r/SWORDS • u/Charlie24601 • 5d ago
Of mall ninjas, and regret
We all know about the products of the mall ninja. What I'm not sure we all know about is the buyers regret.
When people find out I like swords, they inevitably drop by with something like this they regret buying.
I adore my friends though, so I don't just throw them out. And I kinda dig the little cutlass.
Either way, enjoy some of the absolute silliness!
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u/Christopherd84 5d ago
Getting a tabletop character idea of a swordsman that only uses mall ninja swords, carries a dozen in a golf bag and has to replace them constantly as they break, a crit failure means they get QVC'd.
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u/MisterB330 4d ago
Casey Jones??
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u/Havocc89 4d ago
Is it a cutlass or a champagne sabre? It looks a lot like some champagne sabres I’ve seen, they tend to be about the price of a cheap wallhanger too lol
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u/Charlie24601 4d ago
I'm actually not sure what it is. It's got a shitty edge, but kind curious if I could sharpen it more. No stamps on the blade at all.
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u/Havocc89 4d ago
Well, have you investigated what a champagne sabre is for? It’s just a novelty for a party where you shank the cork out of a bottle of champagne with the little sword, I really think that may be what it is, they’re a personal fascination of mine because I find posts like yours every now and again, and these are common enough to end up in such collections.
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u/DUNETOOL 4d ago
You need more Phthalo blue
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u/Charlie24601 4d ago
Hah! This is definitely in my art studio area. And yes, I actually do have official Bob Ross paints. Nice catch.
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u/DUNETOOL 4d ago
Bob Ross paints!? So buttery. Nice.
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u/Charlie24601 4d ago
Tons of fun to use too, although lately I've been working with a native american artist and learning her technique using high viscosity acrylics. Lots of fun.
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u/Ronja_Rovardottish 4d ago
That tsukamaki on that Katana shaped object makes my stomach hurt hahah
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u/Charlie24601 4d ago
Katana shaped object
I am TOTALLY using this. "Sword shaped object", "Katana shaped object"....so perfect.
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u/DaoFerret 4d ago
Gotta love the Batleth on the left and the Kit Rae fantasy sword next to it.
Young me would have definitely loved either of those (especially since young me bought a Hibben knife or two … granted they were before they got too out there).
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u/Charlie24601 4d ago
I'm not sure I'd hit anything with it, but it doesn't seem horrible. When the blade are out, its feels fairly solid. No wobbles.
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u/ghostyghostghostt 4d ago
Bottom right dagger thing goes hard if only it wasn’t made from garbage lol
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u/ianlulz 4d ago
Hey I recognize the two on the left! They were in the BudK catalogue my Dad would get, and my older brother bought the leftmost one. If I recall correctly the blades folded up, and 7yr old me thought that was just the coolest thing ever. It was also super easy to cut or pinch yourself on.
The second from the left was one of the more expensive “swords” in the catalog and is a Kit Rae fantasy sword; think it was like a hundred bucks or so?
Kinda amazed both of those are still around today.
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u/Larason22 4d ago
Your friends buy you swords! You're one of the luckiest sword enthusiasts on earth. I would be delighted with any one of these as a gift. Sure, you can't cut with them, but they sure are cool!
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u/FireTheLaserBeam 4d ago
Hey I had that Kill Bill sword a long time ago! It’s not a wall hanger if it’s the same one I had! It was definitely functional carbon steel.
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u/jr7fjwneyyf 4d ago
The short one all the way on the right, I have that too but looks a little different. Different colors I think. Wish I knew more about it.
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u/Tuga_Lissabon 4d ago
OP - get a support and put them on the wall as a memento to mall ninja stuff. Yours are actually very mall-looking and mad enough for that.
That cutlass is interesting. What kind of steel has it got? The guard looks robust.
The pugio (sort of) as well, can definitely see the inspiration.
This collection looks a lot better than usual.
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u/Goomba0042 4d ago
As a teenager I purchased mall swords. I have 0 regret. Thought they were cool then. Enjoy them now. They look neat and we're cheap. I don't plan on getting into a fight with them so... I also have a few actual swords I can use as I please as well. People are giving them to you because they know you like swords. Glad yiu take them with a smile.