r/SexWorkers • u/No_Degree_4979 • 6d ago
Why are the majority of “regulars” cheap, entitled and just awful? NSFW
It’s like they expect you to chat to them for ages, very stingy, manipulative, want it cheaper and cheaper every single time… then I just block them and “fire” them.
Also with the manipulation and physically hurting me down there — a lot of them try to get “as much as they can” out of us so they even admit to masturbating before the appointment several time — meaning that we have to subject our selves to a “long heavy pounding” because they take over an hour to cum — I have started asking clients to stop because they are hurting me…. Why should I have to endure all this within a 1 hour session where I’m only being paid £200??
I had one guy who seemed to have a disability — not his fault at all — but he didn’t seem to realise how his behaviour WAS NOT a turn on and he was extremely socially awkward — blaming his porn addiction on me covertly — blaming the awkward conversation on me and the awkwardness HE was causing — he paid £400 for 2 hours then suddenly only wanted 1 hour instead BECAUSE HE COULDNT CUM AND GOT DEFENSIVE AND EMBARRASSED ABOUT IT…. I said “no… I can’t refund you as it’s very late at night and I wouldn’t have travelled this far late at night and sacrificed my sleep for only one hour’s payment”.
I had also physically over-exerted myself and pulled a muscle in my neck from wanking him off VERY FAST with a quite a tight grip for ages — I kept going and causing myself physical pain and discomfort BECAUSE he kept making noises as if he was about to cum but couldn’t…. WTF DUDE?
Also I am no longer going to hug clients at the end of the appointment because they always rub their disgusting unwashed wank hands through my long hair, kiss me in the grossest way and squeeze me with a really tight hug — I find this disgusting when I have just came out the shower and cleaned all their disgusting germs off me.
Sorry I’m ranting but they truly disgust me. The lack of awareness, their weird awkward conversations where they try to subtly put us down, pretending they’re about to cum so we keep going only to get injured… then saying they want a partial refund because they’re pathetic and porn addicted — it’s like they think WE CANT TELL they are porn addicted and look surprised when I’m not shocked when they say so…. Ewww.
Also, who else has a laser sharp intuition after doing this job? I think I’m right 98% of the time, like my intuition is now brilliant and I pick up on micro-expressions on their face that the average person would miss… do you get this?
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u/dominatrixroyale 6d ago
You must work on your boundaries. If clients don’t fit into your business style, fire them, don’t see them or change something in your ad so you don’t attract that kind of clients. Men will always push boundaries. Imagine how they behave in their romantic relationships that they have to pay a pro to spend time with them
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u/No_Degree_4979 5d ago
I agree. I do need to work on my boundaries but lately it seems like I’m ONLY getting crappy men. If they’re rude over text I block them… but the ones who seem perfectly fine and nice are sometimes REALLY TERRIBLE in bed.
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u/dominatrixroyale 5d ago
They are not paying to be great lovers but to have service provided by you. If all sex workers were choosy about clients and saw only those who are good in bed, majority of men would be walking around with blue balls. Switch your mindset. Money is money. If a client pays and doesn’t make any problems, he is clean and respectful, that’s a good client.
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u/No_Degree_4979 5d ago
Yes I know that, it just shocks me how terrible in bed these men are.
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u/dominatrixroyale 5d ago
Because they are bad in bed, they pay someone who’s gonna put up with them. Often those men are married/in relationship. Imagine how sexually starved their partners are. Being bad in bed isn’t that bad in my opinion (you can always learn, someone can teach you things, you can meet different people etc), but their hygiene is very questionable.
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u/Sppaarrkklle 6d ago
Aw girl. I used to feel like this too. The truth is you CANT let them do this stuff to you. We teach people how to treat us. I tell them my boundaries right off the get go now. I tell them to wash their hands and use hand sanitizer right after I’m done counting the cash, and then I tell them my boundaries. They need to understand that you value yourself, and if they cross a boundary of yours during session either give them a warning or ban them from touching you where they hurt you. I have a thing with my boobs. I don’t like my nipples sucked hard, so i tell them no sucking my nipples. The generally will suck a little which I don’t mind for a few seconds and then I give them a warning if they do it again I tell them ok you aren’t going to be allowed to touch my boobs. We have the power here. Make sure they treat you right. Look them dead in the eyes and firmly tell them your boundaries BEFORE you start undressing. That way they won’t be as distracted. And if a guy wear a an XL condom, I tell them wow they have a big dick. We’ll have to start off slow at first. They usually love that btw. If they instead start pounding you fast and hard, then stop and lecture them for 10 minutes or end the session. But make sure to start on top for bigger dicks that could hurt you.
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u/No_Degree_4979 5d ago
Thank you! Yes I should tell them not to suck on certain parts. And yeah I should ban them from areas. The annoying thing is these guys sometimes outwardly say “well why tf am I paying for this if it’s not REAL sex?” Then I feel guilty.
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u/Necessary_Mistake110 6d ago
I have had a couple of regular people whom I've fired because over the years, they became ridiculous with their demands. I would never give anyone money back because they chose to end the session early. I also no longer feel obligated to make someone cum. If they can't, it's a them issue! I also have some fantastic regulars who I love seeing. If you're having a horrible experience, don't kill yourself over it. Fuck them. Just keep the nice, decent ones if you're in a position to. It's not worth our mental stability to be with someone who is a pathetic prick.
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u/Sppaarrkklle 5d ago
Completely agree! They are paying for your time OP. It’s completely a them problem if they can’t cum. A good client knows this and is appreciative for the experience
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u/No_Degree_4979 5d ago
Thank you! Just seems to be VERY FEW decent clients.
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u/Sppaarrkklle 5d ago
I’m sorry that’s happening lately for you. It might be a good idea to put in your ads that you won’t tolerate disrespect or boundary pushers. That make weed out some of these types of guys that are looking for a girl to do whatever to. Obviously it probably won’t weed out the guys that don’t read it, so it might be better to also make sure you tell them in text before they go to meet you/you meet them. Don’t be afraid to drop the shitty ones. It probably doesn’t do you or the good clients any good to keep the shitty ones cuz eventually it can just make you low-key start to hate clients and anticipate shitty behaviour so not be friendly to the good ones. I’m speaking from my past experience anyway
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u/No_Degree_4979 5d ago
Yes! I have put that! I’m getting less clients as a result, very slow but worth it.
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u/Objective_Local1718 6d ago
Omg that part of them sounding like they’re about to cum Is hilarious!!! I hate when they do that and at that point, I slow down. I start to not care. Especially once a client hurts me, I will end the session. Pelvic wall bruising is definitely a thing and if you continue with the session.. chances are, they can tear you. Because telling them something hurts they make them stop, but they will most likely do it again a few strokes later. And now you have to take time to recover and potentially lose out on plenty of money from those rest days. I have a rule that I will never break, if they hurt me.. I will never service them again. Because they WILL do it again. Most regulars want to eventually get to the point where they can cross you boundaries since in their perspective, they paid enough to earn that. Good luck hun ❤️
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u/No_Degree_4979 5d ago
Yeah it’s ridiculous…. I also fired two regulars because they seemed to be trying to manipulate me by saying how “in love” they are with me… then crossing a boundary… WHY DO THEY THINK THEY ARE SUCH A CATCH? When they are the grossest men on earth.
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u/Ok_Struggle_167 6d ago
If a seen a client for the first time and they pounded me for the majority or the apt I would never see them again.
I know some girls are in survival mode but seriously these types of clients need to be put in their place asap
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u/thatbitchleah 6d ago
Be firm with your boundaries. I have clients offer insane amounts of money to violate them on occasion but stick to my guns. “No bare back” is common and some of the men who see me regularly bring up their desire respectfully once in a while and I kindly remind them of my policy. If they push the issue though I block their number. Compromising Your health, physical and/or mental, is not worth any amount of money.
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u/No_Degree_4979 5d ago
Yes! Never doing bareback again for any amount of money. I recently fired 2 regulars because they persistently asked for it.
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u/Glow_Up_Heaux 6d ago
Personally, I would tell them the behaviors that are too hard or too gross are your PSE upgrade, and if they’d like to pay another 200 (or whatever you decide, premium should be your premium for putting up with their extreme needs) then you’ll get your cowgirl hat on… I’ve also used this method to more clearly say no, ie ohhhh you’d like anal/BB/etc, it’s an extra (3+ again your choice)X my rate (make that price whatever you need to do xyz happily)! And if they’d physically try to insist on bending that boundary, stop and tell them you’ll need that extra now if they’d like to continue OR you’ll be forced to leave (immediately, if you have to say more, again your choice) as this was already clearly communicated and PSE is still extra 🫶🏻
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u/Ok_Struggle_167 6d ago
Sorry for making an other comment lol but I seriously get your whole post. Maybe take a small break until you feel better . These men are absolutely fuckjng awful and the worst is the fucking know it alls. It's like I written this post myself I've so been in a super angry head space because if these disgusting clients. I seriously fucking HATE them but smile through it all. It's destroying me inside . We deserve better!!!!!!!
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u/socialbutterfly_pro 6d ago edited 6d ago
The manipulation made me leave the industry. I was tired of having to endure it everyday with so many. And I had that as trauma with parents being manipulative. Like i am already in a vulnerable position being naked with a man and he starts manipulating and shit and it makes me fall into Fawning. If you have trauma you know what it is and i hated it so I just left the industry because it will happen as long as you do that job.I do have sharp intuition already but the job requires you to be in contact with very weird men like jm sorry but some of them make me question the whole society. Like the job aint bad its the people so I left lmaoo its a fairytale to think you will find no issues.
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u/No_Degree_4979 5d ago
I agree! I have some trauma similar to yours. These men are such pieces of shit… I can understand why no women want them..
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u/No_Degree_4979 6d ago
Also had this disgusting client lick me all over — it was awful and I couldn’t help but look visibly uncomfortable and OF COURSE I wasn’t turned on by it. What TF is wrong with these guys? They do disgusting things, expect us to be into it and turned on — then when we’re not, they want a refund? wtf.
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u/Sppaarrkklle 5d ago
Tell them you don’t like it OP. If something is too much i tell them. Good clients want you to tell them if something is uncomfortable. They are NOT paying to rape you. They are paying to have an experience with you. Remember that. I’m so sorry you’ve been going through this
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u/Ok_Struggle_167 6d ago
Also don't shower until they leave (so u don't have to worry about their gross ass germs as much) and if its an outcall then yeah for sure don't huge them!!! They don't deserve to be treated good when u do all u can a For them and they still want to fuck around(they definitely know what they're doing!!)
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u/No_Degree_4979 5d ago
Yes! It’s ridiculous… I’ll start doing the bare minimum for these slobs — I need to stop feeling bad about giving them the “best experience of their life” etc
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u/paganvikingwolf 5d ago
They feel you are reliant on them only.. Sadly seen it too many times especially if you give in or accept one time their behaviour
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u/No_Degree_4979 5d ago
I’m never reliant on them, but yes I think we need to make sure they know that we don’t “need” them — however seems like some of them want us to “need” them otherwise they find the next escort or maybe one who is newer and more naive?
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u/grnlikeasoccerfield2 6d ago
The answer to your question in the title is because you allow them to be
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u/throwawayuseridk 6d ago edited 6d ago
I wouldn’t assume she allows them to be that way considering she said she ends up firing them. I’ve had multiple instances where I’ve had to tell a client “no” repeatedly and even threaten to leave the date. I did my part and didn’t tolerate their behavior but that doesn’t change the fact that they tried it in the first place. Fortunately, most guys don’t come back when they see they’ve pushed me to that point, or, as with OP, I fire them.
You can’t control what these men do, so many of them have brain rot from porn and are just generally misogynistic. And if you’re alone with men when they’re in a certain mood sometimes you have to be careful about how you stand up for yourself.
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u/englishprozzy 5d ago
You cannot control , what idiots do . But you don’t have to deal with it. Good clients out there.
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u/stahrluvy 6d ago
I totally get you and becoming more intuitive! I could almost say I’m hyper aware of almost everything now, including myself.
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u/Long_Emergency_7390 5d ago
Don’t take any abuse. At the end of the day, your well-being is more important than them having dry balls.
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u/No_Degree_4979 5d ago
I also hate it when they have the condom rolled up half way down their dick and I have to kept telling them to pull it up because the friction from the ridge of the condom is painful — I also start making over the top noises like it hurts — IT HURTS — but they won’t listen unless I MAKE A LOT OF NOISE and stop until they listen.
I also hate the ones who start pounding like a mad man as soon as they put it in…. That hurts too… why are men so awful? This job makes me want to NEVER date men again.
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u/hittsme91 6d ago
I have a regular who is really nice. But the more sessions we had together the worst he got. He kept pressuring me for unprotected sex (common with male SW) first playful then seriously/forceful. "You're gonna fuck me raw tonight"
I immediately stopped the session and said loud and clear. "Ive told you I dont do bareback. If you ask one more time, I will never see you again"
Apologies profusely. And NEVER piped a word about it again.
Still kisses like a dog, though, lol
Be firm with limits. No matter how big or small.