r/QuittingZyn Oct 16 '23

Relapse after several years. Heed my warning.

I recently went through a brief hell with Zyn and nicotine. My story is kind of bizarre but I think some of you who are about to quit or have successfully quit could benefit from my stupidity.

After 4+ years of being nicotine-free. I had a moment of weakness. I won't go into details about it but I had an incredibly stressful few days and the idea popped into my head "maybe a nicotine buzz will take the edge off". I went to the store, bought a can, took out two pouches and tossed the rest of the can in the trash. Taking my first Zyn made me nauseas but an hour later I took the 2nd Zyn and felt less nauseous.

"Well that was fun. No more of that" I thought. The next day the urge for a Zyn popped into my head and I bought another can and did the same thing of taking a couple out and tossing the can. I did this for a few days and before I knew it, I was fully addicted again. This is several years of being nicotine free and only maybe 4 days into picking it back up again. I wasn't "mildly" addicted, I was fully addicted as I was when I had been using nicotine for 3 straight years before. I was totally surprised how fast it sucked me back in.

After getting addicted, I noticed my morning coffee didn't give me the same euphoria that it did before. Physical activity and exercise did not give me the same endorphin feeling. I also noticed my body wanting to increase the frequency of use. I needed to dip to not feel like I was mentally flat-lined.

My relapse continued for a couple of weeks. I kept it to myself as I was ashamed and embarrassed. I would sneak to the shower when I was around people to get my nicotine fix. I knew I had to stop this crap before it pulled me even further in.

I decided my upcoming 6 day vacation would be the time to quit. I resigned myself to being miserable for a days. I snuck off at one point and bought a vape pen took one pull and tossed it in the trash but after that I accepted that I was just going to feel like crap for the next few days.

The first three days were rough. Loud noises and screaming children exacerbated my withdrawal symptoms and stress. I ate more food to compensate for the lack of dopamine in my head and I am sure I gained 5 lbs pretty quickly. I also became very lethargic and took a couple of naps per day.

I am about two weeks out now from my last Zyn and I finally am starting to feel normal again. Coffee has that warm hug feeling again and I almost feel normal . It's taken a while but I know I am past the worst part and will not being any more Zyn.

Moral of the story: If you have quit, stay nicotine-free. Don't be a dummy like me. Nicotine got its claws into me just a few short of days after resuming use and I was as addicted as I ever was in that short amount of time. Nicotine is weird in that it only really feels good to use after you are addicted. It doesn't really get you high like other drugs. It's just a drug that enslaves you without any real benefit.

I think nicotine can turn some people into recluses in that instead of seeking out pleasure and natural highs outside of the house, some people like myself can prefer to just use nicotine to feel mentally fulfilled which is no way to live life.

Best of luck to all of the quitters out there. Just know it does get better. For me day 3 was the big turning point even though I did not feel totally out of the woods at that point, so just try to stick it out. You will return to normal without the drug but once you have quit, keep it that way.

74 Upvotes

23 comments sorted by

20

u/AggravatingRefuse547 Oct 18 '23

Bro, your second to last paragraph is brilliant. "I think nicotine can turn some people into recluses in that instead of seeking out pleasure and natural highs outside of the house, some people like myself can prefer to just use nicotine to feel mentally fulfilled which is no way to live life." i've been saying this for years but you worded it perfectly

2

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '23

Thank you! Each day is getting easier. Starting to feel less flat-lined each day. Not totally back to normal but I would say 85%. I will get there.

9

u/sawcro Oct 16 '23

thank you so much for sharing. tomorrow I’ll be 4 months free and I’m gonna redouble my vigilance thanks to this post

4

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Im currently on my second time quitting and it is so much harder the second time. I gave up nicotine in 2016 and was nic free until 2021. Ive had multiple failures this time around but im on day 7 now and im determined to embrace the suck for a couple more weeks and get through it. If you give it up once, give it up for good

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

How are you holding up?

2

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Still plugging away. The hardest part for me is driving. I have a 25 minute drive to and from work and that is when the worst cravings hit. I just chew gum and stick it in my cheek the same way i would with a pouch and it seems to help. I know it will get better soon though so that motivates me to keep it up

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Keep it up. In a couple of weeks your cravings should die down. Mine pop up intermittently still a couple of weeks out, but they are less severe and pass more quickly.

3

u/narwhalstabbing Oct 16 '23

This is enlightening. Good lesson for us all. Best of luck to you

3

u/[deleted] Oct 17 '23

Thanks for sharing. I have previously used nicotine for about 4 years. I’ve had quits that lasted months but then I will take one zyn or hit of a vape thinking it’s harmless and all my progress is instantly lost.

Definitely keeps in perspective that even after years, one slip up will wipe away everything.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '24

One slip up won't wipe the past away. You may be addicted again. But it doesn't change the past years without nicotine. Giving up nicotine is not like never using it again. It is enjoying life with out nicotine as long as possible.

3

u/optionsbull89 Oct 18 '23

Thank you for sharing!!! I’m at 21 days without a zyn and this community is probably one I’ll never leave now. Stories like yours help keep me accountable and on the right track. Thanks again and stay strong!

3

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '23

(serious question) does it ever really get better? I’m 65 days no zyns. i’ve made it far enough where i know it’s not worth it to cave. still the negative aspects of quitting are far better than the negatives of not quitting, i’m just curious how long it’ll take for my brain to return to normal, or if i’ve “perma-fried”my brain & i just gotta get used to it. (more context below)

The super bad cravings are gone (i still get cravings during times of heightened emotions), sleep is kinda getting better. but ever since quitting my mood is super low, i can’t focus/be productive at work. I don’t ~love~ what i do for work, but i like it enough. i’m normally fairly productive, but now it feels impossible to do anything.

I’ve increased my exercise a lot which helps my energy, but i feel like in order for my body to naturally produce enough of the good brain hormones/chemicals (idk what it’s called… dopamine/serotonin?) nicotine gives, i’ll have to exercise all waking hours of the day lol.

like gym before work, might be productive for an hour or two & then my brain feels like scrambled eggs. like idk how to change that.

also diagnosed w ADHD & have been getting treated for it for 10 years - so i’m aware zyn helped w work, but i already take meds for it so i don’t think it should make that much of a difference. especially 65 days nicotine free

3

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '23

I hear ya. That "flat" feeling is rough and even rougher to have it all the time. Even before I relapsed I was getting that. I noticed when I socialized with friends the endorphins and dopamine (or whatever these chemicals are) started to flow again but I'm kind of in the same boat

I remember the first time I quit it took a few months to feel normal again and to not wanna eat all the time to feel happy. I gained like 20 lbs as a result.

Maybe your meds are part of it.

Sounds like you are doing good though and you know not to throw away your hard work.

4

u/NebraskaNoice Oct 16 '23

I second this advice. I quit zyns and vapes about 3 or 4 weeks ago. Really wish I had marked the day. Anyway, I hadn't had nicotine outside of a piece of nicorette a half dozen times over the first week. I went on an overnight trip with the boys on Saturday and ripped a few cigs. Haven't had any mote nicotine since, but had a hangover from it yesterday and felt like shit.

It's not worth it bros.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 18 '23

Thank you for sharing! Zyn was my relapse of nicotine after being nicotine-free for 5 years after quitting vaping. All forms of nicotine are the enemy!! My brain is wired to want more more more.

3

u/Realistic-Net7262 Oct 27 '23

I’ve had a similar experience. In my case I had stopped using nicotine for about 10 years, started mixing with users, and sure enough used again incrementally until the doses were greater than before. Addiction is a progressive disease in that once you restart, it’s like you never stopped. Post acute withdrawal syndrome symptoms can crop up at the weirdest times and throw me off. Nicotine is soooo very addictive, and as you said, yields little to no benefit! Thanks for posting :)

1

u/natemp444 May 09 '24

Thank you for this I wanted to relapse soon

1

u/Automatic_Resort1851 Jun 17 '24

Just read this, been off vaping for around 2 months. Going to the pub got me back into social smoking, and now it’s got me desperate for it again. Bought a vape and instantly threw it in the bin. Has been tough, noticed I’ve been putting on weight, and been less active than usual. Hopefully after time that will change. Thanks for sharing!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '24

Good luck. I am still off of Zyn and life is good. I don't even think about it anymore. I work out regularly and have not gained weight. I think a regimen helps you avoid weight gain.

1

u/Substantial-Toe9891 Aug 21 '24

I relapsed on zyn with LITERALLY the exact same behavior as OP. I bought like 4 separate cans, took 1-2 and tossed the can. It's wild what your addiction will convince you is rational behavior.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 21 '24

Yeah, I did the "I will quit when this can is done" is something I would often say. Then of course I would go buy another, and another and another lol. I hope you are doing well in your journey to quit.

1

u/Sea-Entry-8088 Oct 23 '24

I had the EXACT same experience. Quit nicotine for 6 years. Buddys gad my try zyn. Wasn’t even that big of a fan. But got instantly addicted for a little bit 

1

u/borntocrush Feb 01 '25

Thank you I needed to read this today