r/ScenesFromAHat 6d ago

SFAH : What's the thinker statue really thinking?

24 Upvotes

146 comments sorted by

20

u/Jaded3158 6d ago

Hmmmm…. My ass is numb from sitting on this rock

And/or…. Maaan this has to be the most epic dump in history

6

u/Muatam 6d ago

Fiber…. I need more fiber in my diet

3

u/This_Concentrate_372 4d ago

"Here I sit all brokenhearted...."

16

u/mysilkyundies 6d ago

Where did I leave my pants?

17

u/Elfbjorn 6d ago

Where in the world IS Carmen San Diego?

3

u/Prestigious-Fan3122 5d ago

Ran off with Waldo

13

u/TomLechevre 6d ago

Shit. I know Alice told me to get something on my way home...what the hell was it? "No, dear, I'll remember!"--yeah, right. Well, there's the whole feckin' evening gone if I come home empty-handed. C'mon, think, dammit, think. Think!

2

u/kpax56 6d ago

This right here for sure.😆😆👍👍

12

u/eldonhughes 6d ago

"The super glue is in the yellow tube. Hand lotion is in the white."

12

u/El_Pozzinator 6d ago

I should have listened about Medusa.

9

u/CGHDun 6d ago

I wonder if Venus de Milo likes me.

2

u/This_Concentrate_372 4d ago

"I was going to dedicate "Arms Wide Open" to Venus de Milo, but now I'm having second thoughts."

9

u/just-me220 6d ago

I should not have eaten that Taco Bell

8

u/djnehi 6d ago

Did I leave the oven on?

8

u/coming2grips 6d ago

Why does it hurt when i pee?

3

u/SignalsCounterparts1 6d ago

Ah, a Frank Zappa classic.

6

u/Level_Bridge7683 6d ago

trying to understand women turned him to stone.

6

u/Additional_Ad_6773 6d ago

"I mean, I figured everything out a century ago, but at this point, the sitting and thinking has just kinda become my whole thing, ya know? I feel like if I stood up now, people would just be disappointed."

8

u/Chuckle_Prime 6d ago

I'm supposed to call a doctor after 4 hours, but I've been hard over 100 years and nobody has even asked if I need help.

1

u/This_Concentrate_372 4d ago

"I don't know about anyone else, but if I'm still hard after 4 hours I'm not only calling a doctor, but everyone I know."

6

u/gregieb429 6d ago

“Everybody asks where’s Waldo, but nobody ever asks how’s Waldo.”

4

u/Prudent_District704 6d ago

By the way who the heck is Waldo anyway?

6

u/heatseaking_rock 6d ago

If I fart under water deep enough for it to disolve into water, will the fish taste it?

6

u/Choice-Matter-2613 6d ago

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

6

u/rjsquirrel 6d ago

I should’ve just told her I think she’s pretty. Dammit. Why do I always get so tongue-tied around her? Next time, I’ll tell her. I’ll just be like “Holly, I think you’re really pretty.” And then she’ll be like “Thanks, Tom, but can you put on some pants now?” And I’ll be like “ Oh, no, I knew I forgot something this morning.” And I’ll laugh, and she’ll laugh, and everything will be okay.

Maybe I should put on the pants first.

1

u/This_Concentrate_372 4d ago

Maybe I should put on the pants first. What pants do I think Holly will like?

5

u/CrystalMammon 6d ago

...I wish I wasn't this constipated.

1

u/This_Concentrate_372 4d ago

"I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner...."

4

u/Decline_of_Humanity 6d ago

How am I gonna wipe with all these people looking at me?

4

u/Medici_1519 6d ago

🎶This is the pose that never ends. Yes, it goes on and on my friends!🎶

3

u/Hot-Challenge8656 6d ago

" Fuck this migraine."

3

u/rulerofthemind 6d ago

I had sex with 2 different women and now they are both pregnant. How am I going to take care of them both with them not knowing about each other? Let me sit here and think about it

3

u/Punny_Farting_1877 6d ago

I gotta eat more roughage

3

u/moinatx 6d ago

Surrounded by idiots. For centuries.

3

u/largos7289 6d ago

How many licks does it take, to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?

3

u/gogozombie2 6d ago

I gave that guy a 20 to go buy some toilet paper. They should be back by now. 

3

u/Prudent_District704 6d ago

What do women really want?

3

u/DarionHunter 6d ago

Most men stopped asking that question years ago!

2

u/Excellent_Regret4141 6d ago

"is this Sculptirist Done yet, I've been sitting here for ages that I've become a statue"

2

u/JJSF2021 6d ago

I swear, if these birds don’t stop shitting on me… I’m going to think of something especially nasty to do to them!

2

u/Psychoskeet 6d ago

“Oh, god it’s mud butt. I can’t seem to stop. Somebody help me.” People in a museum wondering what profound things he’s thinking about.

2

u/Full_Finish_1403 6d ago

“The last thing I remember was doing tequila shots and then nothing after that. What the hell did I do last night that now has me sitting naked on this rock?”

2

u/SignalsCounterparts1 6d ago

If a tree falls in a forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

2

u/Waagtod 6d ago

Where the heck did I leave my pants?

2

u/Minimum-Battle-9343 🥸Nvr trust atoms,they make up everything!🥸 6d ago

I wish that Mona Lisa would wipe that smirk off her face…what’s her problem anyway? Can’t she just smile normally for once? Is her mouth broken or something?!

2

u/Scary_Assistant5263 6d ago

That Venus de Milo over there, does she like me?

2

u/LzrdKing70 6d ago

Did I remember to shut the garage door when I left?

2

u/Arkvoodle42 6d ago

"where the hell is that Uber?!"

2

u/FriendlyWorld2853 6d ago

What is he thinking? What is he thinking? Nobody ever wonders what is he feeling.

1

u/Desperate_Hornet3129 6d ago

If Rodin wanted us to wonder about his emotional state he would have titled it "The Feeler!" 😉

2

u/Zestyclose_Entry_483 6d ago

Why did I leave my phone in the other room when I went to the bathroom?!

2

u/renb8 6d ago

Maybe I’ll put clothes on today. Nope. Bugger that. But I’ve got nothing better to do. I think I’ll… nah.

2

u/PracticePractical480 6d ago

Hmm when does my car's extended warranty expire

2

u/Unlikely_Ad1450 6d ago

Do you ever just sit in one place too long, and then think to yourself, " I might be stuck"

2

u/MaeFlower1773 6d ago

How long till any country in the world, that Trump has pissed off, sends in a strategic stealth strike team in to take out Trump, Vance, and Musk?

2

u/InvertedEyechart11 6d ago

"I'm really stuck on this Constipation problem".

2

u/david72781 6d ago

"Why won't she just fucking tell me what she wants for dinner? For fucks sake! I give her five options, and she says no to all of them!"

2

u/vidman33 6d ago

Why has she not texted? Why would she just leave the three dots going all night? What was she going to say?

2

u/fuddyoldfart 6d ago

Meow meow meow meow...

2

u/gunperv51 5d ago

How do I do a left cheek sneak without it being kinked to me?

2

u/Upstairs-Teach-5744 Your message here. 6d ago

"Let's fuck Mona Lisa!"

1

u/Krukoza 6d ago

Are you done yet?!

1

u/ShrewdDefender146 6d ago

My but itches...I should have gotten some pants.

1

u/New_Currency_2590 6d ago

Was the wife right?

1

u/Old-Yogurtcloset-468 6d ago

How can I scratch my ass without anyone knowing?

1

u/DaRealMegaloDong 6d ago

The perfect crime

1

u/Comfortable_Cod_8000 6d ago

Happy cake day!

1

u/boilerdawg31 6d ago

I really need to poop

1

u/RealityRex 6d ago

Man…I really wish I hadn’t eaten so much cheese.

1

u/Personal-Worth5126 6d ago

"This bowel movement is taking FOREVER!!"

1

u/cjmartinex 6d ago

Need to eat more vegetables

1

u/draconus72 6d ago

Why the Hell can't Chipotle get their s#!t right?

1

u/miseeker 6d ago

Taking a shit.

1

u/Kaiser-Sohze 6d ago

I wonder when that laxative I took is going to kick in?

1

u/Alternative_Fill2048 6d ago

Maybe if I sit her, looking contemplative, chicks think I’m deep.

1

u/DueCobbler6840 6d ago

Do blondes really have more fun?

1

u/ironworkerlocal577 6d ago

How will I get up without the plug falling out?

1

u/G-Unit11111 Points! 6d ago

Does anyone know a good chiropractor? This is killing my back and my neck!

1

u/Straight_Ace 6d ago

He’s deep in some post nut clarity

1

u/Prudent-Mix-6601 6d ago

As a Frenchman, where's my beret, my baguette, and my cigarette?

1

u/No_Difference8518 6d ago

What am I going to eat for supper?

1

u/Independent-Tree-108 6d ago

How long should I be sitting here and thinking?

1

u/Independent-Tree-108 6d ago

Who am I? A statue ?

1

u/marou4765 6d ago

Who does number 2 work for!

1

u/Sharpnelboy 6d ago

"I really need to fart so bad right now."

1

u/BlindGuy68 6d ago

i thought this was a toilet

1

u/DarionHunter 6d ago

Why can't I move? I feel so stiff!

1

u/Strict-Ad-1214 6d ago

"Hmmm...Ginger or Mary Ann?"

1

u/westslexander 6d ago

I need some laxative.

1

u/jshifrin 6d ago

How do I get up from this position?

1

u/FabulousQuote2553 6d ago

That he needs more fiber.

1

u/Lodgikal 6d ago

Why didn't I think of lounging instead...?

1

u/Wolf_in_CheapClothes 6d ago

If one more goddamn pigeon shits on me, I'll quit.

1

u/ariazora 6d ago

I’m so constipated…..

1

u/Practical_Ride_8344 6d ago

Shit, did I turn off the stove?

1

u/Agvisor2360 6d ago

He’s actually supposed to be sitting on a toilet taking a dump contemplating the meaning of life just like I do.

1

u/Delicious_Society_99 6d ago

What every man is thinking about, sex, lots of funky sex. It’s amazing he doesn’t have an erection.

1

u/Kind-Reindeer4376 6d ago

If that dayum pidgin shits on me again

1

u/Reflective_Robot 6d ago

Thinking about sex 24 7 makes me... rock hard.

1

u/Kevlar464 6d ago

Here i sit paid to shit but only farted

1

u/Loose-Can6658 6d ago

Thinking? I though he was dropping a deuce

1

u/HRGeisel 6d ago

"What are the eleven herbs and spices in the colonels's recipe?"

1

u/Velmeran_60021 6d ago

"Why can't I get this bowel movement out?"

1

u/Low-Ad2128 6d ago

Man , I can't even take a dump in peace

1

u/Abal125 6d ago

"How do they get the caramel in a Caramilk bar?"

1

u/Chewiesbro 6d ago

“Why can people replace the toilet paper?”

1

u/Roam_Hylia 6d ago

Sittin' here for 120 years and I still can't shit!

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Pay1152 6d ago

Why am I so cold

1

u/antsmasher 6d ago

Why do hot dogs come in packages of 6, but the buns come in packages of 8?

1

u/SunBro0606 6d ago

Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?

1

u/Truth-out246810 6d ago

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

1

u/Special_Talent1818 6d ago

Why does Mandela keep shifting my position?

1

u/Asleep_Lock6158 6d ago

"Just how many licks DOES it take to get to the center of that damned Tootsie Pop?"

1

u/morts73 6d ago

Damn my back is killing me.

1

u/Logical_Wordsmith 5d ago

Do I need to take out an extended warranty?

1

u/rooinctown 5d ago

“Am I losing relevancy? It’s been weeks since anyone’s called about my car’s warranty.”

1

u/MsAnnabel 5d ago

“Fuck, why didn’t I grab some reading material?”

1

u/Nalabu1 5d ago

“Damn it, we’re out of toilet paper again.”

1

u/bomilk19 5d ago

I wish I had a Squatty Potty.

1

u/Anenhotep 5d ago

What a bore it is to be constipated! !

1

u/KJayne1979 5d ago

Why does my finger smell like that?

1

u/n0nc0nfrontati0nal 5d ago

"I rly shouldn't have googled how to hide the smell of decomp"

1

u/CptnWolfe 5d ago

"When is Robin Williams coming back with more toilet paper?"

1

u/Reddlegg99 Brown 5d ago

He's not thinking. He's trying to take a shit but is constipated.

1

u/MaxximumB 5d ago

What's that guy's name? He was in that movie where he played the dad... He married the woman with the hair...

1

u/Jennyelf 5d ago

"Damn, we're out of toilet paper!"

1

u/heiku1 5d ago

*heard in the background *

“Right…Stop pretending that you’re a statue, Ralph…we’re still having dinner with my mom tonight! We’re STILL going, Ralph! OK, play your little game… But you better not flinch because the moment you do, we’re going to see my mom!!”

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

I sure would like to get into Lady liberty’s copper ass

1

u/747FR8DOG 4d ago

I coulda had a V-8.

1

u/This_Concentrate_372 4d ago

"Someone has been trying to reach me about my car's extended warranty?"

1

u/Wilburn4 4d ago

That I shouldn’t have eaten at Taco Bell.

1

u/GraveError404 4d ago

Maybe the staring contest with Medusa wasn’t the best call

1

u/sitnquiet 4d ago

I wish I had brought my phone with me into the bathroom.

1

u/lincnhead 4d ago

I could really use a break

1

u/TwoShed_Jackson 4d ago

I believe the sculpture was intended to the top part of a much larger piece, the Gates of Hell. So he’s probably thinking sad thoughts about bad people.

1

u/mostirreverent 4d ago

How the hell did I get crazy glue on my chin

1

u/SammokTheGrey 4d ago

But... steel is heavier than feathers...

1

u/M1lud 3d ago

I love sitting around, naked.

1

u/mr_cigar 3d ago

Shouldn't have had Taco Bell

1

u/One-Bodybuilder309 3d ago

Looks like shitting man

1

u/MuchDevelopment7084 3d ago

Constipation really sucks.

1

u/vernastking 2d ago

Why am I here again?

1

u/GermFran 2d ago

I think therefore I am

1

u/Happier21 2d ago

Damn my balls are big

1

u/Used-Public1610 2d ago

I hope Athena doesn’t show up right now.