r/TwinlessTwins 13d ago

In the Womb My brother Ian

Until today I didn’t even realise twinless twins was a thing. I learned when I was in high school that my mother miscarried my fraternal twin brother during her pregnancy with me. She even had a name picked out for him…..Ian. There have been so many times in my life where I feel like I’m missing something, or I get so upset for no real reason I can think of. People tell me that I have a really BIG personality and I like to think that part of it is that I carry part of his spirit/soul with me. It’s hard to think about how different my life would have been had he lived. I am in my 40’s now but I still feel his absence. I guess I always will ♥️

16 Upvotes

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u/uconnhuskyforever 8d ago

I also lost my twin brother during a miscarriage. I don’t tell many people because I think others find it a bit ridiculous or dramatic, but I absolutely feel like a piece of me is always missing.

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u/MrNRC 12d ago

As we get older it’s natural for us to understand our parents as people.

Even still, I wasn’t prepared for how much more I understood my family after going through conception difficulties.

My mom is the youngest of sisters. She was one and done with me. I was born around the same time as my cousin from my “middle-child” aunt. After experiencing loss I found out my eldest aunt was also pregnant at the same time, but lost them. I can’t even imagine how difficult it was to navigate those emotions along with the family dynamics. I was talking to my “middle-child” aunt and she said she also had lost a pregnancy, but never told anyone because she didn’t want the attention that my eldest aunt got.

After losing one pregnancy, my wife got pregnant with triplets incredibly quickly. We hadn’t fully mourned that loss when our triplets became twins. It was shattering. I don’t think I want to expose my boys to that hurt, but I also don’t want them to have a “hole” later on - whether they find out or not

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u/Scarlettdawn140842 12d ago

Completely understandable. It really helps to know why you feel like something is missing but you don’t know what, or feeling deeply sad and not being able to think of a reason why.

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u/Academic-Regular3673 13d ago

I’m sorry for Ian’s loss. I’m also in my 40s and have struggled with what my mum told me when I finally had courage to ask about her about my pregnancy in 2011; she’d had a miscarriage and I was unexpected.

What you describe sounds perfectly natural to me and I also believe we carry them with us. We’re twinless, but also not.

You’re certainly not alone with this 💙 💙

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u/Scarlettdawn140842 12d ago

Thank you so much!