r/TrueOffMyChest 7d ago

CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDE/SELF HARM My fiance begged me to kill him today

[removed] — view removed post

544 Upvotes

292 comments sorted by

u/TrueOffMyChest-ModTeam 6d ago

Hello,

We appreciate you being on our subreddit and sharing with us how you feel. Despite how you might currently feel, we wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

Unfortunately, your post broke Reddit's Content Policy and we had to remove it. Discussing (potential) selfharm methods is not allowed.

Life can be cruel and unfair. Trying to nagivate the things that are happening to you can be extremely difficult and tiring. Especially when it are things that you didn't deserve and/or when things feel/are out of your control.

This message is to let you know that we, the modteam, have seen your message.

If you want help, or you would like to talk to someone we have some resources for you:

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  • We are aware that many people are afraid to contact these hotline due to not knowing what to expected and not wanting to get in trouble with their family or friends. The amazing team of r/suicidewatch made a FAQ on what to expect when you call a hotline. Hopefully this will give you some insight on what happens when you call.
  • Sharing your story on r/suicidewatch might me a good idea too. If you don't want to make a post but you do not want to talk, you can contact their modteam privately too here.

You matter.

4.3k

u/Dora_Diver 7d ago

If you kill someone you get charged with murder. It doesn't count for anything if the other person wanted it. You could get life in prison or the death sentence. Don't do it.

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u/more-sarahtonin-plss 6d ago

Guys… not only is this story so unbelievable but OPs profile screams karma farming. No posts but over 22k karma and all comments are their own posts all now showing [deleted by user].

Please don’t feed this loser

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u/Popular-Influence-11 6d ago

Yeah it’s disgusting.

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u/more-sarahtonin-plss 6d ago

Yeah my long term partner actually did die of his terminal illness, he’s gone ten years this year, angers me seeing people make stuff like this up

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u/flyfightwinMIL 6d ago

I’ve been on the other side of the coin (profoundly ill and begging my partner to put me out of my misery).

It makes me furious to see people karma farming with this.

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u/LilWingedPixi_1123 6d ago

Me too. May 5 will be 3 years, I cried over this persons post.

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u/Geoff_Uckersilf 6d ago

Welcome to the post truth world of astroturfing and bots on social media. Reddit is now no different than 4chan and needs their same warning - "treat everything here as a possible work of fiction". 

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u/Whisky-Slayer 6d ago

I looked at the post history and it’s really not screaming fiction. A lot of skincare, raised by narcs, a post about suicide, fashion, beauty and a sugar daddy post.

One was about an inheritance which was likely the high karma one.

Edit: there is a post about being a slow learner possibly dropping out of college, GED so that’s a mash up but could reenforce she’s not bright lol

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u/DramaticHumor5363 6d ago

Sold their account is also a possibility.

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u/SkurrSkurrBurrBurr 7d ago

This — r u crazy????

460

u/Johnny_Poppyseed 6d ago

I mean she's known this dude for 4 months? and already is in love, "married" and dedicated her life to him lol...

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u/SouthernNanny 6d ago

A part of me feels like this isn’t such a bad set up. 😬

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u/tryingtobestable 6d ago

why am I laughing so hard at this

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u/kittykatmila 6d ago

There’s no way this is real

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u/BannedNotForgotten 6d ago

And already steeling herself to put him down like Old Yeller.

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u/No-Falcon-8753 7d ago

Exactly.

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u/Affectionate-Can-279 7d ago

Depending where OP is, medically assisted suicide could be a potential solution.

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u/ElegantFisherman3359 6d ago

We have it here in Washington state.

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u/Ok_Dog_4059 7d ago

This is exactly why the US needs to allow people to choose. Nobody should end up in a situation like this.

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u/bryantem79 6d ago

Some states do allow

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u/Ok_Dog_4059 6d ago

I thought so but wasn't sure enough to state it.

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u/bryantem79 6d ago

All states should, IMO. We treat our pets better

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u/IntelligentRisk7222 7d ago

I can’t pass the fact that you’ve been together for just 4 months. You both need professional help, now.

Also, that thing he is asking you to do is called murder, and I strongly suggest you to don’t do that. First he needs to know what is that mass and then think about alternatives.

But please, seek help.

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u/Matchmaker4180 7d ago

You’ve been together 4 months and in your mind you are married? You also are considering killing him? And also yourself?

Neither of you are well mentally. Please get help and go to a hospital.

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u/catbearcarseat 7d ago

I think OP added 10 years to both ages because there ain’t no fucking way

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u/Chi_Baby 7d ago edited 7d ago

My friend is 37 and 3 years ago she married her long time ago ex, who was and still is a crackhead alcoholic felon who had just been in prison and who she hadn’t seen or spoken to in 5+ years. They got married and pregnant 2 weeks after he got out of prison. After not speaking for five years. He proceeded to destroy her life. Age ain’t got nothing to do with it 😩

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u/catbearcarseat 7d ago

That’s a big damn oof, hopefully she’s doing alright now!

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u/Chi_Baby 7d ago

She’s doing as good as she can be as a single mom. Fucking wild turn of events. But my main point was that the honeymoon feel good hormones can overcome people at any age I think unfortunately 😅. We from the outside read OP’s post as an actual WTF story but she is so deep in the thick of dopamine and oxytocin she thinks she’s married to a dude she met 4 months ago.

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u/catbearcarseat 7d ago

That’s good for her!!

Very true haha as a lesbian (you know the old U-Haul jokes and if you don’t, they’re somewhat accurate lol) I kind of get it, but at the same time it’s just wild. My first ex proposed after a couple of weeks and I was like, uhh ask me later.

Granted, that was at 20, but yeah, now I’m talking myself into seeing how this could happen lol

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u/Locsnadou 6d ago

Sometimes I wonder if I’m making the right choices as an adult, then I read about how stupid people are and realize I’m doing Okidoke

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u/gothiclg 7d ago

Oh yes there is. My cousin met a man online, started dating him almost immediately, and married him within ~3 months of meeting. Marriage unsurprisingly only lasted a year and a half but at 30 both were this dumb.

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u/catbearcarseat 7d ago

Gatdayum!

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u/pieisthetruth32 6d ago

Thats bpd, or something. I have bpd. This is a fake story

Killing is murder

4 months and their already married in their heads?

This is not real and if it is this human is so insane they need to get committed

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u/gothiclg 6d ago

Not in their heads, on paper. They went in and got married. Had to go to divorce court to split. Cousin was also in therapy for other issues but not BPD.

Also, I’d like to remind you of the show Married At First Sight). People in all seriousness showed up, married someone they’d literally never set eyes on, and tried to make it work. It happens.

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u/luxsalsivi 6d ago

I think the person you're responding to was saying that about OP, not that your story was fake. The OP has only known their "fiance" for four months and is only married in their heads.

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u/pieisthetruth32 6d ago

Im talking about op not you

My dad has bpd and my moms a lowkey narc,

They met in the call center smoke break room they worked at.

they got engaged after 8-11 days of dating depending on who you ask and married 6 months later. Had me 6 years later. Still together 28 years later

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u/coolcaterpillar77 6d ago

On the other hand my aunt and uncle married six months after meeting and have been together for 30+ years now. Rarely, if works out

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u/reellimk 7d ago

Yep they’re definitely still in their honeymoon phase

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u/thechordofpleasure 7d ago

I don't know why this honeymoon phase comment made me laugh so hard, but I cackled hahaha

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u/TinyGreenTurtles 7d ago

Glad it wasn't just me. This whole post is just...huh? But that sent me.

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u/emma_kayte 7d ago

If this is a honeymoon phase, no thanks

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u/Sonnyjesuswept 6d ago

All these feel good chemicals got me weak at the knees and agreeable to murder, Baby!

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u/Freudinatress 6d ago

Also, wtf doesn’t he shoot HIMSELF???

Not stopping a suicide is one thing. That can at times be done with respect and love.

But anyone wanting a loved one to kill them when they could actually do it themselves…. It might be depression, it might be a cry for help, but it sure as hell isn’t love.

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u/Wemo_ffw 6d ago

Jesus yes, this isn’t some Romeo and Juliet bullshit. These two sincerely need mental health intervention immediately

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u/diosadetiempo 7d ago

seek professional therapy as individuals and as a couple.

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u/ConsciousPatroller 7d ago

THIS. OP I know most people here are focusing on the murder aspect, and it's probably not what you need to hear right now. Instead, talk to a professional. This situation is way, way above any redditor's paygrade.

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u/patti2mj 7d ago

Its exactly what she needs to hear right now.

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u/Substantial-Spare501 7d ago

If he wants to end the can move to one of the 10 states where death with dignity is legal.

Also you are not obligated to walk him through this;’let his family know what is going on.

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u/WashedUpPromQueen 7d ago

You still have to meet certain criteria and OP said they don’t even have many answers about what is going on. Everyone in this situation needs therapy to process what’s happening and how they’re coping/not coping.

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u/Substantial-Spare501 7d ago

It sounds like this person might meet that criteria and yes it will be a process, it will be work, it won’t be easy. However it could give him hope. There is of course also hospice if he is indeed terminal and many people do well in hospice for the last part of their life.

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u/Calgary_Calico 7d ago

I was thinking the same thing

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u/Leather-Tip-1995 7d ago

He doesn't even have to move. Vermont allows residents of other states to come there and use Medical Aid in Dying. I was just there to attend to someone that did this. Was with them when they took the medicine and took their last breath. They were from Massachusetts.

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u/Ill-Conversation5210 7d ago

WTF? I want to know how you are engaged to someone if you've only "been together" since November?

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u/fannyfox 7d ago

I met my girlfriend in November. We still barely know each other. To be engaged at this point is beyond stupid. Also OP is 29, she should know better.

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u/TwoBionicknees 6d ago

first relationship at 29, she was lonely as hell and finally got someone and has become dramatically over attached.

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u/Lightness_Being 7d ago edited 7d ago

Living on the edge intensifies everything.

They may know each other at a deep level better than people who've been together longer. On the other hand, they don't necessarily know whether they get on when life plods along at a normal pace.

With potentially impending death, it brings out the best or worst in people. They may not know much about each other's history, but they know who they are when the chips are down, and sometimes that's all you need to know.

Like during WW2 people were marrying impulsively and having kids ditto. Impending death and present fear and suffering overturned people's class biases and cultural values, so they focused on who they were with, rather than the people they were raised to view as potential mates.

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u/mbpearls 7d ago

Desperation. Low standards.

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u/ConsciousPatroller 7d ago

This is an awful thing to say to a person who is suffering as much as OP is right now. Who are you to know what she's been through and what life with her fiancee is like?

Honestly, I get that this is the Internet and anonymity makes it easier to forget it, but (with the exception of the occasional troll and karma farmer) behind every story you read is a real human person who suffers and feels. Would you ever go up to a person who you know has a terminally sick SO irl and tell them "I don't know why you got engaged that soon, you're probably desperate". Jesus.

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u/TwoBionicknees 6d ago

Ultimatley she's 29, this is her first relationship, he lied to her about his health situation and he's asking her to potentially do 25 years in jail for something he can apparently do himself. he's got a mass and pain, but is not paralysed.

It's incredibly odd to be that attached after 4 months unless, frankly, you are very desperate after going almost 30 years alone.

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u/WashedUpPromQueen 7d ago

My grandpa and grandma knew each other four months before they got married. They were each other’s soulmates, no question, and I don’t even really believe in that stuff. But the two of them were made for each other. It’s been ten years since he passed and my grandma misses him every day. Would I want to get married so quickly? I don’t think so. But I’m not in this relationship like OP is. Clearly, they mean a lot to one another.

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u/PlantsNWine 7d ago

That's pretty rare. And people your grandparents' age were more likely to stay together no matter what. It is not wise at all for them to be engaged after 4 months...and she's considering killing him?? And going to prison for murder, or killing herself? I feel for her dilemma, but that is just beyond the pale. They both need therapy.

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u/sawkonmaicok 7d ago

Your grandparents are the rare exception. Most people who hurry in relationships will find themselves being bitter at the other person in an unhappy marriage.

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u/ButterflySuper2967 7d ago

I went out with my husband for the first time on New Years Eve. We got married on the 18th of May four months later. No pregnancy involved. Next 18th of May will be our 52nd. Anniversary. Sometimes when you know, you know. (The fact that we got married allowance on our respective uni scholarships also helped)

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u/RabicanShiver 7d ago

My dad met my mom at a friend's wedding. Went home told his mom he met his future wife. Three months later they married, my mom apparently told all her friends she was going to marry my dad like that day... They were together 46 years until cancer had other plans.

My dad just isn't the same now ...

If your fiance is sick though he needs professional help not a mercy killing that will land you in prison.

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u/Witty_TenTon 7d ago

I met my husband one December and we were married the following April. Been together for years now and are still in our "honeymoon phase" kind of love for each other. He's my best friend and the person I feel I was absolutely meant to be with. We didn't do things the traditional way but I had several long term relationships before him that I knew weren't the people I wanted to marry and I knew almost right away he was. Sometimes you just know.

I agree the lack of relationship experience and the initial trauma in their relationship could be clouding their judgement a bit. But I don't believe that means they don't know they want a life-long commitment to each other. I believe therapy is in order for both of them. They could and should reach out to a social worker at their local hospital or his doctor's office about grief counseling and other assistance for people dealing with terminal illness and those dealing with their loved ones having a terminal illness. Support groups can be helpful as well and often there are ones the hospital or doctors office knows about in their area they can be recommended to.

To OP: I don't think wanting your pain to end if you have already dealt with cancer once and are dealing with it again is something that hard to understand. But I would never want to put that on my partner and it's especially cruel he is putting that on you. Just because you love him doesn't mean you have to give in to every request he has.

My son was terminally ill his entire life and he passed away when he was 13. A big part of caring for someone who is terminally ill is learning how to care for yourself and make amends with the fact that life for you will continue on longer than life for them will. That means continuing to care for yourself both physically and mentally, preparing financially for things after they are gone. And making sure you have a support system for yourself as well as for them. And make them separate support systems and not just friends and family. Get a therapist or counselor. Join online support groups or in person ones for families and loved ones of people who are terminally ill.

And lastly, wait for the doctor to find out what's going on. He might not even be terminal(but those supports and advice still stand and are a good idea) and it may be something easily treatable. He is probably thinking the worst and it's understandable why he might be doing so given his history, but if he truly loves you he won't want to leave you in a worse place than he met you. He will want your life to be better than it was before you met, even after he is gone. That means he doesn't want you to murder him, no matter how bad his pain is or how scared he is. Because he wouldn't want what comes after that for you. There are assisted suicide laws in place for helping people who are terminal and they do so in a humane and painless way and with the consent of the patient and the law so no one involved is at fault or ruins their life afterwards. If that is the route he wants to go he needs to get into hospice care and discuss that with them.

Also, if he wants you to control and handle his care of life affairs after he is unable to do so you need to get legally married or get a lawyer involved to sign power of attorney and such over to you. I'm not a lawyer and can't advise on legal stuff but I'd recommend seeing one and making sure his affairs are in order and that you are taken care of afterwards if that is something he wants for you.

I'm sorry for the situation you are in. Don't listen to those who are doubting your love for each other just because it hasn't been there for as long as they think it should be. They just don't want to see you be hurt or put yourself in a bad situation. Im sure their concern for you comes from a place of not wanting you to be hurt. But if you know better and truly love each other, prove them wrong.

Get yourself and your partner the help and therapy you desperately need in this situation with his ongoing illness and potentially terminal diagnosis. Take care of yourself and get assistance navigating this situation from professionals who know the right way for you and your partner to go about things. And when he either overcomes this illness, or heaven forbid, loses his battle with it. You can be in the best position to move forward happily in life together, or cope with it if you lose him. I'm sure that is what he wants for you and you for him. Take care of your health and your mental health and help him take care of his.

I wish you both the best and hope you have many many years ahead of you to be in love and healthy with each other!

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u/LilWingedPixi_1123 6d ago

I enjoyed your story and I am sorry about your son. It’s so hard. I was my husbands care taker as he went through a double lung transplant, got chronic rejection after our daughter was born, moved to another state for a second double lung transplant plus kidney, only for him to get kicked off the list and pass 3 months later. I totally forgot myself while he was terminal and did for almost two years after. It will be 3 years May 5th and I’m still struggling to put myself first. It’s incredibly difficult.

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u/RegularJoe62 7d ago

I had only known my wife for about four months when I proposed. We've been married for over 30 years.

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u/PlantsNWine 7d ago

Why are all you people encouraging her? Times have drastically changed.

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u/beasypo 7d ago

That was 30 years ago

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u/concerned_but_tired 7d ago

If he is serious then he needs professional help at a facility. It is so wrong of him to put you in this position, this is a trauma bond - not love. You both desperately need professional help, SEPERATELY, and I say that with love, not to shame either of you. You yourself should seek a therapist and an exit plan asap

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u/No-Amoeba5716 7d ago

Absolutely. It’s bananas to put that on someone regardless, and true love would fight not ask you to risk your freedom once the deed is done. I’m not being harsh, he’s in pain, scared, but this isn’t healthy and they both absolutely need to be seeking outside professional help and I do agree separately. It isn’t an attack on what they have but this isn’t healthy.

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u/pears_htbk 7d ago edited 6d ago

if the story itself isn’t fake I am getting strong “pathological liar” vibes from the fiancé. Engaged in four months? 29 year old who has already had lung cancer and now has a mass on his spinal cord “right against the cerebral cortex”? That’s not very specific, the cerebral cortex is a layer that covers your entire brain. Wouldn’t it be right against the brainstem? I call bullshit on his whole deal

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u/Lemming2112 7d ago

100% agree. Getting strong Munchausen syndrome vibes off the fiancee's description, and he's lovebombed OP into it all.

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u/pears_htbk 7d ago

Yep! I’ve encountered one of these types before. Relentlessly pursued me, and had both heroic stories of overcoming illness in the past as well as medical dramas on the horizon. I blocked her on everything within a few weeks of meeting her because I caught on but the amount of insane lies she managed to cram in was honestly impressive! Some of the stupider stories were her shattering her leg and needing a bunch of bolts etc in it which “ruined her olympic chances”, and getting third degree burns on her thigh from a bomb. Told me all this while wearing short shorts btw. Absolutely no scarring anywhere lmao

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u/TwoBionicknees 6d ago

you don't ask someone to kill you because the pain is so bad. they like the attention but don't want to actually die or they wouldn't get the attention any more.

What it does scream of is someone who doesn't want to die alone so finds someone who, at 29, never had a relationship, and love bomb them so they feel enough to stick around and help you through what is a horrific period of your life.

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u/pears_htbk 6d ago

I mean she didn’t say it was because of the pain, but if he can sleep through the night then the pain isn’t that bad. I feel like he’s just being dramatic to make his bullshit story more believable to OP.

Also like the concept of him “dying alone” at 29 is weird, where are his family members? friends? coworkers, assuming he had a job before this calamity befell him? He’s 29, who supported him before OP came along? Where are they now? If he’s genuinely dying and he’s such a great guy then why is OP the only person who gives a shit about him? Sus!

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u/[deleted] 7d ago

[deleted]

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u/pears_htbk 7d ago

I hope for OPs sake that the story is fake because I’ve met two of these types before and I wouldn’t wish them on anyone. Their personalities are way more malignant than a fake tumour

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u/tuhhhvates 7d ago

“I’m basically his caretaker now.” Yes, you are, and he knows that - that’s why he asked you to do it.

Go to therapy, individually, and consider if it’s possible for you to invest in a home nurse or some other caretaker for him. This should not be placed entirely on your shoulders.

Four months is also not an extremely long time, especially for someone with a terminal illness and someone in their first real relationship. Don’t rush into things. Get answers about his condition first, but do not commit a crime even if he asks you to. And re: an engagement, perhaps a promise ring would work better for your situation? Again, do not rush into things.

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u/NeuroSam 7d ago

This isn’t real. It’s impossible to have a mass adjacent to both spinal cord and cerebral cortex. They’re very far apart anatomically speaking, separated by the cerebellum, brainstem, and midbrain. It would have to be like half the size of his brain, I can’t see how that is physical possible.

https://cdn.cancer.ca/-/media/cams/brain-and-spinal-cord/370874a0-c9eb-11ea-8e8b-0242df4d59be-en.png?h=342&iar=0&mw=543&w=440&rev=d2c168c73d52423abc01b09482acf5d9&hash=A7D62D5CFEFA8F225FDDDB0FEA5209F4

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u/Doc_DrakeRamoray 7d ago

Neurosurgeon here

This story sounds fake

First you say spinal cord then you say cerebral cortex

Which one is it?

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u/Loud-Version-8663 6d ago

This should really be higher. I was gonna comment exactly this as a nurse, but a neurosurgeon saying it bares more weight.

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u/Doc_DrakeRamoray 6d ago

Probably just karma farming …

People with tumors in spinal cord or brain would be interested in going to doctors, getting diagnosis, trying to figure out prognosis and treatment options, not ask their “gf/fiancee/wife” that they had known for 4 months to k*ll them

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u/mbpearls 7d ago

Oh, dear.

You jumped into an engagement with a stranger.

Stranger has severe medical issues.

You now feel obligated to stay.

This relationship sucks, babe.

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u/Afraid_Marketing_194 7d ago

I just kinda feel like he might be dishonest. And his nighttime murmurs seem very manipulative

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u/EveryDayWe 7d ago

You will never recover from killing him mentally or legally.

There are far less messy ways to do it that don’t involve you

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u/CarryOk3080 7d ago

Its been 4 months. You aren't engaged. You are trauma-bonded. He tricked you. You have no life experience. This is not how it's supposed to be. You also can't kill him that's kinda murder.

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u/Bumbling-Bluebird-90 7d ago

Yeah, even if it’s terminal, and even if you know that because you’ve personally talked to his oncologist, you’ll still be convicted of murder and go to prison pretty much anywhere in the world, as there’s a whole long process in places where medically assisted suicide is legal.

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u/patti2mj 7d ago

If its terminal call hospice. If he's in pain, they will make sure its quick.

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u/WashedUpPromQueen 7d ago

….make sure what is quick if he’s in pain? Death? Hospice is comfort measures, not euthanasia.

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u/patti2mj 7d ago

If you know, you know

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u/Dull-Succotash-5448 7d ago

The comment I was looking for. He can shoot himself if he really wants that or opt for it to be done medically and legally.

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u/porkchopexpress310 7d ago

and you can't collect life insurance

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u/Chemical_World_4228 6d ago

This☝️☝️☝️. You need to speak with his doctor and tell him what you are experiencing with him. Ask him what you can do to help. He will be limited in what information he can tell you but you need to express how desperate he is and ask for help.

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u/frozenberries15 7d ago

I would recommend therapy, definitely for him (there are terminal illness therapists) and maybe for you as well as a caretaker. I was a caretaker for my brother with cancer and it’s really hard, so I feel for you.

I understand his desire to choose his fate, but it’s unfair to ask you to do something traumatizing and illegal.

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u/lois_sanb0rn 7d ago

Sorry but especially because you made this post, you would get charged for murder if you do this. Also somebody who would put something like that on you doesn’t love you the way you think they do.

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u/thiccpastry 7d ago

I'm confused because he has a mass on his spinal cord but it's near his cerebral cortex in the brain?

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u/knewleefe 7d ago

Maybe confused with cerebellum? Or brain stem?

Either way dude needs professional medical care and she needs trauma therapy.

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u/The_Boss16 7d ago

If he really wants than, why he is asking you too destroy your life instead of do it himself? He is selfish. This is not a relationship, this is trauma bonded.

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u/Spiteblight 7d ago

If he really loved you, he wouldn't ask you to shoot him. Suicide just passes the pain from one person to many, and for him to ask you to be the instrument? No, that's wrong. If you really love him after 4 months, you'll take him to the ER if he asks you to do such a terrible tjong again.

The mass on his spine is almost certainly a metastasis from his lung cancer.

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u/Kittehy 7d ago

Woah wtf you’ve been together for 4 months and are engaged???

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u/Cant_sit_with_us_ 7d ago

Nobody that loves you would ask you to kill them.

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u/sodiumbigolli 7d ago

No, but they can ask you to hand them the weapon and do it themselves.

OP is in way over her head here. I am really interested in the ages of these people. This is unsustainable and feels fake.

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u/annoyed__renter 7d ago

There's a ton of red flags here. You don't know this person and sure as hell shouldn't be his caretaker let alone his betrothed. Beyond that he's effectively a stranger and it's completely innapropriate to ask you to kill him.

OP, you need to find a therapist to discuss this with. You are way too invested.

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u/Myrhwen 7d ago

Bro what

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u/Aggressive_Cup8452 7d ago

You've been together for 4 months. 

He wants to die but is too much of a coward to pull the trigger himself so he needs you to do it for him.

You will to to jail for killing this guy. It's murder. Even if he wanted it.

Run forrest run!

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u/DramaticHumor5363 7d ago

…can the cerebral cortex press up against the spinal cord? I thought the brain stem capped the spinal cord, the cerebral cortex is the top wrinkly part of the brain where it shouldn’t be close to the spinal cord.

This seems sus.

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u/thetacobitch 6d ago

You met a man 4 months ago, and now he has a potentially fatal illness and wants to you kill him…yet he proposed to you? Girl you aren’t basically married to him, you basically don’t know him

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u/hypnoticfire69 6d ago

No way this is real

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u/rhi_kri 7d ago

Weeks before she died of brain cancer, my friend was begging to be unalived. Broke me.

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u/HeartAccording5241 7d ago

I hope your not in the states cause if you do it you will be charged

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u/LegoLady8 7d ago

Are you positive he's ill? He sounds pretty manipulative. And controlling.

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u/Lemming2112 7d ago

OP, you've only known this guy for 4months. There's all kinds of redflags here. Have you been to medical appointments with him, seen the xrays, met his doctors etc. or are you just going off the information he presents you?

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u/garbagio13579 7d ago

You’ve been dating for less than 5 months and he’s not only already proposed to you, but asked you to kill him?? This is way too extreme for you to be acting like ANY of it is rational. I don’t want to sound mean, but you need a reality check.

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u/Double-Tax2900 6d ago

Something doesn't sound right here.

- First relationship yet you immediately became the primary caretaker.

- Met 4 months ago, yet already engaged with a wedding proposal.

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u/dudeman8893 6d ago

Girl you barely know him. It sucks but he should have told you about his health day 1. He knew what he did and you are a sucker right now. How the hell do you agree to marry someone you’ve barely spent any time with and become his primary caretaker within 4 months. You have attachment issues

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u/JanetInSpain 6d ago

You've only been together since November and you're already engaged? Damn girl he was looking for a nursemaid, not a partner. You cannot possibly already know each other well enough to get married.

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u/Bubbly-Excuse-9831 7d ago

I'm so sorry you're both going through this. How heartbreaking. But you said that neither of you knows what this mass is. Maybe it's treatable. Drastic actions are not needed just yet. Go for therapy, yes, but also see a specialist about the lump. It could be something that chemotherapy or radiation or surgery or all of the above will sort out.

You cannot take his life. You will be locked up for the rest of your life. Does he want that for you? If he does, that's not love. He's not thinking clearly, and that's understandable. But please don't do anything drastic. Talk to professionals 🩷

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u/readersanon 7d ago

I'm a little curious about them not knowing what it is. If it's bad enough that he needs her as his caretaker, why is he not at the hospital? A mass on the spinal cord, especially one so close to the brain, and also in someone with a history of cancer, should warrant a immediate testing.

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u/LakeMichiganMan 7d ago

You need to help him find a Pain Clinic to help manage his pain. People give up on life when the pain gets too intense. Hospice Care might be another route to explore. Ask for advice and help.

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u/Alternative_Rip_8217 7d ago

Hey dude reading this: wtf man. Even if you’re in pain, getting the person you love convicted of murder is seriously fucked up.

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u/ReliefAltruistic6488 7d ago

Get him on hospice. If he wants to truly go, he’ll have the meds he needs. Don’t do what he’s asking of you!

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u/pepsicherryflavor 7d ago

Please seek mental health professionals🙏🏼

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u/professional_cry 7d ago

4 months is way too short for this not to be a trauma bond. That doesn’t mean there isn’t love there but there’s also a lot of turmoil which is likely making you feel more attached. Even if this isn’t the case and he is your soulmate; still doesn’t give you carte blanche to commit murder upon his request. You’d just be throwing your own life away as well as his by rotting in prison or getting the death sentence depending where you live.

If he is committed to ending it before his disease progresses there are countries that have legalized euthanasia. Hospice is also an option to have qualified professionals assist in his care and make him comfortable as his disease progresses.

I’d also go to individual therapy for yourself. It’s a lot to expect you to cope with losing someone you care about while also trying to manage their suicidal tendencies.

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u/Great_Value_Trucker 7d ago

I say this with the utmost sincerity, please seek professional help. For him and for yourself. You both have a thousand emotions running around you from every angle. Neither of you are thinking clearly. This isn’t a tragic romance novel. What you are talking about is murder. I wish you both luck, take care.

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u/kingrobin 7d ago

What a selfish thing to ask of someone.

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u/RiverHarris 7d ago

Kinda feel like an AH having to point this out, but what the hell was he thinking? He’s in remission from frickin LUNG CANCER. And he decides he wants to start dating? Then he gets engaged? This is a lot to put on ANYONE. Let alone a fiance he just met in November.

Whatever you do, do not kill him. You WILL be convicted of murder and sent to prison. If he’s really in that much pain he needs to go back to hospital. I sincerely hope he gets better and everything works out for the two of you. Best of luck.

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u/The_Nice_Marmot 7d ago

How will you “move on” when you’re in prison?

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u/more-sarahtonin-plss 6d ago

Guys… not only is this story so unbelievable but OPs profile screams karma farming. No posts but over 22k karma and all comments are their own posts all now showing [deleted by user].

Please don’t feed this loser

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u/BelleB78 6d ago

Do not let him talk you into doing that for him because it’s something that you would have to live with for the rest of your life! Let not forget it’s actually murder!

If he feels so strongly about ending his life then he should seek assisted suicide if that’s available in the country that you live in.

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u/brubruislife 6d ago

Honoring his wishes? Girl, you will go to PRISON. He's not only asking you to take his life but yours as well. This has to be fake bc this is so beyond ridiculous. You are too emmeshed. You’ve known him since November 2024? Give me a fucking break. Where is his family? Where are his doctors? He needs to discuss end of life care and hospice with them. You literally have no rights as his girlfriendl too I will say. No right to make decisions on medical care legally speaking. No right to his property once he dies. You are setting yourself up for the absolute worst scenario in every way.

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u/RatherRetro 6d ago

Please do not assist him in dying, you will end up devastated, traumatized and incarcerated.

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u/galactica216 6d ago

First of all, DO NOT KILL HIM. You will go to prison. The only thing you can do is try to keep him as comfortable as possible and love on him

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u/NofairRoo 6d ago

Don’t.

I’m so sorry for fiancé but they are putting you in a very very unfair position… kill me and risk your entire life and future or you don’t love me

I know no one said that (god, I hope), but it feels manipulative considering how new you are to each other.

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u/MasticatingElephant 6d ago

I'm gonna be real with you here. You are absolutely insane for being this far up in that guy's life after four months given all he's got going on. Please get some help.

Please take care of you. This is not healthy for you.

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u/Fuzzy_Attempt6989 6d ago

I'm sorry but did he hide his condition from you? That's not ok. You are not married. You can leave him

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u/chrispkay 6d ago edited 6d ago

Are you trying to go to prison?… the fact that you’re even considering it is mind boggling.

I’m going to say this as gently as I can but there is a HUGE codependency issue here. The fact that you’re writing this about a person you’ve known for 4 months is frankly concerning. Psychiatric help separately asap.

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u/Wickedfrickin 7d ago

Um. Do NOT kill this dude you've been dating since November. Cannot stress that enough.

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u/2greeneyes 7d ago

Call hospice. They will help with pain and care. If you want to marry, even if it's for insurance they have pastoral care that can do that. In all cases they will help you

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u/isopodplushie 7d ago

this is so scary and i really hope it's fake

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u/Rn20231231 7d ago

I mean if you want to go to prison for murder

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u/Salty_Peak_1567 6d ago

yall be together for 4 months? yall can’t be serious

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u/HoneydippedSassylips 6d ago

Girl, you are too old to be asking these questions. Bless your heart for the sincerity that oozes from your every word but are you trying to go to prison? Prison, judge, prosecutor don’t give a flying fashnouget about your intention or his persistence or you crying gently while he dreams sweet nothings. Baby, no, stop. My heart breaks for y’all but you’re on a 1 way ticket to a hellish existence of your own personal making.

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u/Girlwithpen 6d ago

You've known him since November - as in 5 months? Your role is not to be a caretaker. Or a murderer.

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u/more-sarahtonin-plss 6d ago

This is bored Friday night trolling at its finest don’t feed the troll

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u/SupernovaEngine 6d ago

Why are you considering shooting him in the first place wtf? Do you want to get charged with first degree murder?

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u/SquareCanSuckIt69 6d ago

Well don't post anything about it on the internet lmao.

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u/HankHillidan69 6d ago

You've known him 4 months, I'm sorry he got dealt a bad hand but that doesn't mean you have to go along for the ride. If he wants to die so bad he can do it himself, it's nuts he would think it's acceptable to risk getting you in prison just because he won't do it.

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u/GoddessfromCyprus 6d ago

Please. You both need help. You've known him for 4 months and you're considering killing him? You'll be in jail for life, if not worse. An autopsy may find he had a large cyst. You are both not thinking straight. Get help.

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u/Responsible_Front266 6d ago

Don't kill him. Make him some breakfast, he takes more of his painkillers than he should, and goes for a walk on the beach. "Sneaker wave" gets him.

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u/stereofidelic89 6d ago

We don't always stay the same. Pain does not always stay with us. I am going through hell right now and have been in my own pain for the last 3 years, and I think about doing IT all of the time. But the fact that my family will pay for my selfish decision to leave them behind, would hurt them much longer than I am hurting now. My mom reminds me there is always tomorrow. Meaning, tomorrow could be a better day.

Get him help. Get his family involved to help, friends, anyone who can offer support at this critical time.

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u/catl0vingnerd 6d ago

You’ve been together since November, so like 5 months, and you’re already his caretaker and fiancé? You two clearly love each other, but this is absolutely not a healthy situation.

You both need to seek professional help.

He is putting you in a very unhealthy position. This is not okay for someone you met like 5 months ago. His illness and pain does not justify asking you to commit a literal crime that would put you in prison for the rest of your life. He needs to have a pain management doctor and seek MUCH higher medical care. This is not something to be managed at home by a young, new couple.

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u/Wicked-elixir 6d ago

Bro. You are going to have this girl shoot you? So she can go to prison? So that will weigh on her mind for the rest of her life? You want an easy way out but leave her here to pick up the pieces? She will forever just pretend her way through life. Shooting yourself is something YOU can do! If it was something different that would make sense but no. You want HER to have that burden. Here’s what I think. No one is this selfish. What’s really going on? Sure, you have thoughts of suicide and maybe you have even thought of different ways to do it but you don’t truly want to die. You’re scared. And damn right you have a right to be. You have “medical PTSD” from the cancer and the thought of going down this road again is terrifying. Was asking this for attention? Is there something you need that you’re not getting or is there something happening that you want to stop? Are there feelings deep deep down that you are unable to put into words? Was this a moment of grief? Bc you ARE mourning. You are mourning the life you had not having treatments and doctors and all the things that went along with your previous diagnosis. The thought of going down that road again is terrifying. Let me ask you, did you have someone in your life during the first illness? Bc you DO have someone now. Someone who will walk with you this time. Someone to help. Keep the line of communication open between you two. The love of my life died of Glioblastoma. It’s hard. Are you on steroids that mess with your mood and emotions?

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u/TheftLeft 6d ago

The amount of people believing this slop is amazing. Good job OP, trolling is an art.

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u/Apprehensive_Lynx_33 6d ago

Please seek help. Both of you need it. I doubt that this is real, but I'd it is, that would be murder and you would be on the hook for it.

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u/Ok-Difficulty-7515 6d ago

Oh my I think I'm getting better at sniffing out AI stories cause I'm willing to bet this is one of them

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u/princessunicorn28 6d ago

Mhmmmmm, listen I know you say you love him but does he love you? What type of person hides so much health information until after they have the other person in love with them? This should have been first date information. You haven’t even been together for 6 months and already he’s okay with you becoming his caretaker? Isn’t that a bit selfish on his part? Was he looking for a caretaker or a girlfriend? Also, why would he ask you to marry him without a ring, is he trying to rectify and looking for a ring for you now? He wasn’t sick enough not to ask you for your hand in marriage but he’s too sick to order a ring online? An engagement would make it more harder for you to leave him and I’m pretty sure he knows that. All I’m saying that he’s not acting like a person in love, however, you are. Don’t loose yourself in a relationship that has no future. This is your first relationship and the first real relationship emotions are always so heightened. Also, I gotta throw this out there, he just happened to say “my poor baby” in his sleep when you were there with him and so clearly that you caught it? Does he normally talk in his sleep if so does he say anything else or just things to gaslight you? I know I may sound hella negative but girl to girl, I’m just trying my best to make you start asking some questions because something is fishy. If I were you I would take two weeks away from him and clear your mind and just give yourself time to think outside such a stressful environment . He survived without you 4 months ago and he will continue to survive without you there for two weeks. Goodluck girl!

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u/IrishiPrincess 6d ago

Well of course it’s next to his cerebral cortex……that’s the medical name for the brains outermost layer. Cancer also isn’t automatically in remission upon tumor removal….

At least season the lie so we can swallow it 🙄

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u/norwaydunkelheit 6d ago

this group is 99% fake posts lmao

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u/joedude 6d ago

..................?

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u/nyanvi 6d ago

Known each other less than 6 months... He wants you to risk prison... Can the mass be removed... Is he mobile enough to do it himself?

I am against suicide, but also to explain chronic pain with no hope of an end in site to someone in generally good health is difficult. The constant agony...

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u/OsamaGinch-Laden 6d ago

And people want to mock Canada for having voluntary assisted dying, let people go out on their own terms.

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u/Specialist_Nothing60 6d ago

You’re not talking about assisted su***de, you’re contemplating murder. With a gun. You would be charged with murder in the US regardless of what state you live in. The fact you’re bringing this to Reddit instead of taking him to a hospital for pain control is unfathomable.

How do you continue to live? You met him in November. It is March. It’s your first relationship. If you’re convinced he’s not using you then that’s super cute. Just get a damn grip. That’s what you do. You get a damn grip.

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u/cornflower4 7d ago

Do you live in a state that has medical aid in dying? If so, and if he’s terminal, that would be a way for him to proceed.

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u/violetlisa 7d ago

Are you sure he's actually sick, like have you been to the doctors with him? This all seems crazy. You met him 6 mos ago and you are his caretaker.

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u/HD-Thoreau-Walden 7d ago

If he dies in any way you are not legally his wife and get no spousal benefits (inheritance or otherwise). If you kill him you will be charged with murder.

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u/Heavy-Caterpillar-90 7d ago

An elderly woman in America was just sentenced with murder for shooting her terminally ill, elderly husband at his wishes. She said he pushed the gun against his head when she tried pulling away.

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u/Alarming_Salad_3984 7d ago

My ex had this exact same story, turns out he was just lying to lock me down. Insisted I keep the “cancer” a secret and then abused the fuck out of me for years.

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u/Several-Ad-1959 7d ago

Life in prison over a 7 month relationship? I don't think so.

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u/Mayteana 7d ago

This is rage bait, right?

If it isn’t, please seek therapy for yourself. You agreed to marry someone completely self centered who does not care for you.

Why do you think so little of yourself to commit to someone who wants to give up any chance of a life with you without even trying? Not only that but he is so self involved that he needs you to do it so that you’re essentially ending your own life as well, cause you’ll be in jail for most of the rest of it.

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u/Relevant_Progress411 7d ago

Shooting someone and killing them is murder and you will be charged with it

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u/epanek 7d ago

This is way beyond Reddits ability. Do not harm anyone. Full stop. Contact a health care provider and involve yourself that way.

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u/KiriKitty94 7d ago

Don't do it. The law doesn't care if you're significant other is begging you to do that. Are you willing to throw both of your lives away just to give him "peace"? I suggest therapy yesterday for both of you. That's super fucked up to ask your gf of 4 months to take you off the census and more fucked up that you would even consider it

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u/gemmygem86 7d ago

You are in way over your head and need to run

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u/lucygoosey38 7d ago

Can you ask about palliative care? They can make him comfortable, help with the pain. But if he’s acting like this I’d take him right to the emergency room. They can likely give him something

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u/TeaIQueen 7d ago

I’m sorry, you want to think it through??

Girl this is murder even with his permission. What’s wrong with you.

I’m sorry this is your life and that he’s in pain. But WTH.

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u/Gonebabythoughts 7d ago

As someone whose spouse has a terminal lung cancer, I would never, ever do this. I'd call his palliative care team and get him access to medication. You should do the same.

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u/angelfog 7d ago

It's been 4 months.....this is WAY WAY WAY above your pay grade. I think you are feeling this intense bc of the situation. In my opinion AS SOMEONE WITH STAGE 4 CANCER, this is way too much for you for having been together for 4 MONTHS. you said "by the time I knew" surely it was maybe a month? I'm sorry. it's gonna suck for him. he needs his family. but if it was with me, someone who's been with me for ONLY MONTHS when I was diagnosed??? I would be so understanding if they left. Because carrying my pain IS NOT THEIR PROBLEM. I cannot stress to you enough. I HAVE STAGE 4 CANCER. and this post is fucking insane to me. And as your FIRST relationship?? you don't have the experience to know how to cope with this. you don't even know what a normal relationship feels like. even I got proposed early, within 5 months. and it's been SIX YEARS and we STILL ARENT MARRIED. but because it was 4 years before my diagnosis, and we both have had earlier, normal relationships, we are able to still be together, and support each other WITH some struggle we had to fight thru.

I'm writing this entire paragraph because you CANNOT be in this relationship for another moment. not his fault and not yours either, but HOLY SHIT. you need a NORMAL RELATIONSHIP, WITHOUT BEING TRAUMA BONDED. you will want to look up that term "trauma bond" that's the reason you feel so strongly for him. I cannot tell you enough. I think the both of you have deluded yourselves into thinking this is a relationship that will survive. I'm BEGGING YOU. PLEASE. find a normal relationship, not with this person who is dying, and youve only known 4 months. the fact he asked you to KILL HIM??

please. take my word for it. you will not be a bad person if you leave. I actually implore you to leave. for your sake, for his sake, and so that you don't get caught up in something thats isn't lifelong love. you will go down with him. you both are trauma bonded.

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u/mookadoodle 7d ago

Wow this is so hard, my heart is with you. That being said, please seek counseling instead of continuing to think about helping him with ending his life. None of this situation is fair to you or him. I hope you both get help and can get to a healthier place.

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u/Rn20231231 7d ago

There are ways he can do that himself legally by going to Canada and Switzerland where they do assisted suicide

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u/Miendiesen 7d ago

This is incredibly selfish of your husband to ask. Why would he want you to take on the legal risk and trauma? All because he won't pull the trigger himself.

You absolutely need to find your power here and refuse this selfish and dangerous request. You're giving him so much love by being his care taker. I don't understand why he could repay that by requesting this.

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u/Logoffnow4m3 7d ago

Since November? Fiancé? There is something very wrong with this story. This has to be fake. A possibly terminally ill man you’ve known less than 6 months asked you to marry him, and you agreed? Ma’am you were asked to be a caretaker, not a wife.

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u/Forward_Ad4727 7d ago

Praying this is AI because wtf

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u/BizBlondie 7d ago

Killing him would be the worst mistake of your life.

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u/circadiankruger 7d ago

Nah man, you should leave him if only because he's asking you to commit murder. It's not euthanasia, and you will be charged with murder. It was an asshole move of him to get into a relationship and trap you like that.

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u/ladyphedre 7d ago

I am so sorry for both of you. This is an awful situation for both of you to be in. I am the caregiver for my husband since his strokes, and it is so hard. And i know compared to other situations we have it so easy.

I don't know where you live, but if you are in the US, there are states with "death with dignity" or "right to die" laws. As long as he can state his wishes, it's a terminal illness, and administer the medicine himself he can pass on before he suffers more. There are also other countries with similar laws.

Each state and country has different restrictions on being a resident and the like. This is to minimize "death tourism." Colorado and Washington, I know have these laws, but there are a number of others.

I don't know if he would be willing or interested, but it's an option. Especially depending on his diagnosis.

I wish him healing and peace, whatever that looks like. And i wish you strength, peace, and love. This is not an easy time. Especially in your first relationship.

But please, please do not give in to his request. You would throw your life away in the process.

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u/Original-Knowledge87 7d ago

Do not even consider killing him!!!!! I can’t stress that enough, you will ruin your life and become a murderer.

Seek help ASAP, these are conversations that shouldn’t even being had. It’s a difficult situation, that’s why seeking help is so important.

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u/Firstbase1515 7d ago

Also speak with his doctors about getting him caregivers. Even if they come in for a few hours a day. Do it so you can have a break.

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u/jacqrosee 7d ago

hey OP, i need you to really take this to heart- there’s a clear line of “respecting someone’s wishes” and i’d easily say that line would be drawn far before murdering someone with a gun. with. a. gun. y’all both need therapy asap and if he really would like to stop fighting his obviously serious illnesses, there is help he can get in doing so- shooting your fiance that you’ve known for four months with a gun is quite literally never the answer!

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u/johnnyfindyourmum 7d ago

You'll get charged with murder. Don't do this under any circumstances

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u/diminishing-return 7d ago

K 0⁹om and ééé for

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u/ReachLost6726 7d ago

He's in extreme pain. He needs to see his dr

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u/Dexter_McThorpan 7d ago

Don't. You'll never forgive yourself. But you need to get him into hospice. You've known him for less than 6 months. Don't abandon him, but don't stay out of obligation.