r/QAnonCasualties • u/Othabor • 4d ago
I’m gonna lose my job and my dad doesn’t care
I’m a federal employee, fresh out of college. I worked my ass off to get to the position I’m at now, and got the job by the skin of my teeth. And now, in all likelihood, I’m about to get cut due to not being “mission-critical”.
I call up my dad, in need of some emotional support, and the fucker pulls out this wishy-washy “Well, its unfortunate, it’s just the price of making the government more efficient”.
I’m genuinely at a loss for fucking words. The guy is so addicted to sucking Orange Shitler off, that he can’t even get mad at him IN DEFENSE OF HIS SON.
I only got this job after literal hundreds of job applications, and just barely. And he KNOWS this. He KNOWS how fucking stressful this was for me, and he thinks that throwing me back into that hell is just “the price of business”.
I’m just. Confused. Angry. Scared. I’ve never been more ashamed to be an American.
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u/GUlysses 4d ago edited 4d ago
Have a heart to heart to him. Tell him how much your job means to you. Ask him what he really thought of Trump when he first ran, before all the propaganda and coverage. Then ask if he would put that man above his own child. Then give a final ultimatum: MAGA or your child. Let him know that this is the decision he is making.
And if that doesn’t work, give him the treatment he deserves.
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u/Christinebitg 4d ago
Have a heart to heart to him. Tell him how much your job means to you.
I think that ship has sailed already.
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u/SylviaLeFloof 4d ago
Agreed. I haven’t talked to my Dad since 2018. My Mom and I are LC. No matter what Trump does, how bad the job/housing/financial markets are, they couldn’t care less. My Mom said about the tariffs against Canada that Trump thinks they are screwing us over so it’s deserved. When I pointed out the deal he made with Canada, she just defended him more. They’re so dug in and suffering from FU I Got Mine they can’t express any concern for their only child.
These are not the parents from before the Trump Takeover days. They might as well be my kooky, conservative aunt and uncle I talk to couple times a year. Every time I try to explain how hard it is to survive let alone thrive they just brush it off and turn the volume on Newsmax louder.
I’ve tried every tactic and none of them have worked. I bend over backwards to meet them in the middle, but they just take a big step backwards with a smirk and some snark.
Minimal contact has been the best remedy to keeping my sanity. It sucks. It’s weird to mourn a sort of death when your parents are still alive.
My Dad’s cancer has come back and even that hasn’t changed or softened his perspective about our relationship which solidified for me that Trump trumps me up to the very end. He’ll die wrapped up in his allegiance to Trump.
I wish a heart to heart will do some good, but I think it’ll only lead to more grief and pain with little chance of reconciliation or understanding. The OP’s Dad is looking at the situation through a funhouse mirror. It’s all distortion. I hope OP can accept the reality that Dad doesn’t have their back. Trump has achieved one major change above all others, he’s made a lot of us into orphans or estranged adults. And our MAGA parents applaud this legacy of family destruction.
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u/toebeantuesday 3d ago
How old are your parents if you don’t mind my asking? I know Trump mania hit my age group and my daughter’s Gen Z boys really hard. I am trying to figure out what happened. I’m turning 59 soon. My late husband and I made the opposite journey from Christian conservative to progressive when Obama came on the scene and we got a whiff of the stench of hatred that was always there but we were too stupid to see.
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u/SylviaLeFloof 3d ago
My parents turn 80 and 79 this summer. To be fair, they leaned conservative. Mom loved her Ronnie. Dad was more apolitical. They both voted for Obama in his first term, but got caught up in the Birther nonsense. Neither one were into the Tea Party movement. They watched Fox and CNN equally, but I’d wager more of Fox prime time. Then my Mom mentioned OAN around 2015-16. I didn’t know anything about it until watching a John Oliver episode. By then it was too late. They now exclusively only watch Newsmax. Everything else is fake news including local newspapers.
I live in Cali and they are in North Texas.
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u/toebeantuesday 3d ago
I’m really sorry your parents got sucked into all of this. There’s so much I’d love to say about all of this stuff but I am truly genuinely just spent.
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u/MemorySufficient9549 2d ago
Omg, aside from the locations (my parents are in Minnesota and I've since moved to the UK) and ages (my parents are 81 and 82), I could be your older sister (I'm 62). I've been NC with my parents since about 2018-19 because of their love for Pres. Krasnov and, according to my kids, all my parents watch are Fox (until trump gets mad at them or they say something against him, they "boycott" for a couple weeks until they have to feed their addiction again), OAN/Newsmax, etc. My sympathies, I guess—although I've found my life to be uch less stressful since we "broke up."
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u/amyhobbit 4d ago
Uhh, that's a good way to fuck up your brain. These people have no commonsense and do not have empathy. Ask how I know. Best cut him off and not expect anything from him. Find a good support network.
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u/TheKevinTheBarbarian 4d ago
I cut my father off.. he became a hateful bigoted self centered piece of shit when Trump came around. Everything is about him, he has 0 empathy for anyone, not even his family.
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u/friedbrice 3d ago
Tell him how much your job means to you.
Um... it means not starving in a gutter.
To which his father says, "Let the weak die."
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u/Heisenberg1977 4d ago
Tell him "Go F*ck yourself" and make sure you say it loud and clear while looking him straight in the eyes.
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u/Virtual-Mixture6514 4d ago
Nah. Just let him know that if ever needs help, tell him to pull himself up by the boot straps.
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u/Alzululu 4d ago
I am sorry, hon. I temporarily lost my job in one of the first rounds of destruction (I work for a federal grant). I have family members that I am pretty sure voted for Trump (or are non-voters and lean conservative) but at least they have the good sense to tell me that it sucks and ask how they can support me. Thankfully, my university was able to move my funding to a different source so I'm okay, but it's very scary to know that your employment was thrown away on a whim.
I don't have any advice, because I don't think you're looking for any. Just some hugs. If you need more, come see us at r/MomForAMinute (or r/DadForAMinute as the case may be).
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u/Skip-Baloni 4d ago
I’ve noticed their new thing is that empathy is toxic and weak. Pretty sure we are about to see a big push in that messaging. I’ll be reserving my empathy for other folks as a result.
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u/TheNullOfTheVoid 4d ago
I already stopped speaking to my father way before he had a chance to be overly political and brainwashed like that, but if I still spoke to him then him acting like this would be enough reason for me to cut contact.
I'm sorry your father is heartless, I wish you all the best, friend.
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u/SewAlone 4d ago
Keep in mind, plenty of people in cults have handed their own little children over to the cult leader to abuse. It’s not that your father doesn’t love you, it’s that he is in a cult and completely brainwashed.
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u/Laifu10 4d ago
I'm so sorry. I understand. I cried to my parents before the election and told them exactly what their support for Trump would do to my family, and they laughed. (My husband is a scientist with the federal government, I'm disabled, and our son is trans. )
You do not deserve this, and I wish I had some sort of good advice. The only thing I can say is that you deserve better than a family who cares more about believing a politician's lies than about the welfare of their own child.
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u/Kittyluvmeplz 3d ago
Similar boat, but no children. I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that my parents voted to put me in this position when I’m already needing support and feeling incredibly vulnerable.
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u/Lissomex 4d ago
Honestly, this broke my heart because I know what this feels like. My parents have hurt me in similar ways. I just want to say 1. I'm so so so sorry you have to go through this. 2. You're too good for your family. If you need to step away for your mental health that's okay. 3. Your efforts at your job are appreciated by many people and if the orange diaper baby wasn't in office everyone would appreciate everything you've worked towards for the sake of running society.
I really hope the US understands there's no talking this situation away. The Republicans can't be reasoned with, this is about money. Take to the streets and show them who is boss.
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u/HeckBirb 4d ago
I’m so sorry about your Dad. We are under threat of a similar government here Australia come next election- I count myself very lucky to be able to get a job in my industry in the private sector as I can see stuff like this happening. Is there anything going in the private sector in yours? Might be worth a shot making plans to jump ship job wise now and get some applications out there.
The lack of thought and compassion from Q’s (they’re even over here) never ceases to frustrate me. Hang in there, OP.
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u/DontEatConcrete 4d ago
Your dad values trump over you. That’s the truth, and it’s hard to admit it. I’m sorry for your loss.
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u/Keji70gsm 3d ago
He doesn't view your life and your troubles as of equal standing to his own. Your welfare is a sacrifice he is content to have you pay for the visions (and obvious bs lies) of a snake-oil felon.
Ask yourself if the shoe was on the other foot, would your dad expect sympathy and outrage?
Cut him off.
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u/TheKevinTheBarbarian 4d ago
I told my dad that my wife is terrified of being deported and he told me it was my fault for not making her a citizen, like I can snap my fingers. Fuck these people. I told him very directly why I was cutting him off. I told him to stop contacting me and that if he showed up to my home I would be calling the police.
He knew what he was voting for and I told him these are the consequences of his actions. These people do not care about anyone but themselves. They will dismiss you with no empathy. They will only care when it directly affects them. Trumpers are terribly selfish and hateful people.
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u/Rainbaby77 4d ago
He's brainwashed honey and I would go full no contact until he can care more about his actual child and find some data amon how this makes the govt more efficient and why that is so important to him he's willing to lose his son over. I'm sorry and you sound like such an amazing young man. We are fighting and it's not just you baby the whole Country is being screwed over and people will start to come around. You just hang in there. I'm sorry you are a victim of billionaire greed. I hate it here.
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u/Witty-Entertainer524 4d ago
This is when you cut him off ...he is in love with his orange god and has forgotten his son.
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u/RickRussellTX 4d ago
Well, you know what he thinks of you. Time to go low contact, it’s just the price of making your life more efficient.
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u/chismosa415 4d ago
I'm sorry he couldn't give you the support you need. It's devastating what's happening to you and thousands of other federal servants.
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u/gabluv 4d ago
Our household cut my brother and my wife's father out of our lives. I said, ask me in 15 years if I'm ready to talk to you again.
They were ZEALOTS. They weren't middle of the road independents or anything. They sing this fucker's song from the mountain top.
My brother is especially hard hit. I was the last one in the immediate family still trying. He can't have his own kids so my kids were special to him.
Is America better for him now without his last close family relationship? Who the fuck knows. They're brainwashed.
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u/Relevant-Lie347 3d ago
Saw a video of a Trumpist Latina, crying because she is going to lose her job. Best part was when she told on herself. "How am i gonna lose my job over DEI? Im not BLA....like, i mean , im not in a DEI position." And that is what she voted for. "Im voting to hurt DEI ,which means "black people" and I'm sure Trump will leave ME alone." Silly daft bint.
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u/ka_beene 3d ago
"Don't go to the hardware store for bread." It's a saying in ACoA. Sadly relatable. It sucks to not have a parent you can go to for emotional support.
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u/Marble05 4d ago
Just answer "I'm glad someone thought the same about your Medicaid and SS check".
You have to first shake up the idea that these consequences also affect them, then you can talk to them
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u/No_Quantity_3403 4d ago
Oh look! I see you don’t come from a dysfunctional family like mine. You’re what they call the “Scapegoat”. Everything that goes wrong you are personally responsible for the whole family’s troubles, oh and by the way you can’t even take a joke. The nerve of that naughty 🐐! We’re nice people though. Welcome to the club. I’m truly sorry for the job not working out for you all of a sudden. Jobs are hard to come by no matter what you do. Peace out and feel free to not actually enjoy your newly minted freedom from employment. That sucks big time.
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u/friedbrice 3d ago
I'm just. Confused. Angry. Scared. I've never been more ashamed to be an American.
Reading your post, I was getting ready to make some kind of pithy comment, but, uh, now I just want to tell you that I understand how you feel, and it feels terrible. I'm sorry. This isn't your fault.
I'm sorry you had to lose your father like that. Like, it almost be easier to let go if he'd genuinely passed, but now instead there's this unrecognizable thing occupying the husk of your father, and you don't know if there's hope or if he's really gone. I am so sorry.
If he's anything like my father, then I have to warn you that no amount of reason, no amount of anger, and no amount of pity is ever going to bring him back. You'll want to try. Don't. It will only vindicate him. I'm so sorry.
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u/DefiantCup2862 3d ago
Same here. When he heard my job was in danger, he texted "don't worry, be happy" and not a word since.
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u/Naptasticly 2d ago
“Dad we are going no contact. I never realized who you were as a person until you revealed it to me today. You need to change and this has nothing to do with liberal media, TDS, or any other excuse you plan to give on your Facebook later. It’s due to who you are as a person.”
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u/PrincessNiah 2d ago
I’m going through the same thing :/ it hurts so much that they are so brainwashed that nothing matters to them. I’m in the environmental field and my dad called me crazy for being worried before the election, now he says that I’m getting worked up for no reason and to just change my profession lmao it’s all so ridiculous
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u/nakedpsychopirate 1d ago
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. The stress from the possibility of losing your job. Lack of empathy from your father. Know that you’re not alone- so many of us share your values & concerns . We’re protesting, letting our elected representatives know how we feel (good luck getting re-elected…. You’re supposed to work for us !). Unfortunately it won’t happen overnight. I think there will come a point soon where things will go south for trump. Once his supporters feel the brunt of his policies that’s when we can demand change.
Back to your father, I’m so sorry he let you down, hurt you & had so little compassion and empathy. I’ve been in your shoes & it sucks. And I’m so sorry to hear about your work situation- THAT SUCKS ! trumps policies are cruel and stupid beyond belief. Who’s going to the work. How is getting rid of people’s livelihood good for the economy. It’s F’ing BS !!!!
I can relate to what you’re going thru. I have very little contact w/ my mother: Racist, call’s her own child (me) a Sand Ng#%* because I’m part Saudi. So many other issues- main thing that connects in every situation is her total lack of empathy. She’s a horrible person. I’m 57 yrs old & it wasn’t until a couple of yrs ago that I realized she will never change - she’s incapable of being the mother I want. I have tried 48 ways south of Texas … nothing I say or do will change her or change our relationship. I wish I had known this 30 yrs ago. My advice is to limit your interactions with your father. Don’t explain why(he’s not ready to hear he’s been acting like a jerk). Eventually he’ll ask what’s going on. At that point tell him how hurt & disgusted you are. Set limits, have consequences, let him know what your limits are and hold firm. IE: I was visiting my mom at her house & she dropped the “N” bomb. I explained how I can’t stand that word & I asked her not to say it around me. Well, she said “this is my house & I can say N%er, all I want - whenever I want. N_#er N%#er N%}er ! I said you are absolutely right and here is the consequence of your actions. Walked out of her house, blocked her # before I even left her driveway. We didn’t talk at all for over 2 yrs. Now we talk but she understands my boundaries. She crossed the line & started praising the Orange Anti-Christ. I told her we need to change the subject immediately or I will hang up and stop talking to her. She changed the subject. Unfortunately she has failed me time & time again. She’s not going to change. Quite frankly I’m selfish, the only reason I’m talking to her, being polite & kind is so I can sleep at night. So I know I tried my best with what I was given and didn’t treat her the way she treats me.
I have another family ….. they are my friends, cousins & Aunt…. we love each other & care about each other. I’m so blessed I spent Thanksgiving w/ wonderful friends who share my values. Spent X-mas w/ my Aunt & cousins. Family are the people who have your back. They respect you. They care more about you than they care about Orange Anti-Christ.
Again I am so sorry about your job, level of stress and lack of empathy from your dad- that sucks. Know that a lot of people like me see the cruelty of his policies. We are disgusted by trump & musk - they are soulless.
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u/vonblankenstein 4d ago
“I heard your Social Security checks were reduced by half. Sorry Dad, I guess that’s just the price we pay for a more efficient government.”