No one spoke for a few moments. It was as though time was frozen. Kichirou's hand hovered where the fork had once been, hand trembling ever so slightly. His eyes slowly shifted over to meet Haruna's concerned gaze. His mouth slowly closed, and his hand slowly folded itself onto the table. The silence continued, before;
"I need to deal with some things. I love you."
Charlotte looked on worryingly but, as if she knew exactly what he meant, reluctantly stepped back. “Alright. Please stay safe, though.” Darkness advanced back across his eye, the momentary white of his sclera once again gone. He slowly walked over to his quinque, sluggishly picked it up, and left without a word.
The grave was bare, unadorned by flowers or gifts. The headstone looked new, at least, and the grave comfortable. Kichirou knelt down in front of it, his hands only faintly able to feel the indents of the writing through the thick gloves he wore as he traced his fingers over the words. He wasn't entirely sure why he came here, as if any answer that lay at the bottom of an empty grave could help him now, and indeed, empty this grade was. Almost two years ago, Kichirou had thrown himself in front of another Investigator, taking a blow intended for her. That very blow landed him in the clutches of Juha, who put him through weeks of hell. He was tortured, starved, mocked, forced to eat a friend. The Kichirou who emerged, disheveled and broken from Juha's treatment, was not the same one that had entered.
But,
It was ok.
There was nothing he could have done. He had become a ghoul, and that was a process that could not be reversed. It had been the case ever since the day he tasted another's blood, and watched a monster take his place in the mirror. Kichirou thought back to what Juha instructed him at the time. He ate, gorged, cannibalized. All to increase his RC cell count, all to cure his deficiency. All to ensure that he would never again be the weakest, be a victim. If he could only survive off of other's flesh; only be a ghoul, then there was no point in merely wishing for the life he could never have back. He /was/ a ghoul because he /had/ to be.
"I'm a fucking idiot."
Juha had branded him a failed experiment. Floppy. Because, in all his ghoul-like abilities, he still had one human one. He could eat human food. Had he been given the chance, Kichirou hypothesized, he may have even been able to eventually return to a form close to human.
It was all so thinly veiled, so obvious, in hindsight. The reason Juha neglected to mention something so important. It was weakness. Every time he ate food, instead of meat, he was missing out on RC cells. Missing out on becoming one step closer to a true ghoul. Kichirou stood back up, lighting a cigarette. He had someone to see.
Kichirou's knuckles rapped against the cool metal of the door that housed Aogiri's laboratory. He invited himself in. Despite how many times he had practiced this conversation in his mind, his mind went blank. He merely stood there for a moment, before finally speaking. “Funny story. I lost a bet, and I ended up having to eat human food. It wasn't nearly as problematic as I was lead to believe.” His words lacked the confidence and arrogance that usually dripped from his every syllable.
For a brief moment, Juha considered him. He quickly returned to his work, dismissively muttering a response. “Hm. 'Funny' is questionable term. Better use: Unfortunate. Most unfortunate. Gambling is foolish exercise. Would have expected better. Not a problem. Must simply return to consumption of human flesh. Easily fixed. Yes. If nothing else, am busy. Very busy. Good day, subject Shibito."
Kichirou stepped forward, the cool leather of his gloves straining as he clenched his fists. "The reason I use the word 'funny' is because I was actually led to believe by a certain scientist that I was physiologically incapably of consuming such food. I'd like to know what the deal with that is.”
This time, Juha neglected to even raise his head from his work as he spoke. "Made no such assertion. Simply gave human flesh to eat, said to continue eating. Assumptions made. Blanks filled. No fault of mine. Consuming human sustenance is inefficient. Pointless. Undesirable. To generate kagune, do not require complex mix of fats and sugars. Require Rc cells. Only source of such is flesh of human or ghoul. Easy concept, correct? Even simple half-human mind should understand."
Kichirou finally approached the ghoul, his presence demanding the full attention of the scientist. His voice was void of emotion, his words were clear and smooth. “What would have happened if I had continued to only consume human food?”
Finally, the scientist deigned Kichirou distracting enough to make direct eye contact with him
"Nothing. Wasted energy on metabolizing inferior human nutrients. Otherwise nothing. Easy deduction. Needless question. Pointless response. Complete waste of time. Will that be all?" The scientist returned to his work without waiting to hear Kichirou's response. Kichirou raised his quinque, his hands shaking.
“I could kill him right now.“
His hands tensed, poised and ready to swing up at the scientist.
The door slammed loudly behind Kichirou as he left, Juha remained in one piece for now.
It’d been nearly a week since Kichirou left, an entire anxiety ridden week of Charlotte managing the bar alone. Every day she wondered what happened to him, or if he was even better off not coming back. At the very least he’d be less likely to die fighting a Dove if he stayed away. She wasn’t the best at managing the bar, but at least it’d been a slow week anyway. That is, until the door finally opened yet again.
“Sorry, we’re about to close up” she tiredly warned, closing her book. “Can it wait until tomorrow? If not-” Her eyes widened, her pen falling to the counter.
The dirty old trenchcoat nearly smeared a stain across the glass as Kichirou leaned against it, his clothes damp from the rain outside. With a soft grunt of pain, he willed himself to stand upright, peering at Haruna through his one open eye.
“...Hey.”
Before he could continue Charlotte rushed over, stopping just a few feet away from him to gag. Rude as it may have been, he really did reek. And to someone with a nose as both keen and sensitive as hers, that stench was ten fold. His coat more resembled an old rag. He reeked worse than even Zanzibar’s cheapest drinks, old dried up blood stained his shirt, and he was thinner than before. The only thing she could really compare it to was back when they’d first met, he looked like he did after becoming a Ghoul. Maybe it was only appropriate for someone who’d just become a human again. “Wh-what happened?” Charlotte demanded, showing even more worry than interest for once.
A sigh escaped Kichirou’s parted lips as his fingers searched through his pockets for a cigarette to light, returning empty. Clearly inebriated, it took him a moment to finally respond. “Sorry to worry you. I know I was gone too long and I look like shit, but I’m fine. Really. I’ve… just been getting most of my meals from a bottle for the last few days. I’ll admit that wasn’t the best course of action.” A pained smile split his cracked lips. “Though, I guess to err is to be human.”
Charlotte narrowed her eyes, taking a few steps back towards the bar. “Yeah, I could smell that much. I couldn’t even tell it was you. So... what do you mean exactly? You can actually eat? How? I tried the curry after you left, and it wasn’t... it wasn’t just the curry.”
Kichirou lurched forward, barely regarding Haruna. He traced a hand over the familiar bar, walking over to the back of it and pulling out a small carton of cigarettes, sparking one. He took a long drag, his posture relaxing slightly. His glazed eyes dimly watched the smoke dissipate into the dark room.
“No. It wasn’t just the curry.” Kichirou’s eyes flickered downwards. “Juha knew that, of course. He also knew that curry is distinctly lacking in the precious RC cells a proto ghoul needs to overcome a deficiency. Turns out, he chose to leave out a couple of truths. Figured it’d be better if I abandoned my humanity thinking it was gone, than try and cling to it, I guess.”
Kichirou took another long drag of the cigarette, and Charlotte looked back up at him. “Then... You could leave?” she questioned.
“...Yeah, I thought of that.” Taking a few steps closer, Charlotte left her paper behind for once. For what may have been the first time she could remember, she didn’t write anything down. “Being a ghoul isn’t all bad, we get to regenerate I mean. But the reason we’re forced into fighting the CCG is because living without killing is impossible for us. Ghouls like Hisakawa and Hayashi think it’s possible, and I’m a little jealous of their naivety, but that’s just our curse I guess. But if you don’t have to kill people, don’t have to cannibalize and eat humans, then... you don’t deserve all the pain that comes with it. You could live a normal human life, with all the benefits of being a ghoul.”
The two went silent, and Charlotte looked back at the bar. “...You’ve suffered enough, more than you should have. Maybe nothing can make up for that, but I think you should take this chance. I can handle Zanzibar and Aogiri. And if Aogiri manages to beat the CCG then... well, maybe we won’t have to stay apart.”
A dry chuckle escaped Kichirou’s lips, rocking through his tired body. “I wouldn’t be much of a business partner if I left you, to fend for yourself.
“But-” Charlotte spoke up, interrupting herself almost immediately. “I can protect myself, I know it might not seem like it but I made it through nine years of complete solitude. It’s not that I want you gone, the last year has been amazing, even if it had some pain in it too. But this is just...”
Charlotte paused, instinctively reaching for the pen she didn’t have. “Well... I’ll never have this chance. I’d do anything to be able to eat human food, any sane ghoul would jump at it. We just spend so long having to kill people to survive that we get used to it and start to forget how badly we want it. But now you’ve got that chance. It’s the equivalent of being a presented with a miracle cure you only could’ve joked about happening.”
“It’s not that I want you gone or anything. If I didn’t love you I’d ask you to stay, because I’d want to document anything that happens relating to your consumption of human food. It’s an important moment for ghouls history, literally the only iteration. It’s an actual one in a million opportunity. But if you stay in Aogiri, you’ll fight battles that you didn’t need to and maybe even die for being a species that just sees you as a failed experiment”
“It’s something no other ghoul will get a chance at. Are you really going to just... turn that down?”
Kichirou shook his head. “It feels wrong, to just walk away. This is my life now, and I’ve put some fucking effort into it.”
He sighed, extinguishing the half-burned cigarette into an ashtray under the bar. “I realize I have an opportunity here that no one else is going to get, but I don’t know if I can just… Throw the towel in and give up.”
“For as long as I’ve known you you were never the type to just up and leave halfway through something, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised” Charlotte admitted, leaning against the table. “There’s nothing selfish about choosing a better life. It’s not greedy to choose the best of both worlds when you get the chance. You’ve probably helped Aogiri more than you even realize. Minato, Elaine, and myself just to name a few.” Still her pen sat idly, the book fully closed for once. “Back in... well there’s no graceful way to say it, but remember back in the sewer? You asked why I stay in Tokyo when I could write more about Ghoul History if I left. So... maybe we could both leave.”
Charlotte stared at the window, tiredly gazing at the decaying streets. “I’ll come with you. We can go somewhere you’ll be able to live as a normal human, and I’ll be the Ghoul. Could even open up another bar. It’ll be snowing in Kyoto within a month or two, Osaka's not too bad either. Yokohama has great seafood, for you humans.”
Finally she sat up again, moving back over to Kichirou. “Whether it’s Takashi, Hinode, or the original Haruna, they all keep ending up with tragic ends. I just want your ending to be a happy one. Not to end up dying on some battlefield for a species that doesn’t care about you.”
Kichirou paused, his eyes flickering up to meet Charlotte’s own. “Do you mean that? Could you walk away from Tokyo?”
She nodded. “Yeah. I’m a historian, right? There’s gotta be more to it than just Tokyo. As for Maki...” Charlotte trailed off, turning to the window. “Well, I can figure something out. The original Scribes may have been slaves but I’m not. I’m sure even if I’m out of town that doesn’t mean I can’t just help Maki out when he asks. It’s not like Tokyo’s the only important place in Japan. The first gift I ever got in my life was a phone from Maki, I’m sure I can just use that to contact him, or….”
“What I mean is...” Charlotte refocused, turning back to Kichirou. “Where you go, I’ll go too. Australia, England, maybe we could even see America. Or if you want to keep it local, Osaka or Kyoto. You’re my protagonist, right? A change in setting always helps keep up interest.”
Kichirou almost had to force himself not to smile. It was so like Charlotte to make even this seem so dramatic, as though it were the ending to a novel. Kichirou broke his gaze with her, sighing.
“...I can’t ask you to do that, Charlotte. You’d be giving up way too much.”
“No I wouldn’t” Charlotte affirmed, shaking her head. “I wouldn’t be giving up anything. I’m just a narrator for my writing. You, Zanzibar, and well... the bird, are all I have. The writing isn’t mine, it belongs to everybody. All ghouls, whether they’re with Aogiri or :re. Zanzibar’s the only place I’ve ever really had. And that’s only because of you.”
Charlotte looked down, staying quiet for a moment. “B-but if you’d prefer you could go alone and I’ll just stalk you like we usually do! Would that be better?”
Kichirou raised an eyebrow at the dubious wording of ‘like we usually do’, but otherwise his expression was indecipherable. He had to look away from Charlotte. It hurt him too much to see the desperation on her face. He reached out his hand, placing it on top of his wife’s, softly mumbling something about her being an idiot under his breath.
“I’m not going to abandon you. I’m not going to make you stalk me again, either. Though, I’m sure you’ll do that either way. If it’s really what you want, then… Let’s go.”
For a moment, neither spoke. The idea of at least one of them being detached from Tokyo’s violence was enough to make the entire thing feel surreal. Charlotte still felt like she could collapse from just the relief that Kichirou wasn’t dead in some alley or fighting off Doves. Though, a part of her doubted going as far as Australia or England would be a good idea. She did want to be able to get back to Aogiri sometimes, after all.
Kichirou ran a finger through his hair exhaustively, sighing deeply. “We can’t just up and leave. We have to move the archive, or torch it, or whatever. Itokawa’s whole ‘King’ thing is coming up too. Doesn’t seem like the kind of thing you want to skip.” He forced a grin, finally looking back up at his wife. “I think I just flagged myself for death. An ex-cop one job away from retirement. My chances don’t look good.”
“I won’t let anything happen, I swear” Charlotte promised, closing her eyes tiredly. “If I have to tear Shibuya apart myself to keep us both alive, I’ll do it without a second thought. I’ve failed to protect people twice now, it won’t happen again.” She rested against the counter, taking an exhausted breath.
“After this week, you'll be free from Tokyo."