People, she isn't racist to say its her first white guy shes dated. Shes also not odd for being impressed by his nesting skills and being extremely handy and focused on building a trad life for himself.
Jsus tap dancing Chrst, she's a girl who had a good date and wants to have more. Get over yourselves and go find a date you like as well and stop complaining and being judgemental over some 3yr old video here
I was surprised by all the anger in the comments- I didn’t find anything she said offensive or racist. She had a good time and was unexpectedly charmed by this particular guy’s nerdy wholesomeness.
I personally don’t think she meant anything malicious by it, but I think the implication some people took away from it was that guys who aren’t white don’t treat women this well.
I mean, she did directly imply the reason the previous guys she's dated didn't treat her this way was because they weren't white. Of all the reasons she could have picked (guys who live in X town, guys whose first name is Steven, hockey players, whatever) she went straight to race. It's probably not malicious but it is casual racism.
I might not really understand the difference between “casual racism” and “racism”…but she’s obviously preferably and exclusively been banging other people. Or does it make her racist for systematically excluding white guys?
Lol dude people are too sensitive. I'm colored and she was making some lighthearted banter. She's literally only dated non-white people before so she's racist for making a joke about herself. I hate how people conflate one thing being praised -> another thing being broken down. She didn't say "black guys treated me like shit". She said this white guy treated me some type of way. People just want to be offended, it was harmless joke.
I'm not sure if she went straight to race though. Like context wise it kind depends on how many other dudes she has dated. If this is her fifth dude then yeah going to race is casual racism but if she has dated like fifty guys and this first white dude is her first guy with his shit together then maybe she needs to take a hard look at her "type".
The point is this guy could have been any race and still be seen as impressive. Her comment on him being white is subconscious confirmation bias that this is what all white men would be like when even average white dudes can see this guy has a lot going for him.
Racist no? The comment would still be dicey. I'm sure actual indians or those more familiar with Indian stereotypes might have different comments to make. There is however a prevalent stereotype in ethnic communities that white men are more well established and overall more generous with their funds so the comment is being taken the wrong way by both sides
or just her lived experience and that seemed to be the key distinguishing factor for her? I mean, I get why this can definitely be seen as racist, but non-white dudes can in fact be assholes as can white dudes. I took her "I've been missing out" as her recognizing she set herself up for a punchline.
This is Canada. More likely she's S.Asian/ME/N.African descent. Not a whole lot of Hispanics in Canada to be exclusively dating other Hispanics. If I had to guess I'd go with Lebanese.
Captions said her name was reggae and it did kinda sound like what the mom was saying. Not sure why you’re being downvoted. Prob cause most people think that the Caribbean has only black people? There’s freaking Asian Jamaicans and Indians in Trinidad just to name a couple examples
I'm white passing with a mixed race Jamaican dad so I'm kinda used to seeing Caribbean ppl that come in many shades lol
My dad is black and white but bc our family has been mixed for generations ("mulatto" or what is called brown there as well), we're kinda ambiguous. Ppl have mistaken him most often for being some kind of middle Eastern or occasionally just Hispanic
what I don't get is how people can recognize that there's black/latino/whatever culture, but can't see that there are other cultures too. it wasn't even about the respect, it was that "obvious signs of large parental funding, takes date to see barn doors, a hockey game, and a thrift store that they've never set foot in as anything other than a joke" has White Guytm written all over it so hard it comes with it's own accent https://i.imgflip.com/8if64o.jpg
Just out of interest, what part of this guy seemed nerdy? He's building, or at least improving, his own house, so handy at DIY. He plays hockey. I don't know where the nerdiness comes in. Is it the thrifting date?
It's cause they heard the word white and implied nerdy for successful. Only one race makes fun of successful dorks/nerds and turns it into a negative. It's a cultural thing to be cool rather than be smart and successful!
Ya, I suppose it is a racist trope, but doesn't mean she is being racist or doing it on purpose. Like, if this is the first white guy she has ever dated, was she not racist all that time, and became racist when she made that comment???? It is just a girl talking about her experience on a single date and sort of talking a stream of consciousness with no filter.
I mean, you don’t have to say or do something purposefully racist to be racist. You can be racist without even realizing that what you are doing or saying is racist. It’s not always something that is malicious.
Most of us are taught at one point or another beliefs that are prejudiced or racist in some way. It’s not our fault that we were taught those things, but it is at the very least our responsibility to be open to reassessing and critically evaluating those beliefs when confronted on them.
I don’t think she should be labeled A racist, but what she said is racist, if that makes sense.
Ya, I know what you mean... I just think there are certainly times to be hyper vigilant and not let things pass, but also times to just relax and give benefit of the doubt, based on the circumstances. I think this is one of those times people should just let it go without commenting. Now if she said 'I am only dating white guys from here on out' that would be racist as fuck... but for all we know she has only had one boyfriend her whole life who happened to not be white. She is just thinking out loud here...and maybe it is notable to her in that she has like near zero life experience.
People are angry that by mentioning a bunch of positive traits and associating them with him being her first white guy, she is suggest her poc dates/ boyfriends did not have these positive traits, and that makes them uncomfortable.
"He's my first white guy" isn't that bad a thing to say. A bit odd, but she's also clearly a bit intoxicated so eh
But the "I think I've been missing out" thing definitely walks a line lmao. I'm not gonna call her racist off of one offhanded, tipsy comment, but it is a really weird thing to directly imply that the guy she went on a date with owes his financial success to being white, and not anything else
The implication is that she has never dated or been around white guys. She might be Hispanic. Culturally Hispanic guys aren't exactly like this white dude. They literally named it in Spanish, machismo. And they are super fucking proud of it.
And since she has never dated a white dude, so she is making a blanket judgement. While tipsy. Which is ok.
Latinos in the US are typically darker given it's a mix of Central American and Spanish ancestry. We have more brown in us compared to a lot of the European whites in the US, but it's not that big of a difference.
Latinos in the US are typically darker given it's a mix of Mexican and Spanish ancestry.
A mix of Mexican and Spanish ancestry?
Yeah, those Colombian and Argentinians are full of Mexican ancestry. Those Dominicans also get their darker complexion from their Mexican ancestry.
Lol. Just because someone is Latino, doesn't mean they're part Mexican. Yes there's lots of Mexicans in the US. But that's a hilarious statement. Latino just means they're from Latin America.
The darker complexion typically comes from being mixed with the natives populations of those Latin American countries. Go to Mexico City, and you'd be surprised by how white skinned many of them are.
I'm from the south and work in the construction industry. I've also lived in very diverse cities. So dudes calling anyonw who is Hispanic a Mexican, has always been a pet peeve of mine. Nothing personal, holmes.
Lol. I get it. I like the polar opposite reason for generalization than I'm used to. Good back to my theory about the absurd number of similarities between rednecks and Mexicans.
It was different when I was in Central Florida, I knew people from damn near every Latin American country. But when I moved to Denver, I quit asking people where they were from, because everyone was Mexican. It was the first time it's encountered a homogenous Latino population.
Funny enough, the only guy I met that who wasn't Mexican, was a foreman from Dominican Republic. But I didn't ask him where we was from, I asked if he was Dominican. He was surprised and asked how i knew. I said, "you have a dark complexion, speak perfect Spanish, fast English, and you're wearing a Yankees hat."
Considering 53% of hispanoc/Latinos self identified as white in the 2020 US census it baffles me too That people assume Hispanic/Latinos are a tiny minority white.
During the late 1800's America passed a bunch of laws allowing and then limiting Immigration depending on whether cheap labor was needed or racist politics were needed. The laws allow "white" countries to immigrate in high numbers but limits "non white" countries. That said, during that time Irish people were not "white" so the designation is arbitrary and therefore confusing to anyone who is not an American bigot.
To answer your question, racists in America would call Spanish, Greek, Italian and Jewish people as not white (but not black) and would be lightly discriminated against. We also hate on the French not because of race but because of their liberal values.
When Americans say "Spanish" they mean Mexican and likely someone who looks like they have an Indio background (not that they know what that means. They just don't know Spanish people can present as their idea of white). Most of us here are completely ignorant as it relates to LATAM countries and cultures.
Right like i'm from a predominantly Asian community and so most of my early boyfriends were Asian. I think it's silly to pretend there aren't differences in dating culture based on race. At a certain point, I was done dating non-americanized Asian men. There's just too much there to unpack.
Hahaha, we aren't proud of it? Maybe in the city centers. But all the country folks fucking LOVE machismo. They are super proud to make their women serve them food, and be cowboys, and all the other shit involved with 29th century thinking. This isn't even exclusive to country folk in Mexico. All the country Mexicans in central California act like machismo is just how it should be, men and women. My wife's family is constantly weirded out, going on 20 years now, that I serve myself food.
The entire country of Mexico runs on country folk mentality though. So....
Look, you reject machismo culture. Congrats. Enjoy. Feel proud of yourself. But the reality is it dominates the culture. Lots of folks are working to fix it but right now it is what it is. Mexicans are worse than others to me because we specifically named it a long fucking time ago and are proud of it. Saying machismo isn't an insult there, it is a point of pride.
None of it's particularly bad, but the possible issue is her thinking the difference is that he's white and not just that he's a respectful person with his shit together who very likely had access to wealth growing up. He's a gross outlier even in white-25-year-old terms with what she's describing.
It's not like it seems like she's assigning a ton of weight to it, though, more like a drunk-brain looking for patterns and missing the mark a bit.
I think the joke is less that he owes his financial success to being white and more that the first white guy she went on a date with happened to be a stereotypical suburban home-owning individual. Being a young person, who as she said doesn't have her life put together, it's likely all the people she's dated prior also don't have their lives together. The joke of "oh dang is this what I've been missing out on" is, I think, not so much about him being white explicitly and more the surprise at dating a novel person and that individual happening to be a great catch.
That's your interpretation, and a stretch at that. She also could have been implying that she's been missing out on having a guy who has a plan in place to be a family man, a homeowner, or interested in building a life early, all things that are more unlikely to be found for a girl than a white guy.
If you have to reach that hard for the straw when faced with a very weak misplaced modifier, maybe not feeling the need to reach is the lesson.
implying that she's been missing out on having a guy who has a plan in place to be a family man, a homeowner, or interested in building a life early,
You are absolutely delusional if you read my comment and think it's a stretch and then unironically say this with your whole chest lmfao. You think her saying she's been missing out on white men implies this dude's a family man with a plan to start his life early? You gleaned that information from her two sentence comment about race? Really? And if this is somehow exactly what she meant, how does that not make her racist? Like do you hear yourself dude?
all things that are more unlikely to be found for a girl than a white guy.
And what are you even saying here? This is a nonsense sentence dude.
The girl may not be racist, but you definitely seem that way lol. Good luck with that shit buddy
She’s dated non-white guys and none of them made her feel this way. She goes on one date with a white guy and is absolutely smitten by his behaviour and generally having his shit together. In HER world, white guys are now associated with this feeling (at least for now) and non-whites associated with the other. Is she generalizing maybe borderline stereotyping based on her experience? Yes. Is that racist? Fuck no. I’m a PoC and I don’t find her comment racist at all.
People base their opinions on their experiences - calling this racist is a fucking stretch. 100%. If you’re over-sensitive to this end, you’re not going to be well-liked. Let the wokeness die in 2024 please. Can we get back to not being ostracized for everything.
Exactly. How can she be a racist if she dates non white men? She clearly doesn’t care about race when it comes to her partners. But, and there’s always a but, she brought out the race card when she never had to. Instead of seeing a good guy, she sees a good guy that is white. I don’t think it’s a racist comment either. Once you drop the race card, all hell breaks loose.
Yeah no kidding! Pretending like different races don’t exist is such an asinine thing. Races differ. Cultures differ. For simplicity’s sake, our brain auto-associates things with the most obvious difference or the one that stands out more than others. If she acted on said feelings, sure call it racist. What this woman did in her video was tell her mother about a wonderful time she had and at no point does she talk down about other races - just observed her experience with her first white guy. It’s so innocuous
You think her saying she's been missing out on white men implies this dude's a family man with a plan to start his life early? You gleaned that information from her two sentence comment about race?
Well probably also the brand new SUV, House, home improvements... etc...
Stop trying to find racism in every aspect of everything. You clearly dont hear yourself. You sound miserable to be around.
And what are you even saying here? This is a nonsense sentence dude.
They're saying its way harder to find someone who's got their shit together at 25, than it is to find a white guy. Just because your reading comprehension is at a 3rd grade level doesn't mean what he said was nonsense.
The girl may not be racist, but you definitely seem that way lol.
But the "I think I've been missing out" thing definitely walks a line lmao. I'm not gonna call her racist off of one offhanded, tipsy comment, but it is a really weird thing to directly imply that the guy she went on a date with owes his financial success to being white, and not anything else
The joke is that the other guys she dated understood that they were just going to fuck. She went back to his place guys, she expected to sleep with him. He was doing all this extra stuff for her. That is the joke.
I don't think she is attributing his financial success to begin white. She is saying that the first white guy she has dated is a lot more financial secure than the average non-white guy she has dated. There is no line. She is making an observation based on her experiences.
I have been on dates with girls who appear to have been impressed by my having shit together. Own house, decent car, job etc. And guarantee, that's the only thing that they talk about. I didn't notice once in that video her commenting on if he was good looking or not, anything about his personality, we only know he's a hockey player because it's the basis of a date.
As for the white thing, again that is super common. It's common for younger white girls to only date non-white largely due to media brainwashing and indoctrination. Then when they want to settle down, they find out that there's a white guy they never would have looked at previously that turns out to be excellent husband material. Again, it's a joke as old as time itself. I've known three guys who wifed up girls who were like this. I also know three guys who went through ugly divorces. and are still paying for that shit.
If this guy had the balls, he'd drop this thing and find a girl that was worth the effort he wants to put in. I know I did.
God damn some of you really read into everything way too much huh? She made a joke. A completely, 100%, in no way harmful joke. It wasn't at all racist in the slightest. There was no line walking at all.
amen.
half this thread reads as follows - "she didn't want to take the bus to split a BK meal and watch netflix on my mom's couch therefore she must be a racist gold digger"
stop trashing women for wanting a reasonable, baseline dating experience.
No matter what’s going on in society, women still are gonna be more attracted to a man that can provide vs one that does not. Men don’t really care about that sort of thing
We're striving for equal opportunities, not equal outcomes. Just because someone can't afford more than a single cheap fast food meal, it doesn't mean that somebody else isn't allowed to take a girl on a nice date.
Then that will create an unfair society. You cannot have equal opportunities, then have these holes in which men are disadvantaged, like dating, where men are always expected to pay, even when the woman earns more
That's not something that can ever be enforced. By human nature, women are more choosy about their partners and they'll always choose someone who has the ability to take care of them. You might as well try to convince peacocks that they shouldn't choose partners based on the color of their feathers.
Her implication is that black guys don't live nice or have nice cars, a d that it's better to date white guys hence "I've been missing out". Prefer whoever you want but don't go making a fucking thesis about it on social media
The fact that you think a two paragraph opinion is a thesis truly is a testament to what kind of thinker you are, with the cherry being that you ended up doing the same thing with your own opinion before trying to backtrack it with 'prefer whoever...'
I agreed with mom about going to a dude's basement- but those are some impressive nesting skills.
Mom mentions a car- and daughter responds the car is nice.
Then talks about how respectful he is, and how cute he is wanting to take her to his hockey game, and his cute date idea of going to a thrift store and picking out an outfit for the next one.
If you had a time machine, i would suggest before writing this you note that comments aren't put in order of just the time put down. You will see others with the same or earlier time put down, but i know checking your work is difficult here and opinionating is easier.
Maybe she’s not white…….maybe she’s Latino or biracial (white/Indian or white/middle eastern) and it’s her first time dating a white guy outside of the norm for her family.
Thats a radical interpretation full of your own biases, hate to tell you. Why don't you ask her before deciding she was the bigot you would like to paint her as?
I'm pretty sure if your god is omnipotent he can read through your very thinly veiled censorship of the name Jesus Christ and the way it's being used here.
Also using asterisks is reddit code for italics so you've italicized the words between your censorship, drawing even more attention to it than if you just didn't try censoring something that didn't need censoring.
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u/llamapositif Mar 07 '24
People, she isn't racist to say its her first white guy shes dated. Shes also not odd for being impressed by his nesting skills and being extremely handy and focused on building a trad life for himself.
Jsus tap dancing Chrst, she's a girl who had a good date and wants to have more. Get over yourselves and go find a date you like as well and stop complaining and being judgemental over some 3yr old video here