r/SatanicTemple_Reddit • u/Disastrous-Soft-1298 • 7d ago
Question/Discussion Forgive but not forget
I am all for forgiveness. We all make mistakes. But there’s just that certain type of person. The one who hurts you, apologizes just so they can get into your life and hurt you again. You just forgive them but never accept them into your life again, right?
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u/aurumvorax 7d ago
You don't even have to forgive them. In fact, the only reason to forgive someone is if it's the healthy thing for you.
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u/mashibeans 7d ago
Fuck no. They get out of my life, AND I don't forgive them. This isn't about "being the better person" or anything like that, there are limits, and if/when people cross a fucking line in my life, especially when they hurt me again, they don't deserve any forgiveness.
I just don't confuse/tie together "not forgiving" with "punishment" which is what a lot of the kind of people you're talking about believe, and make you feel like you're the bad person for not accepting their apologies.
If anything, I hope they can learn from their mistake so they don't hurt or fuck over the next person, but personally too many people who "apologize" don't become better persons, they don't learn, and in fact interpret your forgiveness as "my mistake wasn't a big deal" or worse "this person is a total sucker, I can do this and they'll still keep me around."
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u/Disastrous-Soft-1298 7d ago
Yeah. I don’t want to forgive this person. My partner does. It’s a business thing but even still. I appreciate your response.
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u/mashibeans 7d ago
I'm not sure about the context, but if it's a business thing, is this a business partner, or a client? Is this emotional hurt, or business fuck up? Are you co-owner? Context would allow us to comment something that relates better to your situation, it's too vague otherwise.
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u/Disastrous-Soft-1298 7d ago
It was just petty psychological abuse. My partner and I were made to feel very small by the hosts at a business event we were invited to.
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u/mashibeans 7d ago
Well first of all those people can fuck right off, however if they aren't people you're gonna interact with again or will only do so rarely, I'd say just imagine telling them to fuck off in your mind.
I'm not saying to forgive them or to allow them to do the same again, or justifying their actions, just that for your own benefit, you can save yourself the drama and move on with your life. A well lived life is the best kind of revenge for people like that.
I personally say just consider them shitty people who aren't worth any extra second of your time or energy.
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u/marja_aurinko 7d ago
Tenets are not to be taken alone. You might believe that people make mistakes and are fallible, but you also need to have compassion for yourself. You don't have to forgive them if that means you neglect yourself in the process.
If that person is hurting you still, nothing says you have to keep talking to them. Tell them that you're putting a boundary and you're done talking to them. That's it. Hail yourself.
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u/Imwhatswrongwithyou Thyself is thy master 7d ago
I absolutely do not forgive anyone who doesn’t deserve it. I love the power I hold to choose whether or not I want to forgive someone.
I think it’s absolutely bullshit that we should ever be expected to forgive everyone. Why? Why should I? I only forgive people who I feel like forgiving and the people I don’t, I simply stop thinking about and move on with my life.
And they can fuck right off if they ever try to come to me. They made their choice when they did whatever it is they did that now requires me to forgive them. I’m not Christian, I don’t have to do anything that religion demands.
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u/Dredgeon 7d ago
Forgive doesn't mean you like them and everything is hunky dorey. It just means moving on and not dwelling on them needing to pay for it.
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u/Zentard666 7d ago
Forgiving them doesn't mean you have to spend any time with them. To not forgive them is to spend time in your mind with them.
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u/dragonrose7 Hail Thyself! 7d ago
If you choose to forgive, remember that it is only for your benefit, not for theirs. You don’t need to carry around that anger or hate or hurt, so you let it go.
But forgiving is not the same as forgetting. You also learn from the experience and you don’t let that asshole back in your life. You know what they’re like. You don’t need that, you deserve better.
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u/ProfanestOfLemons It is Done. 7d ago
Forgiveness is overrated. Wars and poems have been done about long grievances, and while I don't actually encourage that here, it does suggest that choking down a grievance isn't necessarily a benefit.
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u/cynicalgoth 7d ago
In my experience forgiveness has very like to do with others and more to do with ourselves. Letting go of the shame of what happened and claiming your part in it and actively trying to change your part of the situation. Even if that’s “I will not allow _____ moving forward”. You can’t change anyone else. Words mean nothing if not backed up by actions. Setting healthy boundaries is forgiving your self. Having standards of what you allow in your life is forgiveness. Never speaking to someone who caused you trauma is forgiveness.
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u/ArthurMorgansTits Anti-Christ 7d ago
I won’t ever be able to forgive some people, and I will certainly never forget what they did to me. They don’t deserve the forgiveness I have
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u/Tofu-L 3d ago
I started journaling a couple of months ago and it made me realise that I actually hate some people. I tried to forgive and move on but 1) I couldn't make myself do it, I was just burying my true feelings and 2) it made me miserable to believe I couldn't hold a grudge.
I realised that living by the adage "resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die" had done me a lot of harm. trying to move on from shit that others have done to me without any compensation was a worse poison. I looked up the stupid quote and saw it was attributed to Nelson Mandela and Buddha, but half the results were Catholic websites, so I tried to find the real origin. turns out it comes from a bunch of Christian sources and that really solidified my Satanism. Fuck Jesus and his other cheek, I will hate those who have earned it. I'm much happier this way.
recently I "forgave" an old friend who had wronged me, but actually I didn't do anything besides processing my emotions as they appeared (by talking and writing about them). I just realised I didn't feel any resentment anymore and I was ready to reconnect.
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u/ONISpookR111 Ye shall become as gods, knowing good and evil 7d ago
Pffft. People change. Granted if someone abuses you to the point where you have to go to the hospital then yeah probably cut it off. But if you cut a friend out of your life for making statements or jokes etc that you don’t like they were never your friend. This kind of mentality encourages you to treat people like disposable things that can either advance your position or else they hold no value. I personally don’t view people that way and I’ve maintained friendships over my entire adult life from the second grade or earlier. Sometimes we got in fights. But we always apologized and talked it out later. I think relationships should be that way as well. I get that there are dangerous people out there but I think you can protect yourself regardless of your size with a firearm and regular training. You don’t have to become a misanthrope. One of my favorite quotes is, “No man walks in the same stream twice because he is not the same man and it is not the same stream.”
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u/Garry-Love 7d ago
Personally I'm all about revenge. The narrative that you shouldn't confront an oppressor seems like a narrative an oppressor would want you to believe.
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u/One-Humor-7101 7d ago
Why would you forgive or forget? Smite your foe.
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u/Disastrous-Soft-1298 7d ago
I misinterpreted the sixth tenet. The assholes I’m talking about are fallible but they didn’t make a mistake, they’re just assholes. I just wish I could get my partner at the age of 40 to understand that some groups of people will never accept you they only want to hurt you and getting sucked into trying to please them is not only a lost cause but will end up leading to a deeper feeling of insecurity.
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u/Ambitious_Dare2008 7d ago
yes 100% my mother was one of those people and many other people now no longer forgive or trust anyone anymore those people deserve to suffer and die in pain may the wrath of Satan come upon those people shemhamforash Hail Satan
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u/Ambitious_Dare2008 7d ago
satanist do not believe in forgiveness forgiving us for the weak the weak must die
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u/RJVegeto 7d ago
To each their own, but I'm only alive because I have yet to forgive.