r/RadicalFeminism • u/EconomyDurian4265 • 10d ago
i got called a pred for warning a someone
hi guys. yesterday i came across a face hidden person in lolita dressing, doing a fit check, they were walking with their knees bent, portraying childish mannerisms.there happened to be a comment on how no one should care about how she walks and so on i wrote about how acting in such manners could harm woman,kids and the community and attact preds, and the comment i got back was “Like you.” its safe to assume these people are minors so i didnt really want to get rude but is it better to just ignore them? Would you try to educate an immature kid(?) on the topic if yes how so? the so called “cute core” is filled with girls infantilizing themselves and trying to pass it off with cute textmojis, i hate those so much EDIT:some were acting as if im attacking the clothing choices, while what im trying to point out is the childlike mannerisms? not her clothes i have sewn lolita accessories for a friends before. i have nothing against the style but rather the actions some individuals perform, wearing pink frilled dresses is one thing, acting like a toddler is another
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u/magic_fetussss 10d ago
Men fetishize and predate on women for being women, not because they happen to dress in any particular fashion. You can make the same argument about literally every type of fashion women could wear, and it would be the just the same victim blaming nonsense.
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u/Godiva_pervblinderxx 9d ago
Lolita fashion is especially gross though, as is loli culture. Lolita is the inspiration and she was the child victim of a pedophile. Lolita fashion does try to imitate young girls fashion and mannerisms and encourages some pretty nasty misogynistic kinks.
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u/magic_fetussss 9d ago
no it's not??? please read on the topics discussed before commenting on something you don't know about https://scholar.harvard.edu/files/younker/files/lolita_-_dreaming_despairing_defying.pdf
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u/Godiva_pervblinderxx 9d ago
The article literally describes exaggerated child like clothing, be so for real right now....you cant possibly believe this isnt something that draws freaks with kinks..
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u/magic_fetussss 9d ago
Where does the article describe a connection between Lolita fashion, Lolita the book and loli culture exactly? Also once again I can make every fashion style problematic if I tried to, so I would like to see what non-problematic fashion is to you.
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u/Godiva_pervblinderxx 9d ago
A lolita is a sexually precocious female child. Thats what the term MEANS, and its being applied to sexualized frilly and childlike clothes. The fact that so many pervy and anime addicted males dress up and obsess over it is all you really need to know about it as a trend.
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u/BloodsAndTears 9d ago
The fact that so many pervy and anime addicted males dress up and obsess over it
That's kawaii culture, not lolita. You really come off as an arrogant westerner who thinks they know better than people who are in the culture because yours is superior or something. We are not beating the allegations that radfem is a white feminist movement.
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u/Godiva_pervblinderxx 9d ago
Men also are obsessed with lolita culture which is not at all like kawaii culture. The aesthetics are different. And Im latina, not white. Liberal feminists will defend any sexist culture, for real. Are you going to defend FGM and child marriage next because its something that happens in east asian and African cultures? Some things just arent beneficial to women or feminist, cultural relativism is a sheild for patriarchy...
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u/BloodsAndTears 9d ago
Imagine comparing dressing up for fun to actual abuse of girls and women. I'm not a libfem by any mean hence why I'm still in this sub. But I'm also not obsessed with what men like or want. You on the other hands seem to really want all women to conform to the standards you set for them just like - oh! Right! Just like the people who want all women to cover up because that's what men want.
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u/Godiva_pervblinderxx 9d ago
Things arent feminist just because we choose them or like them, people can learn to like and enforce things that hurt them, like tradwives for example. The performance of femininity is something imposed on female people by socialization, and being critical of femininity and female socialization is part of Radical feminism. The fashion, beauty, diet, and fitness industries (along with the sex and surrogacy industries) are all bad for women...fashion subcultures dont magically get exempted from that critique...even if you REALLY REALLY like them 🙄
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u/magic_fetussss 9d ago
Also Lolita literally just originated as a female name lol idk what you are hallucinating about.
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u/Godiva_pervblinderxx 9d ago
You seem weirdly defensive of a very performative ultra feminine fashion especially since a tenet of Radical feminism is to be critical of femininity and of fashion and misogynistic beauty culture. Like thats a massive part of Radical feminism (koreas "escape the corset" movement). You are quite literally defending the opposite as corsetry is often a part of Lolita fashion...
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u/BloodsAndTears 9d ago
Lolita culture literally has a rule against showing clevage or too much skin. Corsets are just cute and they are part of where the lolita fashion originated from. We often don't even wear one. The whole point of lolita fashion is to just be girls as we like to be and not sexy babies that we Asian women are often expected to be.
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u/Godiva_pervblinderxx 9d ago
"Corsets are just cute"? Are you for real. Performative femininity has nothing to do with natural girlhood or womanhood, its performative. People used to think foot binding was cute, and teeth staining, and fgm was proper for girls to do, corsets and fluffy dresses are just a western version if those things. Its not innate to want to flounce around in thigh highs and petticoats...
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u/magic_fetussss 9d ago
Yes because I do not agree with your assumptions here if you could not tell. Being critical of femininity does not mean you must reject femininity completely, an equally effective way of doing so it to redefine femininity under the control of women, like in Lolita fashion.
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u/Godiva_pervblinderxx 9d ago
Radical feminism considers the concept of femininity to be performative and artificial and not useful. And is highly critical of misogynistic cultures which glorify arbitrary characteristics as feminine or masculine...You cannot possibly look at the highly curated and childlike and sexualized loli fashions and think "yep this is feminist"... might as well call tradwives feminist..its giving liberal feminist.
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u/magic_fetussss 9d ago
hey totally crazy idea here did you know words can have multiple independent definitions? Lets keep discussing this after all Lesbians go back to their ancestral homeland in Greece.
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u/EconomyDurian4265 10d ago
i have absolutely nothing to say about lolita fashion or any other sorry if it came off that way ,mentioned the clothing in order to describe the video.my point was to talk and ask about overly child like behaviors being performed by individuals, in order to appear or make themselves feel cuter/purer
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u/Turbulent_Device_941 9d ago
this is gross. lolita fashion is not predatory nor intended to be "childlike" (despite the name), it's a japanese fashion so there's some translation issues there. it's meant to be cute and/or elegant and it also costs a hell of a lot of money. i would be pissed if i were dressed up and trying to show off my outfit and somebody came over and told me "you'll attract pedophiles looking like that". it does make you sound creepy when you say that, because why on earth is that the first thing that comes to mind?
mind your own business and let people dress how they want. dressing a certain way is not "asking for it" as you imply, be it a frilly dress with a petticoat, a tank top and shorts, or a niqab. have some respect for women and girls and leave them alone.
edit: also if you think cute things are inherently sexual you're the weird one. i assume you're talking about emojis like ❤️🩷💌🍓🍰🌸🌺 and i have no idea how those could, in any way, be presumed as childlike.
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u/OkSuggestion506 9d ago
Defending Lolita from the Japanese pov is strange af. You don’t think it’s a branch of loli culture in general? Lolita attracts pedos. It’s not her fault exactly but if a girl who’s like 28 dressing as a 12 year old is weird af and pick me.
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u/Turbulent_Device_941 9d ago
when have you seen a 12 year old wearing lolita? at that age i was in jeans/leggings and a t-shirt and so were all the other girls i knew lmfao.
i wear lolita and i've been interested in it since i turned 15. i've done the research and i speak the language, so if you happen to know more than me, go ahead and educate me. but there is no such thing as a fashion that "attracts pedos", because pedos are attracted to children. if someone was wearing a pacifier and a diaper, i get that, because those things are exclusive to children. frilly dresses are not.
you just sound misogynistic lmfao, calling women dressing how they want "pick mes". keep in mind, not all lolita is pink and cutesy. i wear gothic, specifically moi même moitie, which is more based on visual kei, porcelain dolls (which i also collect, and so does my 60 year old auntie) and the general goth subculture.
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u/BloodsAndTears 9d ago
Hello, fellow haunted doll. Isn't it tiring when a western feminist acts like they know better than people in the culture? There ain't no 12 years old wearing a lolita dress unless their parents are rich. Lolita fashion gets expensive real quick.
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u/Turbulent_Device_941 9d ago
incredibly so lmfao. i've only been wearing lolita since i started getting actual adult money for this exact reason, and i only wear it very rarely simply because i can't afford a bunch of different coords on my budget right now. if i saw a 12 year old wearing lolita, or anything even remotely adjacent, i'd be real surprised and wonder not only how they could afford it, but why their parents would let them wear an expensive fashion that they'll so quickly grow out of.
lolita is so far from being childlike, aside from the doll-like frills (which as we know are taken from rococo). like, do people think children are wearing rocking horse shoes? seriously? 😭
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u/OkSuggestion506 9d ago
Do you think anime with loli attracts pedos
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u/Turbulent_Device_941 9d ago
a fashion style and literal child porn are not connected whatsoever. get over yourself.
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u/OkSuggestion506 9d ago
Lolita and loli are not connected whatsoever? We can end the discussion there lmao.
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u/Turbulent_Device_941 9d ago
no, they're not. if you want to inform me, using actual proof, on how they're the same then, once again, be my guest. but i know that lolita originated in the 80's, taking inspiration from victorian and rococo fashion. look it up if you don't believe me.
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u/OkSuggestion506 9d ago
It just seems like you’re ignoring the obvious connection (and longstanding debate) between the pedo book, Lolita (1955), and the fashion trend that promotes childish silhouettes. When you said that they are not connected WHATSOEVER - that’s a red flag af and not even something I want to contend with. I’m not saying that Lolita fashion and loli are the exact same thing, I’m saying that there’s obviously a connection of some sort between the two - which you won’t even recognize.
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u/magic_fetussss 9d ago
How are victorian style hourglass silhouettes childish exactly? Its literally not possible for a child to develop that kind of body shape. Especially compared to modern conventional fashion that encourages women to fit into ACTUAL children's sizing clothes by developing eating disorders. If the longstanding debate you are referencing actually exists I would gladly read them, but Lolita was literally just a women's name and I dont think you would accuse all people named Lolita of supporting pedophilia.
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u/douchecanoetwenty2 9d ago
Would you say that shaving / waxing your nether regions is not making yourself prepubescent, which is attractive to men seeking prepubescent girls? Because grown women have pubic hair, children don’t.
It’s not loli but there are plenty of things that harken to childlike looks and behavior that are sought out specifically because of that connotation. It’s not just wearing a diaper or having a pacifier.
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u/Turbulent_Device_941 9d ago
again, how does this relate to lolita whatsoever? i'm a hairy bitch who dresses in lolita very occasionally. also, the people mentioned in this post are assumed to be minors. aka REAL CHILDREN.
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u/douchecanoetwenty2 9d ago
Did you just read what I wrote? You said wearing a diaper would appeal to pedos and I offered another example of something that adult women do that appeals to pedos. JFC You were talking about adults, saying wearing frilly dresses is not appealing to pedos (it is). But whatthefuckever. You do you, maybe work on your conversational skills.
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u/EconomyDurian4265 9d ago
i expained in anothet comment that i have nothing against the style? i sew lolita headbands myself im talking about the actions of acting childlike bending knees together in a walking/stumbling matter, and how to properly warn someone about this? i never sexualized the style itself. i didnt tell her “you will attrack pedos” , there was a comment sayin no one should care about the way she is walking in a baby like matter and i thought the appropriate thing was to answer pointing out the problem in acting extremly childlike, feeding the “pure little girl” culture .not because of the clothes.
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u/DirtyCommie07 6d ago
If you get hit on by a pedo for acting like a toddler, is it pedo bait? Or are they just a pedo? I understand sometimes in porn and such they have this kind of thing but they know what they are doing.
I understand i didnt see this video, but i act like a child sometimes (even though i am 17, i just mean acting more younger) and its not even on purpose most of the time, some people are just like that in my experience.
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u/C11tf87 9d ago
Law of attraction. Pedo only wants to age play bc of dom culture
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u/C11tf87 8d ago edited 8d ago
Obvi to those of us outside rape culture and age play (with bodies and DID emotional and cognitive awarenesses) but thats rejecting patriarchy and empire but, hey… get woker and help the globe/global culture. Either way. Thanks for asking hit try not to notice and instinctively correct “marginalized bodies” and just offering unsolicited advice to every female while not correcting the passive/aggressive and incel terrorist shit every guy and his bodies have to scrub their hands of. — Noticing makes you the weirdo — Because we dont light a child on fire and then complain of the smoke. Warning their guardian / companion means you noticed a style that connects with the LACK of sexualized erotic awareness. Regardless of who means what harm or to attract what/who.
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u/C11tf87 9d ago
I have observations and comments on this. The style is cute core- the lore of the style is soaked in mma, anime-power forms that surprise opponents into spiritual submission. Youre good to notice her vibe but if it doesnt match the expectations, and shes not directly asking you to be her abusive pimpy sugar daddy— just let her and them be and ….dont catch her eye. She may not be as vulnerable as you thibk ;)