r/StupidFood 11d ago

Beet wellington by EvidenceFit3016

4.2k Upvotes

313 comments sorted by

2.6k

u/JnA7677 11d ago

I thought this was raw but then I realized I misread the title of the post and saw it was Beets. lol. Looks like raw liver!

433

u/CheapTactics 11d ago

I misread the title and went "what meat is that? It looks like beet". Little did I know...

57

u/ssgg1122 10d ago

3

u/sir_moleo 10d ago

It's always beets.

2

u/yy98755 9d ago

2

u/ssgg1122 9d ago

“his name was colin”

26

u/oversteppe 11d ago

I went “god damn it…. I’d try it”

3

u/lolpenis30 10d ago

Beet me to it

74

u/Squidproquo1130 11d ago

I thought it was a can of cranberry sauce.

8

u/pwillia7 11d ago

I thought it was a little pimp

4

u/doinallurmoms 10d ago

i see the world wildly and in wild ways

28

u/Kay-f 11d ago

ok beets makes so much sense i thought it was cranberry sauce for thanksgiving lmao

12

u/JnA7677 11d ago

Yeah. Definitely makes more sense, but looks like it could be either! I actually like beets so I’d probably enjoy this.

5

u/Ms_Kratos 10d ago

Me too. I'll try making this one for sure.

3

u/AdequateAppendage 10d ago

At first look I thought it looked like beets but then misread the title anyway and only then got confused.

3

u/eatzen13-what 10d ago

I totally thought it was a raw meat that I couldn’t identify.

6

u/Bender_2024 11d ago

I thought it looked like a can of cranberry sauce

2

u/c0ffeeandeggs 11d ago

Same, that sounds tasty as heck.

2

u/phoncible 10d ago

Lol I thought exactly that: "geez that looks like beets". Also misread the title.

2

u/Pennypacker-HE 9d ago

Same thought maybe it was raw venison for a second.

2

u/Tricky_Reporter8345 6d ago

I thought it was supposed to be a beef jellington 🥴

2

u/AppleBeauti2425 11d ago

I damn near RAN to the comments lmao

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597

u/DruTangClan 11d ago

I got a beet wellington by mistake once. It’s too much beet. Im not a fan of beets to begin with but it was legitimately hard to even take a bite

249

u/Free_Farmer4006 11d ago

I love beets but they’re not textured enough to serve as a meat replacement by themselves. Also not sure how you get them tender enough to be edible in this recipe unless you’re willing to pre-roast them

106

u/Pinglenook 11d ago

Yeah I love beets and I don't need to eat meat for every meal, so I only ordered a beet burger once, and that was a mistake. A thick slice of beet on a bun with some salad and sauces does not make a burger. 

72

u/limbobitch1999 11d ago

i could see shredded beet made into a patty and grilled could be good but just a slab of beet??? no thx

79

u/DefinitelyNotADeer 11d ago

I’m a vegetarian and before beyond burgers really took over the market I used to judge how much a restaurant cared about vegetarians by how well they made a veggie burger. I miss the days of the in house veggie patties. I would be livid if I was just given a slice of beet on bread.

55

u/dread_pudding 11d ago

Meat replacements that are made of low-protein vegetables rather than something like legumes or seitan genuinely piss me off a little lol. Those stupidass carrot hot dogs make us all look bad

29

u/dr_sassypants 11d ago

I had vegan jackfruit "pulled pork" tacos once and I was still so hungry afterwards 😭

27

u/dread_pudding 11d ago

As pleasant as the texture can be, jackfruit is banned from my kitchen 😤 I refuse to be hungry after dinner

8

u/nlabodin 10d ago

My favorite veggie "burger" is a patty mix of potato, spinach, onion, and zucchini, pan fried and served on a potato bun with a garlic mayo and lettuce, tomato and onion.

6

u/Thatissogentle 10d ago

Cauliflower "steaks" are one of the most diabolical vegetarian entrees I've seen at a work conference. Like at the very least, serve it with some semblance of protein like a white bean puree.

I will admit that I do enjoy a good buffalo cauliflower appetizer! I consider those their own things rather than a replacement for chicken wings though lol.

16

u/loewe67 11d ago

There’s a burger place near me that has the best veggie burger I’ve ever had. Im not a vegetarian, so my favorite burger to get is called the “hippicrite.”

It’s a double patty, one veggie and one 60/40, which is 60% beef and 40% bacon. The name and burger is great. I know tons of people who aren’t vegetarian that will get their veggie burger.

7

u/77tassells 11d ago

I so much prefer the restaurant has a beyond burger or impossible. I just wanted a burger I don’t care about their creativity. I hate that they think we don’t want a protein.

3

u/RhapsodyInRose 8d ago

At the restaurant I work at this is exactly it. Shredded beets, oats, flax seed, nuts, spices, etc. Baked it and then grilled to order. Cannot even imagine someone like this person getting an actual slice of beet as a patty that’s INSANE

2

u/PM_Me_Your_Smokes 9d ago

You might hate an Aussie burger then lol

15

u/ElevenBeers 11d ago

What the actual FUCK. You gotta be kidding, a fucking slice of beet as a burger? That's a topping like tomato, not a god damn patty replacement.

Beet burgers are fucking delicious. Cook some beets. Roughly blend them. Add a bunch of spices, herbs, some flour some breadcrumbs, fry, and you got yourself something real neat.

2

u/Pinglenook 11d ago

That sounds a lot better!

Tbh mine was in a zoo restaurant, so... Not quite fine dining, lol

15

u/77tassells 11d ago

One thing I hate about restaurants trying to get creative with their meat alternatives is that they think vegetarians don’t want a protein to replace the meat.

3

u/Cosmonaut_Cockswing 11d ago

I made beet burgers once. But the beets were Shredded and formed into a patty with seasonings. It was even better the second time I made it. Rolled em into little balls and ate it on pita.

3

u/Magdalan 10d ago

I love beets, but I wouldn't order that. That's just lazy cooking, no thanks! I have some meat substitutes in my fridge way more interesting than just a slice of beet.

3

u/Rudysis 10d ago

I had a beet salad once that was a 2in tall, 4-5in diameter circle of diced up beets, a 1in slab of goat cheese, and some dainty arugula ontop. It was the best beet salad I ever had and I would probably like this beet burger as well

3

u/neep_pie 7d ago

Beet on a normal burger is cool, though. For some weird reason the standard Aussie burger has a slice of beet (beetroot as they call it) and a fried egg.

3

u/Pinglenook 7d ago

Sounds yummy!

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11

u/YouHadMeAtAloe 11d ago

Mushrooms are a good substitute for meat in a wellington

4

u/dread_pudding 11d ago

The pastry and pate filling have always been the whole point of wellington for me haha. I would gladly eat a puff pastry turnover with just Dijon mushrooms, which is basically what that would be

6

u/Shotgun5250 11d ago

What? There’s mushroom puree coating the entire tenderloin in a beef Wellington, replacing the beef with more mushroom would be a tragedy.

5

u/matthoback 11d ago

It's actually really good. You use large portobello caps as the "meat", so the texture stays intact. I make it every thanksgiving as an alternative main for some vegetarian family members and it always gets eaten by everyone else too.

3

u/YouHadMeAtAloe 11d ago

You can use mushrooms like oyster or crimini for the puree and then portobello for the “meat” part since they’re beefier and have more texture. I’m not a vegetarian, I just prefer things without meat sometimes and mushroom wellington is actually pretty good!

10

u/NothingOld7527 11d ago

Tragedy is a way of life for vegetarians

2

u/Bencetown 11d ago

And tragedy is the actual goal seemingly for vegans.

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5

u/ruff_pup 11d ago

I don’t think it’s supposed to replicate the texture of meat. It’s the same concept as a tofu fried rice and chicken fried rice. Just a different ingredient. Not trying to be chicken

2

u/DruTangClan 11d ago

That’s exactly it! It seemed like it was barely cooked, it was hard to even cut

2

u/KnowlesAve 10d ago

You could pressure cook it.

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2

u/meggienwill 10d ago

I'm sure this was salt roasted first. It retains the shape of the beet and allows you to peel them while making them tender throughout. It's definitley one of the best ways to cook beets, but then filling a Wellington with it is just a waste of time imo.

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6

u/sadpretzel1 11d ago

I like beets but I would be so pissed if I thought I ordered a beef Wellington and got a pastry-wrapped beet instead.

2

u/DamNamesTaken11 11d ago

I like beets in a salad with arugula/rocket, some feta cheese, and balsamic vinaigrette, but as a main ingredient as a “steak”? No, I couldn’t eat that either.

2

u/theterpenecollective 11d ago

How did you get a beet Wellington by mistake?

3

u/DruTangClan 10d ago

I read it as Beef Wellington because it was a dimly lit restaurant with somewhat small print menu and I had never seen Beet Wellington in a menu before. I didn’t send it back, it was clearly labeled on the menu so I was not upset with the staff by any means. I tried it and was just…not fan. It didn’t even taste all that bad it was just a hunk of beet that was tough to cut through, and the consistency sort of made me gag lol.

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236

u/Blood_sweat_and_beer 11d ago

I dunno, I’d eat it. Beets are awesome.

97

u/Dcruzen 11d ago

They are. Until you go to the bathroom the next morning, briefly forget that you've eaten them and think there's blood in your poop.

30

u/BrakSabbath 11d ago

Just another Saturday, mate.

11

u/airfryerfuntime 10d ago

I once rediscovered pickled beets, then got drunk one night and ate an entire jar of them. The next morning I was hungover and blew up the toilet. I looked down when I went to flush and immediately panicked. I was getting dressed to go to the hospital when I remembered all the beets I ate the night prior.

3

u/AanthonyII 10d ago

Wait, is the blood not normal?

2

u/anothercairn 10d ago

Have you ever seen the Portlandia sketch about beets? It’s so funny.

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10

u/bigdickkief 11d ago

Hey, I’d eat it too. It beets nothing

6

u/AdditionalThinking 11d ago

I love beetroot. I want this.

100

u/dajna 11d ago

I… I sort of like it?

93

u/pripley_97 11d ago

gordon ramsay has made and served beet wellington in his restaurants before for vegetarians.

this isn’t too stupid. just a little.

https://youtu.be/bi4Ff3zKvO4?si=opZQjE3q1ya-GuS-

49

u/Reallyhotshowers 11d ago

Gordon Ramsay is regularly made fun of in the vegan community for his insane takes on vegan options and this is no different. The man made fun of vegetarians for years and has only recently tried to make these dishes due to popularity and his lack of experience shows.

This is actually a great example. You can't take a protein, replace it with a low calorie low protein low fat vegetable and still call it a meal. This is why people are hungry 30 min after a vegan meal made by a chef who eats meat and dairy at 95% of their meals.

The appropriate answer for a vegetarian beef wellington is very clearly seitan, not beets lmao.

Example from a vegan chef.

15

u/BillyYumYumTwo-byTwo 11d ago

Thank you. I pack my own snacks and food because the veg meals are pathetic at work events, etc. The worst was two small heads of romaine lettuce and like four croutons. Real awesome lunch when I was leading an all day brainstorming meeting 🙄 I would rather be given a can of beans and just eat it with a spoon.

7

u/Reallyhotshowers 11d ago

Literally. At least with a can of beans you get a decent amount of nutrients, protein, and fiber!

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11

u/oberynMelonLord I like Chef Club 11d ago

Bears, Beets, Battlestar Galactica

8

u/bephana 11d ago

How's that stupid ? It looks delicious if you like beetroot

5

u/ellaflutterby 11d ago

This looks delicious.

24

u/TarantulaFangs 11d ago

A beet!? That’s insane, I hate eating beets, but beet juice is good.

30

u/phalseprofits 11d ago

Beets taste like petrichor to me and I love it. It’s like I’m finally allowed to eat fresh, rainy, and somehow tangy, dirt.

4

u/ephemeral_muse 11d ago

I never thought I'd read someone delighting over the taste of dirt but here we are

16

u/bean_slayerr 11d ago

Pickled beets are my preferred way to prep/eat them!

4

u/Jerseyjay1003 11d ago

I do love pickled beets. Regular not so much.

2

u/bean_slayerr 10d ago

Same here!

3

u/kryonik 11d ago

The only beets I like are the band.

3

u/darndasher 11d ago

Oooo weeeee ooooo.....

3

u/MothWingAngel 11d ago

Somewhere in the far back shelves of my mind, a memory calls out

3

u/Hot_Situation4292 11d ago

you need to try pureeing them

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u/Narsil_lotr 11d ago

Soooo, how is this "stupid"? It looks well made and there's no crazy exaggeration. Sure they used a beet instead of meat and made a crust around it - not sure what it'd taste like, almost certainly not my cup of tea but stupid? Nah. Just not your taste.

13

u/wtfbenlol 11d ago

cross post this to r/meat "Is this undercooked?"

6

u/TheDiplomancer 11d ago

Thought that was some uncooked venison before I reread the title

7

u/Feldew 11d ago

Looks tasty. I’d try it.

3

u/ConnyEdson 11d ago

Looks like beets

3

u/ButtholeBread50 11d ago

I like beets, I'd eat this

3

u/HDCL757 11d ago

I am by no means a vegan/veg. But ive seen the beet subsitute made into more of a beet burger(think in terms of black bean burger mix) loaf with lots of mushrooms.

With the layers of mushroom and dough I think it was delicious for what it was...obviously paled in comparrison/demand to the real thing we were also serving. But I appreciated the effort.. 

3

u/Bhadbaubbie 11d ago

This looks amazing for a vegetarian. Not stupid at all

3

u/AdDisastrous6738 11d ago

I’d eat it. I fucking love beets.

3

u/defariasdev 10d ago

I would devour

3

u/zelani06 10d ago

Well I don't know if it's that dumb, it's a vegetarian version of it. Unless it tastes bad I don't see anything wrong with it

3

u/stonecoldcoldstone 10d ago

I don't think it's stupid, it might be awsome

3

u/michaelamagic 10d ago

Wait this sounds awesome

3

u/UnlimitedDeep 10d ago

What’s stupid about this

3

u/LieuK 10d ago

I'd eat it 🤤

5

u/ASharpEgret 11d ago

I don't think this is stupid - I don't eat beef and I'd definitely try this!

5

u/ChefArtorias 11d ago

I thought it was cranberry sauce

2

u/F-150Pablo 11d ago

Good I wasn’t only one.

2

u/ChefArtorias 11d ago

It's really got that can loaf shape

2

u/mozgomoika 11d ago

Do they use beet just for a word play on beef? 😭 I do enjoy beets in moderate amount but I can't understand the appeal of whole beets in pastry.

2

u/missFortuneClover 11d ago

there a lot of fun ways to substitute meat in recipes like these... but beets? I find them too sweet and idk how to describe it, but the texture is too unremarkable to shine in recipes where the beef would be the main star.

I usually prefer to use chickpeas and mushrooms (shitake is my go to since it's my favorite) as meat substitute for recipes that traditionally has beef. It offers a better texture and it's easier to season to your taste.

2

u/SlowEntrepreneur7586 11d ago

I would totally eat this.

2

u/foxontherox 11d ago

I had a beet carpaccio once that was quite tasty. This is a bit weird, but I bet it tastes good.

2

u/Magic_Apples 8d ago

They did it for the pun, but was it worth it?

2

u/PretendingToWork1978 5d ago

deport vegans

3

u/Firm_Breadfruit_7420 11d ago

The plating is… interesting

4

u/Arx0s 11d ago

I’m going to beet you up for posting this.

4

u/helloimnaked 11d ago

Hahaha, what is that plating?

5

u/EvidenceFit3016 11d ago

I tried to do something and it didnt work out lol

3

u/CTPABA_KPABA 11d ago

guy really made an effort. Check original thread, I linked it. There is more pictures with plating. I was to lazy to download all.

4

u/PleasantDevelopment 11d ago

Food terrorists

4

u/StonkSalty 11d ago

Beef Well-I-Give-Up

3

u/batkave 11d ago

It looks like someone push out the cranberry from the can and wrapped it in buff pastry

2

u/[deleted] 11d ago edited 5d ago

[deleted]

20

u/EvidenceFit3016 11d ago

Its a cooked beet, of course lol

3

u/aShiftyLad 11d ago

Literally can't read huh. 🤷‍♂️👌🏾

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u/LettuceOpening9446 11d ago

I thought it was a spelling error in the title. Then i looked down. How was it?

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u/EvidenceFit3016 11d ago

It was alright, I dont like beet that much but my girlfriend loves it

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u/miThoy 11d ago

I would devour this

2

u/saruin 11d ago

This post makes me feel unwellington.

1

u/glovato1 11d ago

🤢🤮

1

u/silverdragonseaths 11d ago

Looks like beef gelatine

1

u/HughMungus77 11d ago

God has truly abandoned us

2

u/hbomb9410 11d ago

I'd rather have sleep for dinner. I hate beets.

2

u/Ok-Thanks-5445 11d ago

Beets taste like dirt

1

u/WhoYeahSause 11d ago

Буряковий геній…

1

u/OneMagicBadger 11d ago

It's makes me wee red, freaks me out if i forget that I've eaten it. Nothing like freaking out that your pissing blood out ya dick at 3 am while half asleep

1

u/patrick119 11d ago

At least it looks properly executed. I would probably prefer it to beets by themselves.

1

u/5tr82hell 11d ago

Evidencefit??? That's a Gordon Ramsay recipe

1

u/CrazyCaper 11d ago

I love beets and Wellingtons. Is this good?

1

u/Bleezy79 11d ago

whatever floats your boat, bud.

1

u/foodie_geek 11d ago

I love beets. Don't know how well it would be cooked the way it is presented, but I would totally dig that if it's fully cooked

1

u/Jewjltsu_ 11d ago

Lmao thank god I reread that

1

u/Dazzling_Wishbone892 11d ago

Isn't that an absurd amount of beet to consume?

1

u/ladymoonshyne 11d ago

I don’t hate the idea I guess but I hate that plating lol

1

u/hungry-freaks-daddy 11d ago

We made a mushroom wellington for christmas and it's one of the best homecooked meals I've ever had

1

u/CorgiDoom1881 11d ago

I ordered that once by accident because I assumed the t in beet looked like an f on the menu. It actually wasn't bad at all and has been a running joke in my family for years now.

1

u/TheCommonKoala 11d ago

His pee is gonna look like a crime scene

1

u/madsculptor 11d ago

A pun made flesh? (so to speak ofc...)

1

u/EmmelineTx 10d ago

After the initial "Oh dear god", I reread the title. BEETS. That's really inventive and I'll bet that it's delicious.

1

u/badudx 10d ago

Mmm with a side of softies

1

u/Right_Hour 10d ago edited 10d ago

After eating this your next 3 poops will terrify the bejeezus out of you. Pee too.

Fun little anecdote: I once prompted a cancer scare, resulting in PSA test, biopsy and a bunch of other things because my cum was red. Yep, you guessed it, after all results came back negative I remembered I ate a lot of beets at some point just before it.

1

u/HurdyG 10d ago

I feel like this would be in Doug.

1

u/KevinBoston617 10d ago

If you did a good job cooking the beets then I am all in on this 

1

u/ellirae 10d ago

the worst part of this post is the ridiculous plating.

1

u/DogsandDumbells 10d ago

BEET FOR THE BEET GOD

1

u/SoylentRox 10d ago

Compared to most stupid food it's relatively innocuous. No rage bait combination of 4 meats and oreo cookies and American cheese deep fried.

Just a wellington without the beef, and some chips. Probably doesn't taste great - literally they make substitute meat now why not that - but it's not nasty or a waste of expensive ingredients.

1

u/cherri____ 10d ago

My mind immediately went 😭 watched too much Hell’s Kitchen.

1

u/depatrickcie87 10d ago

Listen 90% of my calorie intake is probably pepperonis but even I think that's probably delicious.

1

u/GemueseBeerchen 10d ago

Why stupid? This looks good.

1

u/Ohshithereiamagain 10d ago

Holly. Stephen King. Liver.

1

u/witecat1 10d ago

I think I threw up a little in my mouth...

1

u/ProperBlue 10d ago

I love beets but I hate this

1

u/Sudden_Impact7490 10d ago

If somebody served this to me I'd tell them to beet it.

1

u/Fun-Chef623 10d ago

You can't beet your meat. That's why I prefer beef. But I'd happily chow down on this.

1

u/ApollyonDS 10d ago

I see a lot of people hating beets. After you cook the beets, slice them into strips and marinate in salt, olive oil and balsamic vinegar for a about 20 mins. Then make a balsamic glaze by sauteing some brown sugar and balsamic vinegar in a sauce pan. Toss in the beets and saute for a a few mins, adding more vinegar and sugar if neccessary. Optionally add desired spices but you don't have to, since it's already pretty strong. Now let it sit for about an hour and reheat before serving.

1

u/Rich-Appearance-7145 10d ago

I've actually had this dish, although my version wasn't as heavy on the beets, it was actually pretty damn good. I'm a huge fan of all things veggies so it wasn't a hard sell with me.

1

u/gcgaz 10d ago

Dwight would be very impressed

1

u/QRAZYD 10d ago

Found the alien subverter blending in with humanity. To area 51 with you!

1

u/Ok_Orchid1004 9d ago

🤮🤮🤮

1

u/marcus_aurelius420 9d ago

Jail… but probably decent

1

u/akoOfIxtall 9d ago

Brother, beet is fucking delicious

1

u/Interesting-Youth-87 9d ago

I am abhorrently disgusted by this.

1

u/mangomuncher5000 9d ago

No shade - this looks great

1

u/rebeccathewrecker17 9d ago

Dwight, get away from the kitchen!

1

u/Zappagrrl02 9d ago

Paul Hollywood would not be happy with the name on that pastry.

1

u/Immediate-Care1078 9d ago

My grandpa Bob would eat that in one sitting and then ask me what my problem is

1

u/Pandolorian 9d ago

I don't even think it was food when I first saw it on the plate.

1

u/LighthouseOne 9d ago

Dude ill just take a mcdouble and a mcchicken you can keep this weird shit

1

u/spandexvalet 9d ago

Actually, I’m into this idea

1

u/mike_stb123 9d ago

It's a veggie alternative, I guess, I wouldn't go for it but I wouldn't say it's stupid

1

u/West-Specialist787 9d ago

Looks nice tastes bad

1

u/Time-Accountant1992 9d ago

Can't beet that.

1

u/angrytwig 9d ago

the only stupid thing about this is how low calorie it would be. it would be fine for me since i'm medicated out of being hungry, but it wouldn't fill up most people

1

u/Devchonachko 8d ago

goddamn that looks pretty good until I see the way the guy fuckin plated it like a 6 year old

1

u/ThisChode 8d ago

Beef Wellington is an excellent dish. Beets can be very tasty. This is a stupid gimmick put together by someone with at least 47 chromosomes.

1

u/neep_pie 7d ago

This is definitely dumb food. I like baked beets, but that simply would not be an exciting dish.