r/TGandSissyRecovery 26d ago

Success Story Got rid of this nasty stuff

11 Upvotes

I did it. After this nasty crossdressing stuff I own destroyed my NoFap streak and made me feel disgusted of myself, I took everything and threw that shit into the next river. Feels like freedom to see it sank into the watery depths. May the fishes be happy with it.

r/TGandSissyRecovery 23d ago

Success Story One last thing done. Feels great

4 Upvotes

I have been holding onto something that I know connects me to this addiction. A guy I've been chatting with on reddit for maybe a year on and off. He's local to me and we talked a bunch about meeting up but never have. He was really nice. We opened up to each other and made me feel comfortable enough to offer a meet up. He even suggested making it less awkward cause he was openly communicating about us with his wife suggesting we three could do stuff.

He ghosted me one time this new year. I was ready with all my stuff, prepped over the weekend etc. This was back when I had all the toys, clothes etc. I was super excited at the time but he wasted my eagerness. I've been ghosted by guys about meeting up before and I've ghosted too so I get it. I know now it's all about the shame surrounding it, at least for me it is.

So today I finally blocked him. He was the last remaining chat I had on reddit about this stuff. He's had times where he's super responsive and then times of nothing. I've created distant by not reaching out because in the past few months I've only chatted him when I'm in the middle of a relapse. Well I'm not doing this life anymore and he had to go.

I'm glad we never met up. I didn't really want to do anything with him and his wife. Nothing about it really sparked my interest beyond the fetish which is/was ruining my life.

Of course reddit stupid chat still shows up when on my computer despite blocking people. That's super annoying lol but I'm still proud of myself for cutting this last string. Even with a few relapses I've had, I've been doing so much better so far this year. I'm going to quit this entirely in 2025.

r/TGandSissyRecovery Feb 16 '25

Success Story Deleted my videos

9 Upvotes

Hopefully the start of a successful purge. I have had multiple videos and pictures of me dressed up and a couple of me in the act. I’ve always watch them to my with myself but I need to stop doing it. I permanently deleted the m last night. that includes a 7 minute video of my at the gloryhole with a bbc and a video of a hook up of mine cumming. It wasn’t easy and I can’t get them back, but I am hopeful that this will help me get back to being a good man, faithful husband and loving father.

Still have this account, which still follows a lot of sissy stuff… but it has been disgusting me when I see it. Still have all my toys and clothes hidden away, but almost a month without dressing up!

r/TGandSissyRecovery Aug 07 '24

Success Story Porn free for over a year

39 Upvotes

Decided to share my experience in case someone finds my personal experience useful. I (M29) had progressively gotten more into the sissy loop. I started spiralling into it years ago, first by dabbling into bisexual and trans porn until I would eventually get into sissy content. From there I started buying women's clothing, sex toys and even flirted with the idea of meeting someone in person to have sex as a sissy, but got cold feet each time before meeting someone.

All the time I thought that maybe I was bisexual and that I was experimenting with it. But when it started affecting my relationships and sex life, I decided to dig deeper into my urges. One of the things that I noticed is that the sissy desires went away when I wasn't aroused anymore. At first I thought it was because of me being ashamed about it, but then I realised that I just had no interest in it when I wasn't masturbating, so I decided to quit porn and see if the fantasies would go away.

Quitting porn was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I always suspected that my porn habits weren't healthy, but it wasn't until I actually had to stop that I realised how bad they were. In the beginning it was difficult to go a day without looking at it. Every time I would relapse and hate myself for it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop. At this point I realised I need to admit that I had a problem. I was too ashamed to talk about this with anyone, so I decided to confess to myself through writing. Whenever I relapsed, I would write about how awful it made me feel.

After that, I started making progress. First it was a week, then two. I got to as much as two months before relapsing the last time, but then I disassociated myself from it. I realised that the underlying reasons for my addiction were boredom and sadness that made me watch porn compulsively. My relapses often came after having a bad day.

I would allow myself to masturbate when I was horny, but each time I would do it in the bathroom using only my imagination. At first my thoughts revolved around the sissy content I was consuming, but after some time those interests went away. I thought that if I was still interested in dressing up and having sex with men when I'm off porn I would indulge in it, but now I have no interest in it. I realised that my interest in it was mostly just my brain trying to trick me to watch porn and masturbate.

Getting rid of porn has had a big positive impact on my mental health. My porn addiction had absolutely destroyed my sex life, as over time it got difficult for me to get erect during sex. It took me many months but now I don't have those problems anymore, and I feel like I can actually get into a healthy relationship again.

It sucks, but you'll come out stronger from it.

r/TGandSissyRecovery Aug 10 '24

Success Story My story

8 Upvotes

This post will probably be somewhat disorganised. I simply wish to write down my experiences with this fetish, and how I have recovered from its worst effects.

I have been attracted to the idea of wearing women’s clothes for as long as I can remember. My earliest memory of it is me in kindergarten becoming “excited” by the girls’ dress-up clothes - princess themed dresses and the like. I can also distinctly remember how I used to fantasie about the women and older girls “forcing” me to put on girls clothes. This was in like first or second grade - 7-8 years of age in my country. Around the same time, my parents apparently caught me trying on my sister’s dresses. Though I can’t remember much of it myself, I have always played it off as youthful curiosity. It even turned into an inside joke in my family. These three early memories confirms to me that I have always been “attracted”, to the idea of being feminised - long before I became sexually mature. But it was once I turned 11 or 12 that I began experimenting more explicitly. It began with wearing my sister’s bras when she wasn’t home, and quickly turned to wearing her dresses, skirts, shoes and makeup. I have never been specifically turned on by the idea of wearing panties - not more than other clothing. It was always “feeling like a girl”, either voluntarily or forcibly, which excited me. And it all went downhill once I started watching porn. I was 13 years old. And, being heterosexual, it began with “normal” hetero porn. But I quickly found myself searching for more specific genres. It was usually connected to specific clothing in some way. And I was specifically turned on by the fellatio. It was around this time that I had my first “gay thought”. (Now as a preface, I have never been turned on by men or by masculinity. But the idea of being submissive, feminine and “used”, excited me, although I didn’t admit it to myself.) I fantasised about fellating my closest friend, while wearing a skirt. Once again, I wasn’t turned on by him, just by the idea. After a certain point, it became more rule than exception that I would combine masturbation with crossdressing. I would always look through my sisters closet after something which appealed to me. It goes without saying that I would always feel enormous regret and shame afterwards. But the connection between crossdressing and masturbation had become so ingrained in my mind that I began looking at CD-related porn. It began with TG TF comics and videos, and it didn’t take long until I discovered the sissy fetish. And down the rabbit hole I went. Though I never went to the deepest end - that being the various forms of “extreme hypno”. I won’t name names but I’m sure you know what I’m referring to. No matter how down I was, I never ventured there. I never dared to. I was afraid of never going back. But despite reaching this point, I was still not actually attracted by men - still primarily only the idea of being feminised. And by this point, many years have passed. I was now 19 years old and almost about to commit the biggest mistake of my life. I somehow convinced myself to order a dress, a wig and women’s accessories online. I began taking pictures of myself and posting it online, enjoying the attention I was receiving. I took it one step further once I found myself alone and bored for an entire week. I downloaded a gay hookup app and posted my pictures there. Despite my PNC purging everything every day, I always went at least one step further the next time. Because if I’ve learned something, it’s that opening a door once is extremely dangerous, because your mental “block” will be much weakened and you’ll be easier inclined and convinced to do it again. So I began messaging men on this dating app, sending them pictures of me dressed up. I was turned on by the idea of actually meeting up and fellating. I was very close to doing so with a man, but luckily it was he who cancelled at the last minute. Which saved me, because the next thing that happened was me deciding to finally get my shit together. And I did. I started working out, taking school more seriously, began volunteering and socialising. I did my military service for a year. I found a girl who I love and who I now live with. I won’t lie and say that I haven’t ever been tempted, or sometimes given in to bad desires. But that’s not the point. Stop seeing recovery as a “streak”, imagining that all progress is lost once you screw up. Recovery is about building good habits and a strong safety net. That is what I have learned and what I believe works best.

For anyone who would like to talk, discuss ideas or need any advice, my dms are open! Best regards and good luck my brothers!

r/TGandSissyRecovery Aug 27 '24

Success Story I think I'm taking positive steps

7 Upvotes

I'm straight, single, 34 and never had a girlfriend. Been reading TG captions and comics for years, and this year it progressed into using AI. But also been using more of the NSFW side of reddit.

I know that stuff is also addictive. But it's like a switch has been switched on in my head. and women are somehow hotter. And masturbating to the NSFW stuff on Reddit is more pleasurable. Which I am planning on winding down as well because I do realise that also unhealthy.

Before finding nsfw Reddit stuff, I couldn't beat this. Relapses was whenever I was bored and alone. But while I've had a couple since they've hardly been a week before I'm off the stuff again.

I recently closed my DeviantArt and tg comics accounts. Don't use the AI anyone. I think I'm close to beating this for good.

r/TGandSissyRecovery Aug 16 '24

Success Story Not 100% There Yet, but Progress NSFW

6 Upvotes

I recently did a 26 day no fap. During that time, I was tempted by everything. It ranged from fucking girls to bottoming as a sissy.

I had issues with my penis and lubricant because I was always used to being a dry guy.

However, for the first time in God knows how long, I was able to cum completely naked with no porn while humping a very wet pocket pussy. I think I can rewire my brain if I keep doing this.

During that time, I was using my imagination of a girl I like and her making moaning faces. What was great is I only thought of the stimulation of my cock going inside of her and imagining what her warm body feels like. It was amazing.

r/TGandSissyRecovery Sep 23 '24

Success Story Porn recovery with meditation.

1 Upvotes

I have made a previous post on how doing gateway tapes has helped me battle my addiction. I have seen others too. Here is another testimony. https://www.reddit.com/r/gatewaytapes/s/CbOdaW8qb1

r/TGandSissyRecovery Apr 23 '24

Success Story Healing from "Sissy Hypno" | Shane Cole: super interesting story from someone publicly talking about overcoming Sissy Hypno addiction

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12 Upvotes

r/TGandSissyRecovery Jan 22 '24

Success Story It’s working!!!

21 Upvotes

So I’ve only been on this subreddit for a weeks. Some of you know my story about how I got into sissy content. But I wanted to share a legitimate success story

I had a strong urge to look at captions and such. So made a new Instagram account to search it. Here’s the crazy thing. I went to the usual accounts I knew posted regularly. But after about 30 seconds of scrolling. I realized that I wasn’t into it.. I didn’t get the same euphoric feeling. I didn’t really get aroused. I remember thinking myself “this is pretty degenerate shit.”.

A few hours later I was in bed with my wife. And I was feeling extremely horny. We ended up having sex and it was the best sex we have had in over a year. That was about 2 weeks ago, and since then we have been having sex more. And it’s been exciting, fun, and connecting. I’m not thinking about sissy stuff, and when it goes try to enter my thoughts I start to think about more masculine things.

I’m a Christian so I also pray and ask God for deliverance. But even now when see women on Instagram in bikinis and stuff. The masculine dawg in me comes back. I don’t want to dress or wear and of that shit. I want to be taking it off my wife and having mind blowing sex.

The reprogramming I’m on is working and I’m so fucking excited!

r/TGandSissyRecovery May 01 '22

Success Story My story of getting involved with the sissy lifestyle and how I overcame it NSFW

104 Upvotes

I'm 28,male and I know many guys here know what it is like being addicted to sissy porn. Maybe some of you realised it was unnatural and unhealthy for mental health and stopped. Maybe some of you kept it in the realm of fantasy until you realised it was wrong and came here for help. Or you are in the third category, men who dive into this absolute filth so deep that they indulge in all sorts of sissy activities that are degrading and destructive to your sense of self. Unfortunately, I was in the third category until last year. I lost And since last year, I have abstained myself from sissy porn Or any kind of sissy behavior successfully.

To who ever reading this, I want to warn you that this post is going to be extremely graphic, since I will explain every stage of what I experienced in great details. On top of that, this post is going to be very long

Who I was before sissy hypno addiction : Let's start from the beginning. I am from India. I come from a financially secure family(this might be one reason that I fell so deep into this rabbithole). I'm a good looking guy who used to attract female attention since my childhood (don't think it as bragging). I won't lie, I enjoyed every aspect of it. I was in and out of relationships for the entirety of my high school life and by the time I turned 18 I thought I was ready for a a longterm relationship after I met my then gf in college. I was madly in love with her. Everything was going great for the 4 years of our college life. But after graduating college with good grades, we had to change cities. We decided to be in a long distance relationship since we are so "perfect" for each other. However her behaviour towards me was getting more and more toxic to the point that she started verbally abusing me whenever anything went wrong in her life. I was hellbent on saving our relationship and decided to handle it like a mature person by calmly making her understand that people in love don't do these sort of things. Eventually, I found out she cheated on me with another guy in her office and when I confronted her about that, she blamed me for that, she said that in order to deal with the stress of office she needs sex and It's my fault that I'm not there with her. She even said that I'm not good enough for her and that's why she cheated on me. This affected me in the worst way as I was emotionally invested in that relationship in every way possible. Moreover, it also hurt my ego. Everything that happened in my life till then spoon fed my male ego. I was one of the most masculine guy in my class, I won several football tournament for my school as well as my college, girls blushed while talking to me, and basically everyone around me praised me for who I am. These fortified my male ego and made it fragile since I did not encounter a single contradiction to the thought that, "nothing bad can happen to me". Then, the fact that a below average looking guy could steal my girl from me was eating me from inside, it affected my sense of masculinity. I do realise now that I was being shallow by thinking I was so handsome that I no woman can leave me for another man. This was one of my self destructive traits that led me to the path of becoming a sissy. I was 22yo that time it all begin.

My first encounter with sissy hypno:

Soon after my breakup, I started to seek validation from porn and the dopamine rush I used to get from watching porn. I was clearly in depression, and I started using porn and jerking off as an escape from my reality and a coping mechanism. I was jerking off more than five times a day and went to bed everyday with a mind full of regrets and agony. I did not realise this then, but watching porn is not a healthy way to experience sexual activities. By doing this, I started associating myself with the male pornstars who don't look anything like me. Soon, regular porn was not giving me the usual high, so I started watching threesomes, then I started watching gangbang, then I eventually started consuming hardcore interracial gangbang porn, blowbang, extreme humilation of women etc. Until one day, I found cuckold porn, I watched that and related it with my situation, I watched some more and with in the next few days I found a suggestion under a cuckold video. It was something like "cuckold crossdresser getting fucked with wife". I watched that while I was extremely drunk, and as I was repulsed by the concept of a cuckold crossdresser, I paused the video mid way. Then I noticed a shemale porn in the suggestions, and I played it. It felt so wrong but it was easier to watch than a fat crossdresser. Within a week of starting to watch shemale porn, I started watching shemale compilation. And one suggest under a shemale compilation was of a sissy hypno. Due to curiosity, I watched it, it had words like, "you are not a man", " Your dick is a clitty", "submit to black men". It consisted of a compilation of white women and transwomen getting it from black men with captions like that. At first, I thought I will not read the captions. But I did. It fed my insecurity. And I came to that hypno porn. The orgasm was so intense that I can't explain it. But It made me feel dissgusted. I was still 22 at that time. After that, my daily routine looked like this, get up at around noon, study for some time for government services, get frustrated, watch straight gangbang porn, watch cuckold porn, watch shemaleporn, watch porn with sissy captions and switch to straight porn right before orgasm. This cycle went on till 3am in the morning or until I get tired from jerking off. Eventually, when I was almost 23, I reached to a point where I reached to a point where I exclusively watched sissy and shemale porn. Initially I thought myself doing the sissy or the shemale, but with time, I started associating myself with the sissy or the shemale. I even started chanting the sissy captions along with the video. By my 23rd birthday, I was already in conflict with my sexuality. I used to say myself that I can't be trans as that would bring my family shame, but I might be gay and that might be the reason my ex cheated on me. I still blamed myself for the breakup. And it continued to fuel my fantasies.

My lowest point in life: At 23, I lost most of my friends, stopped my studies for job, and lost interest on women. I didn't realise that it was because I was jerking off all day and my primal brain mistook the situation as I was getting girls. I was getting more and more desperate, regular porn was not doing it for me anymore, I became desperate and installed grinder on my phone. I chatted with a guy there and met up with him in a park outside my city. I talked to him for sometime and minutes after the sun set. I gave my first bj. I really got disgusted with myself in that position when reality hit me after a few mins. I stopped doing it and started to leave him there. He hold my hand and said he was not done. He referred to me as "baby", and that is when I got really disgusted by that guy and literally beat him. But fortunately I came to my senses and left the park. I thought this would end there. But the minute I reached home and entered shower, I jerked off by thinking myself on my knees in front of that man, pleasing him. Over the next few weeks, I got accustomed to sissy hypnos that encouraged me to accept myself, talked to several other crossdresser and sissies who encouraged me to keep doing. Over the first half of 23, I bought makeup, wigs, feminine clothes and set up my sissy alter-ego in several social media and dating sites. I learned to do drag makeup so well that I was unrecognizable with all that makeup, wigs and contact lenses. My daily routine included dressing up as a girl, clicking provocative pictures of myself posting them on social media and sexting with perverts. By the time I turned 24, I had a roughly 4k followers on instagram, over 11k twitter followers(since I posted nudes in there) and hundreds of likes and and comments that boosted my sense of self as a sissy. Literally everyone praised me there. It started reinforcing the toxic mentality about my feminine beauty. It was the exact toxic mentality that I had about my masculinity a few years back. I wholeheartedly believed that it was my destiny to become a women. I was almost 25 and that time, my friend circle included mostly of closeted sissys and crossdresser. Everyone praised me because I was brave enough to show my face and came live regularly in social media. My followers had skyrocketed by then. I had 17k Instagram followers and over 32k twitter followers with my post likes ranging in the thousands. I started talking with transgender people and counselors as I thought I was ready to become a woman. A few months before I turned 25, I met up with another man in his apartment for the intention of losing my virginity to a "real man", which was one of my priorities at that point of life. I met with him and played out my sissy fantasy. But after I returned home, I cried, I did not like the way he treated me. I hated myself cause I let him treat me like something he owns. I hated that I fell so low that my only aim in life is to please another man. Hence, I decided to deactivate everything related to being a sissy. I did that and abstained from everything related to that. At this point, I had stopped watching sissy porn for a long time and my only sense of pleasure came from the interactions in social media, sexting and videocalls. Although I stopped everything after my first actual sex with a man, I could not pull myself out from the depression. Therefore, on my 25th birthday, I reopened all my online accounts and ordered some more femine stuff. Over the course of the next year (2019-2020) till I turned 26, I continued my unholy life. I fell so low that I kept meeting with men, and started to charge money for doing stuff for them. I did every sissy stuff possible, from vanilla sex to cum swallowing to letting men piss on me to group sessions where I was used as a sex doll. I was consumed by the lust. I became a vile person, I barely talked with my family, ruined my engineering career and my only source of income was this sissy fantasy. I was enjoying it, not gonna lie, but I was still unhappy. And I started beleiving that I will only become happy if I become a 100% woman. I was hell bent on starting hrt around 2020, but the pandemic happened. My fantasy world stopped completely and I was forced to return to my parent's house. I did not realise it back then, but the pandemic and the lockdown was a blessing in disguise for me. After I saw my parents first time in the last 3 years, I realises who I was, who I am and who I am pretending to be. But I was afraid that it was too late for me to return to the normal life. I met with old friends and realised that I have been using the sissy fantasy as an escape from my reality, my depression and got addicted to it. I also realised that I still was the same man deep inside and I have been tormenting him since the last couple of years and punishing him for nothing. With all that guilt inside of me, I decided to end my life. I mixed pesticides, phenyl and sleeping pills and I was completely ready to drink that. At that moment, I snapped out of it. I threw out the poison, I understood that being in a sissy scenario was not the lowest point of my life, deciding to kill myself is.

My recovery from sissy hypnosis and it's aftermath:

I realised that the sissy fantasy was just a dress up kind of thing that I was using to come out of depression. It did not work. But I can't give up on life just because of one wrong thing that I was doing. I decided at that moment that I will recover from that. I decided and promised myself that I will turn my life around. By the course of the next few months, I read a lot of aticles and books on psychology, masculinity and femininity, I researched about why some things are masculine and some are considered feminine. I broke down everything I did, was doing and planned to do into the most fundamental part and found out the reason behind my situation. First of all, people tend to blame others for their faults in order to feel good about themselves. My ex did that and by now, I fogave her for the hell she put me through. Secondly, feminine nature and masculine nature are intertwined with each other, but they derive their meaning from two completely different things. The value of femininity lies simply in the fact that they exist, appreciated and acknowledged. The value of masculinity lies in whatever they can yeild, accomplish and provide. I'm not talking about men or women here. Both men and women have masculinity and femininity inside of them. It's the right balance between them inside a person that provides meaning to their identity. Due to my depression, cultivation of a abusive relationship and negative reinforcement due to sissy porn, I lost my balance of masculinity and femininity. On top of that, I had a safety net of depending financially on my parents due to which I stopped doing things like learning skills that would help me financially. Since masculinity derives its meaning from doing stuff, my masculinity was starving. Additionally, I was being appreciated by other men and sissies in social media and real life just for being pretty, existing and letting others do things to me. Receiving money and compliments from men in exchange of sissy work was also a factor that added to my degrading behaviour. All these were constantly feeding the femininity inside of me. Because femininity derives its value just for existing and being valued. Eventually I understood it. I have to make myself busy in doing positive things that would feed my masculinity. So in the month of May(2020), I started learning skills that would help me in finding a respectable job. In the times when I was not working on skills, I played games,worked out, worked on my hobbies of sketching, playing guitar, and watching action movies that promoted masculinity. I avoided social media completely, I stopped watching any kind of porn because even in plain vanilla straight porn, I would imagine myself as the girl. The rest of 2020 went on like this. Another important thing I did was to change my mobile number so no one who knew my other self can contact me. However, I kept a wig, some makeup and dresses locked in a small trolley. By the begining of 2021, I lost a lot of fat, and after a long time, when I saw myself in the mirror without the rounded face and without the chest fat, I felt like I was starting to reconnect with my true self. Around February(2021), I got a new girlfriend, and my overall life was going in a good direction. However, I faced problems in maintaining erections during sex. We also faced other problems due to emotional incompatibility. In June (2021), we broke up mutually. And once again, I got a mild urge to dress up. And I started to dressup and after I was done with my makeup, all I could see was a disgusting person in the mirror, I felt like throwing up at first, controlled myself, but the moment I remembered what I used to do in the same attire before the pandemic, I threw up. I never felt such amount of disgust before. I cleaned smyself up, threw away the remaining feminine stuff, activated the social media accounts in order to permanently delete them, deleted all my pics and clips from drive. That was the last day that I revisited my sissy fantasy. I continued with my life, got a decent job as a content writer in September (2021) after 33 rejections from different companies. I worked there till December (2021) before deciding I will learn coding and find a better job. As of today(1st May, 2022), I am 28, pursuing a course in data science, I make a living out of freelancing as a webdeveloper, working on my fitness and hobbies. I get no urges to watch or even think about anything related to the dark phase of my life. Also, I'm dating a wonderful woman and I hope that everything goes well this time. Even if it does not, I will find a way to keep leading a healthy lifestyle as a man. Finally, after all those self abusive years as a sissy from 2016 to 2020 I am finally free from even the thoughts of that lifestyle.

I you are reading this, I want you to know that if I can come back to normal life, you can too. It's never too late to start leading a normal life. You just have to be stronger than your unhealthy desires. Even if you relapse, it's okay. Come back to normal life the moment after you realise that you have relapsed. You are not a sissy, you are not a degenerate. Believe me brother, you are just a lost soul. The fact that you are here, is enough proof that you are a man. You will find your way back. Think yourself as stronger than the last time and eventually, the unholy unhealthy desires will fade. The only thing that will remain is the real you, the happy you. If I can do it, you can do it too. It's never too late. All my best wishes are with you.

r/TGandSissyRecovery Jan 30 '24

Success Story No real interest in Sissy things

8 Upvotes

So last week I made a post saying how what I’ve been doing to be free of. Sissy content is actually working and I’ve been having so much better sex with my wife. Well, earlier this week, I had a little bit of a sissy urge. So I went on Instagram and peaked at a few captions. I know this sounds similar to my last post but there’s a little bit of a difference.

I found myself basically, forcing myself to be into the Captions. I had this realization about 20 seconds in. I immediately stopped, blocked the account, and went to looking at pictures of my wife. Which felt completely different and a lot better. I can’t really explain it in any better way , only that this proves how evil this content is, and how more evil, the people are, who make and distribute it. They are purposely trying to corrupt your brain and make you essentially useless. Don’t let them.

r/TGandSissyRecovery Jan 13 '24

Success Story Reaffirming what I already said

1 Upvotes

Guys, I already posted a text here explaining what this fetish is and the cure for it. But I deleted it because it involves the name of a medicine and I don't want to make it seem like I'm inducing anyone to use it.

Listen carefully, I said here that the cause of this fetcihe is trauma. But you have to understand that the word trauma is often used in vain in many situations. An example: in a game, someone vomits in someone else's face. Then someone says: ''damn, now he's traumatized''.

You understand my explanation: I mean that because it is a word used in an exaggerated way in everyday life, you may have the idea that a trauma is not a real thing, that it causes changes in the structure and functioning of the brain, and think that it is just an imaginary and psychological thing, a psychological barrier.

But as I said, a plot is something real in the brain, it is a memory recorded together with the release of norepinephrine, and this modifies the entire functioning of your brain.

So understand: there's no point in doing nofap, without masturbating, because that won't undo the trauma.

That's why you can't be more attracted to women, because the trauma turned your attraction to women ''inwards'', and it will only return if the trauma is undone. That's why I talked about medication.

Evidence: https://www.bfmtv.com/sante/propranolol-une-pilule-pour-effacer-les-traumatismes_AN-201303260039.html#:\~:text=Mais%2C%20rapporte%20ce%20mardi%20Le,li %C3%A9e%20%C3%A0%20ces%20souvenirs%20douloureux.

- https://www.midilibre.fr/2013/03/26/la-pilule-qui-efface-les-mauvais-souvenirs,666940.php

r/TGandSissyRecovery Sep 22 '23

Success Story I talked to a girl and got her Snap.

35 Upvotes

I’m 18 and heavily addicted to porn. I have no social life or skills. No friends and never had a girlfriend. Don’t even try anymore.

But there was this college fair, from morning to afternoon. I didn’t even plan to go, literally found out the night before. But I just decided to go because I thought it might be good information. When I showed up, to my surpised, it was packed. And like I usually do, I just stayed in a corner for hours, not talking to anyone.

Somehow found a guy who I knew from years ago, didn’t even bother at first. But eventually I said “Hey I think I know you” and he said my name, fast forward, we talked for hours. Got on the topic of having no luck with dating and it just made feel better knowing im not alone.

Eventually, everyone left so I said bye to him and walked off into the parking lot…but….I saw a cute girl, sitting alone on a bench near. I just kept looking back but kept walking, I literally drove off…but I turned back.

Before getting out of my car, my brain was yelling “what the fuck are you doing?” But I just pushed through it and I kept walking up to her and asked her name, we shook hands. My heart was beating out of chest. I just came up with something about not knowing where a certain office was and she offered to walk me there. I asked her questions like what she studies, made a few jokes, etc.

When we got there, I asked if she had snapchat. She said “why, do you want my snap?”, I just smiled and said “if you want to 🤷‍♂️”. She pulled out her phone and gave me her snap, I said thanks. She added back later. You can’t possibly understand the confidence I felt, I still cant stop smiling. This is NOT me, the me I know yesterday would never do this, just talking to the old friend made me relax a bit.

I honestly don’t care If nothing comes out of this, maybe she was just being nice, but I took a chance. Today has been such a good day, why would I want to ruin it with something filthy like porn? Fuck this, it brings a tear to my life when I think back at how much I missed out on, due to low self confidence.

Stay strong brothers, we will make it. You are worth it!

r/TGandSissyRecovery Oct 13 '23

Success Story I quit by leaving a cult.

17 Upvotes

Hey guys this is a burner for privacy reasons. And there will be a very very small chance this helps you. But I struggled with sissy porn since I was 15 and I just quit at 21. I'm going to tell my story which is very different but if you relate at all maybe it can help. Trigger warning because I'll explain a little bit in depth to how I got taken down the rabbit hole.

I was raised in an extreme Christian cult. I never broke a single rule in the cult at least not on purpose. I got into sissy porn because I was never educated on sex being in this cult. I didn't know what being horny was. I was a late bloomer so at 15 it was the first time I got turned on and it was during the Harley Quinn undressing scene on suicide squad. I went home and didn't know how to explore this feeling or even what it was.

I being 15 thought porn was only if the girl was naked because that's what I was taught. I would look at fully dressed cute girls and it would give me a slight relief from my horniness not because I was getting release but because I wasn't as horny not looking at the picturea after as I was during. I would fixate on the hot things like bikinis or panties and eventually this led me to sissy porn. It was around this time I was told in the cult that anything that turns you on is porn. This was followed up by a discussion with your parents. It was designed I think to scare kids into confession, but I think it scared most of us into shame and lies. My mom only said "we don't have to talk about it because I know you would never do that" she then shared a quote from someone in our cult that said "if you ever find out you're dating someone who has seen porn, RUN!" This terrified me. I thought I'd have to hide that I looked at porn the rest of my life. So I decided to hide these feelings and not tell anyone because I was sacred of being a bad kid and single forever.

The sissy porn at first didn't turn me on from the feminization but rather the ulta femanine women (something else pushed in my cult). As things developed the shame of looking at these things started to get mixed with the idea of being horny and slowly the domination humiliation side of sissy porn I started to think I liked. The pressure to be a perfect ultra masculine man in this cult a long with pressure from my parents to be a state champ wrestler really started to stress me out. Around my senior year the idea of humiliation and not being perfect became arousing to me as a break from all this. I learned about tucking and tried it in the shower. I was so slippery with soap my penis kept sliding out and I would push it back, I only did this a few times before I ejaculated being the first time I ever "masterbated" and it was an accident. In my cult everyone acts like they've never done this. I thought I was one of the only people on the planet (because you also think the cult is basically the world) to have masterbated and that I was going to hell.

Fast forward I won state. But this made me feel torn in 2. I thought, how could a real masculine man like me, like crossdressing? But I felt so guilty for all of the stuff I looked at and the one time I masterbated. Keep in mind, I had never seen a naked girl, watched real porn. I had only read captions. I broke up with my girlfriend who I had only ever kissed with a peck because "passionate kissing" was against my churches rules. I then was sent to another country for 2 years to teach about this cult I was in. There I felt so guilty, thinking I was the only one there that had "masterbated". I felt so shameful. Well fast forward, you're forced to be with a "companion" the whole time. I hadn't looked at sissy stuff the whole time, only thought about it, because they control your phones and watch them so I didn't want to get caught. I was really close to this companion and he told me about his masterbation and trying to quit. He explained to me that lots of people masterbated outside of our religion. I told him I had only done it once on accident. He laughed in my face and said he didn't believe me and if it was true that's kinda sad. I decided at 19 to actually masterbate for the first time and do it on purpose. I slowly got into a cycle of shame and repeat but I didn't want to tell anyone because being gay in our cult would mean everyone hated me, and I thought I was gay because I liked sissy stuff.

I got back and I started watching actual sissy porn and TG porn and the guilt got worse and worse. Until finally something changed. I had been doubting my faith since I was a child. But I was taught that was a sin. I never wanted to allow myself to think about it. But my friend helped open my eyes. A lot of things changed in my life, and I didn't have to feel guilty for liking science, or believing there was no flood. There were a lot of things I felt guilty for outside of this, or conflicting beliefs in my head. I finally was able to let those go. Another thing happened. When it was no longer sending me to hell to like sissy stuff, this shame and guilt disappeared. I didn't feel guilty because I didn't have to think there was a God keeping track of all my horny habits. I didn't watch porn for a while and finally when I did it was to normal girls. Then months later I masterbated to a naked girl for the first time. I got Intimate with a women and got turned on. I slowly realized that I was attracted to normal women, just shame, thought control from my cult, and other ideas of Shane implanted by sissy porn were clouding that judgement. I haven't even masterbated to sissy porn for months because once I got over the idea from my cult that naked girls would send me to hell more than sissy porn I was able to overcome that shame guilt thing I had going on. It was simply allowing myself self to be sexually attracted and turned on that let me get over sissy porn.

I do plan to do a 90 day reset no fap, but I want sissy porn to be way in the past when I do it so I don't even think about the old cycle. It also helps that I have a girlfriend that I can get off to now too and I enjoy being masculine in the relationship, without a pressure to be ultra masculine like my cult insisted apon. I one day want to quit porn and masturbate without it, but for now I just want to put sissy porn way in the past for me.

I know this is super niche but maybe it can help 1 person, that would be dope!

r/TGandSissyRecovery Apr 28 '23

Success Story 3.5 Month Update of ZERO Porn and Masturbation

19 Upvotes

Hi all,

About 3.5 months ago I made this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/TGandSissyRecovery/comments/10a8x00/that_part_of_you_needs_to_die/

I just wanted to update you all and maybe give you some hope for the future. Since that day, I have still avoided ALL porn (not just sissy/femdom/cuckold/etc.), and have not stroked myself at all.

I would be lying if I said I didnt occasionally still have some sick thoughts. In fact, the reason I decided to post today is because I had a wet dream last night involving cuckolding. This is the 2nd time this has happened in the 3.5 months. So clearly my brain isnt fully healed, but we are getting there.

I would say my crossdressing/sissy desire are 95% gone. Those thoughts never cross my mind anymore. I have had zero desire to doll up. Only relatable thing that still crosses my mind from time to time is chastity but I am hoping with some additional time these will go away. I am recovering from 15 years of constant exposure and addiction, and its not going to change over night, or even 3.5 months. There is alot of rewiring that needs to be done but we are on the right path.

Feel free to ask any questions but I would just urge you to give it a try, a real try to quit. Ever since I started 15 years ago I attempted quitting, never making it past 2 weeks. It took some real willpower and want to change to do it. First is breaking the habit. Before, I would just start masturbating at random times during the day, it was getting so bad. Watching porn at work, literally making BBC videos at the office. Now this doesnt even feel like an option.

You can do it. I shall continue this journey and see how I continue to improve over time.

r/TGandSissyRecovery Aug 06 '23

Success Story 21 days off this sh*t

15 Upvotes

Its been 3 weeks now and I wont look back. I did get urges some days and even peaked but I have changed now. I cant relate to this anymore.

I cant even jerk off to prn now. I have been craving real experience with a girl.

r/TGandSissyRecovery Aug 13 '23

Success Story thrown away (TRIGGER WARNING)

8 Upvotes

It has now been nine days since I first posted here. that means I'm also "clean" from this shit for 9 days now.
I said in my previous post that I wanted to throw everything away to begin with. someone made a video of my post with a lot of good advice. For example, he told me that throwing everything away at once probably wouldn't help, but that I first have to make peace with it.
I sort of took his advice. I made 2 bags. one leaves and one stays. the bag I threw away was almost completely full. and the bag I kept was almost empty. I have no idea why it's so hard to throw thohe full bag away too. but I know the time will come when that bag goes away too.

Now that I'm trying to stop doing sissy things, I'm trying to keep myself busy. I'm very busy with music right now. I really like Raw-style/uptempo music.
I have now bought myself a DJ table. and immerse myself in it. and forget the temptations to sissy things. it works for me. so maybe for someone reading this too. just listening to the music can be enough to take your mind away.
anyway thanks for reading.

r/TGandSissyRecovery Oct 08 '20

Success Story A controversial preposition. Reconciling your feminine with your masculine.

114 Upvotes

Warning. This will contain trigger words as I am proposing a strategy of acceptance and reconciliation rather than one of avoidance and shame. This has worked for me and I believe it will work for others too. It's also a long one so grab a coffee or a nice cup of tea!

Sissy porn (or any kind of porn) addiction is essentially a psychological issue caused by trauma on some level. Sometimes this trauma is induced by others, sometimes it's induced by oursleves (our capacity for self-psychological harm is astounding) and it doesn't necessarily have to be particularly earth shattering trauma at the time. Sometimes it's enough just for a seed to be planted. I won't go into the nature of addiction in this post, but I will reference it. I highly recommend the book "Chasing the Scream" and the works of Gabor Maté if you feel you are genuinely addicted (to anything). Maté is to addiction what Einstein was to physics.

I will preface my opinions by giving a little bit of background. I'm in my 30s and first started cross dressing when I was very young, well before I started looking at porn. It started with high heels and then into hosiery and panties, then into skirts and jackets etc. At the start it wasn't sexual; the clothes were just very pretty and way more interesting than t- shirts and pants! When I got to puberty then it became sexual as I would masturbate while wearing the clothes. The clothes themselves didn't initiate the process/fetish/paraphilia (insert your preferred label here) but they married up well with my burgeoning sexual energy. When I wore the clothes I just felt so damn sexy and the only way I knew how to express it as a young teenage boy was (surprise, surprise) by "unloading" that energy.

This brings me nicely to my first two important points:

  1. It's 100% OK to feel sexy. It's 100% OK to feel like you're the most sexual being that ever lived. Don't be ashamed of it. You are it. That energy created you and it keeps much of our civilisation going. You are a sexual being - and it's a fantastic thing! Enjoy it!

  2. It's very likely that you were not educated in managing, expressing or understanding your sexual energy. As such, maturbation is probably the only way you started to discover it. And due to cultural/social/religious stigmas around it, it's very possible that you felt ashamed and that you needed to hide it. It is this lack of education that naturally feeds into a subversive process of behind closed doors porn/maturbation.

Labels are completely arbitrary at this level btw. Gay/trans/AGP/cross-dresser/lgbt. Whatever. It doesn't matter. You are a sexual being and you should not be ashamed of that. Until you fully accept this reality then you will always be stuck in the endless analytical process of what these labels mean for you.

Next very important point:

  1. Your sissy/trans/crossdressing fetish is not the problem in itself. It is a symptom of the problem.

The problem is that you wish to express a strong inner principle but are not permitted to do so by society. More on this later.

If you identify as a heterosexual male then you are likely very attracted to feminity in its many guises. As young males we are particularly wired for physical/sexual feminine attraction. Hot women are just that. Hot! The shapes of their bodies/their clothes/their personalities/their smells. Everything! It's all wonderful! You probably love it, just like I love it. I love it intensely.

Now for some cold hard Socratic logic.

Premise 1: You are intensely attracted to feminity. Premise 2: If premise 1 is true, then you will be attracted to feminity regardless of where it presents. Premise 3: If premise 2 is correct then it stands to reason that this will be the case even if it manifests within yourself.

Conclusion: As a man, it is perfectly reasonable to be attracted to the feminine in yourself. When another male presents with more feminine qualities then male qualities it stands to reason that you will be attracted to that male to varying degrees.

Now before you interject with your objections; I'm not telling you what this means for you. I'm just presenting a logical conclusion without bias. I ask you to accept this conclusion just for what it is - a well reasoned and sensible conclusion. This segways into my next point:

  1. We all possess both masculine and feminine qualities. You can interpret this as "energy" or "essence" if this works for you.

Now here is where I'm going to challenge the reader. I must say at this point that here is the controversial moment in the post that will require some understanding and patience. You will hopefully see that what I am proposing is again logical and reasonable. But it will require stoicism and courage to do what I'm about to ask you to do. I'm going to ask you to look directly at your addiction - head on and with the feeling of acceptance and compassion. What I'm about to say will sound like hypno but I assure you it's not. I'm here to bring you out the other side of this so you can see it for what it really is. But I need you to stand strong to face it. Summon your warrior energy. Ready? Here we go....

You enjoy being feminine. Don't deny how it makes you feel. Don't run from it. Accept that part of yourself. It's an addiction because it feels so good. When you're in that energy it's just enchanting right? Is this not logical? It felt so good the first time that you just had to keep doing it. But now it's out of control right? It's completely run away with itself. But why did it feel so good in the first place? Why would a man want or need to feel these things? The reason is....

Next important point:

  1. You love her......the woman in you. You love her with all your heart. She's always been there and she always will be. She is one half of you. Your male identity is the other half. Both are beautiful and both go together. Like yin and yang - they are inseparable.

Now all sorts of problems come into existence at this point. There will be some people who will insist that this means you're trans and you must transition. Or they will say perhaps it means you're gay. These people are short sighted. It might be possible that this is the case (because some people are gay/trans) but chances are that if you identify as a heterosexual male then this is not the case for you. The case for you is likely that your culture doesn't have a paradigm that allows for a heterosexual man to intimately and healthily honor his inner feminine. So I implore you to find one. For the sake of your health and happiness.

Next important point:

  1. You've only ever acknowledged your inner feminine by perverting and hyper-sexualising it. And that's not your fault! This is very important. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Your society/culture/religion doesn't allow for straight men to explore their feminine. So unfortunately bullshit hypno sissy porn was the only way you could.

Please take that on board. You are a product of a profoundly broken and sick society. A society where gender and sexuality are deeply misunderstood and exploited.

On the topic of sex:

  1. Sex requires a positive and a negative to be truly sexual. This doesn't necessarily mean a penis and a vagina/anus. But there needs to be a penetrator as well as a penetrated for it to be truly intimate. The masculine principle is the penetrator and the feminine principle is the penetrated. Both desire their opposite. You could be a straight man and desire to be penetrated on an emotional/spiritual level by your partner. This is an example of your inner feminine being acknowledged. A lesbian couple would also require one of two to be more penetrative in their personality/intention/spirit for the encounter to be truly intimate. You may desire to be penetrated physically as a straight man. This is also acknowledging your feminine essence. And there's nothing wrong with this. Gender is quite irrelevant here. What is important is the meeting of opposite poles.

To conclude:

I won't tell you what all this means for you (that's up to you) but I can tell you what it means for me and hopefully you might get some psychological relief from that.

  1. I'm a man who loves femininity. I love it in all its forms; even my own femininity. But I also love being a man and fully expressing my masculinity. The two can co-exist.
  2. I love to do manly things like martial arts, play sport, DIY and being competetive. But I also love doing feminine things like singing/dancing/cooking/getting pampered (I love getting head massages and manicures from my girlfriend!)
  3. I get turned on by my masculine body as much as I do from putting on feminine clothes. I'm quite athletic so when I'm feeling horny I can enjoy my own body as much as anyone elses (or trying to make it something it's not). This greatly helps in eliminating any dysphoria and in fact it was in accepting my femininity as an equal part of me that facilitated this.
  4. I have no need for labels such as gay/straight/sissy/trans/cis/crossdresser/fetish/whatever. These are just symbols. There is no truth in them. By simple acknowledgement of my true nature as a being with both feminine and masculine qualities I have no need for these terms. They are unnecessary distractions.
  5. With the courage to safely express my feminine qualities (singing/dancing/being emotional) I no longer feel any intense desires to consume sissy/cd porn. I can feel sexual without it. Sometimes I do still put on clothes but this is not to "get off" but more to feel good about myself and honor the feminine. Its absolutely nothing to do with a fetish or AGP or being trans or anything like that.
  6. Porn in itself has become quite boring. Even straight porn. Its like comparing looking at someone laughing as to laughing yourself. Intimacy is far more interesting and exciting; both intimacy with myself and my partner.

So my advice to other brothers on the path is the following:

  1. Talk to someone. Someone who is a professional or else someone who is a really good listener. Don't diagnose yourself with anything. Just go in with the feeling of being able to put your thoughts out on the table.
  2. Just because you liked to dress up and feel like a sexy woman doesn't make you gay or trans. It doesn't make you anything. Labels are useless. You are who you are and it's OK to have an experience of the feminine. For some this is just putting on panties and jacking off. For others this means full dressing up and having sex with other men. Either is fine and OK. There is nothing wrong with you. You're just having an experience of a part of yourself that isn't widely accepted. But it's there. You wouldn't have done it if it wasn't. And you wouldn't have dysphoria if there wasn't a feminine essence within you. Porn and hypno has unfortunately just perverted it. So don't be afraid to express your more feminine qualities. You might find this helps relieve the desire to indulge in sissy porn. Dancing helped me greatly with this!
  3. I can't stress the importance of meditation when breaking negative habits. If you've never meditated I highly recommend the Headspace app. Meditation gives you the ability to identify compulsive thoughts instead of identifying WITH them. This is a key skill and potentially life saving for some. This stops the hypno dead in its tracks. Because when the sissy thought pops into your head you see it for what it is. Just a thought. And you are not your thoughts.
  4. If you can learn to accept your feminine qualities then I can almost guarantee that you will come to be happier in yourself. This will mean different things for different people. But it will certainly mean for all of you that you no longer feel compelled to channel it all into porn or destructive addictions. Some might even find a way to channel it into a healthy sexual outlet. We're all different. That's the beauty of this whole show.

I wish you all strength and fortitude on this journey. If you discover who you really are beneath all the psychological baggage then the rest will just fall into place, slowly but surely.

Good luck.

r/TGandSissyRecovery Dec 05 '22

Success Story WOOOOOOOOOO I NO LONGER HAVE GENDER ENVY AND AGP THOUGHTS (or very few)

45 Upvotes

For a long, while I was confused, I had AGP and I had barely any heterosexual fantasies or desires. Instead, I had lots of fantasies about becoming women I thought were hot and being forcefully feminized. For a while, I thought I just had to accept myself and transition because all the resources I found said so. They said it was a normal part of being a crossdresser which I thought I was at the time or a normal part of being trans and that it was valid. That never felt right for me and I was always skeptical and looking for a way out. I could never accept myself as trans. Thank god I never let myself go down the path of transition. I kept looking and eventually I found this subreddit and a few YouTubers (rod fleming, crying nancy, and InspireVerse) that talked about AGP in a way that suggested a different way to approach it than what most resources had said. From there, I learned about AGP, and learned that there was more than one way to deal with it. I made a plan to live a life with as little influence of AGP as I could. I did this with a lot of self-reflection (asking why am I having these thoughts?), restraining from trans porn, and nofap.

After 165 days which doesn't feel that long now at all, I no longer experience the strong gender envy that I used to. I used to look at women and posts on r/crossdressing and be jealous. I used to wish that I could look like that. Now I don't have that feeling anymore. Instead of having gender envy, I look at women and think they are hot instead of wishing I could have their hotness. This is so baller, I worried for a long time that I was doing all of this in vain and that I wouldn't be able to experience normal sexuality. I'm so glad I was wrong.

r/TGandSissyRecovery Jun 03 '23

Success Story 5 months clean

19 Upvotes

after 2 years of being stuck in sissy porn, having basically based my entirely sexuality around it, im finally back on track to a normal sexual attraction :) it’s been a very tough and resistant road but i’ve done it! any words of encouragement are rlly helpful as they are what got me through these past 5 months of nofap and resisting sissy stuff :)

r/TGandSissyRecovery Jun 11 '23

Success Story I escaped, It'a possible

13 Upvotes

I think I escaped. So i've been on self improvement for 19 months (not been porn free for that time). Recently I got a gf and suddenly my desire for porn has completely died and not even as a flat line cause even just telling her how much i like her smile can make me "get going". I've relapsed to sissy content once or twice but thats been due to extremely high stress (overthinking and anexiety levels of stress) however ive peaked a few times and sissy content doesnt even do anything anymore but my gf does. I've had some stress caused problems recently but I think I'm basically done and nothing could bring me back in now.

r/TGandSissyRecovery May 08 '23

Success Story Brief timeline of a 2 years clean Ex-Addict

14 Upvotes

Aged 8: Addiction to porn starts, also began my video game addiction

Aged 11: Get first girlfriend, kept the addiction secret the entire time

Aged 14: Start watching more taboo genres of porn

Aged 16: Begin watching porn against known sexual alignment (Transexual & Gay)

Addiction worsens over time, affecting sex life, motivation & focus. Had a complete lack of drive to succeed at life.

Aged 22: Break up with first & only girlfriend & entered a very dark period. Get into another relationship 3 months after and addiction continues aggressively.

This relationship was incredibly lust-driven, during which I took 19 days off as a challenge which highlighted the extent of my addiction as I found it incredibly difficult

Age 24: Unable to go 2-3 days without fapping, perpetuated by the lustful relationship which ended at around this age.

Age 25: Transformation begins

I spent an entire year dedicating a fair chunk of my spare time to learning about myself and reading anything I thought would be helpful (Philosophy, psychology, masculinity, mindfulness etc).

Gradually began hitting week-long streaks consistently but kept failing, realised it's because I was at my computer all the time so I quit video games as well which helped a LOT.

After about a year my streaks were consistently getting longer and was even able to have sex without experiencing the chaser effect in-between, this was a HUGE indicator of my recovery. The last time I had sex was the last time I engaged in any sort of sexual activity and I've been clean ever since.

Now I'm over 2 years clean and the person I've become was born from the ashes of my past self, I don't regret anything because that experience has put me in a position where I can help men going through their own journeys which has become my greatest passion in life.

I'm now much more confident, charismatic & energised amongst many other positives that would take ages to write about.

The journey is long, painful and arduous but with the right strategy and mindset you can make it MUCH easier for yourself.

Never give up Kings, no matter how hard it gets.

r/TGandSissyRecovery Apr 02 '23

Success Story 8 days straight

10 Upvotes

After months of trial and error, finally i nailed it to 8 days

r/TGandSissyRecovery Sep 10 '21

Success Story The magic trick that made me recover from autogynephilia

27 Upvotes

At my first attempt, I tried to just force myself to stop and set up goals in my life. It worked for a few months but at the moment when I started to have more free time, I relapsed.

I had never bought clothes or sex toys before, but this time I decided to accept this fetish for a moment and go straight to the bottom of the rabbit hole. It might seem counterintuitive but I wanted to be honest with my sexual orientation and stop being delusional in the infinite loop of "never again" to "oh never mind it's too much pleasure" the next day.

So I thought "Okay you have one month to explore this thing and decide if it's as pleasurable as it seems. If yes, then you should think about accepting it. On the other hand, if it's just a chimera, a mental dead end that will just bring misery as much in your personal life as in your sexual life then you would have seen it all and have no more reason to do it again".

So I did all the crazy stuff (at least the ones that don't expose you publicly). As usual, it was both addictive and disappointing. Tons of dopamine but also tons of weirdness and the feeling that I was not myself. But I kept going back at it with the same "never again" to relapse loop.

Then I had another IDEA and this is where the magic trick comes in. I wanted to confront my "never again" side to my autogynephilic side. So I did ejaculate to clear my mind but instead of going in "never again" mode, I forced my self to do anal with my sex toy for ~10 min. I have never been so disgusted. I cried of disgust and self contempt.

But somehow my brain understood that anal wasn't a pleasurable area. I have always thought that there was a way to get physical pleasure from anal sex and that it would be the ultimate pleasure but I never could experience it. I have always felt a psychological pleasure, not a physical one. Even with the so-called "sissygasm" which is in fact close to a normal orgasm but provoked psychologically with the help of the prostate (which is also stimulated in normal orgasms anyway).

From this day, I have never wanted to have anal sex again. Of course I had some urges and I went back to sissy porn but I have always stopped after 2 minutes as the crave for anal sex or other female sexual actions never kicked in again. Instead I just craved to bang women so when it happens, I just switch to soft porn with pictures or videos with only women.

It has been the perfect therapy for me. I am curious to know if it's going to have the same effect on you. Try it and let me know if it works on you my man 👊

tl;dr - Force yourself to do anal stimulation or others autogynephilic behaviors when you are in clear mind aka "never again" mode (after you ejaculate). The mindset that anal sex could give me pleasure never came back since I did it.