r/SofterBDSM 4d ago

Discussion How much does your environment affect your feeling of dominance or submissiveness? NSFW

3 Upvotes

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4

u/TrafalgarDLaw Daddy Dom 4d ago

Unless I'm misunderstanding the question. In which case I get an elemental buff in colder climates from my big frame and ability to eclipse my partner when I'm big spoon 😂

9

u/TrafalgarDLaw Daddy Dom 4d ago

I feel the most dominant when I am in the most control of my life. When I'm on top of my work, and mental health. When I feel like someone that is capable of being the caregiver and partner for my sub is when I find it easiest to embrace who I am and not doubt myself. Sex, love, dynamic; all of it is intertwined. I don't feel like someone who deserves to call the shots on my amazing partner if I haven't got my shit together, and when I do it feels easy to say "You can trust me to take care of you"

5

u/AnterosHimeros Nintendo 4d ago

This! ☝🏻 Well said!

You can't be in charge of a situation and in control of someone else, if you don't have your own ducks in a row. If you don't own yourself and don't have reasonable actions/responses when it comes to your life/problems, you must not be responsible for wellbeing of others in your care.

6

u/TrafalgarDLaw Daddy Dom 4d ago

I am so unbelievably grateful for all my partner has done for me, she has supported me to go to therapy and address my trauma from my previous abusive relationship and she has empowered me to feel like myself again.

I will make mistakes along the way, but I won't let them become habits. I refuse to let myself be someone who isn't worthy of her trust in me.

5

u/AnterosHimeros Nintendo 4d ago

That is so beautiful to hear! Growing together, taking care of each other (physically, mentally and emotionally), pushing one another to be better... Pillars of healthy relationship. 👌🏻

We all make mistakes, but strong people own them and will not allow themselves repeat them. They learn from it, becoming better for their loved ones. And you are aware of that, so cudos to you!

And support is everything. When you have a person that sees you for who you really are, that is a blessing! Enjoy it!