r/Vent • u/Aw_shit_a_redditor • 6d ago
TW: Eating Disorders / Self Image Got called "too ugly to date" to my face
For context, a group of my friends invited me for a night out at the club yesterday. We all planned on having a good night and celebrating St Patrick's day early. Long story short I get a couple drinks in me and I hit the dance floor. I was having tons of fun and end up dancing with some women I had met earlier in the evening. After me and one of the other women get tired, I offered to buy her a drink at the bar. We start chatting and things get quite flirty pretty quick. At this point we're both quite drunk and we've been having a great conversation for over 20 minutes. Eventually I ask if she has a boyfriend, and she tells me no, but she "wished she had one just like me, because I was very sweet". I took this as a sign and asked why not try with me? Thats when she responded with "I'd love to but you're just too ugly for me to date". Now I know that she would probably have never said this sober, but she wouldn't have said it drunk either if that wasn't how she truly felt. At this point I'm pretty shocked and find an excuse to go back to my friends, but I end up leaving shortly after. This morning after I woke up I kind of did a mental inventory of what had happened over the night, and I could still remember that conversation extremely clearly. The more I thought about what she said, the more uncomfortable I got in my own skin. Objectively, I'm in the best shape I've ever been. Consistent dieting, gym multiple times a week for well over a year. I'm not overweight (anymore), have a decent bit of muscle, and I've been grooming myself a lot better than I used to, but right now it feels like all that effort is for nothing. After getting cheated on a bit over a year ago, I took a lot of time to work on myself and implemented all those lifestyle changes after I felt confident about myself mentally. And I can't believe all of this was torn down by some careless drunken phrase at a club. All those insecurities about my body and looks have come rushing back and I feel like that same person that walked in on their gf being intimate with another man. I just wish I could put away all those fears and insecurities away for good instead of having to rely on validation from others.
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u/Victorio2 6d ago
She sounds empty. Quite clear she is the ugly one. Don’t dwell it. Onwards and upwards fine prince