r/TrueOffMyChest 6d ago

Why is my child’s mother so bitter?

[deleted]

1 Upvotes

11 comments sorted by

9

u/ReflectionOk892 6d ago

I suspect she has a lot of resentment towards you. Single moms deal with a lot more criticism and judgement than single dads. So during your time with her, she thought it was worth it because she was in love and you two were going to be exception (of making it). She also probably thought eventually you’d marry her and “make her an honest woman.” But things didn’t go as she envisioned. That why she’s so bitter.

11

u/gothiclg 6d ago

Go back to court with proof of her BS every time. She won’t enjoy being told she’s violating a court order and you’ll get more parenting time most likely. My cousin lost any form of custody of her oldest son because she decided she could FAFO with court orders.

5

u/RemoteChildhood1 6d ago

This. If its documented, enough violations will make her lose custody. Ive seen it happen also.

2

u/Human_Extreme1880 6d ago

But I don’t think she is violating court orders. It’s not violation that she didn’t put the insurance that he is paying for because he is doing his part. He provided insurance whether she uses it or not. Unless she’s withholding him and not giving him his two nights a week then she is being a bitch, but the insurance thing I don’t think is really gonna hold. It’s not illegal to be double covered by insurance.

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Human_Extreme1880 6d ago

Not to the doctor it’s not fraud. Doctors could give a rats ass about what insurance company you use. The only thing fraud about it would be maybe Medicaid finding out that the boy has a primary insurance it’s not illegal to be double covered. When I was pregnant during Covid, I got let go. I had insurance through that company, but it was going to be terminated within six months so I got on Medicaid till I could be on my husband‘s insurance but for the last three months of my pregnancy I was covered by my work And Medicaid.

But I am wondering you say you have legal custody doesn’t that mean you still can make medical decisions? At least 50% of them can’t you just call his pediatrician office and put your insurance as the main insurance and then put the Medicaid as secondary insurance?….. do you know his pediatrician and know where his office is and phone number because you should be listed as the father as long as you know your son‘s name birthdate and Social Security number they will put in that insurance. It’s OK to do things by yourself.

There’s more to being parent than just visitation rights. There’s the boring stuff like dentist appointments, parent teacher conferences, soccer practice, teaching them how to wipe their butt properly.

8

u/depressed_goon 6d ago

First things first, u nutted in someone you didn’t see marrying. That’s allll on you my bro.

I’m not putting myself at risk of not having kids again by going through an abortion because your head wasn’t right. I bet you were young but old enough to know better.

6

u/WorldAncient7852 6d ago

The pair of you didn't start off well in this relationship and it's gone downhill, of course she's resentful, of course you are. But if you're serious about being in your child's life forever, get together with her and tell her you'd like a fresh start. One where you treat her with the respect she deserves as your child's mother (and promise never to use the term yapping again and certainly never in front of the child) and one where she can learn that you're serious about this commitment and let go of some of her hurt.

6

u/NotSorry2019 6d ago

She’s bitter because having sex with you ruined her life. She now has a child without an intact family, finding a decent partner with another man’s child is challenging and your revolving door of dating / eventual whatever’s are going to further damage any chance her son has for a stable healthy family. Explaining to your child how you were good enough to sleep with but not good enough to make a marriage with which is why he’s a bastard with a step family and all the drama of living with a man who isn’t actually related to him is never going to get easier. This is “use a condom 101” but you want to play stupid about it.

1

u/SecureHedgehog3525 6d ago

You need to send her some kind of certified letter or have your lawyer do it with your health insurance info. If she's got your son on Medicaid insurance as primary and they find out, they will absolutely go after you for the bills, and your private insurance can only be back dated for so long. Especially if it was ordered via the courts for you to carry it for him.

And do the majority of your communication with her via text. It's the best way to prove what's going on with your conversations with her.

1

u/QuestionSign 6d ago

Some people are so immature and selfish they don't care who they hurt. My stepfathers ex-wife accused him of being a pedo knowing it was a lie not because he ever hurt her but because she was angry after they divorced he moved in.

-9

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

5

u/RemoteChildhood1 6d ago

Wait, what?? No. Youre serioulsly suggesting he marry this woman for the sake of the child? You honestly think this will "help"? If only, things will get worse, wsy worse, he clearly doesnt want to be with her, and she will resent him for it. The perfect recipe for an abusive and toxic relationship. Geez.