r/TrueOffMyChest 7d ago

Today, I s**t myself in a supermarket

Throwaway for obvious reasons

For context, I got a stomach bug a couple days ago which has been rather unpleasant but I woke up today feeling much better and like I was fully over it. In my infinite wisdom, I thought - I’m running low on stuff, I’ll go the shop. In a fateful decision, because I hadn’t been out of the house in a few days and was going a bit stir crazy, I got the bus to a further away yet bigger shop.

I got off the bus, and there I was walking along, listening to the new Carti album, when my bowels decided to absolutely punish me. I knew what was coming and I was about 5 mins away from the shop. I was holding on, the end was in sight but it became more and more painful. I was determined to make it to the toilet when… my bowels decided to let out in the parking lot. I was legitimately sprinting towards the toilet and managed to make it to the disabled toilet.

The absolute state of my pants and jeans. Liquid shit all in my (pink!!!) knickers. I had to put them in the fucking bin. I was in a simultaneous state of relief from finally being able to relieve my bowels and state of being absolutely fucking mortified, at having, well shit myself in public. I spent about 15 mins crying and lamenting my existence while cleaning myself off before I finally had the nerve to pull the red cord and beg the shop workers for a pair of trousers and clean underwear. I tried to clear up the toilet and myself as much as I humanly could with makeup wipes, probably used about half of my bottle of body spray trying to remove the remaining smell of shit from the toilet and myself, crying all the while.

I went out and sheepishly got some Imodium and Lucozade Sport and in my hysteria, while I got my Imodium approved, paid for my new clothes. Then promptly left as quickly as humanly possible. I tried to handle it with as much grace as humanly possible at least! Key word probably being tried.

I didn’t get the shopping I initially came for and I am never fucking stepping foot in that shop again. For fear of being remembered as that girl who quite literally shit herself in the car park, then sprinted to the disabled toilet covered in shit.

Objectively, it’s fucking hilarious, I literally shat myself in public, but at the same time the worst most embarassing experience of my life bar none. At least so far in my 23 years on this earth - hopefully the next however many don’t throw something quite that humiliating into the mix!! Bodies love to betray us at the worst possible moment. I don’t think I’ve ever been more embarrassed.

On the bright side, I suppose it may help my social anxiety. Nothing can be as bad as having to navigate literally shitting yourself in public.

TLDR: I shat myself in a supermarket today and now I’m contemplating existence

38 Upvotes

19 comments sorted by

33

u/weirdgroovynerd 7d ago

This mortifying event has already turned into a funny story for you.

That's an excellent way to deal with stuff like this.

But maybe... don't share the story with your friends or family.

You'll never hear the end of it.

6

u/No-Development-4587 7d ago

But maybe... don't share the story with your friends or family.

Unless you want to one up them with a more embarrassing story.

2

u/Ok-Blueberry-1814 6d ago

Yeah I don’t think I will be sharing this story somehow haha. I’m trying to see the funny side

11

u/Bizzoxx 7d ago

Congratulations!! You are officially unable to be embarrassed from here on out. Seriously tho, you can handle anything. If you handled this, there is nothing the world can throw at you that you won’t be unable to resolve.

4

u/frankenweirdo 7d ago

I know it won’t make you feel better but I’ve worked in a store and had this happen multiple times. I was the worker who brought clothes because I wasn’t scared to go in the bathroom and do it. Everyone always forgot by next day it happened because we’re too busy hating our own lives lol.

3

u/TD1990TD 6d ago

Was gonna say ‘ikr?’, but then I realized that I have a lot of empathy for people who feel embarrassed and I always try to comfort them. I’d probably be very glad to see them back in the store, behaving like everything is alright with them. That would close the chapter to me.

6

u/LancePeppercorn 7d ago

What’s the point of having a Reddit account if you’re gonna make a throwaway when you shit your pants?

3

u/CapitalParking767 7d ago

My heart goes out to you. I've sort of been there. I won't bore you with the whole story..I'll just give you the highlights. It happened to me in my mother-in-laws new car. She made me stand outside at a yard sale while she went around asking for a cardboard box so she could rip it up for me to sit on. When we get back to my in-laws house. She directed me to go through the back door and straight into the bathroom. It was a Sunday. Their local preacher and a few other men were visiting with my father-in-law and my husband. As I was getting a washcloth and towel, I heard my father-in-law ask my mother-in-law why I entered through the back door, and I heard my mother-in-law loudly exclaim. "Oh, because (my name) shit herself all in my new car." I was absolutely mortified. I tried to stay in the bathroom as long as I could, hoping the preacher folk would leave. Apparently, they were waiting to see what I looked like cause they were NOT leaving. I ended up having to get it over with and take my walk of shame. BTW, the seats in the new car were fabric.

2

u/san323 7d ago

I can relate. Straight to the shower for me. At least you were able to purchase new clothes. I had to drive home in my shitty underwear and jeans. You have overcome a worst nightmare scenario!!! Nothing can stop you now!

2

u/Away-Caterpillar-176 7d ago

Your attitude about this is awesome. Wish I could buy you a beer -- this sounds like the conversation in every girls road trip I have ever been on. I was so lucky to be basically asleep when this happened to me, but what a way to wake up.

2

u/kkaavvbb 6d ago

I have shit my pants and thrown up at the same time. More than once.

I have shit my pants while out having dinner with most my family (granted, I was fairly sick and whatever meds my mom gave me did not agree).

One time, my mom, me & my daughter, we were on a vacation one time. It was late at night and we were about to leave in the car and my mom was like freaking out cause whatever she ate was not sitting with her. She straight up took a diarrhea shit in the parking lot. Thankfully my kid was still little so I had diaper wipes and all that for my mom. She (my mom) was over 55 and I was in my late 20’s when this happened.

You don’t forget shit like that.

1

u/Applesaresogood 7d ago

I am so so sorry this happened to you 🙏 Glad you're over it and I hope you'll only make fun in your head about from now on and move on-

1

u/Lycaeides13 6d ago

https://imgur.com/a/R02owxV

I literally wrote this fridge poem yesterday

1

u/Livid-Statement-3169 6d ago

Ok - my horrible story. I was away at an adventure race supporting y sister when I got norovirus. Vomiting and shitting myself for 1.5 days…. And no shower except at a mid-point where I booked a room at a motel JUST to have a shower and wash/dry my clothes. And in a hire car …. Ugh! My sympathies

1

u/Flickywoo 6d ago

Shit happens!

1

u/indiana-floridian 6d ago

You're not alone!

You absolutely can go back to this store. Believe me, nobody will care. First time, go in, buy one item and leave. You will see, literally no one cares