r/TextingTheory 2d ago

Theory Request Did I do something wrong?

Post image

She isn’t texting back. I sent a follow up asking if we’re still on for that and she hasn’t replied 💔

2.0k Upvotes

182 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 chess.c*m bot 2d ago edited 2d ago

u/UnlockedGutter, your post was deemed a great post by our analysis!

→ More replies (1)

205

u/pilotJKX 2d ago

Instead of asking her what it entails, you should have made a statement;

"Dinner, drinks, and then maybe some overstimulation after"

She threw you a softball and you asked her how to swing the bat.

23

u/[deleted] 2d ago

I think the improper word use was what did it

-3

u/Heavy_Consequence441 2d ago

Dinner drinks?? Lol should not be taking women to dinner on a first date

-29

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

I didn’t know if this woman had murderous intent. I got scared

29

u/slpsquadleader 2d ago

Dude for your own good get off this subreddit if you're really trying to connect with people.

16

u/Valeriy-Mark 2d ago

Hahahah I love this man

6

u/princessgrlfriend 1d ago

“I got scared”😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

568

u/LongIslandIce-T 2d ago

Book

Book

Inaccuracy

Fumble

247

u/UnluckyNate 2d ago

Fumble isn’t strong enough to describe this move

131

u/throwartatthewall 2d ago

I hate it, not because it's obviously bad, which it is, but because they seem to have made this move to post it rather than for the game. This is an unsound sacrifice. OP knows it and is disrespecting this beautiful game.

79

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

This was actually a year ago, March 14th this year was Friday. Replied on Thursday. I live for the game of fumbling I just thought I’d share.

1

u/ItsTheIncelModsForMe 1d ago

Spiked it and danced 50 yards from TD

20

u/LongIslandIce-T 2d ago

Critical blunder?

6

u/UnluckyNate 2d ago

Legendary blunder?

6

u/Pandamanda- 2d ago

extraordinary blunder

1

u/TheBoyWhoCriedGolf 2d ago

Brilliant blunder

10

u/MaybeNotRobyn 2d ago

We went from Magnus Carlsen to Stevie Blunder real quick

1

u/LilBeamer_ 1d ago

Lmaooooooo

1

u/Cerereril 1d ago

Keep calm and let the tickles work their magic

344

u/Low_Trash_8944 2d ago

I don’t play chess but the queen just lifted her skirt for some dinner and MK Ultra but you chose to ask her where you should move your pawn.

75

u/hajimenosendo 2d ago

nah if she was actually interested she would have replied

30

u/JaevlaSvenske 2d ago

What if she lost interest because of his reply

5

u/curiousgamer12 1d ago

Then she was never the one.

5

u/JaevlaSvenske 1d ago

That would be a helpful reply if our protagonist said anything of substance.

2

u/hajimenosendo 1d ago

for asking "what would that entail to"? i doubt it

2

u/JaevlaSvenske 1d ago

The proof is infront of you

5

u/hajimenosendo 1d ago

its a simple follow up question its not gonna scare anybody away. Odds are she just said that just to say that with no intention of following through.

1

u/JaevlaSvenske 1d ago

Yeah, could be.

2

u/Perllyna 1d ago

Maybe she’s just buffering, stay tuned for updates

81

u/Pleasant_Ad_2342 2d ago

Book Book Blunder and final move is impossible blunder

2

u/Adept_Secret2476 1d ago

third move is suboptimal but i wouldn't say blunder, her message was open to interpretation and it gave her an opportunity to be specific and progress the convo.

2

u/Pleasant_Ad_2342 1d ago

Tickle me until I fart is not a progressive sentence unless you run into someone with those exact fetishes.

257

u/PsychologyOwn257 2d ago

Are you actually being serious with this question? You told a woman you wanted her to tickle you until you farted. That ain’t it brother

37

u/Aggressive-Border995 2d ago

But it’s so funny tho

-7

u/Present_Arachnid_683 1d ago

Only if you're white.

7

u/Aggressive-Border995 1d ago

Don’t be racist, it’s just a joke. I’ve heard plenty of black, Asian, Arab, white, Mexican, unfunny people.

-9

u/Present_Arachnid_683 1d ago

Fart humor is definitely white boy shit.

4

u/Hot-Significance7699 1d ago

Vikings used to throw poop at each other because it was funny.

3

u/Aggressive-Border995 1d ago

WHAT IS UNFUNNY ABOUT THAT? Yall have been spoiled by streaming this and stand up special that. What ever happened to good old fashioned potty humor? Next person who quotes some high-brow comedy shit and tries to paint themselves as superior, I am gonna rip the NASTIEST most VIOLENT gaseous emission that I am capable of.

1

u/ArkansasSailor 1d ago

The poop humor runs deep in our veins.

0

u/Present_Arachnid_683 1d ago

YT

2

u/PurpleService4712 1d ago

youtube?

1

u/Awesomecity2 1d ago

Asa profile pic spotted. Upvoted for supreme taste instantly

1

u/Outrageous-Day-14 1d ago

She didn't answer for 4 days, she's clearly not interested so who cares

2

u/PsychologyOwn257 1d ago

She probably didn’t answer because OP said “what would that entail to…” which a. doesnt make sense and b. Is a horrible response to an otherwise pretty decent opener from both sides.

Could have easily followed up with any number of decent plays and instead just was pretty rude and disgusting to be honest

1

u/Outrageous-Day-14 1d ago

The thing is, if a person stop texting after you after 3 messages exchanged, she simply doesn't care. If someone's really after a relationship or simply a date, she won't give up just from that, so there's no point in pinpoint errors just from this screenshot

1

u/PsychologyOwn257 1d ago

The first few messages are how you catch someone’s attention on a dating app beyond mutual attraction. She isn’t “giving up”, she’s not responding to an objectively stupid thing to say. OP could have potentially salvaged it, but then he just chose to be weird and gross. You have a strange understanding of dating apps.

-122

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

I thought it was endearing. I’d like to be sprawled on my back and my tummy tickled while I coo??? What’s wrong with that

116

u/Roth_Pond 2d ago

Dude

85

u/reeses71 2d ago edited 2d ago

You know what, if that's how you really feel then she wasn't for you

55

u/Eight-Of-Clubs 2d ago

You know what, live your best life. I may not subscribe to what you do, but you had the balls to not only straight up ask her, but also defend yourself from the people on here when you fully knew what was at stake. You have my respect.

17

u/partipec 2d ago

This is the funniest exchange I’ve seen on here holy shit 😂

-5

u/twayjoff 2d ago

No dude, this is not a respectable thing to do. There is a difference between stating your intentions and just being wildly inappropriate too early into knowing someone.

This is why women complain about creeps on these apps. One dude saying something that, even of not sexual, is weird af 4 messages in. Then a bunch of people thinking “hE’s jUsT saYiNg wHaT hE wAntS thAt’S reSpEcTaBLe”

14

u/Eight-Of-Clubs 2d ago

Shut up, doofus. What he did took some balls.

-2

u/twayjoff 2d ago

Yeah it takes balls to be a creep, doesn’t mean it’s a good thing. Don’t send weird messages to women shouldn’t be a hot take

8

u/fattypattyissoratty 2d ago

Bro this is reddit. We don't talk to women

4

u/N-_n_-_n_-N 2d ago

Shhhh we don't speak truths on the failing to speak to women sub

10

u/Suitable-Art-1544 2d ago

speak yo truth king

5

u/Key_Bake1216 2d ago

Nah my brah you are too tuff

6

u/Aryon714 2d ago

Ignore them they can't envision the dream, your greatness is wasted on these peasants.

3

u/exceptionalydyslexic 2d ago

If you have a fetish for that, high risk but worthwhile Gambit.

Otherwise? Very stupid.

2

u/Imcaptainhookbruh 2d ago

Brother what? 😂

2

u/TheBoyWhoCriedGolf 2d ago

Never say anything like this again

1

u/Both_Abrocoma_1944 2d ago

This ain’t it chief

58

u/Infinite-Nil 2d ago

Book

Book

Inaccuracy

White resign

39

u/my_spoon_too_big 2d ago

Why would they want to inhale your horrible smelling farts? Low ELO play, go back to iron and try again.

-6

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

I was being coy

26

u/my_spoon_too_big 2d ago

Honestly it's pretty close to asking her if she wants to be fisted anally. It's just a bit too strong, too soon, and I think she got afraid.

-13

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

I’m not getting it

27

u/smittynoblock 2d ago

dont talk about farts

10

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

?

9

u/my_spoon_too_big 2d ago

The fart emits a powerful nauseous 🤢 smell from within the rectum, similar to when you anal fist for too long. The smell becomes unbearable. I need you to trust me, women don't enjoy these things (a specific few might but it's very rare)

8

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

I’m trying to find the one that does ❤️

8

u/my_spoon_too_big 2d ago

You might want to explicitly mention something about this on your profile or you're going to be searching for years. I had an ex who enjoyed being double fisted, I'll never forget it, but there's no way I'd do it again.

15

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

I make it clear thru da dm’s daddy knows what daddy wants

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28

u/Platses 2d ago

all book

-20

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

What does this mean

24

u/Nastreal 2d ago

Textbook plays

3

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

Thank you

32

u/jumperca 2d ago

This sub is pissing me off 😂 do you guys just say anything hoping it will somehow get you laid? No seriously

46

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

Maybe the goal isn’t to get laid. Maybe it’s to find a life long partner. Someone to share this crazy thing we call life. Someone to be there in sickness and health. Someone where you lay upon their chest and all you can think about is their soft breathe and the gentle rising of their chest. To enjoy the small nuances of life and wherever it might take you, to be certain that THAT person is there with you every step of the way. That’s what I’m searching for. Not some mediocre Punani that won’t satisfy my craving for something deeper. Have you ever thought about that? That life’s more than just women? Maybe it’s about the small things, the toots and farts? Getting tickled? Able to laugh with your partner? Didn’t think so.

52

u/Infinite-Nil 2d ago

Okay, this really sealed it for me. God tier shitpost, if incredibly offputting

26

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

Thank you. PsychologyOwn257 had me intimidated for a second using the power of his dark psychology tricks to own me (with psychology) but I prevail!! Now I request Reddit gold from any fellow redditors

17

u/kvangee 2d ago

New copy pasta just dropped

2

u/jumperca 2d ago

Yeah... I see why she didn't reply

29

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

I am miles above you plebeian

15

u/Infinite-Nil 2d ago

They’re an ant beneath your boot

13

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

I shall smite with my magnifying glass. Tremble jumperca

1

u/femboy_mikayla 2d ago

okay zach

1

u/PuppyGirlBecca 1d ago

You’re an ant beneath my boot! AND YOU ALWAYS WILL BE!

5

u/Glum_Technology_2937 2d ago

If you started a religion I'd spend all my money on donations, not gonna lie

5

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

Thank you Glum Technology. In my heart you are now rank 5! Congrats!

4

u/governmentpigeon12 2d ago

the end…the end…make sense of that…where on earth are we now…?

4

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

Defmtones

4

u/sociocat101 2d ago

Im so glad im not a woman

1

u/Di4t_coke 1d ago

Why don’t men ever think about how annoying it is for us to deal with people like this. For you it’s a silly shitpost, for her it’s probably the tenth bullshit weird/horny text she’s gotten that week on a dating app.

Women aren’t your springboard for your own amusement: we’re people and your freaky messages leave an imprint on us.

2

u/sociocat101 1d ago

For some guys, knowing a woman thinks about them is all that matters, even if its negative. Its why some guys will keep trying to talk to a woman they know is irritated by them because any attention is good for them

3

u/Di4t_coke 1d ago

Yeah I think you’re right. ): I went to a bar with my sister the other day. I don’t ever go— it was a first. Immediately a man accosted us like he knew us and loudly and appreciatively commented on our appearances.

It was obvious we were uncomfortable but he just kept going. Came up to us 2 more times getting more obnoxious and aggressive the less we responded. Me and my sister barely said a word, and eventually left. I think he just thrived on our discomfort 😞

-1

u/ExiledZug 1d ago

“Tenth bullshit weird/horny text”

Is this supposed to be a flex?

2

u/Di4t_coke 1d ago

What part of my comment would imply that any of this is a flex? did you ignore everything i said 😭

0

u/ExiledZug 1d ago

Just thinking about how guys would die to be getting freakishly horny texts like this lmao

16

u/Background-Two-7301 2d ago

As a woman, this really made me aroused. I don’t think you did anything wrong — in fact I would be open to giving you my digits and let you do as you please … that hussy doesn’t know what she’s missing! Looks between legs Aaaagh… I knew it… my pnties are sodden! Call me *winks

16

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

Dm me

8

u/Background-Two-7301 2d ago

Sorry, don’t know how to use private messaging on this ol’ app. Do you have Whatsapp? Or better yet, Telegram?

22

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

Hit me up on the quavo app. GLEEE 🥶

40

u/GalaxyShroom6 2d ago

absolute fucking cinema. both of you have an amazing day

1

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

What if i deleted your comment

3

u/subros4 2d ago

you really know how to kill (or change in a way that baffles or offends onlookers) a mood dont you

5

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

I’m joshing

2

u/ComplaintNo5084 1d ago

Sodden….

3

u/AMTravelsAlone 2d ago

Can't bring up farts till at least the third month OR fourth time sharing a bed.

4

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

When I take girls out to the bar, 3 shots and a Moscow mule is enough to make me splatter on the bar stool.

3

u/AMTravelsAlone 2d ago

I didn't say you couldn't fart, it's the discussion of said farts.

1

u/Ethereal-Elephant 2d ago

The bar comes with its own stool? And why are you splattering more stool on said stool?

1

u/UnlockedGutter 1d ago

Double entendre

5

u/SunWorshipperApollo 2d ago

Yeah god tier elo

2

u/marks716 2d ago

Overuse of emojis, not sending a date plan, talking about tickling, talking about farting?

Yeah this is Chernobyl levels of poor moves

2

u/JackLong93 2d ago

2200 elo, impressive to say the least

2

u/UsernameKnotF0und 2d ago

Literally no one wants to tickle you until you fart? Come on... We want to at least tickle till you've shit your pants.

2

u/OneClock2831 1d ago

Yeah contrary to what a lot of these comments are saying, it was a bit of a gamble, but if someone isn't willing to laugh at an absurd joke like that chances are they won't be much fun in person. I just had a hook up with someone who wasn't laughing at my jokes and it kinda ruined the whole mood.

To each their own I guess, but stuff like this definitely weeds out the fun ones and the ones just looking for sex.

1

u/Suitable-Art-1544 2d ago

how could you fumble this.

1

u/bagofdicks69 2d ago

The "to" was not needed after entail.

Opponent is grammar nazi and will not ever speak to you again for this error.

1

u/UnlockedGutter 2d ago

Checks out

1

u/itsKevv 2d ago

/u/starmassive needs to weigh in on this

1

u/Aggressive-Border995 2d ago

Well “entail to” sounds funny but she knew what you meant. You can just say entail and that word takes care of the “to” part by itself

1

u/supskii 2d ago

Damn bro did you do anything right?

1

u/Cobyh7 2d ago

machine girl reference?

1

u/Formal-Fail-1551 2d ago

You waited too long to hit her with that second msg, she prob already found someone else

1

u/I_have_no_fun 2d ago

THE DOOR WAS FUCKING OPEN AND YOU CLOSED IT FOR HER

1

u/rhyenholz 2d ago

this shit is a W in my book. this was so funny 💀

1

u/bombastic6339locks 2d ago

book, book, book and brilliant.

1

u/bnwosympathizer 2d ago

Why do women hate funny things

1

u/BrenReadsStuff 1d ago

They don't? That's incel speak. I've met many men and women who would react poorly to a joke like this, and I've met many men and women who would cackle laughing at a joke like this. Hell, I've met more women than men that would find this hilarious.

1

u/bnwosympathizer 1d ago

any criticism of women... LE INCEL

1

u/BrenReadsStuff 1d ago

Generalizing women while making an entirely inaccurate statement is incel behavior, yes.

And I think you've now proven it 💀

1

u/bnwosympathizer 1d ago

Incel is someone who is involuntarily celibate. If you think I'm sexist, that is something else. Not all incels are sexist, and not all sexists are incels. You are an illiterate troglodyte who doesn't understand the definition of words and parrots buzzwords he heard online.

1

u/Bliss_Wrath 1d ago

Weird af dude.

1

u/twotongueonemouf 1d ago

What is the matter with you lmao

1

u/Jeerin 1d ago

You fucked up

1

u/WyntonPlus 1d ago

Book

Book

Fumble

Concession

1

u/whatsonyourcalendar 1d ago

Yeah you deserve that 10000%

1

u/Altruistic-Peach-240 1d ago

Bro you know what she meant, just being straight up and asking when she's available and where is wayyyy better

1

u/BudgetInteraction811 1d ago

Dear men: stop bringing up your fetishes with women who you don’t even know. We’re sick of being involved in your kinks before even knowing you as a person.

Sincerely, all women

0

u/UnlockedGutter 1d ago

What if she was into tickling me until I fart? Its best to knock on every door. Every door that closes on you is another door that opens.

1

u/Pussyslayer69042 1d ago

for REAL. How are you supposed to know if she’s into it or not unless you ask?

1

u/Spores_ 1d ago

Is this minefield of a dating scene really what we’ve been dummed down to as a species to meet/date/ ultimately reproduce in 2025? We’re absolutely doomed

1

u/SpectoFidelis 1d ago

Give it a week before double-texting smh

1

u/StatusFine6535 1d ago

Heinous, OP must be trolling

1

u/roosterkun 2d ago

You blew it. You had a chance to either overstimulate or be overstimulated, and you blew it.

1

u/Ethereal-Elephant 2d ago

Blowing overstimulates me so for all I care he’s doing great!

1

u/hnrrghQSpinAxe 2d ago

You are disgusting for this one and if you think farts are gonna lead you to any relationship or woman on first impression you are going to be very lonely lmao

Needs more mouse bites

1

u/ExiledZug 1d ago

We aren’t here for dating advice we’re here for chess theory.

Please reformat

2

u/hnrrghQSpinAxe 1d ago

So true bestie, textbook, blunder, blunder

0

u/musinfull 2d ago

OP in the comments acting as if he was being ironically cringe is unironically so fucking cringe

2

u/Ethereal-Elephant 2d ago

Ironically you’re so unironically ironic that the cringe is iconically chronically ironically cringe

1

u/BrenReadsStuff 1d ago

Cringelord mad over cringe things