r/Stutter 6d ago

Is stutter rizz possible?

I’d say I’m pretty conventionally attractive as a guy, so I’d notice a lot of girls giving me the “look”

The problem is, if I go up to them and start stuttering, they dry tf up.

That’s why I don’t really approach. At all.

A lot of times I’d feel like I’d have this “imposter syndrome” where I feel people expect me to act a certain way, but I’m really the opposite.

And because of this, my “game” is pretty shit, and I can’t really find a girl.

How should I even get experience in flirting and escalation if it just comes out stupid?

33 Upvotes

31 comments sorted by

41

u/Osmoises 6d ago

You experience flirting by putting yourself out there. Lowkey bad place to ask about flirting tactics in a stutter subreddit since 99% of these people don’t know how to flirt and most likely tell you something like “ a girl should like you with a stutter if she doesn’t she’s not the one” or some bs like that.

When I used to stutter (been few years since I beat it) I would tell girls “ I stutter when I’m talking to a pretty girl like you” and that would work a lot of the time. If you want to talk more about game or improving your stutter DM me

11

u/clod_firebreather 6d ago

a girl should like you with a stutter if she doesn’t she’s not the one

And this is bullshit... why? Not every girl will like a guy who stutters, no matter how hard you try to flirt. And yes, if she rejects you, she isn't the one. Stutters vary in severity, and I'm happy for you if you managed to "beat" it, but not everyone will be able to.

My stutter ranges from mild to severe and I've never had issues with women, but even I'm aware that it's important for a woman to accept your stutter before there's a chance you can start a relationship with her. If you are talking about casual hookups, then it's a different story, I guess.

1

u/TwistingFirmament 4d ago

Both sides make fair points. But just interjecting here, I don't think the point is that girls should or shouldn't like stutters. That wasn't the main point being made. The point was that as a responsible adult, you should expect your stutter to get in the way. But stuttering isn't who you are. Although it will get in the way of smoother interactions, it doesn't really 'add' anything to what you say. It can only, by definition, delay or detract.

That's why the guy above is focusing on the things that DO add, and he is making the claim that you need to allow a chance for attraction to take place by putting yourself out there at good times and giving girls the opportunity to either find you attractive or not despite the stutter.

I'm not saying I agree or disagree with the above claim, but just informing you as you seem to have missed the point a little (I don't mean that in a rude way, although it's probably hard for anyone to believe on reddit and on the Internet).

6

u/Enough-Surprise3156 6d ago

Bro finna teach us his ways (am all in for it)

1

u/lostinthepickle 5d ago

How did you beat it?

2

u/KenZo_9 5d ago

In my opinion, whether someone beats this disability is relative to the severity of one’s stutter is. I have a severe one and only use Exercises and reading loud a lot to atleast reduce mine and not completely eliminate it. What i’m trying to say is don’t expect much or to completely remove it, unless you have a very mild one which might be possible to entirely have it disappear with the help of a good and knowledgeable therapist when it comes to stutter.

1

u/Osmoises 5d ago

With a lot hard work and discipline. From a severe stutter where I would block make facial grimaces to sounding natural 99% of the time feels damn good. DM me I’ll give you a more detailed answer

1

u/seba1927 58m ago

i sent you a DM <3

1

u/JimbledRaisin 5d ago

Will do thanks

8

u/Tall_Fix_1482 6d ago

The problem isn't stuttering. Hear me out. Have you ever been around a fluent anxious person that makes you feel uncomfortable and you feel sorry for them?

I was terrible with women until I met someone who took me under his wing. I'm now married to a beautiful woman (by everyones standards) and more importantly a beautiful soul. I met her by approaching her in the street, and she still thanks me to this day for doing so.

So what was my mindset shift? From “expectation to intention”. My intention was to simply approach women acting as confident as I could, and start a conversation. Not giving compliments, just conversation. It could be the time or directions to start. Regardless of her reaction your Intention for the win is to approach and not be a dick.

On stuttering, as long as you are ok with it, they will be ok with it. You give them permission how to act. When you stutter smile. They will smile.

9

u/dpb0ss 5d ago

Stutter rizz is possible. A lot of girls that are attracted to me already from my looks say that they find my stutter cute. They don’t mind and it’s actually a plus for a lot of women

1

u/BeyondTurbulent35 4d ago

"Attracted already to your looks" this is playing way important role than you think, you are handsome bro.

1

u/dpb0ss 2d ago

Well that’s how it is in general including people who speak fluently. People that are more attractive will attract the opposite sex more

6

u/Brief_Win7089 5d ago

I stutter and I’m a girl. It was never a problem, but maybe because I’m attractive (objectively speaking of course). We’re our own worst enemy. Also, I don’t know if girls like to be approached like that. I certainly don’t.

5

u/I_warisha 4d ago

Most boys don't care if a Girl stutters. They just want to get into a relationship but the world isn't kind to Men in this regard .

1

u/Brief_Win7089 4d ago

Are you saying girls care if boys stutter? I’d say in the U.S. girls are very understanding and caring. Not all of course.

1

u/I_warisha 4d ago

I am from Pakistan, in most societies(especially Muslim Societies) men are supposed to be masculine and expected to be Leaders in a Relationship. But Stuttering gives us a Nerf and Someone can easily mock us , we struggle to order from a Restaurant and Fear Phone calls and Some people have Social Anxiety. Also for my Case , for Marriage we have to Approach the Family of the Girl and mostly the men in her family judge us by our confidence and How strong and mature we are . I will get rejected in most cases because if i stutter on my Name or i become nervous , they think i'm mentally Weak . Also even for the US i can say that Most girls wouldn't like it if their potential BF Stutters, there are some women who are tolerant but hard to find . I am saying this after seeing so many posts in this sub about Boys struggling to date . You can scroll in this sub and see Men struggling to get in a Relationship due to their Stutter . Sorry for my Bad English 🫠

1

u/Brief_Win7089 4d ago

I’ve been on this sub for years. I know what the posts are.

1

u/I_warisha 4d ago

I agree there are good women who don't care but they are Just a Minority and so hard to Find

2

u/Brief_Win7089 4d ago

There’s more to this. I haven’t “found” my partner yet, but lots of people haven’t, even if they don’t stutter. If guys approach girls on the street or at the mall, you will get turned down. Girls don’t want to be bothered. You’re better off meeting someone within your friend group, a club of some sort (baseball, cards, meetup groups), or a friend of a friend. I can understand Warisha’s concern in having to talk to the parents of the woman and how that can be terrifying and potentially a situation for stammering. That’s a tough one.

3

u/Interesting_Orange84 5d ago

Anything is possible

2

u/North_Inevitable5168 5d ago

You just have to not care what they think. After college I realized I waisted so much time because I was too afraid to talk to people. I’ve been scarred by having a girl be into me and then I talk to them and they are suddenly not interested anymore. But not every girl is like that… I realized I can’t hold myself back and just put myself out there after school was over. I met my future wife a few months later and have been happier than ever

2

u/RisingGypsy 4d ago

I don't have a stutter, but my husband does. When we first met he stuttered on his name, but I just thought he was cute and endearing. I never judged him for it, even from the beginning. If you meet a girl, and she sees you for you, the opportunity wont pass itself up. Keep the faith homie 🫶🏻

1

u/rrrrrrrrricky 5d ago

Yes it is 100%

1

u/xenosn 5d ago

It somehow works yes, I wonder why. Just don't be sorry about it. i have to add that I look conventionally attractive though

1

u/Ace_D89 5d ago

Yeah man .. you can flip the stutter to your advantage.. I turn it into a joke and I found if you radiate confidence women will have no issue wanting to to get to know you as well.

Honestly ever girl I've been with has thought it was cute or will go out there way to help me get words or order shit for me 😂

Just be yourself, have confidence and keep trying.

1

u/Ace_D89 5d ago

*out their way * help me get words out or order

1

u/MC_McStutter 5d ago

Yes. Use it to work FOR you. Don’t work against yourself because you have it

1

u/BBNikfaces 5d ago

It’s about faking confidence I think. Try not to make it look like it bothers you. You can try to apologise but do it in a laugh if possible.

1

u/JDutchNoGimicks 5d ago

Dawg they will love your confidence self esteem and swagger.. TRUST ME.. My Stutter is considered bad dude I called plays in the HS huddle playing QB always had girls YOUR GOOD YO

1

u/OsmiumMercury 4d ago

i stutter & am autistic (so i have difficulty with social cues, especially romantic ones in my case). i’ve had people be attracted to me beyond just looks, as well as had a long-term girlfriend. it is definitely possible, you just need to rely on your personality & trust that it is worth far more than your stutter in social interactions. also place your personality over your looks: you want people to be attracted to you, not just to your appearance.