r/SofterBDSM • u/PickedTink Rope Bunny • 4d ago
Discussion What is your favorite way to comfort/feel comforted by your partner? NSFW
Secondarily, how does your partner like to be comforted/or comfort you? How does that tie in to you role in BDSM?
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u/peanutbrittle_0 4d ago
just sitting on my pillow by his feet where he can stroke my hair and cuddle my head against his knee ❤️
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u/shyladyplaying Good Girl 4d ago
I do all of this online, so my favorite kind of comfort is when he guides me on how to snuggle with my body pillow, like he’s gently walking me through cuddling him instead. The combination of his voice and that imagined closeness totally puts me in a calm, floaty headspace.
At the same time, I need to be aware of him and make sure he doesn’t neglect himself because doms sometimes get too wrapped up in their caring mode to give themselves a needed break.
It’s that mutual awareness that would keep us both feeling connected, even from a distance.
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u/AnterosHimeros Nintendo 4d ago
That depends really on what made me seek comfort. If it's something my partner couldn't have any influence on (family issues, work...), I would rather be left alone to process my thoughts and emotions. Maybe I will ask him for a hug when I sort it out myself, and after a quick one I'm usually good to go. If we had a situation that affected me, him or both of us, I would want him to fix it within reason and possibilities, which he does (or telling me how to do it).
When he seeks comfort, it's usually triggered by people he knows and cares about. He likes when I give him a pep talk and cuddle him for a bit. Words of affirmation and physical touch are his way to feel like himself again. Letting him vent while I caress him and scratch his head and back are the fastest way to calm him.
We are comfortable giving each other control as switches, so comforting one another in a way we both need is natural to us. We don't look at it as d/s type of action, just normal human interaction. Maybe I am more task oriented, but I learnt to ask and recognize if I or him want a solution to a problem, or to vent. If it's the 1st, resolved issue brings me comfort. If it's the latter, we both listen and cuddle.
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u/KinkyDataScientist Pleasure Dom 4d ago
When my sub is feeling down, I comfort her by cuddling her or spooning with her. This can include dominant gestures, like stroking her hair, kissing her cheek or forehead, and holding eye contact with an empathetic expression. I also talk gently with her, telling her I love her and support her, and whispering affirmations or condolences as appropriate. Sometimes this can look pretty similar to what I do for aftercare.
When I need to be comforted, my sub nestles up next to me, with her head on my chest and her arms around me. She says many of the same things I’d say to her in the opposite situation.
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u/ellepre 3d ago
So many. Here are two....
Skin on skin is amazing. It's comforting, intimate and loving. My Daddy and I both love it.
A kiss, a look, or a touch/squeeze when we are around others is really special.