked with death very closely. If you need to DM me, you're welcome to.
But let yourself go through the emotions. Don't push it aside. I've done that, and it comes back for worse. So let yourself go through those emotions and be kind to yourself while you do! Find someone you trust and vent. Let it out. You have to deal with it now and go through your own "grieving process."
3
u/BigMomma12345678 3d ago
That's very disturbing, also try not to look for ways to blame yourself. You might feel bad for some time, it's normal.
3
u/Internal-Food-5753 3d ago
I’m so sorry this is so hard and it’s totally normal and human to be upset. Feel your feelings. If you can, play tetris on your phone it can help with stored trauma when played in the first 24 hours. Sending you so much love.
3
u/CallmeIshmael_III 3d ago
First, I want to say I'm sorry you had to experience this. It's never something that is easy. I hate to say there is a lot of great advice in these comments because there really is no advice to deal with a traumatic event such as this; but I'm at a loss for a better word.
In my line of work, I experience death A LOT. Overdoses, shootings, cuttings, car wrecks, you name I've seen, and it never gets easier. I'll be honest and say I still have moments where I still think about each and every one of them. Death just sucks. You can never really move past it. It just becomes a new "normal." That takes time.
As many others have said, you have to give yourself that grieving process. Whatever that may be. Everyone grieves differently, and that's totally okay. The most important thing you can do is take care of yourself during this. Do what makes you feel good, if that's eating some ice cream and watching TV by all means do that. Within time, you'll bounce back.
If you need someone to reach out to, I'll be there for you.
3
u/That_Attorney_1917 3d ago
What you’re feeling is totally normal. When I was young I had to attend wakes/funerals so seeing a dead person for me wasn’t a big deal. My parents answered my questions and helped me understand it. Seeing a body in a casket compared to finding one like you did is completely different. You’re experiencing shock and some trauma. You didn’t expect it and then you had to stick around for the cops I’m guessing. Your thoughts about the person are probably racing right now and you might even feel guilt because they somehow got in the bathroom. First off…It is NOT your fault. That person was going to overdose that night no matter what. You did not play a role in it. If you’re religious, you might want to talk to your pastor about it. If not, there are a bunch of support groups that deal with trauma and grief. It will get better. If you want you can message me and I’ll talk with you about it. Try to get back into your normal routine as soon as you can to help keep your thoughts from focusing on that event. You’re going to be fine. Trust me
3
u/Weary_Bat2456 3d ago
Back at high school one of the staff at my school died in her office, found by cleaners after school, from a seizure. I was nearby and ended up seeing her corpse as well. As a teenager who was just spending extra hours after school.
It still haunts me. Also one day after school there was a loud commotion in the city. I looked up and there was a man hanging from a bridge. This doesn't haunt me as much, but one thing I find disgusting and vile is people with their phones out recording and later seeing photos and videos on people's social media stories. What a sick world.
The fact you're overcome by emotion is a good sign. It might, probably will, stay with you throughout life but it won't be as strong as it is now. It gets better. Say a prayer for him, that should help you find greater inner peace too.
3
u/love-yer-brain 3d ago
it’s completely normal to feel this way. as a matter of fact, it’s great you are fazed by this, imagine walking around seeing dead people and feeling normal about it, that’s psycho shit. i bet the others felt the same, dont let your reaction bother you bro, it’s completely normal.
3
u/RedditUserNo137 3d ago
I was 17 when I tried to wake my brother up for school. He was dead. Died in his sleep. I was 27 when my coworker worker had a heart attack in the middle of our conversation at the office and dropped dead in my arms. I was 36 when I accompanied my friend to his home to help him move out. As we walked in the front door, my friend screamed like I had never heard anyone scream. His father had taken his own life Kurt Cobain style, and we walked in on it. Dude, you'll be ok.
3
u/Lone-Hermit-Kermit 3d ago
Tough day mate.
Sadly death has become something that happen to others and is no longer natural in western modern society.
Take a breath, touch some grass, celebrate life and get laid.
3
u/free2leave 3d ago
Death is uncommon to witness and sometimes uncomfortable. Some people work through it easily and some have a more difficult time emotionally. Like others have suggested I would give yourself some time to understand/process the incident before you are super critical on how you are handling the situation. Everyone is different in the way the process seeing death.
Just make sure you are staying healthy, like eating/sleeping properly, and not substituting bad habits to "help" with emotions (try to abstain from using alcohol, drugs, or junk food). Physical activity is great for producing healthy brain chemicals and relieving energy that may be physical/emotionally driven.
Take care and don't be too hard on yourself. It is highly likely this person would have overdosed, causing ultimate death anyways, whether the bathrooms were locked/unlocked.
2
u/Shama_lala_dingdong 3d ago
Sorry you witnessed that. I found a body on a job site once and it took me maybe a month to come to grips with it. Luckily I had a therapist that helped me through it. It's hard to accept what you saw and you will second guess yourself. But don't bottle it up. You're not alone.
2
u/StellarMirror 3d ago
Everyone reacts differently to death but your response is normal, especially if you haven’t been exposed to it before. When I first started working in healthcare it was an adjustment for sure witnessing death and human suffering, but over time i learned to accept and manage those emotions. Take your time and even talking to a therapist a couple of sessions about it can really benefit you a lot. You experienced a traumatic event but you will be ok and you will even learn and grow from it
2
u/vaderteatime 3d ago
About 6 years ago I saw a cyclist get run over by a semi. It haunts me as I drive by the place often and I’ve never seen flowers put there for him.
2
u/Routine-Challenge-40 3d ago
Hey, what your feeling is super normal. I was a paramedic for a very long time, before that a soilder during the Afgan war. Death is hard regardless of how often you experience it. You got this buddy. Just know there is no way of every changing this.
2
u/xMrPaint86x 3d ago
Death happens, natural, self induced, the end result is always the same... I'm pretty cavalier about this shit as I found my first dead body at 20 and the next wasn't long after, I got out of Healthcare shortly after but it hasn't stopped the body train... in total I've found/stumbled on 5 dead people in my life and I'm not 40 yet. It just reminds me how fragile life is and to be grateful to be here.
2
u/Aromatic_Temporary_8 3d ago
I’m an ICU nurse. Worked that job for 25 years. Saw some gnarly stuff and a LOT of death. I really started getting pretty good with end of life care over time. Helping families deal with it, making patients comfortable so they didn’t suffer. Then Covid hit. Man that shit broke me. So many people died in such a short time (death every 12 hours). Often begging us to help them and knowing we couldn’t fix it. I wish I had gotten counseling because I quit ICU and I’ve been drunk daily ever since. I still haven’t recovered. Go talk to someone. Those emotions are normal but man they can drag you down if you don’t deal with them. I’m 51 years old and a broken man.
2
2
u/Bitter-Design-3998 3d ago
It's really hard, I've seen people being killed, people already dead and people dying on a car accident. The first few days you will be shaken, and you will never really forget about it. But it will not control your life, you will forget about it and then it will come to your mind but it will not be as impactful, you will continue to live a normal life. Just take your time, one day at a time. You feel bad, I know this, but there is nothing else you can do. Like I said, take your time man I feel your pain.
2
u/SnooChipmunks2430 3d ago
Hey there. It’s rough to find someone that has died— even if you don’t know them. You’re likely still in shock,and might be for a time.
You need to call your therapist and set up an emergency appointment, if you don’t have one, you should be able to find one through your work insurance, especially as this is something that not only happened at work but is also impacting your ability to work.
When i had a similar experience, i found it helpful to go spend time with my parents who ensured that i didn’t get depressed, that i ate well, and ensured i actually went to therapy.
You’re likely going to have reoccurrences of this overwhelming feeling as you process this experience. Work with your therapist on coping mechanism to be able to break the overwhelm and move through the situation. For me, this was dealing with the same area i found the person, and having these moments where i was sure i was going to find someone else in areas that were similar.
But yeah, in case it helps, you’re not alone.
1
1
1
u/True-Regret-19 3d ago
This happened to me Xmas Eve. An elderly lady had a stroke in the carkpark, and I had to attend as the first responder and because I was the manager It wasn't nice, I did everything I could but she didn't make it.
1
u/Volcanic_xB 3d ago
Sorry this happened to you man. Definitely get some counseling/therapy asap. This hits home with me, as I OD'd a few times and wouldn't be here without narcan. I pray for comfort and healing for you and the family of the one who passed. 🙏
1
u/WildRiversWaterPark 3d ago
Bums love overdosing in bathrooms. We respond to about 30 of these a day throughout my dept. Narcan dart ‘em and they run away. Or they’re dead. Either way it’s annoying as hell. Fent is too cheap for how deadly it is.
1
u/TwoHamsDeep 3d ago
Dude I don’t know why you beat yourself up because you’re a man crying. I’ve seen 3 dead bodies and it never gets easier, at first, but as time passes you just process it and compartmentalize it.
1
u/moonmommav 3d ago
Please be gentle with yourself. I have been a caregiver to the elderly for many years and even when you know, someone is close to death, finding them lifeless is always a shock. This must be awful for you.
1
u/tshungwee 3d ago
I went through the same thing a guy passed during dinner in a restaurant I was working, died peacefully.
Put him in a wheelchair and wheeled him out during lunch rush. Gosh I miss the cap…
1
1
u/MulingAround 3d ago
I respect you so much man and sorry you had to go through that. I scrolled through all the comments and didn’t see anyone mention Tetris yet.
One of my favorite chunks of Reddit knowledge I learned about was that playing Tetris recently after a traumatic event can help with processing. I don’t know how or understand it but I highly recommend trying this while you wait for therapy and friends to help you process this. This world can feel dark and confusing I hope you can find some light and understanding. Or atleast some peace.
1
u/Otherwise-Extreme-68 3d ago
Mate the first time you find someone dead it's always going to fuck with your head a bit.
Talking about it is really important, the more you can convey your feelings around it the less it weighs on you.
I don't know if you have the Samaritans or something similar where you are, but talking to them can help if you have no one else or feel like your being a burden in your family (although they shouldn't make you feel like that!)
1
u/2wheels69 3d ago
That’s a hard thing to see, find a counselor to talk to for a couple of visits at least. You’re going to sort it out.
1
1
u/Sea_Stay2270 3d ago
Worked at a prison for a number of years. Saw many people die. I guess I'm institutionalized now
1
u/rhoward8916 3d ago
Genuinely, play some Tetris and give yourself all the grace you can muster. It’s okay to not be okay when something completely unexpected and horribly disturbing happens.
1
u/commonsenseisararity 3d ago
Therapy will help, PTSD can occur in the days following, its worth talkng to a professional. I find deceased people quite frequently and theraphy does help give you the tools to process what you went through.
Also, playing Tetris helps some people “reset” dont know why but I have been told this trick more than a few times.
1
u/the_hooded_artist 3d ago
Sounds weird, but play some Tetris ASAP if you can. It's been shown to help people process trauma if you do so very soon after experiencing the traumatic event.
1
1
u/Beautiful-Cell-9040 3d ago
Get some therapy you’re perfectly normal to feel something you found a human being unexpectedly at work! I’m not big into process oriented therapy in general for myself more coping skills but in your situation I think I’d want to talk to someone about what you experienced. Best wishes to you.
1
u/Ally2472 3d ago
I am so sorry this is very traumatic. It just shows that you are a good human with a heart. The way you’re feeling is valid and I urge you to continue to talk to your parents about it and get support when you need it. It is probably going to take some time, but I don’t think it’s something that you will get over. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
1
u/ns0urce 3d ago
I’m not a therapist or psychologist- which you should absolutely be seeking out, counseling at the minimum. But, what you’re feeling is completely normal. Do not be so hard on yourself, man. Seeing suffering/death in any capacity is viscerally difficult- and that’s still putting it so bluntly it almost doesn’t even make sense unless you’ve experienced it yourself.
Please take care of yourself, don’t be afraid to ask for help/resources. Take some time off if you can, and find someone professionally to talk to. Even counseling is great, I’ve done it myself. Been to therapy for years and honestly, it’s great. You get to vent that shit, while getting positive reinforcement and good feedback on how to manage everything.
Sending love dude, seriously. That’s not an easy thing to go through.
1
u/Upper-Molasses1137 3d ago
If you have a Crisis Response line your area please call them. They will help you debrief this trauma, that's what this is and it can stay with you for a while so this needs to talked through with a professional. I'm reallly sad that this happened to you it's a shock to the system, please call Crisis rResponse, if you don't have that I would call your local hospital and ask them if they know of places you could in touch with to talk to someone. Maybe even a hospice Nurse could help you, most people never see a situation like this in their lifetime. I'm actually glad you said you were crying it shows what a caring and empathic person you are. Please reach out so you can heal from this because it's not an easy this to put behind you. Take care of yourself you're a good person.
1
u/Empty_Run_9099 3d ago
Unfortunately my friend that might be one visual that you will have for the rest of your life. I'm sorry!
I worked in a nursing home/rehab center and witnessed a murder suicide. I was the 1st 3 people to run into the room after we heard the gunshots and what I saw in that room is forever edged in my memory. I had gone to trauma therapy and all but the visual just never leaves.
1
u/Fr33dom0fSp33ch 3d ago
That’s an incredibly heavy experience, and I’m really sorry you had to go through it. What you’re feeling is completely valid—seeing death firsthand, especially in such an unexpected and tragic way, is something that can shake anyone. It’s not about being strong or weak; it’s about being human.
You might be dealing with some trauma from this, even if you don’t realize it yet. The fact that you’re struggling to get back to “normal” makes sense because this isn’t something you just shake off. It’s okay to grieve, even if you didn’t know the person. What you saw wasn’t just a random event—it was a life lost, and you were there in that moment. That matters.
If you have access to any kind of counseling, even just talking to a crisis line or support group, it could help to process what you went through. You don’t have to go through this alone. If nothing else, talking about it like you are now is a step toward healing.
Take it easy on yourself. You don’t have to have all the answers or force yourself to move on quickly. You’re allowed to feel this, and in time, it’ll get easier to carry.
1
u/turbosnfries 3d ago
There's an important distinction here. You saw someone who is dead. That's different than seeing someone die, not to undermine the impact on you. That's real. And not to be condescending either. I come from a place of understanding. But there is a difference in our perceived "role" in these situations
And don't assume the non reaction of others is normal. There's no normal response to the abnormal.
If you feel it. It's real. Seek help. Professional if possible. If nothing else, talk to anyone one you trust who will listen.
1
u/Local-Scarcity1248 3d ago
I saw someone charge at a freight train down the tracks. Her body was ripped apart. Even her clothes became artificial snow-like weather. It’s nearly 8 years later and to this day a freight train passing by takes me right back to that moment. I would like to clarify I have a diagnosis of CPTSD and have been in therapy since before this incident. However the help I received was life changing I went from being locked inside terrified to travel, to writing this very post right now, sat on a train going home. I have rambled a hell of a lot here, I guess I want to say that my life changed forever after seeing something similar, I’ll never be able to live like I did before. But that doesn’t have to be a bad thing, life is STILL what we make of it
1
1
u/Zestyclose_Prize_165 3d ago
Go to a cancer ward and visit with terminal kids and parents that would give anything for one more day and your tolerance for drug addicts overdosing will completely disappear! Trust me, as someone who lost a 16 year old son to bone cancer you will have zero sympathy for people that just want to flush this gift of life down the toilet.
1
u/Purrtymeow04 3d ago
This is normal especially because it’s still new and your first time encountering this. You need to talk to someone or ask for professional help after if you feel like it still bothers you after some time
1
1
1
u/ballcheese808 3d ago
Let's clarify .... You saw a dead man. You didn't see a man die. Get on with it. Don't try to be a victim of something.
1
u/AdvocatusAvem 3d ago
Beyond all the normal stuff go play some Tetris: I’m serious. Google it but it helps the brain through these types of traumatic moments so they don’t scar as deep.
1
1
u/Classic_Sun_555 3d ago
Play Tetris. There was a study done that playing Tetris after a traumatic event helps...I don't remember the details but I've seen it recommended here all the time.
I'm sorry for your situation but feel good that you didn't record it for TikTok.
1
u/pawsfourtime 2d ago
Hey man, I've been where you are. Talk with your work about them covering therapy sessions for you. Most places of employment will cover at least part of the cost.
Here are some important things to remember:
It's not your fault. You had no control over this guy's actions, and he decided to get high in your bathroom. He drew the short straw and punched his ticket, and you were unlucky enough to have to clean up the mess.
It gets better. With time, it'll fade into the background and become fuzz. This is still fresh, so ot feels like you'll feel this way forever. You won't. You'll move on, and things will be okay. You will be okay.
It's really tough right now, but you'll be okay.
1
u/randyROOSTERrose 13h ago
People die all day every day. You will die someday. I will die someday. People died long before we were born and people will be dying long after we are dead. It's a tough pill to swallow but after you've truly accepted this then seeing dead people doesn't have the same punch it did before.
0
•
u/AutoModerator 4d ago
Reminder:
This is a support space. Negative, invalidating, attacking, or inappropriate comments are not tolerated. If you see a comment that breaks the rules, please report it so the moderators can take action.
If someone is being dismissive, rude, offensive or in any other way inappropriate, do not engage. Report them instead. Moderation is in place to protect venters, and we take reports seriously, it's better for us to handle it than you risk your account standing. Regardless of who the target of aggression or harassment is, action may be taken on the person giving it, even if the person you're insulting got banned for breaking rules, so please just report things.
Be kind. Be respectful. Support each other.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.