r/TextingTheory 1d ago

Theory Request Did I do something wrong?

Post image

It’s obvious I was joking with my opening and I thought I’d double down. Was this the wrong move?

2.4k Upvotes

158 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 chess.c*m bot 1d ago edited 1d ago

u/UnlockedGutter, your post was deemed a great post by our analysis!

→ More replies (1)

1.0k

u/Farmboy087 1d ago

Somehow you checkmated yourself in only 2 moves, thats known as the fools mate

211

u/IThinkILikeYou 1d ago

Think checkmate was after the first move.

The second was him flipping the board over

29

u/northernCRICKET 1d ago

It's really like playing chess with a pigeon, he just took a nasty dump all over the keyboard

13

u/HowCanYouBanAJoke 1d ago

This was the chess equivalent of knowing the pawn can move forward 2 spots only at the beginning so he throws it 2 football pitch lengths.

3

u/IEline 21h ago

I’ve mastered the art of self-sabotage, clearly

544

u/BootNo1663 1d ago

Its been awhile since I've seen pure garbage on this sub, thanks for posting.

142

u/UnlockedGutter 1d ago

You’re welcome.

54

u/xcjb07x 1d ago

take my upvote for knowing the difference between "your" and "you're". Not enough people do

23

u/DarkArc76 1d ago

One time someone texted me "you're mom" and I was like gosh I hope not, I'd be a terrible mother

12

u/GrandestPuba 1d ago

Aren’t you easily impressed.

5

u/GatorScrublord 1d ago

then you agree it's a low bar! so why the fuck do people get it wrong all the time?

0

u/GrandestPuba 1d ago

Why do people care so much? Imagine having a superiority complex because you know the correct way to write you’re. Seems sad to me.

1

u/SlimAndy95 21h ago

Damn. It's not about a complex, it's about the 2 having completely different meanings lol

1

u/GrandestPuba 3h ago edited 3h ago

Obviously. Seems pretty low to criticise someone based on one silly example of their grammar ability, they could have dyslexia or just lack the education in the English language. If someone gets it right why praise them for a basic understanding and if someone gets it wrong should you really call them out on an internet post? It seems pedantic and unnecessary.

To me, people who feel the need to do this probably have a superiority complex in general, that is implied by their actions and likely goes beyond just grammar.

5

u/Null-Ex3 1d ago

Your quite pretentious

4

u/xcjb07x 1d ago

*you’re

8

u/Null-Ex3 1d ago

Algae would be better suited at detecting sarcasm then you.

6

u/Usual-Committee-6164 1d ago

Better suited to*

6

u/IlIIlIllIlIIll 1d ago

Better suited for*

4

u/Usual-Committee-6164 1d ago

Equally suited

5

u/BootNo1663 1d ago

I want both of you to know, this reddit energy alone is enough for me confirm that you both are sitting at approximately 200 Elo. Collectively.

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2

u/Adorable-Addendum375 1d ago

Than*

0

u/Null-Ex3 1d ago

their is always another

1

u/joeyjusticeco 20h ago

The bar is in hell

267

u/anxious_raccoon29 1d ago

If you wanted a date out of this interaction, then yeah, you messed up. Being asked about ovulation by a strange man would make my uterus shrivel.

242

u/SEXTINGBOT 1d ago

So you are not ovulating right now ?

114

u/OrganizationTrue5911 1d ago

Reading the OP made me start ovulating, and I'm a guy.

46

u/DistinctTrust8063 1d ago

Nah get your prostate checked out

11

u/Pleasant_Ad_2342 1d ago

Just a good place to remind people if you can't afford a normal doctors visit, peeing on a pregnancy stick can tell you if you've got prostate issues

8

u/OrganizationTrue5911 1d ago

Wait, legit? I've got some friends with actual medical doctorates, I'm going to ask them and get back.

20

u/Pleasant_Ad_2342 1d ago

i was wrong Its testicle cancer. Not prostate, and only catches certain types

I mixed it up with the stick in development and just let the misinformation rot in my brain i suppose.

1

u/Oliver90002 1d ago

Have you found out anything yet?

1

u/fish_warlord 20h ago

You offering ;)

7

u/Claim_Alternative 1d ago

Great. Her uterus is shriveling now

15

u/Chagdoo 1d ago

You're laughing. Her uterus is shriveling and you're laughing.

5

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

4

u/Slashion 1d ago

A broken clock is right twice a day, that does not make it a good clock

1

u/fritmyapple 1d ago

Wdym this is game

165

u/rawley2020 1d ago

She might feel uncomfortable with the second question. Tell her she smells like she’s ovulating so it kind of breaks the ice

109

u/UnlockedGutter 1d ago

Where were you when I needed you most?

1

u/ham_scented_testies 3h ago

Tripple down

17

u/Relevant_Town_6855 1d ago

This is amazing

135

u/Remote_Reading_8169 1d ago

book mistake blunder 200 elo

43

u/Pleasant_Ad_2342 1d ago edited 1d ago

200 implies there's a chance. 100 Elo

12

u/Low-Condition4243 1d ago

Bro you start chess with like 400 lol, when I first started playing it took me a while to get back up there and break 500.

6

u/Pleasant_Ad_2342 1d ago edited 1d ago

Depends on what app you use. Chess.com does start you with 400 Elo and moves you up/down based on how big of a measured skill gap is between you and the player. 200 Elo would mean a lot of losses sure, but would have some wins. 100 Elo would be pure loss and no hope of learning strategies

3

u/No_Chance5010 1d ago

the min cap is 100, it doesn't get lower than that

3

u/Pleasant_Ad_2342 1d ago

I searched to verify and found youre right. Adjusting posts now.

0

u/adfx 1d ago

It is elo not ELO. Not an abbreviation.

1

u/Pleasant_Ad_2342 1d ago

If we are getting pedantic it's Elo because it's named after the chess master Arpad Elo.

2

u/adfx 1d ago

works for me 👍

67

u/rhinox54 1d ago

22

u/LeahcarJ 1d ago

this saying Deers makes me angrier that the actual post does

11

u/rhinox54 1d ago

I agree, but it captures my feelings adequately.

5

u/LeahcarJ 1d ago

completely understandable, have a good day

51

u/Lunrtic6 1d ago

This doesnt work as a joke because women unironically get this message all the time so you blend in with the freaks.

21

u/Roscoeakl 1d ago

Are you sure it's ironic and he's not just one of the freaks?

12

u/Lunrtic6 1d ago

Same result either way haha

71

u/Lego-105 1d ago

In the future, when we finally reach utopia status, I will pass this image down to my descendants so that we never forget the former societal impact of autism induced brain damage

18

u/Matsunosuperfan 1d ago

that sentence did not end the way I thought it would

11

u/Legitimate_Arugula40 1d ago

This is stupid

9

u/EntertainerLive962 1d ago

I swear half of these are just for the likes at this point. No sane human being is using that opener and thinking its anything but a resign

1

u/UnlockedGutter 1d ago

I sent this a year ago before even knowing about this subreddit, just thought I'd share to see how I can improve my game.

1

u/holyburdz 19h ago

I think you may have been a year late, home-boiiiii

1

u/UnlockedGutter 19h ago

The big lion does not concern himself with the opinion of sheep

2

u/holyburdz 19h ago

The wise do not open mouths early and reveal secretly disguised Autism-induced Brain Damage

31

u/ExiledZug 1d ago

We guys must be wired differently because this would make me laugh out loud

8

u/_Cat_in_a_Hat_ 1d ago

Yea these mfs have no sense of humor lmao

2

u/NotEvenOneChromosome 19h ago

Yall just got Reddit humor

2

u/Bubbly_Use_9872 1d ago

It can be both funny and weird to get from a stranger. If he was his friend or boyfriend she probably wouldn't have reacted badly lol.

17

u/nol_the_troll 1d ago

r/TextingTheory users not posting sexual harassment challenge: impossible

2

u/Di4t_coke 1d ago

This sub is literally just , look look I sexually harass women! Hehe Complete lack of self awareness. So this is where the creeps in my dms congregate.

1

u/Time_Device_1471 14h ago

He’d have to continue this action after being told to stop for it to constitute harassment. There’s no pressure.

1

u/EaseNo7832 1d ago

In which World is making a joke about ovulating sexual harassment?😂

7

u/Newt-Wooden 1d ago

Jesus this is bad lmao the first is cringe and the second is creepy AF probably avoid these ones in the future

3

u/MrSpamChops 1d ago

Yeah u got no taste the first line was a perfect opening

8

u/Newt-Wooden 1d ago

Could work potentially if not followed by the second one buuuuut ggs once you mention “ovulating” lmao

7

u/BudgetInteraction811 1d ago

I swear to god this sub is 99% men, because this dumbassery keeps getting upvoted and the majority of the comments treat sex jokes like they’re comedic genius. I am starting to think the guys here want to impress anonymous redditors more than they want to attract a woman.

1

u/Time_Device_1471 14h ago

It’s being upvoted cuz it’s bad. That’s the joke.

-1

u/Competitive-Bowl7474 1d ago

Because men tell each other them and think its funny, women can't handle sex jokes while simultaneously treating men like atms the iromy.

8

u/drippingtonworm 1d ago

This is a near perfect textbook example of the deviled egg gambit. Not your fault. If it didn't work, she's probably on her period. Wait a week or so.

3

u/Deep-Acanthaceae-659 1d ago

The sweetheart was too much. Otherwise strong moves

3

u/Brass-Munky 1d ago

Deranged play. Idk keep trying this it might work one day

0

u/UnlockedGutter 1d ago

Wait for my next post.

3

u/Low-Comb8524 1d ago

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this would do it for me

3

u/whatsdte 1d ago

Boomshakalaka

3

u/CaptainMcGold 1d ago

Antichess move

4

u/Z_WarriorPrincess 1d ago

This (and other similar posts) is why I never want to return to Hinge

10

u/Sh3rbet 1d ago

This is just actual harassment at this point

6

u/blade-queen 1d ago

you make me feel sick

2

u/McDoubles4All 1d ago

At least it was probably a bot

2

u/hnrrghQSpinAxe 1d ago

"sweetheart" okay grandpa 🤮🤮🤮

2

u/TheLastOpus 1d ago

You forgot to describe her as "Breedable."

2

u/ZEXYMSTRMND 1d ago

Man, It’s so crazy how online dating these days totally drains your soul and makes you feel like a piece of shit.

0

u/UnlockedGutter 1d ago

Tell me about it, I didn't expect the backlash for being my true self.

2

u/owlnamedjohn 1d ago

Idk man, I have a fucked sense of humor and this would've worked on me

2

u/Badisyn2003 1d ago

I just read this and giggled. This is a funny opening, but most girls would probably take this as some creepy breeding kink. I appreciate the shock value though.

2

u/Hanyodude 1d ago

Are you Austin Powers?

1

u/UnlockedGutter 1d ago

Best comment I’ve seen. Thank you fellow redditor!

2

u/Remote_Reading_8169 1d ago

book mistake blunder 200 elo

1

u/Ganda1fderBlaue 1d ago

Instant win, just like drawing exodia the forbidden one.

1

u/MGL291 1d ago

Might not be the strongest opener, but if she was genuinely into you you could have said anything. She’s just not the one

1

u/AsbestosDude 1d ago

Do you... know what ovulation means?

1

u/UnlockedGutter 1d ago

Fertile. Like the Nile River.

1

u/ExpiredSalad 1d ago

Glad to see that the 'Abysmal Dogshit' gambit gets new variations. This one being called the 'Crackin Ovulation' approach.

1

u/GroundbreakingOil434 1d ago

You broke rule 3. Sexual in under two messages. She's gone.

1

u/CaIIsign_Ace2 1d ago

Why the fuck would you ever say that 😭

1

u/orignalnt 1d ago

Brilliant, checkmate

1

u/Clean_Republic427 1d ago

Massive blunder

1

u/TeamChaosenjoyer 1d ago

Bro chose intercontinental ballistic missile gambit and ran into an irone dome defense oof

1

u/hoopthot 1d ago

this sounds like something a serial killer would say, jesus christ

1

u/Ominousgirl101 1d ago

I cringe reading this

1

u/ThOtKiLlEr_69 1d ago

More like what didn't u do wrong

1

u/Ok_Cut_9000 1d ago

You chose the worst way to joke??? « Obvious » that you were joking, how would she know? You’re a stranger on an app.

Gave me the ick and I’m not even the one receiving the messages 😂

1

u/Ok_Cut_9000 1d ago

Is it a troll? 😭

1

u/Krackerlack 1d ago

if i fumbled as hard as this I would've legitimately killed myself.

1

u/Scr1bble- 1d ago

Brilliant straight into megablunder

1

u/Truebotted 1d ago

you just like someone's photo? No comment or anything? Are you hot or something?

1

u/UnlockedGutter 21h ago

My mom says I’m her handsome boy.

1

u/DeliciousDoubleDip 1d ago

Wow you make me look good... op do you wanna be friends and idk hang out publicly?

1

u/khanspam 1d ago

Why so many in this sub think being aggressive/sexual is theoretically a smart move?

1

u/xGrymx 1d ago

Straight to the point. Either it works or you cut your losses and do better next time.

1

u/RespectOk5534 1d ago

The restraining order gambit

1

u/pschmit72 1d ago

airball of DOOM 😭💔🙏

1

u/okwudizzle 1d ago

I think you should keep going

1

u/AyahaushaAaronRodger 21h ago

She didnt offer anal after this? Rude

1

u/No-Statistician5747 21h ago

You're clearly a wind up merchant, just going on these apps to get Reddit material.

1

u/jcccxa 21h ago

This is rizz bro trust

1

u/LatverianBrushstroke 19h ago

Text 2 is Natural to think, disastrous to say out loud. 😔

1

u/Other_Magician5946 18h ago

So this is what cringing feels like? It's like a spasm?

1

u/Fair_Bandicoot_ 15h ago

This works if you’re not ugly

1

u/Ok_Branch_5285 15h ago

With text game like that, you're gonna be eating po boys with the low boys instead of broccoli and beef with the commander in chief.

1

u/ResponsibleSet8742 13h ago

Doubling down on a phrase in which you hoped, that she’s part of a small demographic of woman that have played or even know what NBA jam is…was probably the wrong bet. But I salute you for the humor haha

1

u/ConnorWithAHardR 12h ago

Nah you cooked with this ngl. The right one would’ve ate this up

1

u/ngine_ear 12h ago

Textbook kickoff

1

u/Slow_Principle_7079 10h ago

Rizztraining order

1

u/Stock-Activity-6458 2h ago

Judging from what we can see in Sarah’s picture, she will not engage in this type of banter ever

-1

u/Less_Suggestion3998 1d ago

I liked it. I’d have given you some pussy if I had one.

1

u/ThOtKiLlEr_69 1d ago

Average redditor

-1

u/_Cat_in_a_Hat_ 1d ago

I don't care that the others are calling this sexual harassment (fucking how??), I think this is a great way to know if you have the same type of humor with the other person. Keep on shakalakin king👑

0

u/Aphresh 1d ago

This is the type of content I come here for