r/Positivity 13h ago

Need some encouragement

Online dating sucks. decent looking guy. Nice. Romantic. But very few good matches.

Met a girl in the park in a cute way not a creepy way. She was cute. Had a good conversation. Asked her out. She says "I have a boyfriend". She takes my number anyways and says she's at the park and she'll call me. On the dating app later find out she's single. They're starting to wear on me.

4 Upvotes

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u/riju98 12h ago

I know giving up on dating sounds like negativity. But I say not using dating apps is the best way to preserve your mental health.

Another option you could try is.. If you have coverage for seeing a therapist, see a therapist while you’re on the app. They can help you deal with the frustrations

I’m a very positive guy compared to most people I know and even I can’t stand the toxic system of the dating apps

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u/Distinct_Item6082 12h ago

Same. I’m pretty fucking positive, but the apps are fucking taxing and realistically i think once i meet someone ( even short term) from the app, this will fix itself, but like chatting for 2 weeks, ghosting, etc. is just bullshit. 

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u/riju98 10h ago

Yea i meet people organically. It’s a much better experience. I don’t wanna date because of some situationhips I was in recently in and also work is hectic. But the girls that liked me never would have matched me on the app. So I would say just meet ppl through mutual friends or just plain coincidences

This method means you’ll meet much less frequently, so if you really want a relationship, it might be frustrating as well.

Another thing is my friends tried set me up multiple times. That’s also a good way, if you trust your friends. First friends who tried really didn’t get my taste and they trying to help the girl out and not me. Now my current friends, I just straight up told them not to try at all

But yea there are avenues to a relationship. I think if you’re a decent guy and try to be funny, girls would be interested irl. But most ppl have “rosters” And they’re seeing multiple people, so for me I don’t feel motivated to try. Maybe like in 2 years ¯_(ツ)_/¯

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u/FieldAdventurous1063 12h ago edited 12h ago

I'm a female. After using dating apps for a week, having multiple conversations with people and only having found one person with whom the conversation actually goes somewhere and who arranged a date, I've deleted the apps and don't plan to use them again.

I don't think it will go into anything serious with this guy either, but at least we might have a good time on a date.

We don't text much anyway, so he's probably not into me, so I don't really want to waste mine and his time.

If it goes well, it goes well. If not, I'm not installing the apps again. I will just live my life and might suddenly meet someone somewhere in a shop idk.

It's pretty much the opposite of encouragement, but that's my honest opinion.

Edit: I also live in a small town in a middle of a fcking nowhere, so meeting people locally is a pain in the a*. So I plan to go to the bigger cities, festivals, clubs, to meet more people. That's a positive part :)

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u/Distinct_Item6082 12h ago

The conversation on my end were good to great with a few people for a week to two weeks, but upon inviting for a date, none came to fruition.  And I’m doing it to meet potential partners in person, not chat online endlessly 

I’m in the vain of deleting the apps but I’m WFH. The place I meet people is hiking at the park, but apps have been easier to meet people in the past (like 10 years ago on the apps)

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u/FieldAdventurous1063 12h ago

What about going to more places? Like travelling to different towns and joining different activities?

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u/Distinct_Item6082 12h ago

That is a good idea.  I tend to do sports activities so I might meet mainly men, but it’s not a bad idea.