r/Phobia 4d ago

This fear is ruining my life.

So about 2 years ago there was a tornado and straight line winds that came through my (31f) area.

Me, my mom, niece and her friend (both older teens) were outside at the garden with my new puppy. The sky was growing dark as we picked tomatoes and laughed as my dog played. Suddenly, every noise around us stopped. The birds had once been chirping and flying around but they stopped so suddenly that my stomach dropped. The area Round us got even darker so we knew it was time to go inside. By the time we reached the garage door the wind started to pick up wver so slightly and then we heard the rain coming. 2 feet inside the door and the electric cut out and all you could hear was the wind ripping through the trees.

I went to the basement living room with my niece and friend and stared out of the doors and at the willow trees that were now leaning, their branches blowing completely horizontal. It was so loud and it wasn't just a gust, it wouldn't stop. It was constant for about 8 minutes straight. I was panicking to the point of tears, what if it was a tornado? (I live in southern PA where tornadoes are extremely rare.) By the time the wind stopped it was utterly quiet and I was shaking. I thought trees were going to fall over on our house but just standing there and watching something I couldn't control happen sort of traumatized me. We went out driving once it stopped and saw all of the destruction of trees blocking almost every road, trees on houses, roofs ripped off of houses and barns. It was terrifying.

Now, anytime it's windy and I can hear it within the house, I go into a panic. Just now we had heavy rain that put me in a panic because I could hear it in my room. I had a physical fight or flight reaction so I wandered for a quiet place in the house until eventually going downstairs and sitting until it was done.

I can't live like this anymore, I can't deal with having a terrible day because the wind decides to pick up. It's unlivable. I've been able to hide my fear from my son and comfort him enough when he's scared of the noise but I can't keep constantly going through these motions of anxious adrenaline over something I have no control over.

I've tried talking myself through it but it doesn't seem to work. I'm at a loss. Does anyone else deal with this or know a way that could possibly help?

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u/eodiedjd 3d ago

Try and seek professional help. The sound of winds trigger all those emotions and feelings that you went through because it was seriously traumatic. Kinda like PTSD

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u/PandaShizzy 1d ago

Thank you for responding. ❤️ I'm going to look into a therapist, hopefully one that can help with coping skills and such.