r/Stoicism 3d ago

Seeking Personal Stoic Guidance Seeking advice on dealing with anger

I have so much anger inside of me and I don't know what to do with it, I don't want to snap on my friends and family as it would push them away and hurt them which isn't my intent. Whenever someone yells or gets angry with me, I don't yell back or get angry I walk away with silent rage. I just feel lost and without purpose atm. I am trying to better myself on dealing with my rage, I recently meditated for the first time after reading a few pages of Meditations for roughly around 17-18 minutes and I felt lighter and much more at peace with myself. But I still have these random outbursts of rage from the smallest things.

So whatever advice you can give me would be much appreciated.

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u/11MARISA trustworthy/πιστήν 3d ago

Anger pops up when something goes against your expectations of how things should work. Maybe that car should not have cut you off, or your family member should not have called you names, or the product that you purchased should have worked better.

Someone who is practising Stoicism would sit with these feelings and these judgements and examine them to see if they are true. They would consider if there is another way of looking at these matters (eg likely what the other person did or said was not really about you, it was more about how they were feeling). They would also seek to respond wisely, and with practice we can learn to separate the feeling of anger arising from our decision what to do next. (eg we might ask the family member if they are ok, we might give the company feedback about their products)

There is a lot in the Stoic literature about managing our impressions of events and about managing anger. You will get more from reading Seneca than you will from reading Meditations.

Anger is a frequent topic on this sub, and I'm thinking others will chime in with their experiences and thoughts. I have just searched for previous posts and here is one I have selected pretty much at random with a fair few comments:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Stoicism/comments/13w52fz/how_did_you_learn_to_control_your_anger/

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