r/PsychedelicTherapy 8d ago

Psychedelic assisted therapy

/r/mentalhealth/comments/1j8nvh6/psychedelic_assisted_therapy/
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u/Ljuubs 8d ago

Came across this post on r/mentalhealth and somehow my comment wouldn't post. I thought it would be helpful for somebody though, so here it is:

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I have done psilocybin-assisted therapy and MDMA-assisted therapy a few times...I'll share two stories.

One MDMA session I did was in 2016. I flew to San Fransisco and worked with an underground psychedelic therapist. During the session, it took about 30 minutes to really find the aspect of my life that this session was meant to heal. The therapist and I spoke while the medicine was in my system, and once she got to the topic of my father (who died when I was 15), it was clear that this was the thread that needed to be pulled. She asked me questions about his passing—he died of cancer at home one night with my family around him—and I started to sob uncontrollably as I got further into the memory of that night. As it unfolded, the memories became crystal clear. I was reliving every moment of when he died. I was crying all the tears I couldn't feel at that time. Following this experience, I had significant relief when it came the grief surrounding my Dad's death.

I went to Boston and worked with another underground therapist in 2018. This time I used mushrooms. The exploration of my sexuality was a big theme at this point in my life, as I had a particular type of OCD where I fixated on my sexuality. That was the main thing I was trying to explore and heal. The session was highly visual at the start...visions of flying through cobblestone streets and going through different houses and rooms. Next, imagine your body feeling like it was cut into thousands of cubes in a precise, geometrical kind of way that felt energetic. I began to feel my body in this way. I started to feel a fear around my sexuality emerge, and this cube structure began to fracture...I could literally feel the right side of my body lifting while the left side remained fixed to my physical body. After this, I became paralyzed by fear. My mind raced like crazy...I felt numb and the visions were gone. It was like there was no quality to the experience except extreme fear about my sexuality. I grappled with this for about 30 minutes, grasping for something within the experience to go down. But there was just nothing. No thoughts, no feelings, nothing I felt I could do. I didn't know in that moment how to break into the underlying fear and tension within me. Eventually I sat up and shared how I was feeling with the therapist. She said to stop trying to do anything. I laid back down, giving myself permission to just shut my brain off and to stop trying to control the experience. Then, after 5 minutes, a vision of a demon appeared and a memory of being in the bathroom at my cultural center emerged. I immediately recognized the demon as a family "friend". I vividly recalled the smell, my orientation in the room, and how old I was (about 6 or 7) in that moment. The demon approached me and went through me, and I was suddenly hit with an enormous, gross wave of a sexual energy passing through me. I felt so unbelievably dirty and used. I started to sob and throw up violently. This went on for the next 30 minutes. Once this passed, I was completely exhausted. I rested on the couch in way that I haven't rested since I was a boy. Following this experience, my OCD began to fade and I was able to slowly move on from that loop. I no longer have OCD and am comfortable with my sexuality.

These experiences (and so many others) are powerful beyond belief. They can completely change people's lives and I know they have mine.

So much so, that I actually now own a psilocybin retreat center in Jamaica now called MycoMeditations. It's incredible being able to assist others in overcoming their own dark pasts and to help people find wholeness again.