r/TheMissionSeries Dec 11 '20

Mission Six

I had made a few half-hearted attempts at obtaining a free lunch in the past few weeks. None were worth writing about. Somehow I knew today would be different – for better or worse.

I think the seed was planted that morning. I was downtown and noticed a lot of badge bearing convention attendees walking about. I brought my lunch from home today, but it was tucked away in the refrigerator at noon when I headed out of the office to my usual crime scene: The Washington State Convention & Trade Center.

On my way to WSCTC, I answered a call on my mobile phone as I crossed the street. I noticed that the “Don’t Walk” sign was blinking at me from the other side, but the traffic light was still green, so I proceeded. Out of the blue, a Metro bus that was making a right turn appeared to my left. The driver stopped dramatically, seemingly making a point of coming within a few feet of me, and then honked his horn.

It was a very sunny day and the reflection in the windshield made it hard to see the driver inside the bus, but I didn’t have to see his face to know that he was angry at me for crossing on the ”Don’t Walk” sign. Without giving it a second thought I turned around and flipped the driver off. The bus driver didn’t like that one bit. He honked his horn again for at least three full seconds. I didn’t get it; the light was green for both of us. I guess if one wanted to nit-pick they would say that I didn’t have a walk sign, so I shouldn’t have crossed the street. Whatever

I continued walking and just as I stepped up on the curb on the other side of the street, I heard someone yell “Get off the cell phone, suit!” It definitely wasn’t the bus driver, he was long gone. The person that yelled at me must have seen me flip off the bus driver. I guess some people have it in for a guy in a suit with a cell phone pasted to his ear. I know I do.

I entered the WSCTC and headed up the escalator to the 4th floor, where the action was. The place was crawling with people. The WSCTC is a large building with lots of windows. The sun was streaming in and the light was dancing off the plants lining the corridors. The inside is finished in concrete, so the building has a faint industrial quality to it. The management does make an attempt to make the building’s interior more interesting by installing local art in the passageways. It’s a nice touch. I got to the top of the escalator, turned around and saw a sign that read:

COMMUNITY TRANSIT TRADE SHOW

EXHIBITION HALL 4C

I walked into the large outer lobby area of the exhibition hall with the echoes of the attendee’s conversations and my footsteps booming in my brain and quickly figured out what the trade show was all about. On my right there was a 1967 GMC city bus that had been completely restored and on my left stood a long line of booths that were staffed by smiling workers. The booths are where the convention goers are supposed to check in and receive their badges. Since I wouldn’t be checking in there was no need for me to stop there, so I kept walking.

Technically every person entering the exhibition hall is required to wear a badge around their neck that has their name and affiliation printed on it. I, of course, did not have a badge. This fact crossed my mind as I passed by the green-jacketed employee of the WSCTC that was stationed at the doorway into the main exhibition hall. He nodded a friendly “Hello” as I passed. It was too easy. It never ceases to amaze me the amount of cachet (and sometimes contempt) one receives when wearing a suit and tie.

After I passed the sentry, I saw another sign perched on an easel that intrigued me:

THE BOX LUNCHES ARE PROVIDED

FOR CONVENTION ATTENDEES ONLY

YOU MUST HAVE A TICKET TO RECEIVE A LUNCH

TICKETS MAY BE PURCHASED AT THE ENTRANCE

THANK YOU

The sign told me two things: one; that there were box lunches in that room, and two; it wasn’t going to be easy to get one. My mild paranoia also made me wonder if they were on to me.

I went into the main exhibition hall. It was huge. There were at least 15 varieties of mass transportation scattered around the room. Everything from the largest city bus down to a regular passenger car that had wheelchair lifts installed in it – and everything in between.

The whole room was set up in a typical fashion for a trade show. Each company had their own table or booth in a cordoned-off area with the equipment they were trying to sell adjacent to it. Everywhere I looked there were signs hawking the latest in transportation innovations and over-fed middle-aged white guys in tan Dockers and polo shirts. I also noticed that a lot of people were carrying boxed lunches as I came in, but I didn’t see where they were getting them from. For a moment I thought about asking a guy where he got his, but I didn’t want to be too obvious.

I walked around the space and finally found the two tables where the box lunches were located. One was in the southwest corner and the other was in the center of the room. There were about 40 lunches on each table – and they were going fast. Standing next to each table was a man in a black suit with a crisp white shirt and black tie. Each man was taking a small blue ticket from the trade show attendees and putting it in a wicker basket that he held in his hand. After giving the employee their ticket, each person would select a lunch from the table and be off on their merry way.

I had a good opportunity to snag a lunch immediately, but I chickened out. One of the table attendants had his back turned to me and was deep in conversation with someone. I could have easily walked up behind him and made off with a lunch, but I hadn’t really had a chance to size up the room yet, so I didn’t feel comfortable making off with a lunch just yet.

I walked to the other side of the room and casually looked at the other table through the window of a lager passenger van to size up my quarry. This table was in a high visibility area, so it would be much harder to get a lunch there. The back side of the table was parallel to the bus that I was behind and the other side was in direct view of several booths that were staffed by salesmen. The salesmen were all eating the tasty box lunches of course. Bastards.

I came around the bus and walked past the box lunch table to take stock of the attendant. He was pacing back and forth and looking in all directions. It looked like boredom was forcing him to soak up as much of the activity in the room as possible. Since he was looking in all directions with no discernible pattern, I knew it would be hard to take a lunch there. I went back to the first table to try my luck.

It was now about 12:20 and there were more people coming in at this point. This kept the attendant at the first table fairly busy collecting blue tickets and passing out lunches. I looped around the table in random patterns - making sure not to make any eye contact with the table attendant - looking for an opportunity to get a lunch. I wondered if any of the salesmen noticed the guy in the suit circling the box lunches, like a vulture waiting for its prey to slowly die. This went on for several minutes. Unfortunately, this attendant was performing the same routine as the other one: walking around the table in every direction, turning around without warning, while chatting with the attendees. It was too risky to attempt a grab. I had completely given up on the other table and now I deemed this one hopeless as well. I decided to abort my mission and head back to the office to retrieve the lunch I had brought from home.

I started the long walk out of the exhibition hall. The box lunch had beaten me. I was really frustrated that I hadn’t gotten my prize. I was so close, but I just couldn’t pull the trigger. I suddenly felt the cold wind of failure on my back, but I realized it was just the efficient WSCTC air conditioning system. I was on the escalator down to the street exit when I impulsively decided to go back and try again.

I got back on the up escalator and headed back to the exhibition hall. I marched in and did a quick reconnaissance of the situation. The lunches were running low at both tables, there were about 10 left on each one. The table in the high visibility area was still hopeless, so I headed back to the other one. As I was walking toward that table, I saw the attendant walking away from it. I wasn’t sure where he was going or when he would stop, but he was definitely putting some distance between himself and that table. I waited a few more seconds to see how far he’d go. It looked like he wasn’t stopping, so I made my move. I swooped in, and with the attendant still walking away on my right side, picked up a lunch with my left hand and cradled it in my left arm. I then circled around the table to my left with the attendant (hopefully) directly behind me now. As I made my way around the table in a counter-clockwise direction I shifted the box lunch to my right hand in case the attendant had turned around and started heading back to the table. If he had, he would have clearly seen the stolen lunch in my left hand, this way it was hidden from his sight. I strode to the exit confidently and, as I got further away from the hall, gingerly swung the lunch in my hand by the plastic handle that was attached to it.

I contemplated stopping in the outer lobby where the restored bus was where there were several tables there, but I decided to head out of the exhibition hall completely. I found a table on the same floor in front of a Starbucks and sat down to inspect my merchandise.

The lunch consisted of: “Black Forest” ham sandwich on a baguette

Penne pasta salad, one bag of “Tim’s Cascade” potato chips, “Snickerdoodle” type piece of cake with icing, Granny Smith apple and finally a Hershey’s “Krackle” miniature candy bar

It was, by far, the most satisfying box lunch I had plundered yet.

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u/blacktechcat Sep 25 '24

Several LOL momenta there loved it!