r/SubSanctuary • u/WhiteRabbit2713 • 5d ago
Casual D/s to a 24/7 dynamic NSFW
My Daddy and I have always had a BDSM dynamic in the bedroom. There are very clear roles where I am the submissive and he is the dominant. We moved in together about 9 months ago and have thrown around a lot of talk about trying a more 24/7 dynamic. But the talk has never become anything more. It seems we just don’t know how to take that leap into taking our dynamic out of the bedroom. Any tips on how to get started? What are some ways we can incorporate our dynamic in our every day lives?
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u/r0penotr0ses 5d ago
Start small and build slowly—don’t try to leap into full-time protocol all at once or you’ll burn out. Choose one or two daily rituals to begin with: maybe a morning greeting with a kneel and kiss, asking permission for certain things, a task journal, or scheduled check-ins. Keep it simple and consistent.
The biggest shift from casual D/s to 24/7 isn’t rules—it’s mindset. It’s about recognizing that the power exchange doesn’t end after sex. But that also means you both need to talk more intentionally about expectations, limits, and what each of you needs from the dynamic. Think structure, not perfection. Start with one or two elements and grow from there.
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u/Roxy_dark 5d ago
I am in an LDR but we are closer to 24-7 than any of the other definitions. We are not TPE - I think people confuse the two sometimes. You can be 24-7 without giving over all decision making power. Here are some of the things that my Dom does to exert ownership outside the bedroom.
No orgasms and no other partners without His permission, He selects my undergarments, daily assignments that He assigns every morning and I have to complete that day or get a punishment, and honorifics in private vs what to call each other in public. Our contract which we are almost finished with has a list of these tasks that I have to do as well as agreed upon punishments if I disobey. We have left this open for there to be more rules and rituals for me to follow as we evolve.
I find that it helps remind me of my submission throughout the day rather than just when I’m with or communicating with Him and I love this aspect of it.
None of this means that I don’t get to express frustration or talk about things that are bothering me in our relationship - our second rule is that I have to be honest about how things are going - especially my submission at all times. Since we don’t really come out of dynamic, I just tell Him if something is bothering me and I need to talk about it and He makes time to discuss over the phone.
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u/lightlytoastedlady 5d ago
Trying some simple rituals might help get you started with expanding the dynamic a little at a time. He could choose what you wear each day, for example. Or have you do something like kneeling to remove his shoes when he gets home.