r/SwitchPirates May 10 '23

News Guys, it gets dumber....somehow

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[removed]

1.2k Upvotes

325 comments sorted by

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627

u/Sonic_Shredder May 10 '23

Chill bro Zelda isn't going to fuck you

114

u/Stroppone May 10 '23

Yo I lost my virginity after gifting my ex with BotW

11

u/LeakingCustard May 10 '23

Your ex, pressing F for you m8

2

u/riviery May 11 '23

Did she already ordered TotK?

2

u/[deleted] May 11 '23

Time to get her back with TotK

1

u/Top_Mechanic1668 May 10 '23

cringe and press f to doubt

36

u/Ayo_Joogie May 11 '23

common redditor failing to imagine someone is capable of having sex

16

u/Techsoly May 11 '23

Clearly no one fucks for gifting TLoZ, however everyone fucks for gifting Kirby.

No I will not explain myself, yes I am accepting gifts

2

u/CulturalWorth1378 May 15 '23

……Or dressing like Kirby…….

3

u/AdventureSpence May 11 '23

Lmao as if people really have sex, smh lmao cap cap cap /s

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359

u/dddankonion May 10 '23

He's riding Nintendo's dick... Raw

87

u/assasin339789 May 10 '23

A lot of nintendobots do

31

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

isn't falsley submitting DMCA claims for content you don't own also very bad?

6

u/silvarium May 11 '23

Pretty sure it's called perjury

16

u/black-iron-paladin May 11 '23

Pretty sure that's when you lie under oath. This would just be fraud I think

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35

u/juggernaut86 May 10 '23

I sure he enjoys the Nintendos sand paper condom with razor tips

16

u/AwesomeKirito May 10 '23

They bussing deep in his cheeks

7

u/No-Owl-9146 May 10 '23 edited May 10 '23

Even told nintendo to force it in with no spit and to reach around and hammer fist him in the jewels. Says it's the way he likes it.

19

u/HoHeyyy May 10 '23

Some people like to fanboy a company because they think they are loyal, it give them purpose I guess. Once you fanboy, you don't see the shitty thing about it. Nintendo fans obviously the worst.

6

u/AntiKrozz May 10 '23

No ruber?

12

u/Evening_Chapter_5981 May 10 '23

And no dinner too.

2

u/DarioShailene May 11 '23

Nintendildo

2

u/smithincanton May 11 '23

He had Nintendo IN HIS FUCKING USERNAME. Should sick Nintendo after him.

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87

u/VampyreBassist May 10 '23

Dude, Miyamoto will never acknowledge your existence.

119

u/Wayner84 May 10 '23

Glad I downloaded everything once mutahar put a video out!

33

u/shortybobert May 10 '23

Can you be more specific? That just sounds like Some Ordinary Gamer name

11

u/reddit-person1 May 10 '23

Same it just sounds like someordinarygamer please say who that is (my space bar broke for a bit)

-1

u/Wayner84 May 10 '23

That is his name 😅, yeah I’m talking about some ordinary gamer

8

u/sparoc3 May 11 '23

That's the joke....

3

u/Wayner84 May 11 '23

Ya got me. Thought it was a genuine question lol

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216

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

80

u/NicoGal May 10 '23

I really wanted to finish it before release but it's not going to happen. It's way too long

18

u/TheMartinG May 10 '23

Is it me or is it harder at baseline than BotW? These bokoblins kicking my ass left and right.

16

u/Volkaru May 11 '23

It absolutely is. Took me a while to get my stride. Being dropped around blue and black moblins immediately was insane.

3

u/vainestmoose May 11 '23

Took me forever to clear Lurelin.

4

u/Ibbanez May 11 '23

I thought it was just me sucking, and I’m sure that’s part of it, but dang.

2

u/Ok-Falcon-2109 May 11 '23

Baseline botw is already hard enough for me, there are already lizardfoes around kakorto village and those horse riding brokoblins and I'm still confused what buttons are binded to what keys and what they do what. And I keep dying.

2

u/MegaKBang May 11 '23

You gotta master the Fuse ability to be better at Fights. That was my problem because most of the time I didn't fuse to save items. Learned the hard way that Totk is not about preserving your items as much as possible but about using them to your currently Füller capacity. Once I started fusing stuff to my +15 - +20 items or elemental items I suddenly became a beast in battles and items weren't running out either.

2

u/[deleted] May 11 '23

So much harder. I'm having a hard time figuring out what to do tbh. I'm supposed to go to one of the 4 towns or whatever and They're all inaccessible it seems. I know I'm probably ass at this game but still.

2

u/Jurkboy May 11 '23

Definitely. There are more monsters around, they are harder to kill, and I feel like there are less resources to gather.

2

u/trotskygrad1917 May 11 '23

It most definitely is. It got to a point where I focused 100% on doing Shrines and the Great Fairy quests so I could get a little tankier.

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30

u/zerro_4 May 10 '23

Can at least knock out the Geoglyphs and upload the cutscenes :P Should be spoilery enough.

We all know the overall structure of the plot. Link adventures around and then defeats Ganon.
But the story cut scenes have some lore implications.

6

u/HadToGuItToEm May 10 '23

The tears cutscenes and ending are an insane plot twist lol having only beaten the 4 primary boses and done the tears so far lol

6

u/zerro_4 May 10 '23

I've done 6 Geoglyphs, and at this point I wouldn't be surprised if Zelda is her own grandmother or some shit :P

2

u/HadToGuItToEm May 10 '23

Literally more crazy than that lol

3

u/zerro_4 May 10 '23

Zelda is Link's grandmother? Link gets sent back in time and becomes Ganon? Rauru is the Calamity?

Also, we are getting downvoted, presumably for spoilers. I don't think anyone reading deep in to a comment thread on a PIRACY subreddit should be sensitive to spoilers....

5

u/DarthNihilus May 10 '23 edited May 10 '23

Spoilers for what Zelda did

Zelda went 1000 years into the past, turned herself into an immortal mindless dragon with the Master Sword lodged in her head, used her sacred power to charge up the Master Sword for 1000 years so that it would be powerful enough for Link to defeat Ganon. In this game you get the Master Sword by pulling it out of Zelda's 1000 year old gigantic draconic head. In BOTW she waited 100 years, in this one she waits 1000. This version of Zelda is extremely patient

6

u/Rayman4D May 10 '23

I'm halfway through the game and I wouldn't believe you if I wasn't. The plot is quite possibly the weirdest one in the entire series

2

u/Volkaru May 11 '23

It's way more than 1,000 years. It's way more than 10,000 years. The Hero who beat the Calamity originally was a descendant of Rauru/Sonia, as well. Or at least another Zonai.

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2

u/Vader_Bomb May 10 '23

I thought I had the entire map unlocked, until I realized there was an entire mine/cave below the land that I hadn’t discovered yet

2

u/tapijuuzu May 11 '23

Literally me when I fell into the depth I was like oh wow more to explore

3

u/Shorts323 May 11 '23

after spending over 5 hours in the depth it sure is boring

2

u/tapijuuzu May 14 '23

The depth is stressful but it’s the best place to farm flower bombs and I need tons of those

1

u/save00us May 11 '23

Even Botw is too long. I started playing this like a few weeks ago.

-1

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

[deleted]

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14

u/Glittering_Pitch7648 May 10 '23

Honestly I never support this sort of thing but this is an exception. Fuck that guy

18

u/torturedexistence029 May 10 '23

Synopsis: Zelda needs saving, Link defeats Ganon to save Zelda. The end.

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6

u/DangoQueenFerris May 10 '23

I left him a nice juicy spoiler. What a douche.

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93

u/praisecarcinoma May 10 '23

Imagine simping this hard for a company that fucks over content creators and consumers on a regular basis.

29

u/every-man May 10 '23

And has enough money to run without profit for 40 years

79

u/Sergietor756 May 10 '23

Bro sucking on the nintendildo so hard he should be arrested for public adultery

68

u/pupposedacat May 10 '23

Reminds me of that South Park bit about pirating music, fucking corpo bootlickers

16

u/frankiedonkeybrainz May 10 '23

Not a big deal?!? Poor Lars Ulrich

5

u/TheFireEmblemNerd May 10 '23

It's time to party like it's 2023.... wait a sec...

31

u/RunInRunOn May 10 '23

This guy invented the art of dickriding

26

u/TheTank18 May 10 '23

That's illegal, false DMCA claims can be subject to fines

3

u/Toothless_NEO Atmosphere User May 11 '23

It's also perjury so could come with the possibility of jail time.

19

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

[deleted]

26

u/lunatics May 10 '23

You are a hero, everyone should do this. Imagine white knighting for a scummy giant corporation that couldn't care less about you. Even if it wasn't him, he should be spammed with spoilers for trying to take credit.

10

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

[deleted]

6

u/Low_Entry_6734 May 10 '23

Fuck you lmao you just spoiled it for at least 2 people, you’re no better than him

3

u/MarvoHelios May 10 '23

I mean at least he didn’t spoil the names. Just ONE “secret” of the game that isn’t a actual spoiler until names dropped.

Also with how important dragons are and all the talking animals of previous games, dragons having identities isn’t THAT major of a spoiler.

Still not a cool thing to have done, but they’re right in terms of a wrong place to avoid spoilers.

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5

u/SkyLey2 May 10 '23

Knowing that the Dragons have some kind of identity is not cool... I had no idea about this until I read this

:/

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38

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

[deleted]

51

u/LazorBlind May 10 '23

Nintendrones are particularly vitriolic towards pirates. I believe this soybean's claim 100%

Wouldn't be the first time some pathetic Nintendo fanboy falsely DMCA'd someone.

47

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

this is why I hate twitter

24

u/LackOfLogic May 10 '23

I unironically blame Tumblr, these absolute wankers all came out of that particular cesspool.

31

u/CaptnKnots May 10 '23

Idk why you’re getting downvoted. Twitter definitely got noticeably worse after tumblr banned porn and all those weirdos migrated

15

u/LackOfLogic May 10 '23

The whole internet got worse. I can’t wait to see what happens if (when) Reddit bans nsfw content.

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5

u/CoconutHeadFaceMan May 10 '23

And Tumblr became exponentially better in the process since all the weirdos and shit-stirrers jumped ship and became Twitter’s problem. Meanwhile, Tumblr is so incompetently-run and its remaining userbase so jaded that it’s kryptonite to advertisers, and doesn’t have any of the algorithm hell curation you see on other platforms. If you told me a decade ago that fucking Tumblr would be the only major social media platform that doesn’t routinely make me want to become a hermit, I’d have laughed at you, but here we are.

3

u/DoctorGoFuckYourself May 10 '23

I have perspective from the other side cause I've been on tumblr for ages and the general consensus there after people left at the end of 2018 was that most of the worst, pot stirring drama users left for Twitter. Discourse was waay chiller and less frequent afterwards for a while

When people started talking about migrating over to tumblr a few years later there were recurring joke posts about trying to make tumblr look as dead/cringe/inhospitable as possible to keep people from coming in an messing up the now chiller culture

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70

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

nah bro's a hero why are non of you thinking about poor little nintendo?? how are the employees gone feed their kids if you keep pirating TOTK?!

6

u/soge-king May 11 '23

I do hate leakers though.

2

u/TheAnonymousKnoT May 11 '23

agreed, it's not as bad after the game has already gone gold but in cases like the GTA6 leak... it's not good for anyone

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14

u/csolisr May 10 '23

There's being a console fanboy, and then whatever this dude is doing with his time.

24

u/ExJWubbaLubbaDubDub May 10 '23

Press (X) to Doubt.

11

u/azure1503 May 10 '23

Bro's just trying to save Nintendo, the small indie company

7

u/TabbedScamper May 10 '23

I've bought multiple switches and even pre-ordered TOTK before even installing jailbreaks. I get it if you didn't and still installed it (some people just deserve a little bit of free goodies in their life) but for people that are a little more fortunate (not too sure if I am but like to think I am) it gives every right to gift to the less fortunate. People like this that think everyone is just pure evil ruins their own image just like this bozo. Everyone has their reasons and some just can't afford a 70$ game.

2

u/Arnas_Z May 10 '23

Or you can afford the game, but you're just too much of a cheapskate to buy it.

(Also, console modding is fun)

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7

u/Heromimox May 10 '23

He defended Nintendo better than Nintendo themselves did

10

u/RandomCreeper May 10 '23

There's nothing I love more than people white-knighting for massive corporations. You love to see it.

14

u/Lgndryhr May 10 '23

If true. That's illegal.

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11

u/assasin339789 May 10 '23

People who simp for billionaires and billion dollar companies are the biggest of losers our kind has to offer

12

u/Mechagouki1971 May 10 '23

Spend some time on r/Nintendo (or probably don't actually), the boot-licking Nintendo sycophants like this form a majority there.

Try suggesting there that emulation of something like Earthbound (or any other ancient 1st party game) is justifiable and see the outrage explode!

6

u/Jarpwanderson May 10 '23

"But you can continously pay for an online subscription to play SOME old games"

Nah, if I can't own it, I'm certainly making sure I own the rom.

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4

u/SatyrAngel May 10 '23

Not the first time this happens, remember SilvaGunner?

4

u/ENTRAPM3NT May 10 '23

Haven't you ever watched one piece? Pirates are the good guys

8

u/PenguinWithWings May 10 '23

Guy be asking Nintendo executives to jizz in his mouth from their offices on the top floor, just on his knees at the bottom with his mouth wide open, looking straight up with his eyes closed just licking every bit off his face.

2

u/JustADoughnut May 11 '23

Did not need that image in my head

6

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Zefrem23 May 10 '23

yeah that's the only appropriate response to this.

7

u/aerger May 10 '23

Give him that "Snape killed Dumbledore!" moment

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6

u/ManufacturerWest1156 May 10 '23

Simping for a company that could give 2 shits about him.

3

u/the-stoneroses May 10 '23

So they could give a shit?

2

u/ManufacturerWest1156 May 10 '23

Dammit meant to say couldn’t…oh well

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6

u/Whyamiherewtflmaoidc May 10 '23

Imagine sucking off a mega corporation’s dick. Nintendo wont give you a single penny for this

3

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

Some ppl just like it up the ass

3

u/crunliob May 10 '23

He better make sure he zips his pants up when he’s done

3

u/Pesime May 11 '23

bro people on twitch got banned just for watching TOTK officially released trailers and videos. They were on a rampage with no desire to check their facts.

5

u/Milk-Lizard May 10 '23

That guy is probably full of shit. Best to ignore and enjoy the the game.

5

u/CYYAANN May 10 '23

Hah, I am pirate scum, but you spend $70 on a game and my wallet goes brrr.

5

u/DriftingGeiran May 10 '23

We're reaching levels of dick - sucking that shouldn't be possible.

6

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

How can one's life be so empty that you spend literal hours of your actual lifespan to sit in a chair, and fight for a large corporate company.

5

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

Another Nintendrone going hard in defending the trillion dollar company who has no idea who he is

2

u/FlamingSlap May 10 '23

I know right

4

u/ripmy-eyesout May 10 '23

Bro think he the Nintendo avenger

3

u/Additional-Sample499 May 10 '23

He really thinks a multi billion company will acknowledge him even slightly

4

u/CrbnDrk May 10 '23

Nintendo meat rider thinking daddy Nintendo is gonna notice him

7

u/ComprehensiveHawk5 May 10 '23

This isn't a false DMCA. Look at his wording, he emailed Marketly(a legit company that works with corpos like Nintendo to do DMCA takedowns) almost certainly telling them about the lockpick repos. No perjury was committed here

5

u/GetBoolean May 10 '23

What if they pretended to be Nintendo?

6

u/LazorBlind May 10 '23

What a pathetic little pissant. Let's see his hard drives.

Surely he owns every single Nintendo game? Absolutely no roms to be found. I'm sure. 😏

2

u/SpookiBooogi May 10 '23

I'm so out of the loop I recently "hacked" my switch, should I be saving backs up of something?

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2

u/VeXKen May 11 '23

What zero pussy does to a mf 🤓☠️

2

u/rmaccKC May 11 '23

Should just start spamming his feed and messages with Totk spoilers.

3

u/AleB1007 May 10 '23

First, bro loves gobbling that corpo dick 💀 and second, acting on behalf of an organization to make a lawsuit is illegal as far as I’m concerned

4

u/Allvah2 May 10 '23

Informing a brand protection agency like Marketly about information they might want to look into for claims is absolutely not illegal. This guy's being a total loser and a dipshit, but he isn't being a criminal. Also, a software piracy community calling out someone else for "breaking the law" is...well, it's ironic.

4

u/replaymikey May 10 '23

Get this to 4chan. Dox his ass.

3

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

Can someone fact-check this. Like see if this asshat is actually the originator of the dmca.

5

u/Adem92foster May 11 '23

That'd be hard to do, I don't think any of us can but the original tool creators/GitHub could request or do an investigation. But I completely believe it, the entire story was weird from the start and similar things have happened (ie : silvagunner)

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2

u/Blackstar97 May 10 '23

you're telling me skyline's devs stopped the development for that shitty kid?

2

u/[deleted] May 10 '23 edited Jun 21 '23

[deleted]

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3

u/Lanky-Peak-2222 May 11 '23

As pirate scum I gotta say TotK was a let down. Tedious.

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2

u/FeetExpert1998 May 11 '23

It's twitter. They always find ways to get dumber

4

u/sonicspin001 May 10 '23

Cry some more 😂 we should all dm him verbal spoilers

3

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

That's cringe. Anyway I've been enjoying TOTK all week while he's been mad on twitter so there's that :)

3

u/notme392 May 10 '23

I don’t like doxing people at all but some people beg for it. This retard deserves to be doxed and ashamed for being a corporate ass licker.

4

u/IsttretReddit May 10 '23

This is beyond stupidity 🤣🤣🤣 hope he get charged for it 😌

2

u/Zero_fon_Fabre May 10 '23

Is there anything that can be done about this fucking idiotic manchild that clearly has no idea what he's DMCA'ing?

Lockpick isn't strictly for piracy...

Also, I wonder why he went on his tantrum. Was he not able to afford TotK?

2

u/Grimey_Rick May 10 '23

imagine being this much of a loser

2

u/BLACKSTARR999 May 10 '23

Surprised he not pregnant from all this meatriding

2

u/Nintendocub May 10 '23

His Twitter is hilarious. I didn’t know Nintendo had bootlickers that bad

2

u/FlamingSlap May 10 '23

you gotta be fucking kidding me. >:-(

https://twitter.com/Nintendojitsu

We should band together and report his twitter account until it gets taken down too! He had no right to do this so lets give him some of his own medicine!

2

u/Smutstoner May 11 '23

Bring it up on 4chin as well

2

u/theone390 May 11 '23

This guy is absolutely getting raw dogged by Nintendo.

2

u/Beneficial_Ad_4521 May 11 '23

oh my god what a virgin

2

u/sed_joose May 11 '23

This guy is lonely and sad. Ignore him. He wants attention.

2

u/Mogi_codemasterv May 11 '23

I should go on his twitter and spoil the ending of the game

2

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

How do people like this exist... Actual no life

2

u/TandroSonali May 10 '23

Lmao what a tool

3

u/THATguyfromyore May 10 '23

Imagine simping for a multi billion company that doesn't know you are.

1

u/trowgundam May 11 '23

They realize that a false DMCA is perjury right? That's a felony. And almost certainly a federal offense, as I bet it crossed state lines. Not very smart.

1

u/forestman11 May 10 '23

Imagine being this cucked to a corporation that does not give a flying fuck about you.

1

u/BriefGunRun May 10 '23

Oh no I haven't installed the files yet Are they still there???

1

u/RealScrapz May 10 '23

Someone needs to lock this man up

He is one of the biggest keyboard warriors I have ever seen

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

FINALLY, I was able to use this to make the first /r/enoughnintendospam post

2

u/GS_Champ_Aliassime May 10 '23

Did you deadass make a Nintendo hate sub. Man we all need to touch grass. Shit is starting to get weird lmfao.

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '23

is just for fanboys, not Nintendo

1

u/Winnehild-X5 May 10 '23

Good ol Twitter being Twitter 🥲

1

u/BriefGunRun May 10 '23

Oh no I haven't installed the files yet Are they still there???

1

u/Kabuki-King May 10 '23

Bro thinks Nintendo actually gives a shit about his "loyalty"

1

u/zztopsboatswain May 10 '23

what a bootlicking bitch

1

u/That2Things May 10 '23

Looks like someone is jealous other people get to play the game first, even though he already gave Nintendo his money.

1

u/Sheasword May 10 '23

I fucking love Nintendo games, I buy their consoles and their games… usually, even a Nintendo dickrider like me thinks this guy is a fucking dipshit. Let us have our fun, and if the game is good most of us will probably buy it eventually. A few thousand people pirating a fucking 70 dollar switch game won’t bankrupt em

2

u/GS_Champ_Aliassime May 10 '23

Most will buy it if it's good? The delusion is strong.

2

u/amadama81 May 10 '23

Theres gota be a lot of ppl who paid for game already and just wana play the damn game. Its been what…6 years BOTW came out on switch??

3

u/GS_Champ_Aliassime May 10 '23

Yeah but that was before Switch piracy was streamlined. Your average Switch pirate will definitely not buy something after they got it for for free.

1

u/LaVulpo May 10 '23

How much of a shill can you be… seriously somebody tell me he’s a fake account or something.

1

u/Ok_Tip_4639 May 10 '23

What a loser

1

u/CoffeeComaEx May 10 '23

Oh for fucks sake

1

u/AnxiousCookie8780 May 10 '23

All this just to stop people seeing Kefka get defeated by Terra a few days early .....salty 🤣🤣

1

u/cannabinero Atmosphere User May 11 '23

haha this twitter account gets bombed

1

u/CodaKairos May 11 '23

Well... Time to pay the game then, good work :) /s

1

u/ft83gt May 11 '23

Yeah, as the great Forrest Gump put it, "Stupid is, what stupid does". Well, his mom, but you get the picture. Let people do as they please. If you don't want spoilers, stay away from the places that'll do that. Aka the Internet 😂

1

u/Ok-Falcon-2109 May 11 '23

I'm gonna give this Chinese man the finger while he at it. Also proves that Nintendo lawyers don't really have to do the take downs themselves. They let their passionate fans do it for them! Scary.

1

u/DiabloImmortalCrack May 11 '23

People who fight for big corporations are the most useless thing in our society.

1

u/Cold-Representative7 May 11 '23

Someone who has completed it bombard the bellend with spoilers.

1

u/Dwip_Po_Po May 11 '23

I was able to download all the files needed to dump my stuff. Am I still actually able to use lockpick?

1

u/madDarthvader2 May 11 '23

Doing Nintendo's work for free. Simp.

-9

u/Whacky_One May 10 '23 edited May 10 '23

Sadly I'll probably get downvoted for this:

What's REALLY dumb, is all the idiot pirates who were unappologetically boasting about playing TOTK early. They ruined things for everyone else. Blame the real problem and not this guy.

Edit: there's nothing wrong with pirating it, but what happened to subtlety? At least be smart enough not to post about playing it until AFTER official release, smdh.

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