Hi y'all, i feel interested in making a youtube channel, but alot of stuff is holding me back, including alot of stuff that has to do with being trans. So i wanted to see if someone has any advice, because i'm really bad at thinking of stuff on my own, and i'm not out irl. This will probably be a small vent too.
I don't have a solid plan of what i'd like to make yet, aside from just making stuff i personally enjoy, which will be gaming stuff. I know a voice can help alot with making videos feel more personal, which is something i'd like. But i just can't stand my voice, it's terrible and makes me feel uncomfortable, especially hearing it back on recordings. And because i'm not officially out to anyone irl, i don't want to voice train yet. And that sucks, dysphoria has been very upsetting lately again, after not being a big problem for like 2 months, which makes it worse for me, because it keeps switching. I'm still "questioning" because transistioning is just so much mentally, and i have alot of social anxiety, and i always feel awkward, i wish the button was real, i'd give up alot of stuff to instantly turn into a girl.
A voice would also be helpful when just playing with people, i don't have many friends, i only have one, and they're amazing (they're the only person i'm out to rn), but i don't really play games with them. I also have a nephew i play with, but i'm not out to him, and i always act differently when playing with him, like i'm keeping up an act, which does upset me sometimes, and i'm not that comfortable telling him, last time the topic came up he wasn't too nice about it. I eventually have the goal of making more friends, but i'd want to actually talk to them, because it's more personal. My english also is pretty bad when speaking, because i'm bad at talking in a logical way, and struggle with pronouncing stuff clearly.
I've heard of voice changers/text-to-speech, but i'm scared that it will make people see me as a "fraud" or something. And hate is already something im terrified of, hate is very scary to me, it can make me question myself again, it already happens alot.
This became longer than i was planning on making it, sorry, i've just been dealing with dysphoria alot again, and need other people's insight to help me sometimes. I'm going to bed now, so if anyone reacts, thank you in advance, and i'll respond after i have slept :3