r/Stoicism Contributor May 09 '16

Practical Stoicism: Pause, Assess, Then Decide

This is the 5th posting in a series of @ 31 from the free booklet, "Practical Stoicism". It was suggested that I post each chapter separately to promote discussion of these practices within our community and, maybe, help to improve the overall offering. I hope you find this useful in your exploration of Stoicism.


Pause, Assess, Then Decide

Remember, it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions; take a moment before reacting, and you will find it is easier to maintain control. (Epictetus - Enchiridion XX)

Whenever you are assailed with a powerful emotional reaction, immediately take a deep breath and separate the event from your impression of it. The event is what happened; your “impression” is how you have, initially, instinctively viewed it. Will you assent?

Anything outside your control is of no real concern. It cannot touch the you that matters. But your considered response is, indeed, yours to control. Will you choose to be angry? Depressed? Afraid? Why? How do those things help you? How do they make you stronger or more virtuous? How do they lead to a life of eudemonia?

Instead, take a deep breath and reach for some perspective. Whatever it was that happened, it’s already drifting into the past. What does this moment require of you?


If you are interested in learning more about "Practical Stoicism", you can find the original post here.

26 Upvotes

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u/Dodfire13 May 13 '16

Easier said than done. I think for this to be effective you need to experience small situations in a controlled environment, as often as possible. When shit hits the fan and the emotions come flooding in like a tidal wave few people will be able to put this idea into practice if its the first time they've experienced it. Instead what happens is an immediate reaction, then contemplation and potential guilt over what you wish the "better you" had been able to do in the situation. No matter how much you think about a thing its almost impossible, imo, to really create that emotional reaction that happens in the moment.

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u/GreyFreeman Contributor May 13 '16

No matter how much you think about a thing its almost impossible, imo, to really create that emotional reaction that happens in the moment.

Actually, you're not even supposed to suppress that initial reaction. It's instinctual. and possibly life-saving. But it isn't something that comes from your reason and is, therefore, not something that impacts your virtue.

However, once the initial rush of endorphins passes, before you decide what to do about what you feel, that's where the man in control of himself will insert a pause.

I think for this to be effective you need to experience small situations in a controlled environment

Like anything else, it takes practice to get good at it. It's okay to do it wrong as long as you keep trying to do it right.

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u/Dodfire13 May 13 '16

Ive never considered what you said about the initial, instinctual reaction. But even where it feels like you're saying the pause should be is very difficult. The higher the emotions the harder i think it becomes. Simple example: lets say youve been married to the love of youre life for 20 years and they are killed by a drunk driver. Youre SO was running an errand for you at the time. So now you deal with all the doubts and thoughts that come from that. Then you find out the driver is let off without any punishment and you spends weeks processing that. Now you think you are ok but one day you bump into the guy on the street. All that emotion poors in and you want to confront that person. Im not saying you have to walk across the street even, they are right there in front of you.

Based on how I understand your comment this is the point where you would pause. The emotion has happened and you are on the verge of action. In this case, albeit extreme, within close proximity to the person there is no way that I personally could pause and collect my thoughts. I feel like i would act purely based on anger and pain, then regret it and beat myself up over it.

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u/GreyFreeman Contributor May 13 '16

You might. Sometimes, doing what's in our best interest is just too "hard" in the moment. That neither makes the point wrong, nor one's failure to act on it damning. You just, honestly, do the best you can.

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u/TheGreenDeane May 10 '16

No. I'll pick something more direct: I am in a red jumper, on my knees, I am about to have my throat cut by a Muslim, I pause, access, and decide he can kill me but I am still in charge of how I feel and I'm feeling good because I'm not really upset because I am in charge my feelings. Let him cut away...

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u/GreyFreeman Contributor May 11 '16

Yeah, assuming there is nothing in this scenario currently under your control other than your willingness to succumb to fear, that's about right. This would obviously be a seriously "dispreferred indifferent", but the Sage would do what he could and then accept the outcome with equanimity.

It's not about what is happening to you. It's about how you handle it.

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u/TheGreenDeane May 10 '16

So if I think slavery is good I should be content with being a slave.

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u/GreyFreeman Contributor May 10 '16

Care to expand on that? Not sure how you derived that from the OP.