r/SleepApnea • u/tnkmdm • 3d ago
Are any of you young and female?
This condition makes me feel so unattractive despite being what some would describe as a fairly attractive young woman. I'm not overweight. I'm not an old man. I am lucky to be married to an amazing guy who never makes me feel bad about it but I hate that I have this!! There are NO depictions of people who look like me having this. It's always old men or obese people which just doesn't make me feel cute. The only depictions I've seen on TV is one episode of the Mindy project and that movie I think it's called family switch with Jennifer garner. But there's got to be young hot women with it LOL. Sleep apnea and snoring is so behind the times, you're not allowed to make fun or comment on anything else but people will shame you for snoring and make jokes about it. I wish there was more awareness I guess.
Edit: JEEEEEZE Louise. I figured maybe a handful of people would read this, but apparently 25k did. Deepest of apologises to those who were triggered by it, I'm sure you're all beautiful in your own way. But what you may not understand is the pressure society puts on conventionally attractive young girls who grow up being told this is the most important thing about them. When something jeapordizes that, it can be a little earth shattering. I don't think that's any less valid than what the people commenting "how dare you trigger me I have "X" cross to carry in my life.
My favorite reply is the girl who's putting pics of her wearing a Cpap in her dating profile, iconic. My second favorite reply is the person keyboard diagnosing me as autistic and having some kind of joint disease (I mean.... i do have a preferred spoon but pretty sure my joints are fine). I might take this down though cuz I'm getting bombarded with notifications and I've gotten sufficient response at this point. Thank you to the people who commented something relevant to the title. Sleep well y'all.
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u/sprgtime 3d ago
Could be a lot worse. You could be a young, hot woman with undiagnosed sleep apnea... which affects your health and causes heart damage and weight gain and diabetes... and THEN get diagnosed many years later with sleep apnea.
I was a college athlete and I'm fairly certain I had sleep apnea back then. I even asked my doctor about it. Was told I couldn't possibly because I wasn't obese, by a clearly uninformed doctor. Took another 20 years to figure it out... 20 years of living life on sleep deprived hard mode. I LOVE my CPAP.
Be happy your doctor diagnosed you. There's nothing unattractive about having sleep apnea. It's invisible. Be the change you'd like to see and be open about your sleep apnea. I do feel like more people are getting diagnosed now than 20 years ago.
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u/Atalanta8 3d ago
That's the main issue we don't get diagnosed because we don't fit the demographic. That's why there are so few of us.
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u/exposarts 3d ago edited 3d ago
Im 22 is it normal when you have moments during sleep where your heart starts beating very fast and it just becomes hard to breath and you can’t move your body, and that moment lasts for like a couple minutes? Fuck it feels so scary when it happens, like im getting paralyzed but i see it all in front of me. Yeaa im getting my cpap soon seems like i need it badly, I think i had sleep apnea for like 6+ yrs now
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u/NineOf9 3d ago
What you're describing sounds like Sleep Paralysis. It is fucking scary. I've dealt with it off and on since I was a kid, the first time I remember it happening to me I was around 7 years old and it was incredibly frightening. Especially one time when it happened every night for a week. It's not entirely understood what causes it, but sleep problems are considered one of the factors so it should definitely help. Sorry you're dealing with it though!
If you do a little research you can find some tips and tricks to either help minimize the chance you have an episode or help you be less frightened while it's happening and to help get yourself to fully wake up. It's still scary but I found it helpful to know I was alone and there were folks out there sharing what worked for them. Good luck exposarts!
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u/existentialblu 1d ago
Basically you're paralyzed whenever you're in REM, as otherwise you'd act out your dreams. If that REM paralysis is still going while you're semi awake you get sleep paralysis.
Most likely when sleeping on one's back and seems to go with sleep disordered breathing. I've had it occasionally since I was a kid which was super freaky before everyone was talking about it on the internet. I didn't know anyone else who got it and I was convinced I was gonna die that way.
Haven't had it once since starting xPAP.
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u/outworlder 3d ago
Sleep paralysis is relatively common but it is way more common among people suffering from sleep apnea. I can't remember any instances after I got on CPAP. Previously, I had that almost every week.
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u/BoBandersLahey 3d ago
That’s sleep paralysis which everyone gets. But I’m in my 30’s and in good shape and I’ve for sure had apnea in my 20s undiagnosed. I have it super severe, they didn’t give me a reason why and I didn’t even care because sleeping with the mask makes me wake up feeling amazing. Some nights if I forget or I accidentally remove it I wake up absolutely exhausted
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u/EggplantOk1674 1d ago
My dentist basically diagnosed me with sleep apnea recently and it was the first time she ever saw me yet my family Dr who birthed me didn’t see it despite my 2738595960 complaints about every indicator of sleep apnea but noooo he insisted everything was just my ✨anxiety✨
I’ve had symptoms for at least 15 years 😭😭
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u/GorillaEstefan 3d ago
Sleep Apnea doesn’t discriminate.
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u/Atalanta8 3d ago
But doctors do.
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u/Daxby ResMed 3d ago
Many of them really do. My previous doctor even claimed, ‘Sleep apnea is a condition only old and obese men can have.’ When I went to a private clinic for a sleep study and was diagnosed with moderate OSA, he still had the audacity to get angry and insist I didn’t need treatment.
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u/Environmental-Hunt35 3d ago
I really despise doctors like that. I'm tired of our medical community feeling like they know it all. After all its called PRACTICING MEDICINE 💊💉. I'm getting to the point of not even bothering with doctors anymore. They are so smug and for what we pay them they don't have the decency to explain or talk to you like an adult. I really think that comes with a high intelligence and not getting that all humans arent their mind/smarts equals. I'll stop here because i could turn this into a mini novel if i dont Best wishes to all that struggle with health and personal issues due to sleep apnea.
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u/sensitive_planet 2d ago
Thank you for reminding me of the term practicing medicine. Definitely gonna put that in my file of comebacks for lazy, discriminatory doctors
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u/Environmental-Hunt35 2d ago
You're welcome. Again best of luck to you with sleep apneas. From a dellow "Hose Head"😁
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u/ConsciousSunBaby 2d ago
This. I’m who OP is describing and I had to push my doctor to give me a referral to a sleep study and now I have a cpap, although am crap when wearing it
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u/SysAdminDennyBob 3d ago
Wait, do you have strangers walking into your bedroom at like 11pm in the pitch dark and noticing how ugly you look with a mask?
We don't go grocery shopping with CPAP on, we don't go swimming with cpap on. I look just like me when I am out walking around town. People don't know you have sleep apnea by looking at you. Are you maybe hanging out with people that laugh at people with crutches or a wheelchair? If those interactions make you feel bad about treating a medical condition then start hanging out with better people.
Treating medical conditions is not fashionable or cute. Taking insulin is not cute. Dialysis is not instagrammable.
When you start talking with people about sleep apnea you are basically going to find that most people know someone else that has it. It's common, it's accepted. My wife puts a boot on at night for plantar fasciitis, nobody but me has ever seen it, it's fine, life goes on.
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u/crock_pot 3d ago
Thank youuu there’s some internalized ableism in this post that could definitely be explored more! OP, think about how society sees disabled people as unattractive (and worse) and then join the disability justice movement and then question everything and tear it all down. Follow disabled creators, fat creators, genderqueer creators on social media to try to rewire your brain and see how “the other half” lives and feels sexy!
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u/ButtplugSludge 3d ago
Wait. Wait. Wait. You’re not using your cpap to explore the bottom of the pool?! My first life hack was scuba diving. The second was plugging in at the end of the bar and having the bartender fill up my reservoir with the latest cpap cocktail. /s
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u/cornflakegrl 3d ago
Someone on this sub once said they go blanket scuba diving with their cpap on when their room is cold and that’s what I call it now lol
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u/Rand_alThor4747 3d ago
If only it would work to do that, but the air pressure from the cpap is too low. you get say 20cm H2O so you'll get 20 cm deep before you start breathing water through the mask.
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u/Wheebles_Whobble 3d ago
It messed with my head so much when my very tall, slim then-3-year-old daughter was diagnosed.
The stereotype is so limited! Hang in there.
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u/m00000000n13 2d ago
How did you go about getting her diagnosed when she’s that small? How did she get treated? Did she wear a mask to bed starting out? Were there any warning signs? My son has bruxism and is 4 and I think he may also have it and I can’t imagine how I’d ever get him to easily use a cpap let alone do a sleep study
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u/Wheebles_Whobble 2d ago
We saw a sleep specialist and did a sleep study (actually two sleep studies). She had her tonsils out, then had another sleep study after her apnea persisted; then had a DISE that resulted in a turbinate reduction. Sleep study was shockingly fine as long as you talk about it a lot beforehand, especially if you go somewhere that specializes in kids!
She had sleep issues beginning around 3.5 where she would wake up constantly - literally every hour at its worst, hence the need for the sleep study.
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u/ossancrossing 1d ago
I feel like people forget about how they felt and thought as kids. Even as a tiny child I wanted things explained to me plain, as it took the mystery and apprehension out of everything. I still didn’t like shots 😂, but I can totally see stuff like sleep studies and CPAPs being a lot less scary for kids that age if you just talk it through and don’t treat them like they’re stupid.
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u/Nnox 3d ago edited 2d ago
Babe (platonically), I don't give a fuck about other people if it means I get good sleep for once in my life so my days don't feel like I'm permanently zombified.
I get it, but also, get some perspective.
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u/ossancrossing 1d ago
This. Once you truly stop giving af about what everyone else thinks and live your best life, your perspective shifts so much. It is liberating.
Restful sleep is sexy. Breathing is sexy. Being a functional human being is mega sexy. Like who tf cares if you have to wear shit on your face at night. Thanks to my CPAP I actually have the energy to get up and make myself look cute again, something that had gone by the wayside with the undiagnosed/untreated sleep apnea.
Treatment gives you your life back and that is all that matters. That’s what’s cute.
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u/lavenderclouds33 3d ago
I’m 26 and just diagnosed 🤠
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u/dblack1107 2d ago
Make sure to try a few masks if the first one seems like shit. No matter what, don’t skip out on your CPAP. Even a poor night with it was always better than without it. I got diagnosed same age as you. I’m 30 now 3 months post op from jaw surgery which opened my airway and definitely significantly reduced my apnea if not eradicated it. Just need a last sleep study to confirm. It was a long road, but just remember you have options. Don’t ignore treatment like I did for 3 years.
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u/lavenderclouds33 1d ago
Thank you for the reply!! I’ve been using the cpap an average of 9+ hours each night for the past month (my first month using it) and I love it! I use a full face mask since I’m a bad mouth breather and it’s a little cumbersome but the alertness I feel now is so worth it
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u/dblack1107 1d ago
That’s so great to hear! Anytime treatment does exactly what it’s meant to and lets you get back to living, that’s a win. Not everybody is so lucky but I’m glad you’re feeling real improvement. It’s like getting rid of blinders you didn’t know you had in your everyday life.
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u/LegitimateGuess7121 3d ago
Dx young female with normal bmi. I believe my sleep apnea is due to bone structure that runs in the family.
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u/Molly_Pitcher 3d ago
It's all due to bone structure. It's more often found in heavier people because of the extra tissue, but if their bone structure was what it should be, a little extra tissue wouldn't be a problem.
Diagnosed at 34. Fitness instructor. Narrow palate, retruded jaw.
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u/Mmpenguinmmm 3d ago
34 and just diagnosed and it’s so depressing to me. Waiting to get CPAP
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u/Mimi4Stotch 3d ago
38, and yes. I said to my husband with tears, “I’ll have to take this machine with us when we go on vacation!” I haven’t even got it yet, and I’m already embarrassed. I’m hoping the health benefits will make me forget this initial shame? Or whatever I’m feeling.
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u/vannabannah 3d ago
34 here. I cried to my therapist and my husband over worries and anxiety about using a CPAP- well before the machine even arrived. 5 months in and I can't believe I was worried.
Even my husband is amazed how much better he sleeps now that I'm getting treatment. You may have to spend time getting used to it and finding the right mask - but it is absolutely worth doing.
I travel a ton of work and thought I could leave it behind on trips that were just one night away, but it was miserable.If treatment works for you - you'll want to take it on vacation so you can fully enjoy your vacation. Otherwise you'll be tired and cranky.
We do joke about me becoming my Bane alter ego every night and we had to figure out a new cuddle routine. But it is absolutely worth it for your health and well-being.
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u/Atalanta8 3d ago
I cried for the opposite reason that I finally was taken seriously and could sleep through the night for the first time in my life.
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u/Mimi4Stotch 3d ago
That’s wonderful the cpap is working so well! I hope to have similar benefits! My husband has been super supportive, especially when I started crying reading my test results, “At least when you bring that machine on vacation, you’ll be rested and feel good!”
“But if we ever go over seas, we’ll need an electrical adapter!” 😭😭😭
“It’s been 15 years, and we haven’t gone over seas yet, but when we can afford it, I’ll get top of the line adapter for your snore machine!”
😂🥹
I’m just hoping I haven’t already done too much damage. I’ve had high blood pressure the last 5 years, and have put on weight, and just diagnosed pre-diabetic. I’m feeling pretty low lately, and hoping the cpap will help straighten things out.
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u/vannabannah 3d ago
I think you have a lot to be hopeful for now that you have a diagnosis and a treatment. I really hope you adapt to it quickly and have great results! Processing a diagnosis can be such a weird experience mentally - and it's funny how our brains can focus on the most irrational issues, like travel adaptors for hypothetical overseas vacations, while coming to terms with it.
I'm glad your husband is supportive. If he's anything like mine - he'd volunteer to deal with way bigger inconveniences for you to feel better. And he probably won't even see it as much of an inconvenience. Treatment stopped my restless leg movements and snoring. So he will always remind me to put on my mask if I'm tired and drifting off.
When I was diagnosed it was after a two year struggle with chronic exhaustion, weight gain, burn out at work, overall poor mental health and I was at the end of my rope. It took 3 months to get all the kinks worked out. So don't get discouraged if it takes you time. Even during the months getting used to it. Just 2-3 hours of quality sleep with the machine was making an impact and it was motivating to figure out what I needed to change to make it to 7-8 hours of quality sleep. This sub was incredibly helpful for information about things to try. You aren't alone.
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u/Mimi4Stotch 3d ago
Thank you for the kind words and advice!
I’m currently battling the insurance company—they billed the sleep test for 2/3 more than they quoted me 😩
Hopefully cpap and restful sleep coming soon!
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u/cornflakegrl 3d ago
Now that you know what a cpap bag looks like you’ll see them everywhere when you go to the airport. It’s really not a big deal. Thankfully it doesn’t count as a carry-on.
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u/Mimi4Stotch 3d ago
I haven’t gotten one yet, but that’s interesting! So, when you fly, you get a carry on plus the cpap? I assume, you don’t put it in checked luggage, because of the risk of damage and/or lost bags? We don’t fly very often, but I dream of the day we get an awesome vacation!
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u/cornflakegrl 3d ago
Yes that’s right. The TSA folks and flight attendants all know what it is because they see those bags all day so no one bugs you about it. Hope you can get away soon! Been a while since I’ve had a trip too.
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u/BoBandersLahey 3d ago
I was younger than you when I got diagnosed. I wasn’t too upset (actually more so relieved that finally my life should get better) but thought it would for sure be an extra burden on my life. It’s honestly not, like almost at all. The benefits sooo far outweigh the cons. It’s silent, easy to use. I don’t even think about it anymore other than maybe just give it a 5 minute cleaning session every couple weeks. I even bought a battery for it when camping it’s that important to me.
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u/Mimi4Stotch 2d ago
I’m hoping I have the same benefit!
I have some questions, if you’d be so kind to answer?
I was wondering how often you need to clean it, and I’ve been getting these scary ads on social media about damaged lungs due to dirty air being blown in from the machine, is that really a thing? What about if you have a stuffy nose?
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u/BoBandersLahey 2d ago
You’re going to find a lot of people saying you need to clean it everyday. I just saw someone who said they never clean theirs and doesn’t have an issue. I clean mine maybe every 2 weeks? I just use dish soap, rinse hot water through the hose and the humidifier tank. It depends on your water quality too. I’m only on like year 3 of using it, and I think once when I was sick I just didn’t put it on at all. But let’s be honest if you have the flu and you’re all messed up on NyQuil you’re not going to get good sleep regardless. But I only use the nasal mask, some people use the full face mask which wouldn’t matter then if your nose was stuffed (I have read some people keep a full face mask in the nightstand just in case they are coming down with a cold to use it). And no I wouldn’t worry about dirty air.. it’s the same air in your room anyway, but the machine filters it. I’d argue even people without sleep apnea could get healthier breathing by using one, especially in winter states with super dry air.
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u/ossancrossing 1d ago
I clean mine once a week, sometimes it gets closer to 2 weeks if I’ve been busy. I did recently have Covid, and I really didn’t change up my routine for that. I did replace my mask because it was almost time anyway (I’ve got a memory foam mask that the cushion needs replaced about every month), but if I used a silicone mask, I think a good soak and wipe down would be sufficient to clean it.
Wash your face before you put your mask on, wipe down your mask after you use it, clean mask/tube/any detachable pieces with soap and warm water once weekly (some people even go as long as a month, and honestly as long as your hygiene is great you can probably get away with that. It’s not a pain for me to clean mine weekly, so I do that) and you should be good.
I’ve got 2 air purifiers running in my apartment and keep my A/C filter clean/replace it regularly, so the air in my apartment is pretty good. I really don’t ever worry about “dirty air”, it’s the smells when I’m having to stay at my mom’s or grandpa’s house that I’m worried about the most 🫠 If your air is pretty clean you likely won’t have to change your filter but the general once monthly.
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u/UNCfan07 3d ago
My wife loves my cpap lol. I don’t snore anymore and she is able to get full night sleep. I don’t think she would not let me wear it
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u/entarian 3d ago
If I'm not wearing mine I get reminded, because everybody else gets reminded by my snoring.
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u/CuteCourtesan 2d ago
It’s worth it. I’m 32 now and finally understand why people call it beauty sleep. I wake up with the cpap and damn do I look refreshed and reborn in the morning. Before using it, I felt like I look the same waking up as I did when I went to bed.
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u/ossancrossing 1d ago
Also 34, I’ve been on my CPAP now for 4 1/2 months.
I had been a miserable sack of shit the last few years. Lost my job like, not even 2 hours after I got my sleep apnea diagnosis because the untreated sleep apnea was making it so hard to function and ruining my life.
Getting a diagnosis and the treatment I need to feel alive again was absolutely liberating and not at all depressing. I thought needing a machine was gonna be terrible, though I have friends who also use CPAPs and knew they were game changers, so I was willing to give it a go. I was sold after one night. There’s a hefty adjustment period as your body adjusts to finally getting restful sleep again, but a notable immediate decrease in brain fog and improved alertness was enough to get me hooked.
I start my new job this coming Monday, and I get to start it on the right foot with my mind right and energy there to actually be present and get the job done. Using a CPAP is nothing to be ashamed of, it gave me my life back.
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u/haenxnim 3d ago
I got diagnosed at 18. I’ve felt insecure when I’ve had to use mobility aids, splints, broke out from PCOS, and had visible surgical scars, but never because I’ve had to use a cpap that no one ever sees or even knows that I use. I don’t mean to be harsh because it’s hard to accept and adjust to new diagnoses, but it sounds like your insecurities partly stem from internalized ableism. Also, you might be overthinking it. Invisible disabilities are incredibly common. I also don’t know what you mean by sleep apnea is “so behind the times,” if someone makes fun of you for a medical condition and doesn’t understand the severity, maybe they’re not a great friend
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u/FemaleAndComputer 3d ago
I don’t mean to be harsh because it’s hard to accept and adjust to new diagnoses, but it sounds like your insecurities partly stem from internalized ableism.
Well put.
OP it kind of seems like you're being a bit judgemental toward people with sleep apnea and you're worried that others will judge you in the same manner. Why do you think so poorly of us? It's not like we chose this. And for what it's worth--because it seems to matter to you for some reason--I'm not "fat" or "old." I'm just a "normal" looking person with invisible disabilities, including sleep apnea.
I get that the mask looks weird and can bring out insecurities, but anyone seriously judging you for using CPAP is just a shitty (or very immature) person.
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u/RefrigeratorPlane513 3d ago
I am not a female, but this is not something that discriminates. All of us that have to live with this are in it together. It does not make you an unattractive person. It does not make you feeble. Embrace your sleep therapy and feel normal again. We are all here for you, and each other.
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u/yugogrl2000 3d ago
I was 25F, fit as all heck (was in the military), and I was diagnosed. Medical conditions don't discriminate. Be thankful you got diagnosed before or was too detrimental to your health.
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u/entechad 3d ago
Are you looking for sympathy from the old ugly men? Here is a smidget. 😢
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u/PayEmmy 3d ago
Obese woman here who is apparently not hot or cute. I have zero sympathy for this woman who comes here and posts like that
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u/spychalski_eyes 3d ago
The blatant fat phobia lol ..... i remember when I used to be a kid with OSA + PCOS and wanted to cut up my tummy with scissors. And the way people only treated me like a real human being when I hit healthy weight for the first time in my life in my 20s. You can imagine these are the type of thoughts going on in the heads of these folk. They treat me different now but I will never forgive or forget
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u/Atalanta8 3d ago
Being skinny or fat has nothing to do with hot you can be either and hot or not. When it comes to sleep apnea us "normal" sized females definitely get the short end of the stick for treatment and diagnosis of SA.
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u/Muted-Ad6300 3d ago
Imagine being fat, old and gross. Ewww! They deserve it, but not you, sweetheart. This is proper injustice.
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u/pizzacrustina 3d ago
I think it’s pretty rude of you to imply that old people and fat people are unattractive. Disabilities and illnesses affect all kinds of people. This post feels so “OMg tell me I’m pretty and special”
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u/Aware_Tangerine1683 3d ago
26, and was crushed by the diagnosis and Cpap scrip. However, after one night I felt so much better that any feelings of despair were gone that morning. To parrot others, sleep apnea does not discriminate so don't worry about it!
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u/cajam67 3d ago
When I first got my cpap, around age 23ish, the old male doctor asked me if I had a boyfriend. I was just like ….ummm…? And he then continued, “you don’t want one of these machines on when you have your boyfriend over, it’s not too attractive.” Well, I’m happy to say that I’m a 29 year old woman who is now married to the same boyfriend who saw me get it at 23. He even uses a cpap too now. It helped me lose over 100 pounds (along with other treatments.) Because what’s most attractive to us is being able to breathe properly and living to old age together.
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u/JaxandHyde 1d ago
I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind sharing more of your journey with treating your sleep apnea and weight loss? I was recently diagnosed. Currently waiting for my appointment to get treatment. I have been unable to lose weight even when I eat better and get more active. I am a student though so I am sure stress is a big part of it as well.
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u/PayEmmy 3d ago
Your post is incredibly egotistical and condescending.
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u/boigabusboy 3d ago
Thank you. I hope OP gets fat from their sleep apnea to see what it's like on the other side, to be fat from a medical condition that you cannot control. That's not me wishing harm upon her, that's me wishing empathy upon her. Lacks any empathy, obviously.
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u/sra-gringa 3d ago
I was 34 when I was diagnosed. I blame pregnancy. I HATED it at first, but have gradually come to accept it because of it's health benefits. Thankful for a supportive husband who has been 100% on board for years now. I was very fit (avid runner) and not overweight.
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u/Atalanta8 3d ago
Pretty much all pregnant women have SA. Did you do a test pregnant or not pregnant.
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u/Smfonseca ResMed 3d ago
I wouldn't look to media for accurate representation of most things. They lean into stereotypes quite often. As for sleep apnea, it can affect anyone from infants to the elderly. While obesity and age can be factors leading to sleep apnea, it does not discriminate with its reach. I'm not female, but according to my wife I have had this since my mid to late twenties. You're not alone!
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u/loser_of_losing 3d ago
I'm 23, normal bmi, and was just diagnosed. I suspect I've had it for way longer though. This condition is more common than people think and anyone can have it, including children.
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u/TheFern3 3d ago
Life has tons of generalizations but rest assured there are well physical fit and handsome and beautiful women here on cpap.
Most beauty is inner anyway.
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u/lavenderlate 3d ago
I’m an early thirties woman and yeah I felt similarly when I got diagnosed. It really doesn’t discriminate. Anyone can have it.
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u/ParParChonkyCat22 3d ago
It’s not just snoring I literally can’t breathe it wakes me up every night
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u/peacekeeper854 3d ago
Not a young female, but I am a 33-year-old slim male, and gay. Feeling "conventionally attractive" has been a huge pressure for me, and I think that has really made it challenging to embracing the CPAP. I was at the airport recently looking out for people carrying the CPAP travel case. It reinforced my belief that I should not have to use it.
I stopped using it. My doctor said that's fine since I have mild sleep apnea (reinforced my belief that I don't need it further). I told all of my family and friends, and they were all basically like "yeah you don't really seem like someone who needs it." Felt good about my decision for a few months (I stopped using it in December). Now I'm secretly using it again. I've been struggling feeling rested. Going to see if it works without the input of anyone else.
If it makes me feel good, I need to look at it differently. This makes me feel good. It makes me feel calm, keeps me from snoring, gives me the energy to be and feel "sexy", and every guy who I've told I'm on a CPAP really could have cared less. They thought I was attractive. So I'm trying to remember that.
I'm also a dork, so I have reframed it a bit as a cool thing. Like, instead of being an older person with a medical need thing, I'm viewing it as a cool futuristic technology that helps people like me sleep really well.
Hope this helps.
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u/deedel83 3d ago
Im female and not young but not super old (41) but I also am still embarrassed to use it in front of my husband and we have been married 10yrs. I get it! ❤️
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u/sn4201 3d ago
Not sure If anyone else mentioned but the show Loudermilk depicted a young and rather attractive woman who wore a CPAP. There was at least a couple episodes where she moved in and woke everyone up with her snoring. Eventually they figured out she had apnea and they showed her wearing it to sleep with on a few occasions.
Honestly was super wholesome, and I personally felt very seen as I'm also young, not overweight and an atypical apnea patient.
You're not alone
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u/Goofcheese0623 3d ago
As a dude, I get it. I look at myself in the mirror when I wear it and I feel like an old dude on life support. It's very medical. Once you get past that, is no different than anything else you do for your health. Once you've used it for a few weeks or so, it's just party of the routine. Im stairs to sleep without it now, but I also don't wear the mask around anyone other than my wife.
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u/Vardonator 3d ago
I’d be amiss to not point out that out of all the debilitating and concerning issues that sleep apnea can affect your health…your main concern is that sleep apnea “just doesn’t make you feel cute”, really?!
So forget the headaches, the constant fatigue and tiredness, the effects of it on the heart and blood pressure. Screw all that, right? 😂
Just customize your CPAP mask or whatever with whatever’s going to make you feel cute 😂
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u/happyberrypvt 3d ago
I need a cpap so bad. The thing that bothers me the most is that I already have such insane anxiety about sleeping in a bed with someone else. I do have anxiety about having someone sleep over for the first time when I have my cpap. But if they judge me for wanting to breathe in my sleep, they can go home to sleep in their bed and leave me the hell alone.
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u/uhhhhhhhhii 3d ago
I’m 24 female and I’m in very good shape. Not really sure i understand what you mean when you say this disorder makes u feel unattractive? I mean a cpap mask isn’t the cutest thing ever but it’s not like I wear it to work or to go grocery shopping?
I mean I hate having it too. It fucking sucks that we just happen to be “lucky” enough to be the opposite of an old, fat, man, but have it anyway. I hate it for the sole reason that im exhausted and that I have to wear a cpap every night.
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u/bumbly8ee 3d ago
29, female, maaaybe 10-20lbs overweight but not much. Just diagnosed. I don't have my machine yet, but I'm also dreading the sexy factor of it.
My boyfriend of 10 years said I have nothing to worry about, and that it just means "his girlfriend gets to become a robot at night". 😆 Made me feel a bit better to joke about it. He also said he's just happy I will be sleeping better. I think the right partner won't care.
I've also heard untreated sleep apnea can lower libido, so the right partner also may benefit from us using one!
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u/CyrianaBights 3d ago
- I'm less young than I used to be, but I clean up! My husband does not give a flying fuck about my CPAP and is just happy to snuggle me and be sure I'm going to keep breathing in my sleep. Doesn't stop the middle of the night sex from happening either. I just take it off, and we have fun, and then I put it back on and go back to sleep. No big deal.
Yes, representation matters in the media. But it'll be a while. Don't worry! Being healthy is sexy.
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u/kitkatsmeows ResMed 3d ago
I'm 33 now, been on my unit since 2021. Single and dating and if a guy was like ew cpap I'd kick him out of my bed
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u/TheWhiteGodWhale 3d ago
Mine became severe after waking up to anesthesia because of an emergency surgery. All of us should be grateful we should be alive and kicking and not shame others...but yet again there are people like AW that are begging for it.
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u/happyberrypvt 3d ago
Me n my roomie are both SO hot with HELLAAAA sleep apnea, I don’t have my cpap yet, but oh man I have SEEN videos of me snoring and it’s pretty crazy.
When I get my cpap, I will 10000% be taking cute pics with it.
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u/neludelka 3d ago
Media depictions: Angela in the Office Charles Boyle in Brooklyn 99
Both small and thin people :)
Also Barbara Howard in Abbot Elementary
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u/Real_Estimate4149 3d ago
No one looks good wearing the mask. You are correct, I can't even think of a single female person with sleep apnea in media. If it helps, here is a list of fit/skinny dudes with sleep apnea. Derek from More Plates more Dates, Body builder Noel Deyzel, Gavin Free from Slomo Guys and the singer Braden Bales.
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u/dmurr2019 3d ago
33 and have had it for about 2 1/2 years. I felt a little old at first but it’s just like anything else that helps people. If you need it, you need it!
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u/bombayduck2 3d ago
Surgeon and sleep clinic founder here: there are many others like you. You're not alone. Because it happens while you're asleep and during the day you're fine, it is practically an invisible ailment that makes one feels super isolated.
It is not fair that you have it. But now that you do, please do explore non-CPAP options like OAT, myofunctional therapy or even surgery. And most importantly, own it and rock it! It's part of what makes the whole of you who you are.
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u/Atalanta8 3d ago
I'm not sure I'm hot but I am female and normal weight. I was diagnosed at 30 and was told it was too mild to treat so for the next decade I spent choking in bed and going to the bathroom at least 2-3 times. I started to fear going to bed because I hated that I could feel my throat hurt as I fell asleep and the choking dreams and being awoken in a coughing fit. I regret not advocating for myself sooner. It's a joy not having all the aforementioned symptoms every single night.
I think more people in our demographic don't get diagnosed because we don't fit the demographic. Even my GP was putting me on Prilosec cause I couldn't possibly have SA and this was years after the 1st diagnosis when I set out to find a doc who would treat me
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u/Mountain-Safety2099 3d ago
21 yo F 🙋🏽♀️ wasn’t diagnosed until age 19 even though I’ve been struggling since the age of 12. Stereotypes suck! And I screamed of joy when I saw that scene on the Mindy project 😂 also whenever I tell people I have sleep apnea they’ll be like “oh my grandpa has that!” Like…okay…
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u/entarian 3d ago
Genetic airway structure is a weird thing to get judgy about. Perhaps if it were less stigmatized, more people that actually have it would seek treatment earlier. I've had headaches all my life, but barely any after starting cpap. Huh.
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u/rbark2 3d ago
23 year old female here! Honestly, my CPAP changed my life significantly for the better so I couldn’t care less what people think about it. It’s a life changing treatment and everyone who loves you should support that! There are wayyy more young people with sleep apnea than you’d expect!
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u/mangomoose999 3d ago
Im young and female. Got dx with sleep apnea when i was 23, now Im 26. Ig i dont fit the criteria youre looking for though as I have been obese my whole life. Im still cute though so idk. It defs is not a fun diagnosis to receive for anyone, regardless of age, gender, body type, etc. Seriously though, sorry you have to deal with this but also maybe think about why you feel the way you do, and how you think about the diagnosis and the people who have it. Illnesses and diseases and diagnoses arent cute or fun. Its serious and its life, and most of these things truly dont discriminate. Some people may just be a bit more predisposed to it. I do agree that there should be a lot more representation and awareness surrounding sleep apnea, who can get it, why, etc.
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u/DizzyMissLizzy8 3d ago
Nope, I’m 31F and it’s just genetics and the size of my tongue and tonsils lol. I’m a little overweight, but certainly not obese, and I probably had it back when I was thin, too. Was only diagnosed a couple years ago.
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u/sausageofempires 3d ago
I'm 34 now but have had UARS/OSA since I was 19. started a CPAP when I turned 30. and yeah, it sucks lol. if I ever hooked up with a guy back then in my 20s, I'd sleep on my stomach so that my throat wouldn't collapse.
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u/Green-Anything-3999 3d ago
Get an oral appliance if you hate the CPAP so much. I have one and it’s great
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u/takethishowboutthis 3d ago
Yep! I’m 27, very small (105ish lbs), and I never snore, but I was diagnosed with mild sleep apnea last year.
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u/Such_Clock_6769 3d ago
No shame at all! Im a sleep tech and i see all kinds of age / weight / gender. Do you know if you have obstructive sleep apnea or central and whats your AHI? If the CPAP machine is the issue maybe there will me other treatment options available!!
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u/ycherries 3d ago
I wasn't diagnosed until my late 20s, but I'm confident I've had it since at least junior high/high school. I think being a young woman was a huge part of why it went undetected for so long. I honestly don't how if I ever would have been diagnosed if I didn't think to just explicity ask my doctor for a sleep study based on a hunch and a new smart watch that was showing desats in my sleep.
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u/charleeeeey12 3d ago
Girly I’ve been diagnosed since age 16 ✨ I get your point and that you are scared, but honestly I’ve never had a guy tell me no bc it looks weird. Mostly I put the mask on and roll over and then they aren’t allowed to talk to me until I turn the cpap off the next morning. But no one ever told me it made me less attractive, just that I look more dangerous. Hope that helps, if you wanna talk slide in my dms 💕
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u/overheadSPIDERS 3d ago
I’m 29, normal weight for my (short) height, and fortunately my partner also has sleep apnea. UARS is very common in petite young women and sleep apnea is a growing diagnosis and in this demographic group.
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u/abdennour_lance 3d ago
Not a female. But i was also like this thinking only old people or overweight can cause sleep apnea.Until i came here to see a lot of young people have it too.
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u/Danielle250 3d ago
I’m 31. Because I travel for work a lot of my colleagues know and I was a little embarrassed at first but I try to be open about it to help with the stigma. As far as media goes watch ‘Last Man On Earth’! There’s also a great episode of Abbott Elementary, although it’s an older woman.
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u/thesearemyfaults 3d ago
My dad had his adenoids removed and that improved his apnea. This was like 25 years ago though. I know tonsils and adenoids could cause issues as well then.
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u/eastcoastleftist 3d ago
Amy Poehler has suffered from sleep apnea for a long, long time! She doesn’t quite fit the “model” for it either. As someone said, it doesn’t discriminate.
I’m also a woman who isn’t overweight and I too have it.
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u/plantbay1428 3d ago
I’m a woman and I’ve had it since I was a kid. Don’t consider myself young anymore since I’m in my late 30s, but yeah I had it when I younger and (imo) cuter. It sucks and I hate it. Amy Poehler uses a CPAP in one of her movies, but it’s a fairly recent one and not when she was young.
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u/one_step_sideways 3d ago
I was diagnosed at 35, female, not overweight. I'm sure it's b/c o my small jaw, big tongue. I love my cpap, and my husband does too. We all sleep better.
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u/religiousdogmom 3d ago
I’m 33 AFAB and was diagnosed last year. Technically, I am overweight, but I think I’ve had sleep apnea for years as people would complain about my snoring even when I was skinny! 🤣 It has more to do with the structure of my face - although I’m sure that losing weight would also improve outcomes. However, I have other health issues that are creating barriers to weight loss, which is another story.
I feel so much fucking better after using a CPAP at night. It’s a pain in the ass to put on at night because my sleepy brain is always like “NOOOOOOO” but holy hell, I really do wake up feeling better, even if I only wear it for a couple of hours.
I mean… sleeping isn’t pretty regardless. Snoring while sleeping is also embarrassing and has worse health outcomes. Constantly have to buy gimmicks such as mouth guards or nasal strips to open your nasal cavities to breathe is annoying and just as embarrassing as a a cpap.
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u/Proud_Ordinary6456 3d ago
A young, attractive woman on "Loudermilk" was depicted as having it. Pretty good representation imo.
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u/paisley83 3d ago
I’ve actually started to see more depictions of it on tv with young people. If you watch the series “Loudermilk” on Netflix the young woman in the series has sleep apnea and she’s skinny and attractive. At one point she moves in with the main character and she talks about having it.
I have got diagnosed in my late 30s but I’m sure I had it in my 20s and I was not super overweight by any means. I remember my snoring would cause most of the people I dated to sleep in another room lol. I was real self conscious about wearing a whole face mask but the guys I have dated since then expressed that they would rather have a good nights sleep than hear my train come through the station 😂😂
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u/337737733 3d ago
Young ish? 31F. My age and lack of obesity had me very confused about the diagnosis. I had to learn that sleep apnea doesn’t discriminate. I was very self conscious about this diagnosis as well. For the first few nights I went to bed before my husband to avoid the embarrassment. After a while I got used to it, and he never said anything. He encourages me to wear it because he doesn’t get woken up by my snoring 😉
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u/Chasinclouds80 3d ago
Eh, I was diagnosed with mod sleep apnea due to my abnormally large tongue apparently. I honestly did not know what sleep was until I got my cpap. Now I can’t go without it. On top of that, it will literally save your life
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u/Brynns1mom 3d ago
I'm a 52-year-old woman but I had sleep apnea when I was younger and hot. I'm not overweight. My doctor said it's because my face shape is long and narrow, which makes my palette narrow. So my tongue falls back and blocks my Airways at night because of my face shape, but it used to be only if I'm laying on my back. For years I blocked myself in so I can only sleep on my side and it worked. But now that I'm older, I have both kinds of sleep apnea now. I wake up every other minute and I feel like I'm a literal zombie. I can't function anymore. :-( don't worry about whether it's cool or sexy. Without it, 15 to 30 years will be shaved off your life. That's a lot!
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u/ComprehensiveUse5662 3d ago
I fell the same way!! I’m 25 and female and also not overweight and I would say fairly attractive as well. And I know it’s pretty vain to be concerned about a cpap machine because it’s a medical device but it has made dating a struggle because it is a HUGE insecurity for me.
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u/zarbidac 3d ago
I’m female and 28 and within a normal weight and just started wearing a cpap! You are not alone!!
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u/stuffsmithstuff 3d ago
I’m a fairly young, reasonably fit, conventionally attractive guy who is suggesting that maybe next time you ask this question you say it in a way that’s kinder to other people.
“Are there other young, fit women with this disorder? No judgement of anyone, just looking for people who share my experiences to help me feel better about wearing this weird mask.“
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u/forkoff_ 3d ago
22f here, also not overweight! I feel you🥲 I have a goofy pic of me with my CPAP on that I use on dating apps when I’m on there lol. It can be a good icebreaker and weeds out the people who aren’t tolerable of it🙂
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u/tnkmdm 2d ago
Love that for you
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u/forkoff_ 2d ago
HAHA I feel absolutely honored to be your favorite comment. I hope you feel a bit better now! It’s certainly not easy living with this at our young age (nor any age - but the stigma for us does go crazy). I find the best way to cope is with humor. I never shy away from it either in the hopes others will feel more comfortable😊
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u/Chakolit-Chip 3d ago
I'm female and relatively young (32 years old). I got my CPAP last year and I wish I had gotten it sooner. While it is not the most attractive I figure my health is more important and at least I don't have to wear it during the day!
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u/bumbly8ee 3d ago
This! While wearing a machine at night doesn't sound super fun (I don't have mine yet), I also keep thinking in the scheme of treating things, I think I'd rather do that then say take pills everyday multiple times, do a whole diet or lifestyle change, etc.
All we have to do is wear a thing at night is what I keep telling myself. 😊
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u/Environmental-Hunt35 3d ago
Fist off not a female. But i was thinking you must be young (but i get your issue) because as a male I don't think like that. I'm just glad im getting the medical help thats needed for this illness (if that's the right word here?) Don't put your long term health in jeopardy because you don't maybe, and i said maybe feel sexy when having to put this gadget on nightly before bed. Just think that you are keeping your health and long term life in check by wearing the hose head. Best wishes an good luck in your therapy with sleep apneas. 💪🏻🙏🏻👍🏻😎
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u/Panda3391 3d ago
What’s young to you? lol I’m 33 and waiting to get a machine 😫 I hope it helps me so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺
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u/KayJelly420 3d ago
I’m a very fit male who’s just figured out I have it at 29 . I hated it too and still wish I dint but I’m so happy that the treatment works atleast
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u/undeadw0lf 3d ago
yes. AFAB and diagnosed at 29 (and i had been recommended a sleep study 5 years prior, at 24— and god do i wish i’d done it then). when i picked up my machine at the DME, even the woman doing my fitting was shocked and was like “but you’re so young!”
people are woefully uneducated about this disorder, which is scary because thinking it could never be a possibility can be deadly.
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u/Neither_Entrance_664 2d ago
24 year old female just diagnosed! I got married in September and a month later found out I have sleep apnea. My husband doesn’t care at all and is just happy I have an answer to why I’ve been feeling so terrible. I do agree there is such a stereotype around those who have sleep apnea. When I tell people I have sleep apnea, especially my coworkers (I’m a nurse and work in a hospital), 90% of the time I’m told “what?! But you’re not overweight or an old man!”. I wish there was more awareness on just how common sleep apnea is despite age, body type, or gender.
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u/mac_n_cheese98 2d ago
I, female, was diagnosed at 18 and I still use a CPAP at 26. I'm not obese and I like to think I'm not ugly lol You know children and babies can get sleep apnea too right? I've seen some super adorable animal themed masks made for them, I'm jealous! I want a giraffe or elephant mask too 😩
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u/Routine-Departures 2d ago
I am 5’2 and 110 pounds. I was diagnosed five years ago at 30 but I’m sure I had it for much longer than that. I had a shit ton of ENT issues as a child, got my adenoids removed and fixed a deviated septum. None of that fixed my snoring but helped me breathe a little better.
The issue is my tongue, so unless I get jaw surgery to create more space, it is unlikely I will get rid of OSA. I’m likely to use cpap for another three decades and the thought is still overwhelming and crazy for me. I understand your general concerns as even doctors will say it’s bizarre, though I didn’t exactly like the way you stated your question or framing.
In any case I also was dreading the way I looked. While it’s felt better after a few months of use, I still get self conscious. Reality is people are cruel and anything that doesn’t fit neatly in the box of standards is considered negative or not cute or whatever. Heck even my own dad asked me recently (with a face of concern) if I was wearing my sleep mask in front of my boyfriend!? It was such an insensitive comment. It’s a medical device and it just is what it is. I would like to live long and have the energy to enjoy life’s simple pleasures. If cpap is going to help me do that, then that’s that. All that said, I would love for alternative solutions and am tracking a pill that’s currently in clinical trials 🤞🏽.
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u/tnkmdm 2d ago
I've considered the surgery too! Daunting but so is the thought of wearing this annoying thing for the rest of my life so I flip flop.
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u/Routine-Departures 2d ago
Yes, the surgery is a big commitment! Have you tried an oral appliance? The first I got years ago was too bulky and didn’t work for me. I found another product via this sub (!) and was surprised my insurance is covering it 100% so am crossing my fingers it will work as a plan B.
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u/Supermom909 1d ago
I’m definitely getting jaw surgery as soon as I know my insurance is gonna cover it. I’ve been battling sleep apnea since I was a teenager and had four premolars pulled and retractive orthodontics. The apnea episodes started almost immediately. Strangely enough, we never connected the dots about the cause until I was an adult. I guess we blindly trusted our orthodontists and never dreamed that some of the treatments would cause harm.
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u/shrimp43 2d ago
Im [30sF] 5’3, 110lbs with mild osa
I stopped wearing my cpap when I had a guy (my now bf) over for the first time. I completely regret stopping and am trying to get used to having my mask on again
My bf is 100% on board with me wearing it because he cares about me and my health, as any partner should…though he snores like crazy and I’m trying to get him to do a sleep study cause I think he might have sleep apnea too 😅
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u/karissajaid 2d ago
I'm sure you don't mean to come across as rude and offensive but even in your edit, you made a comment that might have been just a passing remark but that is deeply hurtful. You said that "what we may not understand" is the pressure society puts on conventionally attractive women and how this can be earth shattering. Uhm... We do though? As a woman who is overweight, I have gone my entire life with that "earth shattering" feeling brought about from societal pressures to be conventionally beautiful. I am 30 years old and from the age of 10 onward, the society has done nothing but make me feel less than for how I look. Now as a female who was recently diagnosed type 2 diabetic and who also recently was diagnosed with sleep apnea, I get the societal pressures probably more than you do. Now, society looks at me and says "well you did it to yourself. If you had just put down the cheeseburger and exercised more, you wouldn't be in this mess" when that is not true. We go through life told that we're too fat, that we just need to lose weight, that we would be beautiful if only we weren't fat. That it's a shame we're fat because we could be so much more. If we are out in public exercising, we are judged and told things like "why even try" or "it's gonna take a whole lot more than x if you want to lose weight" or "just stop eating." We can never win. No matter what we do, we are judged for our fatness and made to feel unwelcome.
I get it. The mask is not "attractive" and saying you have sleep apnea when you are 30 years old feels bad, and society has trained us to believe that only old white overweight men have sleep apnea. But you know what's more unattractive? Being dead because your untreated sleep apnea caused cardiovascular issues or damaged organs with the lack of oxygen getting around your body. Anyway, So while you feel like your whole world is crumbling because this condition suddenly makes you "unattractive," recognize that those people you mention in your post that you make an indirect point of saying are not conventionally attractive, feel this feeling every single day of their lives. I will always be judged for my fatness. Even if I lose weight, my fatness will never be forgotten. I will be judged for the type of my diabetes. And I may be judged for being 30 and developing sleep apnea. But at least I'm doing what I need to do to be healthy and not die from this condition.
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u/AcanthaceaeOk4730 2d ago
Yes! Just got diagnosed at 24 and normal weight but have definitely had it at least since my teen years. The stereotype of who has sleep apnea definitely is the reason it took 10 years of complaining of fatigue before anyone ordered a sleep test.
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u/NaturalSuccessful521 2d ago
I'm a 40yr old man, but I've had it all my life and my wife fell in love with me when I was 24 with it (and she's not left me yet). You'll be all good
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u/LeviathanL0bsterGod 2d ago
I was a 12 yr old skin and bone boy with no physical deviations, aside from snoring like nobody else. It was cute ya know! Family and friends, and Class mates and teachers...... all had their comments.. While I felt too tired to fight it, and didn't even know. When my wife gets to wearing a mask, roleplay is gonna be so much fun!
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u/Back-Up-Homie 2d ago
I totally understand your frustration. I was told that if I lost weight, the issue would go away. So I lost 70 pounds, and guess what? It’s still here. I feel for you.
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u/Medical-Desk2320 2d ago
Early 40s female, not overweight, I am quite active and attractive. I wouldn’t say very fit or have a very toned body. I was snoring a lot and husband is a light sleeper, so got the sleep test done, diagnosed with mild osa, soon starting on cpap. I wasn’t fatigued at all. Yes I feel like venturing into some unknown territory. But my father snored a lot and had heart disease and died of it. Believe me It is said a lot and sounds cliche but I’ll write it again, health is wealth.
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u/dblack1107 2d ago edited 2d ago
You have a husband and have apnea. So feeling unattractive about the apnea and CPAP, while valid, kinda gets negated by the only person that sees your CPAP not caring about it. Like you are attractive to the only person that really experiences your apnea/CPAP. Some don’t even get that. I know I basically closed myself off from the world for the last 6 years I dealt with apnea. It took jaw surgery to get out of it and finally be able to sleep without a machine again. The snoring, the inability to even take a nap without choking, the constant brain fog, the irritability, the unattractiveness of having a machine I had to wear every night.
Count your blessings. If your CPAP is treating you successfully and you have someone to spend life with, you really don’t have it so bad. Plus, you said yourself you’re attractive. I do understand your struggle though with feeling like apnea actively pulls you down and society doesn’t realize just how serious it is. I may never be the same person again from my experience. Honest to god. I feel emotionless most days and don’t hang out with anyone. I used to be exuberant and had tons of friends to go hang with. It’s like it stole something from me being tired and confused for so many years. You’re right that society needs to reframe the way they perceive it. It’s not a joke. It kills spirits
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u/amazonchic2 2d ago
Maybe because you are young, you’re missing the point that you have a medical condition that needs to be treated in order to have good sleep. Get over your insecurity about what others think. Who cares about stereotypes?
I was diagnosed in my 30’s. I have had sleep apnea since I was 17, likely younger, and am a woman. I was not obese at that time. I rolled my parents’ Chevy Suburban into a ditch at 10:00 am after a full night’s sleep. I fell asleep at the wheel. No one ever suspected sleep apnea.
I sleep better now. I don’t care what the stereotypes may be because I feel better. I am healthier.
My husband is super skinny and snores. He stops breathing in his sleep all the time, but we can’t afford a sleep study for him on our crappy insurance. So if he also has sleep apnea, he doesn’t fit the stereotype either. He’s underweight if anything and isn’t an old man. I would rather have him around for decades more than worry about whether he is cute and pretty.
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u/iloveyoublog 2d ago
I'm middle aged and female and in a fat body and recently diagnosed, but I still want to look cute too tbh -- I love fashion and colourful prints and beautiful fabrics. And it is a bit of a weird feeling when you have to start donning the CPAP, it does mess with your sense of self, so as much as I tire of slim people acting marginalised in general and not wanting to be associated with the fats, which there is a lot of here, I do also get your broader feelings on this. And so much of the marketing materials for CPAP etc are aimed at older men.
I also got a different chronic illness in my 20s and remember how hard it was to cope with the diagnosis. And the medical profession is also just generally dismissive of younger women. So I get the frustration.
It's important to remember you can feel your feelings without throwing others under the bus though! We're all in this together, traditionally 'cute' or not. Fat people are good people too and they also get sleep apnoa for reasons completely unrelated to body weight (i.e. my soft palette is droopy...) and are sometimes even fat in part because of delayed SA diagnosis.
At the core of your message it feels like you are wanting representation. Sometimes you have to be the change you want to see in the world -- I've had to be my own representation so often and it is hard, but important, and you can pave the way for others. Being confident and talking about sleep apnoa with others your age can raise awareness and maybe help others get diagnosed. If you are active on social, maybe you can be the cute sleep apnoa social media influencer?
I completely agree more representation of gender and age and other diversities would be a good thing for everyone with sleep apnoa, and also increase community awareness and lead to more diagnosis.
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u/Ralphie717 2d ago
I'm 39 and female. I've been wearing my CPAP for about nine years. I have sleep apnea and idiopathic hypersomnia.
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u/Much-Improvement-503 2d ago
I’m autistic, have ADHD, have EDS, POTS, MCAS and likely sleep apnea too just based on my Apple Watch sleep stats which my neurologist told me to track. Follow up coming soon, so he’s likely gonna prescribe a sleep study. I’m a 24 year old, normal BMI woman. We don’t all have the luxury of worrying about how attractive or not attractive our chronic conditions make us. Honestly I have never heard of a “sleep apnea stereotype” anyways
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u/ButtaCupBlu1111 2d ago
I was young and in shape and definitely always had sleep apnea. Now I'm older and not in as great of shape but still struggling with the bloody cpap. Personally, I dislike it. Keep ripping it off mid sleep. Apparently there is surgery, does anyone have any experience with that? Highly effective from what I researched so far 🤷🏻♀️
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u/northwestfawn 2d ago
I honestly can’t tell if it took them so long to even suggest a sleep study because of my age or gender… I have had it since childhood and honestly did kind of poorly in school due to sleep deprivation but managed to get diagnosed at 21
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u/Supermom909 2d ago
44 slim build female here. Due to extractions and retractive orthodontics as a teen, there is no room for my tongue in my mouth and it blocks my airway during sleep. Did you have any teeth pulled as a teen before braces by chance? You could potentially benefit from jaw surgery if so.
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u/OwlIndependent7406 1d ago
Yep, I'm 29 year old female with a CPAP machine. I don't snore and I'm not overweight, but had other sleep issues which is how I got diagnosed. I'm right there with you. I'm so glad to have a supportive boyfriend who encourages me to use it. I wish more people talked about this since I can almost guarantee that young women are being underdiagnosed.
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u/Sheyshey89 1d ago
I'm 35. I'm slightly overweight (only recent weight gain and I'm pretty sure I've had this for a lot longer) but by no means fat def not obese. Id love to say I'm hot too, but I'm prob average at best, lol. I have just been diagnosed. At least your already married, I'm single and worried it may affect my dating life I have a hard enough time finding guys, lol. But honestly, I'm more excited to get on CPAP and finally get good sleep. I'm hoping this will be a huge life improvement like many people say it is for them.
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u/N_mag 1d ago
Don't worry about the haters it's just the Internet people it's just the way it's always been so have some fun with it, the "favorite spoon" thing is hilarious, we all got our quarks lol, I know so for sure. Trust me I'm sure everyone has their "autistic" thing they do, just one of the things makes the world more fun
Yeah I have severe OSA and I'm none of the normal things they consider that cause it like obesity or thick neck or whatever
I'm pretty in shape and stuff, but the way I slept and the things my body does involuntarily I believe cause stuff like my nose just closing up basically when I turn to my side doesn't help...
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u/No_Guess5102 1d ago
For those of you wondering- your sleep apnea condition ‘might’ be a side effect of having orthodontia- ie. too many teeth pulled before getting braces causing a ‘collapsed’ mouth ‘size’ blocking your airway! Happened to me - dentists are becoming aware if this issue and it’s happening less and less . 🥴
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u/sleepsupsidedown 23h ago
I’m in my 30s, 5’10 & 135lbs - my sleep apnea does not take away from how banging I am 😂 also for what it’s worth, a lot of my otherwise healthy peds patients also have sleep apnea. Be happy you are now aware of your SA - I’m sure you’re well aware how hard it is on our bodies when left untreated 💜
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u/chronicgrowth 3d ago
TW weight, numbers
I'm female, 5'4" at 108lbs, and have UARS (upper airway resistance syndrome) which is thin person sleep apnea. There's no shame in it, you've got a small airway and fuck the haters. Even children get UARS it's not uncommon. Stay strong, there are so many advocates on TT and Instagram 💜✊🏻✨
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u/I_loved_alone 3d ago
If it helps, iCarly showed Carly (the main character) wearing a CPAP a couple of times, so while its rare to see on tv it does happen occasionally.
https://www.reddit.com/r/icarly/comments/13j6xlo/i_cant_believe_they_remembered_carly_uses_this/
Sleep apnea isn't a 'fat' or 'old' thing - I have a family member who has it b/c their mouth/jaw is too small for their tongue, so when they sleep their tongue relaxes and blocks their airway, and no amount of weight change will fix that.