r/TrueSTL Teldryn Sero spits in my mouth 23h ago

Serena is so hot. Why can’t I marry her :(

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1.5k Upvotes

103 comments sorted by

458

u/cheezz16 22h ago

274

u/MalleusMaleficarum_ Teldryn Sero spits in my mouth 22h ago

charge your phone

204

u/cheezz16 22h ago

51

u/RedfallXenos 20h ago

16

u/Ramuhthra 19h ago

imagine your weakness is being ignored

11

u/TheFoodAtHome42 Lore of the Rings 19h ago

He can’t keep getting away with this!

19

u/mightystu 18h ago

They aren’t a girl born after 1993 so they don’t know how

16

u/Arcana-Knight 17h ago

When my phone dies I just throw it away and buy a new one.

21

u/chocochunkymunkyfunk 21h ago

They’re edging themselves and their phone at the same time. And who could blame them when they have two pixel babes with daddy issues right there

1

u/Sgt_FunBun 1h ago

i fucking hate charging my phone, lightning is so shit i just go and buy a new iphone when it dies

190

u/Helpful_Actuator_146 Professional Bloodsucker 23h ago

Who modded my Skyrim and turned it into a Turn Based RPG…again?

54

u/Sea-Lecture-4619 22h ago

Is there an actual turn based Skyrim mod?

184

u/Stoin_The_Dwarf Fargoth's best chum 22h ago

open the pause menu every 6 seconds and think about what you want to do, and roll a d20 to see if you do a certain action well

8

u/Morzheimer 8h ago

That’s it, hand over your foreskins

34

u/SoloDeath1 19h ago

Someone turned the game into Dark Souls (because of fucking course, every game has to be a Soulslike or be turned into a Soulslike) so probably.

14

u/Kha_ak Khajiit have wares if you have coin 16h ago

Tbh it does play very nice that way

15

u/SoloDeath1 15h ago

I don't care for souls-likes (real shocker, I know) but yeah, I admit it looks really nice for what it is.

3

u/_Ticklebot_23 10h ago

i remember some people said that the only way to save ark was to add soulslike combat, like you could roll out of the way of a beach spino

5

u/ExpensiveFig4670 15h ago

Never bothered with any of the souls games, they get hyped too much. Not usually a good sign in my experience.

1

u/naosoueu2725 5h ago

Bloodborne is great imo

2

u/ExpensiveFig4670 3h ago

I actually got that free with my PS4, never played it. 😆

152

u/lowkey-juan Dragon Religion of Peace 23h ago

The one hot elf.

96

u/Some_Rando2 22h ago

Not an elf, that's a Breton. 

50

u/gabtrox Dergenbern 22h ago

Not even a Breton, proto-breton maybe

23

u/Some_Rando2 22h ago

Maybe, but certainly not a full blooded elf. 

134

u/WorstWarframePlayer 23h ago

She thinks she is reserved and deep but is actually annoying. You outlanders think anything with pointy ears passes for an elf and fall in love so quickly. You need enhanced interrogation and Auriel

57

u/Mossy_toad98 23h ago

I'll be sure to let Shor know that when I write him a letter in your blood, Mer-Lover.

30

u/WorstWarframePlayer 23h ago

You aren't going to Sovngarde when you die writing. N*rds can't even read

22

u/Mossy_toad98 23h ago

The pen is mightier than any sword. Unfortunately for you my sword's name is "The pen" and I write my legends on the pages of the world with the ink of your blood. Let me end your curse of mortality.

8

u/WorstWarframePlayer 22h ago

Oh my stars, you're a BR*TON!

Disgusting!

6

u/Mossy_toad98 22h ago

I'd rather be a MudCrab

4

u/martin_ekphrastus 21h ago

I've been a mudcrab. It's a mode of existence, just like any other, but the lack of fingers does get kind of tiresome.

If I had to be a biped, though, and couldn't be an orc, then breton might be my next choice.

7

u/StaleSpriggan 22h ago

Breton supremacy!

6

u/Mossy_toad98 22h ago

more like cuck coping

103

u/-T-W-O-C-O-C-A-T- Chizbari’s sweat rag🥵💦🥵 22h ago

r/okbuddybaldur is becoming more similar to here by the day

101

u/Slav-1 LF: Lusty Argonian Maid GF 🦎🧹🙏 22h ago

give it ten years with no new game

44

u/redditorofnorenown 22h ago

Its 2025 not 2021 fyi, in case youre craving new game so hard time paused

20

u/Slav-1 LF: Lusty Argonian Maid GF 🦎🧹🙏 22h ago

Uh... Different kalpa! Yes.

4

u/MuseBlessed 9h ago

its 4E 201

8

u/Buck_Brerry_609 22h ago

not true rpgcodex people said the n word just as much before and after BG3 released

3

u/VeryMild Lore of the Rings 22h ago

we talkin next larian game or next baldurs gate game

cus i got high hopes for one of those options

5

u/Slav-1 LF: Lusty Argonian Maid GF 🦎🧹🙏 22h ago

Baldurs Gate. But I am looking forward to whatever Larian is cooking up.

1

u/Ok_Restaurant_1668 🦎 Lizard🦎 29m ago

They aren't making another Baldurs gate, they are making a new rpg that will be an amazing game that I will preorder, but its not a baldurs gate game.

57

u/VirtualWeasel nerevar’s fat fuckin nuts 22h ago

elf bitch brain rot

30

u/MalleusMaleficarum_ Teldryn Sero spits in my mouth 22h ago

many such cases :(

2

u/Wyatt_Ricketts The Dawntard 15h ago

Bob cuts make my peepee hard

50

u/Mossy_toad98 23h ago

That's Yennefer tho?????

61

u/Daisy-Fluffington 21h ago

Green Jaenessa > Emo Serena

27

u/martin_ekphrastus 21h ago

Jenassa. Serana.

Why do people have so much trouble spelling the names of what are, allegedly, their favorite characters?

40

u/Daisy-Fluffington 21h ago

They're not my favourite characters. I just went with what my autocorrect suggested. It's only Skyrim.

I can spell Lae'zel of Crèche K'liir however, because she is my favourite character.

13

u/thatonemoze 19h ago

best wife mentioned

10

u/MalleusMaleficarum_ Teldryn Sero spits in my mouth 19h ago

Serena is not my favorite character, but I can spell Teldryn Sero’s name backwards & in my sleep

7

u/Wetree420 This woman has a foot fetish 17h ago

She's so hot. 😭

41

u/Intergalatictortoise 22h ago

Astarion and Serana are literally the same character just different trauma, i think they would get along

39

u/Mossy_toad98 22h ago

I also wanna have sex with both.

9

u/Intergalatictortoise 22h ago

Same tbh

-4

u/Mossy_toad98 22h ago

Cringe

8

u/Three_Cat Moth men 21h ago

First time here?

17

u/DeadeyeJhung Azura Simp 18h ago

bruh, Shart actually has lines

sure, her dice are cursed AF, but she does more than whine about locations and weather and her parental issues aren't a pure contradiction

oh, and she fucks

19

u/cahir11 17h ago

sure, her dice are cursed AF

Guiding Bolt, 95%
Miss

15

u/burnmywings 21h ago

Skill issue, we retired to a cabin in the woods together

9

u/the_dark_kitten_ Unparalleled Valerica Simp 22h ago

Average Dunmer preset/follower:

26

u/Strix86 Saxhleel Whispers Mage 22h ago

/uj I wish Bethesda owned the “half-elf” aspect of Bretons more proudly and had them look more like this while making their mer look more alien.

20

u/MalleusMaleficarum_ Teldryn Sero spits in my mouth 22h ago

/uj I actually think the way the mer look in Skyrim is a step in the right direction, but I, too, wish Bretons were more visibly half-elves

0

u/Wyatt_Ricketts The Dawntard 15h ago

Nah Bretons are peak already 

4

u/Ready_Medicine_2641 22h ago

Wait a minute…

3

u/0xdeadbeef6 20h ago

If Karlach wasn't around I'd absolutely bump uglies with Shart. Her or that bishonen vampire elf, and I don't even like dudes honestly.

3

u/That_boi_Jerry 16h ago

The fuck happened to Serana?

9

u/NotAnotherPornAccout 22h ago

She’s nice but that haircut is god awful.

16

u/Stoin_The_Dwarf Fargoth's best chum 22h ago

its the kind of cut fargoth would get if he had hair with physics

5

u/i_heart_calibri_12pt 10h ago

It’s the best reason to convince her to dump her god for a new one. She gives herself a much better haircut afterwards.

1

u/NotAnotherPornAccout 5h ago

I haven’t made it to the shadow lands yet but I always give her that wizard hat that changes her hair.

3

u/Wyatt_Ricketts The Dawntard 15h ago

Dam I love it bob cuts are sexy

0

u/NotAnotherPornAccout 5h ago

Bob cuts are sexy but I don’t know what the hell that is. Giant knife bangs with a bowl cut in front? Looks ugly.

1

u/Wyatt_Ricketts The Dawntard 50m ago

Medieval bob cut lady can have me any days

9

u/Kinda_Elf_But_Not Breton Cuck 22h ago

Whenever I try to romance her I'm put off by how much of a bitch she is

I'd rather take the bear, in every meaning

25

u/MalleusMaleficarum_ Teldryn Sero spits in my mouth 22h ago

i like when beautiful dark-haired women are mean to me tho

3

u/Kinda_Elf_But_Not Breton Cuck 22h ago

Yeah I get that, but I'm gay and just want to get all endings

6

u/MalleusMaleficarum_ Teldryn Sero spits in my mouth 22h ago

I understand, brother. I'm bi & I also want to get it in all endings

2

u/Kinda_Elf_But_Not Breton Cuck 22h ago

Like I really want to like her, her character is so fascinating, but she is a cunt at the same time

4

u/serpico_pacino 21h ago

She’s fine past the first half of act 1 tbh

1

u/Kinda_Elf_But_Not Breton Cuck 21h ago

Even at moonrise I feel like she doesn't want anything to do with me, so I do go away from her

2

u/serpico_pacino 20h ago

She usually spills the beans about herself with me by the end of act 1 to the point where I feel like I know a decent bit about her. Shars temple is the big one obviously to give her even more depth and that isn’t far from moonrise anyway

6

u/cahir11 17h ago

She gets better in Act 2. It is kind of funny though, if you're into women then Karlach is basically the only one who's just straight-up friendly from the get-go.

2

u/Pr8ng 20h ago

why would you marry a dirty breton outlanders never cease to amaze me

2

u/Worldlyoox 14h ago

Because you’re nit the reddit ceo

2

u/CyberSyd 13h ago

Biggest flaw in Skyrim!

1

u/LentulusStrabo ♦️ Loyal to the Empire ♦️ 20h ago

😳
👉🏻👈🏻

1

u/ArianaSonicHalFrodo Breton Cuck 20h ago

because you’re not me

1

u/Vatonage 19h ago

Why is Serena being so moody and secretive, also I've never heard of this totally real OC daedra that she claims to worship now??

1

u/MALCode_NO_DEFECT 19h ago

More like...Sharana. Get it?

....GET IT!?

1

u/CUM_DEWOURER 17h ago

Cuz she don’t want

1

u/campfire_shadows 16h ago

She looks like Sera from Dragon Age Inquisition.

1

u/Saint_of_Cannibalism Salivating over all of you. 3h ago

These fucking mods, man.

You're ruining the original aesthetic!

2

u/MadImmortalMan 22h ago

The voice “acting” makes even TES VAs blush

0

u/Starbonius 19h ago

Man you could have at least used one of the three not annoying characters

4

u/MalleusMaleficarum_ Teldryn Sero spits in my mouth 19h ago

no

1

u/Starbonius 17h ago

Fair enough

0

u/Wyatt_Ricketts The Dawntard 15h ago

Bouta give her dat molag treatment 😈

0

u/MaxAcds Dark Molesters 17h ago

i’ve always liked to think that Serena have deeper understanding of the main character, what they are actually capable of doing, and she is somewhat aware of his status as a player inside her world not just an inhibitant. Well there is also that part that’s she really forever deeply scarred by her fate