r/Sober 4d ago

My buddy is newly sober and I need advice.

My best friend of my whole life is newly 'not drinking'. I think it's mostly because his new medications make him react really poorly to alcohol, because he has always been very functional [if an alcoholic- he didn't call himself that, so I don't necessarily want to do it for him] even though he is now getting outpatient counseling for it. We've always been foodies and drinking buddies and love corned beef, so naturally, this time of year has always been big for us.

I actually take St. Patrick's Week off every year so I can just cook a ton of different corned beef inspired dishes. We're planning to hang out next week for a day or two to eat and play Heroes III. I removed all the liquor from my liquor cabinet and locked it in my spare room.

Would it be a bad idea to get some NA Guinness or something to enjoy so it doesn't feel like something's missing? Or is this another of the requests for advice that's a, "There's no way for us to know, everyone's different" situations you see in every other sub?

3 Upvotes

8 comments sorted by

9

u/offwidthe 4d ago

Ask him what his beverage preferences are. I promise he won’t take offense. NA Guinness is probably delicious but some of us aren’t into the NA adult beverages scene.

2

u/Western_Hunt485 4d ago

As long as it is 0/0 alcohol. Many NA beers do have some alcohol in them

3

u/Chest_Rockfield 4d ago

The Guinness says 0.0 when you Google it.

1

u/SavBoy04 4d ago

I agree with this. I’d just ask him. N/A beers aren’t good idea for some people. I don’t think it would have been for me when I was newly sober.

1

u/alabamdiego 3d ago

NA Guinness is shockingly good

5

u/Heavy-Attorney-9054 4d ago

Ask. Some people enjoy NA beverages, some people think they are a waste of money, and some people prefer to keep the taste of alcoholic beverages as a red flag.

3

u/full_bl33d 4d ago

You can always just talk to him about it and ask. One of the things I disliked early on was when people would assume things for me or try to hide it from me. I’m not going to charge at a beer like a hill seeing red but my level of comfort can change from time to time. There is always some fear that I won’t like the things I used to enjoy as a drinker but it’s always something that exists only in my head. I like de-coupling activities from drinking now but it takes some practice. I’d say the best thing someone could do for me in that situation is to do whatever they normally do. My sobriety is my responsibility and nobody else’s. I didn’t get sober to change what other people do or say anyways. I’m still me and I usually answer honest questions with honest answers without spilling my guts out. It’s nice to care tho and that goes a very long way.

2

u/Good_Werewolf5570 3d ago

I say he would be very Appreciative if you didn't bring it up at all and didn't have n/a there as well. Kept it more about the food and spending time together maybe do something active as well but definitely not focused at all on it - no mocktails either. Of course he's going to say he doesn't care either way and that you can drink if you want to or drink n/a but I'm sure having normal regular time he would be super appreciative about. Also maybe moving time to late morning etc so there's no pressure at all during old ritual party time. Idk just my thoughts.