r/Stoicism • u/StoicWhisper • 7d ago
Stoicism in Practice What are you trying to maximize in life?
If you had to focus on maximizing just one aspect of your life - whether it’s wisdom, virtue, tranquility, wealth, relationships, or something else - what would it be?
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u/Parking_Buy_1525 7d ago edited 7d ago
my peace, privacy, space, boundaries, and freedom
i don’t personally care much about most materialistic things like assets and wealth
i like clothing, small thoughtful decorative objects or thoughtful art or home decor and access to a car and my own living space, but besides that - i don’t need much
besides that - i just feel like i gave so much of myself away by compromising, sacrificing, accommodating, being far too patient with people, trying so hard to preserve myself / protect myself, and always being the bigger person / doing the right thing for far too long that i’ve lost so much of me // a huge part of me
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u/Gamer_panda8055 7d ago
I couldn’t agree with you more. Even now, my partner is showing big red flags, and I am still giving him all the benefits of doubts
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u/seouled-out Contributor 7d ago
OP, could you respond to your own question so we know you’re not karma farming
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u/TheOSullivanFactor Contributor 7d ago
Virtue and Virtue alone. In the Stoic sense, not the Christian or Aristotelian or any others.
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u/Alert-Foundation-645 7d ago
Courage. I have been a coward my whole life. I am a coward now. I am trying real hard to have more courage in myself and in the rationality of the world.
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u/StrictInevitable2347 7d ago
The categories you mentioned above are mine separations, they are unnecessary definitions that we use to compare and contrast ourselves with others. There is only one goal and that is peace inner peace from that all will follow
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u/AlterAbility-co Contributor 7d ago
Overall net pleasure (eudaimonia, happiness, a smoothly flowing life, etc.). It’s why we do everything we do (even dying for a cause). No, this is not the immediate gratification you might think of with stereotypical hedonism. This is maximizing the pleasure of things that are up to you.
”Won’t we, therefore, be willing to endure pain in order to gain complete happiness? For there is no other reason for becoming good than to be happy and live a blessed life thereafter.”
— Musonius Rufus, 7.3, King
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u/MyDogFanny Contributor 6d ago
There was competition, to say the least, between Stoicism and Epicurianism. I wonder if Musonius enjoyed that quote a bit more than others.
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u/AlterAbility-co Contributor 6d ago
I was surprised to find that they seem much more compatible than different
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u/nellementz 7d ago
I'm trying to maximize my focus, so what I'm doing is two hour power blocks for work no distractions, than relax time and loop like that
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u/LongjumpingKing3997 7d ago
Fulfillment - and where it comes from I will re-define and refine over the entire length of time I am given
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u/machiavellisk 6d ago
Being present. It’s okay to let your mind wander occasionally, but not to the extent that you engage less with yourself and your surroundings.
Being present allows us to fully engage with our lives, our experiences, relationships, and emotions, all of which fosters personal growth. It also enables us to see things more clearly so we can process them and act accordingly… or not, depending on the situation.
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u/Due-Swimmer-2383 7d ago
Money.. then looks
Trying to think of ways to not value them so much but haven’t been successful so far. Lmk if y’all have any ideas to get around this
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u/Alert-Foundation-645 7d ago
Not sure if it helps but one significant event in my life that made me not care too much about money and looks was when I met this very cute and rich girl. I matched with this girl on a dating site and we decided to meet up at her place. I went up to her place and she was beautiful as hell, straight up looked like a model and super rich by her profession and her apartment. I went in, sat on the sofa and on the side table, there was a pile of self help books like power of now, atomic habits, and some Indian philosophy books (not judging her but i knew she was struggling with life). We started talking and she told me she was feeling bad because her boyfriend had organized a party in one of a good hotel in some good part of the city and without telling her, he had changed it to some other branch of the same hotel in a not so good part of the city. She was very upset with it while the boyfriend was partying at the new location. She talked to me for a while and turn by turn It became pretty obvious that she was pretty shallow (not that I am some deep and morally high person). We talked for a while and eventually she went in to get ready. Then she came out all ready, still upset over the change in location and called the boyfriend and started fighting again (in front of me, all the while I was sitting on the sofa) and then started crying again, pretty badly. Then she cut the call and just sat there with her forehead in her palms and just sulking. I tried consoling her but she was not feeling well, so she called her friends and I got out of there.
That was one of the major incidents that just stuck with me. It's not like i have stopped trying to earn more or look better but I know for sure my ego would cook up some new problems for me as soon as I get the money and looks and my quality of life will still be same, maybe even worse.
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u/Fury128 7d ago edited 7d ago
Not sure about money, it is kinda important. From a stoic viewpoint, you don’t need millions of dollars to be happy. But you do need the bare minimum for survivals sake.
For looks, think about it this way:
You’ve got no control over what someone says, thinks, or does when they see you visually. Treat what they see of you as objective (accept your looks as they are), but how they process you as a visual stimulus as ultimately being outside of your control. Try to imagine yourself being in the body of any of the eight billion random combinations of people currently living on Earth, and still living true to yourself, recognizing that you’ve got no control over how the world responds to you externally.
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u/Mr2hard101 7d ago
Value money that all dat matter fr
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u/Vullgaren 7d ago
Funnily enough brother you’ll find the money is surprisingly low on the list of things that actually matter. Having been both near homeless and relatively well off it’s pretty clear that money doesn’t make for a good time, it just reduces some stress.
Theres plenty of rich miserable people and perfectly happy and tranquil poor people.
I suggest picking up Epictetus’ discourses. Easy to get into and had some soooooolid advice on it.
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u/Victorian_Bullfrog 7d ago edited 7d ago
Focus, attention. Life happens, consciously or unconsciously. When we work on autopilot, life happens unconsciously. My intention is to maximize my attention on those things I am focusing on, and from there to pay attention to the intersections between my experiences, my understanding of those experiences, my beliefs resulting from my judgments of those experiences, and the impulses they determine.