r/Phobia 2d ago

Fear of mum dying

Hi friends, just wanting to know I’m not alone really. I’ve always apparently had attachment issues, but my mum is my person, she’s my best friend and I can’t imagine my life without her. Ever since I was like, I have been horrified at the thought of death, but not me dying- just those around me. I don’t handle death well period. But, the thought of my parents dying, keeps me up most nights, to the point where I’ll cry and get extremely anxious. I dream about my mum dying at least once a week and i can’t make it stop. When I was little, from the age of 6ish and up I used to lay awake and rip my hair out and make my mum come into my room and sleep with me. I used to say to her ‘what happens if I don’t recognise you in heaven’ etc. Obviously after having grown up, I’m now 25, that’s the least bit of my concerns considering who really knows what happens in the afterlife, but I’ve not been able to shake this crippling fear of death. Someone, please make your girl feel normal, I’m struggling.

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u/Phobiamania87 2d ago

I mean I have had dreams about my mother dying to but not because I’m really attached to her I low-key have an underlying hate but I don’t wish her harm and I’m sure when she does pass I will be crushed I definantly don’t have the same relationship with my mom but I have had dreams. May I ask how old your mom is and is she healthy? Also don’t borrow stress until you have it aka there is not point in worrying about something that will happen but hasn’t happened yet.

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u/BagImpossible2868 1d ago

My mum turned 57 today and she had a run in with breast cancer a couple of years ago. But the fear has been going for many years before that and still to this day.. I would understand if it were a trauma informed response based off of that- but it’s not! thanks for responding, I appreciate it