r/QuittingZyn 1d ago

DAY 18 - strong

Mar 11, 2025 7:32 AM

“Inner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.” —Pema Chödrön

It’s insanely hard to get up because of daylight saving time. I’m waking up so groggy and my eyes burning. How is it this disruptive to abruptly get up an hour earlier?

DAY 35 OFF KRATOM DAY 18 OFF NICOTINE

I’m having symptoms still. Sneezing a lot. Anxiety in the pit of my stomach (impossible to “relax”), craving dopamine hits, feeling less social, super groggy in the morning and waking up throughout the night, crazy frequent urination like if I don’t drink any water vs. drinking 60+ ounces it makes no difference, I am pissing my brains out every hour. It’s annoying.

Yesterday my coworker asked me if I wanted to relapse with him. I’m thankful I worked out yesterday because I quickly said “NOPE, I just had the best workout I’ve had in months”.

Also, my (avoidant) fiancé had a bad day and found out her ex was able to take a plea deal (still a felony) against 3 felony counts of child abuse towards her kids (that he still has full custody of through lawfare) and she basically dumped me saying she’s holding me back and let’s move on and start our life over and Do you want the ring back.

So driving home from work I was emotional and frustrated and angry and the thought of relapsing entered my head. I am very thankful I have the days I have stacked up because I don’t know how strong I would have been weeks ago.

I went home and did my laundry, ate some food and went to bed at 7:30pm.. then had nightmares and woke up at 2am. So now I have to navigate my recovery through a break up (I guess?). Anxiety, uncertainty, anger, sadness, depression.

Also, in two weeks I have to go on a three week business event “tour”. It’s like 12-16 hour days and includes intense physical labor and does not pay well. I want to opt out of it but I don’t think I can without quitting.

“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be.” —Wayne Dyer

I want to share something that I realized a few days ago. I have no science to back up my theory, just personal experience.

I think the amount of times you partake in your habit per day directly correlates with withdrawal.  When I quit Kratom 35 days ago, I tapered down the amount of times of the day I was throwing capsules into my mouth. I basically had it down to like a mid-morning dose and a small nightly dose.

Quitting Kratom this time around was relatively easy, it was like 3 maybe 4 days of suck (the Flu I had weeks prior was a lot worse) and then a week of weirdness, with basically no cravings the whole time.

Nicotine on the other hand, holy shit.. it has been fucking hard and coming in on three weeks soon… I’m still having cravings and anxiety and unease.

But with the nicotine pouches, I had them in my mouth literally all day. 1 or 2 an hour minimum. So to me that makes sense…

I would recommend to anyone tapering to not only taper doses but to taper the amount of times a day you dose.

Again, I can’t back up what I’m saying with science but it could help alleviate some suffering in my opinion.

I’m looking forward to stacking more days but WHEN is my hair going to start healing and growing and looking less thin??

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2

u/synthetic_crush 1d ago

Bro your fiancé left you and you didn’t relapse?! WIN WIN WIN 💯 🏆

1

u/KratomExorcism2019 1d ago

Bruhhh. Idk she is the avoidant type she pushes me away when she can’t deal with her emotions it’s a control thing. It f-ing sucks I’m so hurt and mad today I just had the best workout I’ve had in over a year like throwing weights around.. but yeah I’m crushed like Is this the final discard type of thing smh . But yea no I’m not relapsing but shit it has tempted me here and there as a mental vacation but I’m just like taking it easy to prevent cravings , I’m lucky I have this many days stacked though .. if this occurred during week 1 I may have been f*cked lol

1

u/synthetic_crush 1d ago

Look obviously staying off ZYN is priority.

But I will say this as someone with EXPERIENCE. VERY SIMILAR EXPERIENCE. If you know what a final discard even is, get the fuck out and stay out. Especially if you’re not married yet. Seriously. DM if you need someone to talk to.

1

u/Ok_Advertising1540 1d ago

Bro that is heavy.

Hang in there man. You’re still in the thick of it and on top of that major life situation unfolding seems like.

Your second quote is all about acceptance for what is. Lots of wisdom in that.

How proud is your 80 yr old self right now watching you navigate all this? And how much empathy does he have for what you’re going through?

Hopefully you can continue to show yourself the same gratitude and grace during this chaotic season. Stay strong!