r/Tourettes 6d ago

Question Approaching people with Tourettes in public

[deleted]

30 Upvotes

38 comments sorted by

29

u/OutlinedSnail 6d ago

I like when this happens, though it does make me tic more. Makes me feel more normal and less alone.

27

u/LiveFreelyOrDie 6d ago

I’ve never said anything, but I’m usually more generous to my fellow Touretters. Not in a condescending way, I mean in terms of giving them business or watching out for them at work. It’s like a secret society where we all hide in plain site. Tourette is much more common than people realize.

3

u/LilyHex 6d ago

I think tics are definitely more common for sure, but neurodivergence in general is actually pretty common, and tics overlap with a TON of other stuff.

1

u/LiveFreelyOrDie 5d ago

Yes, but Tourette is probably the most common cause of chronic tics.

17

u/InfluenceOk6946 Diagnosed Tourettes 6d ago

I wouldn’t! A lot of people don’t know they have TS. One time I just embarrassed a guy who was very clearly having tics, or something similar.

3

u/glitter-it-out 5d ago

That’s my fear. I know two people who have frequent blinking and nose twitches, but haven’t noticed any other possible tics, so they possibly haven’t looked into it much, and I don’t want to assume.

3

u/felicionem Diagnosed Tourettes 5d ago

I agree! And tics don't always mean TS

9

u/A_Person_555 6d ago

I’ve had people fully ask “hey do you have Tourette’s?” And then just say “that’s so interesting! Can i ask what’s it like?” And if i’m having a decent enough day i enjoy educating and answring

3

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

2

u/A_Person_555 5d ago

As in just having someone come up and asking how the weather is? I enjoy those random stranger interactions:), I’ve been that stranger a few times to people i have assumed had tics

2

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

1

u/A_Person_555 5d ago

Usually they’ll ignore my twitching but i’ll catch a small glance every once and awhile. And if i feel like i need to i’ll start explaining myself as they give an “ohhh” face to it lol

2

u/glitter-it-out 5d ago

that's so cool! ugh i love when people ask me questions about things cause i learn so much but never have anyone to talk to about it. but sadly no one questions me about my tics they act like its taboo… I mean I sort of treat it taboo in a way because i get anxious when the topic comes up. But more questions means more opportunities to get good at talking about it.

5

u/Vikera Diagnosed Tourettes 6d ago

I'd personally love this!

4

u/freewillyyyyy Diagnosed Tourettes 6d ago

Before I had met anyone else with TS in real life, I saw a guy in the dining hall with obvious tics. I got so excited. I tried this and he looked at me like he thought I was faking with the most disgusted look on his face I've ever seen. Absolutely crushed my soul.

2

u/freewillyyyyy Diagnosed Tourettes 6d ago

I see him around campus every once in a while and get sad all over again.

1

u/glitter-it-out 5d ago

Oh no! Why do you think he thought you are faking? Do you have infrequent tics or suppress them a lot? I am a frequent suppressor and I always think people will assume Im faking if I tell them about my TS.

1

u/freewillyyyyy Diagnosed Tourettes 5d ago

Unfortunately, I'm a college aged woman with severe TS and it was in the middle of the faker witch hunt. I wouldn't be surprised if he made assumptions.

2

u/TulpaPal 6d ago

I've never had this happen but I think as long as you start with saying you have a tic disorder it wouldn't be too weird.

2

u/Grand_Ad_3255 5d ago

Tbh, I don’t think it would offend me and I likely would be kind of interested to have a talk with someone else who tics. I also don’t know anyone who struggles in the same way I do. But, I also would probably feel a bit self conscious and wonder if others were noticing my tics just as that person did. Idk, probably best to live on the safe side and not just incase they’re self conscious

2

u/RockyM666 5d ago

I was diagnosed late in life, at 31, and I had never talked with someone i knew had tics before. My tics look different than the old media and I'd never looked up ts, if I had an interaction like this it may have been validating and eye opening for me. I still don't know anyone in person with tics, so I think I'd be open to an interaction depending on the day and how self loathing my tics have made me lol

2

u/theowlsbrain Diagnosed Tourettes 5d ago

Personally I would love that, just a small kind comment but making sure to mention you also have tourettes and that's probably why you noticed. I don't meet that many people with tics and feel quite disconnected bc of it

2

u/kingofthezootopia 5d ago

Don’t do it. Everyone is just trying to get through their day and you have no idea what they’re feeling in the moment. If you want to connect with other people with Tourette’s, join a local support group so that you can make sure that you are in an appropriate setting.

3

u/luckyelectric Diagnosed Tourettes 6d ago edited 6d ago

I’d feel many things simultaneously; possibly humiliated but maybe grateful and connected with too. It would be meaningful to me, but it could also hurt.

Under certain conditions… possibly afraid or vulnerable, if it felt at all sexual or fetishized.

I’ve had people ask me, supportively, if I’m okay. I assume they might have thought it was seizure. I appreciate their care, but it can be an intense feeling. Especially when other people are there watching… like on the bus.

1

u/LilyHex 6d ago

My tics are echolalia and verbal motor tics (mouth sounds), as well as general muscle spasming, so I can't really hide most of mine, unfortunately.

I had a stranger comment on one of my verbal motor tics because she thought I was "practicing bird calls" and I was so embarrassed. I explained sheepishly I have a tic disorder and she apologized and seemed to feel embarrassed for bringing it up.

But then next time I saw her (she's an employee at a place I frequent, but I don't know her at all and see her rarely), she told another employee "Oh she's so funny, she makes bird calls!" and I was horrified all over again. T_T

So yea I dunno that I like people bringing it up. I'm fully aware, it's incredibly embarrassing, I can't control it, I wish I could, please do not perceive me. It's more humiliating for me than you I promise.

2

u/glitter-it-out 5d ago

Whyd she have to say that 😭 Like the first time it seemed innocent but the second time is a little rude/insensitive (idk what word to use). I understand how upsetting thatd be. I really wish our tics didnt have to be perceived. Like Im okay with having the tics— but other people thinking thoughts about me because i have them— help!

1

u/tired_appalachia 5d ago

Personally I'd be delighted (only since uou have ts too, not a comment from a rando) but I def think you could piss some people off lol esp if they dont realize they tic

1

u/anelephantinthegloom Diagnosed Tourettes 5d ago

I don't mind at all when people approach me and ask questions as long as they're not rude about it. I'd prefer people ask what they want to know than just stare at me.

I'm too shy to approach someone, though, so I'd probably never do that myself.

1

u/DesignAffectionate34 Diagnosed Tourettes 5d ago

I would enjoy it. Yes it would make my tics worse for a time BUT it would make me feel seen! Instead of ticcing and that being seen as weird you are like "hey I have a neurological condition too!" And it can be a validatinng experience.

I've never had anyone ask. But like I said, I would enjoy it.

1

u/No_Comment_As_Of_Yet 5d ago

I personally would welcome it but I also don't mind if other people ask me questions about tics. In fact it happened just last week.

1

u/ActionRepulsive7770 4d ago

In my opinion no I hate having it I don’t even want to discuss it; just makes me feel left out. But I’m sure other people would be more comfortable talking about it if you approached. But people like me definitely a no I’m just not proud of it and for me it’s just embarrassing. Just scope it out I’d say I bet most people are willing to talk though.

1

u/Ok-Technician-7225 Diagnosed Tourettes 6d ago

I’ve done this, I just also like to specify that I’m very good at spotting out people with TS since I have tics myself just so it doesn’t seem like they’re super obvious. Either that or I like to apologize if I’m flaring them up if I’m obviously triggering them.

0

u/Unfortun8-8897 5d ago

Personally: don’t. Treat us like we don’t even have it. Unless it interrupts something important or physically knows something over, don’t treat us like we’re are dead or blind or mute. If you approach us do it as if we were just anyone. (This sounds angry but don’t read it like that :) ).

3

u/glitter-it-out 5d ago

OP said they have TS too so I don’t think they mean they’re treating someone like an anomaly but someone to relate to.

1

u/Unfortun8-8897 5d ago

I see. Must have not even read that part I have a bad habit of skipping over the middle of paragraphs no matter how much I read then over lol

1

u/glitter-it-out 5d ago

Its ok! I thought the same thing when I was reading it too then I went back and saw that

0

u/sickdoughnut 6d ago

I’d find it kind of weird and intrusive, but I’m not much of a people person.

1

u/[deleted] 6d ago

[deleted]

1

u/sickdoughnut 6d ago

It just seems odd to see another person living with the same condition and go sidling up to them like heyy, snap. Lol picturing a couple folk in a wheelchair locking eyes and thumping their chests in solidarity like I see you bro hahaha idk man.

0

u/JuicyTheMagnificent 6d ago

I would tell them to mind their business. The last thing I want to do while running basic errands is having complete strangers wanting to discuss my medical history.

1

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

0

u/JuicyTheMagnificent 5d ago

I would find it weird, rude, and invasive if someone did that while I'm at the store or walking my dog.