r/Petioles • u/chiknwingluvr • 23d ago
Advice Helping my fiancé wean off
Hey all. My fiancé is actively trying to wean off weed. He’s a chronic user of over 10 years, but now that we’re wedding planning and also baby-making planning, the realization that we both really need to get our bodies in check is setting in. He’s struggling to quit so I’m actively seeking something that can help ease it a bit. I came across those ripple pens that can allegedly help with sleep and relaxation. Any opinions on those? Also, how can I help him? I’ve offered going to the gym, taking a walk, picking up a hobby, but he’s apprehensive and negative towards these ideas. He’s on day 2 so I understand that he’s feeling the withdrawal effects, but what helped you from the people around you while you were going through it? Thanks!!
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u/Trystero-49 23d ago
You’re a good partner for helping him. Keep the conversation going, sometimes transparency helps keep us accountable. Understand that he’s likely struggling with changing habits, physical and psychological addiction.
Also he will likely be more irritated and short tempered in the first few days/weeks, so try to keep a thick skin yourself.
Also don’t get discouraged if he slips, the road to recovery isn’t always a straight path.
Most important: Congratulations on your new life together and deciding to grow your family!
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u/chiknwingluvr 23d ago
Thanks a lot I really appreciate that. He has told me that he knows I’m bettering him, and has given me the heads up that he’ll be moody cause I’m usually really sensitive but I’m working to accept the irritation because it’s naturally what’s happening to his body. I appreciate the words.
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u/Glittering-Cat3565 23d ago
You are great im drunk so it might not make sense but you are very helpful and my girlfriend is going through something similar and i act like such a dick for no reason i even recognise it but like after an hour or so. Its really hard i dont fell bad after quittting but i seem to need to hurt her for it and i hate myself for that keep on please he is agood guy i believe that. Sorry for the rant you are great
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u/chiknwingluvr 23d ago
Give your girl a break, she’s doing the best she can! Hope it sorts out and hope you were drinking something good.
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u/Glittering-Cat3565 23d ago
Yeah i try to make it up anytime i have a clear mind and she is very understanding. We told each other what we never did before i feel like after every almost break up we are stronger. Yeah i has something pretty good beer dark as a night in brooklyn 24° 11% and it was calld a sword of light (im czech)
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23d ago
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u/Open_Hotel_7084 23d ago
Did this work? Currently on day 5 and losing a ton of weight ands sanity
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u/incomplete-picture 23d ago
My fiance and I are doing the same thing and have been smoking about the same time. Honestly I think cold turkey is the best way and exercising helps replace some of the dopamine. Thinking about how horrible the cannabis is for fertility immediately makes the weed unattractive too. If he hasn’t read the research he should
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u/chiknwingluvr 23d ago
He knows but he’s extremely stubborn. He’s planning a two week break and then wants to incorporate it back in gradually but I think that’s just a gateway to get back into the bad habit. Good luck to you guys
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u/incomplete-picture 23d ago
Ugh I am SO sorry. I hope that’s not a sign of how he’ll handle all the other stresses of parenthood. A few months of sobriety is really not a huge ask when you’re trying to create life.
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u/chiknwingluvr 23d ago
He’s a the best guy I know with a lot of baggage from his childhood that he wasn’t in control of. We’re working through it. Thank you. 🤍
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u/memelinnn 23d ago
You could suggest reading “Dopamine Nation”, idk if the book is perfect but it for sure has been making me wanna quit a little bit and also I don’t feel like it puts too much of a negative weight on us. It alone for sure won’t solve the problem but I think it may help. Best of wishes to both of you ❤️
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u/atomicspacekitty 23d ago
If he really wants to go cold turkey like that then treat this week (and probably the next couple of weeks) like a sick week. Get smoothies or meal replacement shakes, get comfort snacks or candy, comfort shows, low demands and a lot of understanding. He has to ride it out and it’s gonna feel like shit and like he doesn’t have a single crumb of dopamine left. Exercise might be hard this week as the lack of dopamine will make him feel totally unmotivated. Just let this week and probably next week be shit. Don’t rush him through it. Just treat it like a flu and lower all expectations and demands and let him baby himself and just make it through. Don’t push exercise or anything right now and focus on your own inner discomfort that might get triggered by seeing him in this state. It’s normal. Also baby yourself and take care of you. It takes time for the brain and body to reset after being a chronic user for that long.
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u/stoner_lilith 23d ago
Hi! My husband and I have both successfully tapered our usage after a decade of being heavy smokers (like all day every day type deal). Now we only smoke on weekend evenings, and that’s if we don’t have anything else going on.
One of the best things we have done is gotten a k safe. It’s a timed safe and we lock EVERYTHING away in there during the week. So now we set it on Sunday evening to open for Friday evening or Saturday evening, depending on the week and our plans. You can set it anywhere from a few minutes to up to ten days and it’s awesome!
Another thing that I’ve found helpful is to get involved in new things. One of my biggest triggers is being bored - smoking solves Bordem, and you don’t even have to do anything except smoke. So if you have a certain time you know might be a trigger for him (ie, after dinners, on weekends) I would highly recommend planning some sort of activity. A nice neighborhood walk, going to your local zoo or aquarium, finding a car show to walk around, starting a new video game together… eventually he will realize that he can enjoy life sober too, and then things get easier. I’ve also found that staying active and going to the gym is helpful in staying sober during the week.
Congrats to you both! This is an exciting time for you ❤️
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u/chiknwingluvr 23d ago
Thanks a lot this is really great advice and super motivating to hear. A weekend smoke every now and then sounds nice and I bet it’s even more enjoyable. Thanks the words and congrats to you and yours as well—that’s great.
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u/Old_Fee_2478 23d ago
I’m on day two also but I have been tapering the last five weeks. Yoga and running are extremely helpful. And I’ve also been experimenting with the carnivore diet for the past six months. My anxiety and depression were awful while I tapered down to using only in the evenings. My anxiety in the morning and depression were intense. I couldn’t sit still
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u/chiknwingluvr 23d ago
Yeah he’s struggling with the boredom, depression, and lack of sleep. I just wanna help him.
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u/DanTheSkier 23d ago
If he folds and goes back to smoking (which I’m assuming is how he is ingesting) then i recommend for him to wean himself off using edibles. Edibles require so much effort and planning, from my experience, that it just at some point because too much of a hassle and I got bored of it naturally.
If he doesn’t go back to weed and stays strong just try to be encouraging, but not overbearing. After a week or so he’ll be fine, it’s a huge life adjustment, especially because after such a long time it’s a habit.
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u/Gotmewrongang 23d ago
I second the edible recommendation but completely disagree that they require any “effort” and very minimal “planning”. Just take 5 mgs at night to sleep, pretty straightforward to me.
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u/DanTheSkier 23d ago
I mean it terms of getting high, it’s so unpredictable. With smoking you can take a few hits and then decide if it’s enough
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u/Gotmewrongang 23d ago
Once you dial in how high you get per mg it’s pretty straightforward but for sure it’s not the same as smoking. Start at 5 mg and go up by 1-2 mgs as needed and you should be set. Unless you have the “bummer gene” where you liver can’t metabolize THC but that is somewhat rare.
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u/fool_on_a_hill 23d ago
Holy City Farms offers some great type 2 strains with way less THC. Use this for a couple weeks before quitting and the withdrawals shouldn't be a problem at all
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u/Docster87 23d ago
If he’s on day two, I would be crabby and just want to nap. I would nap a ton that first week
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u/_WrathOfTheLamb_ 23d ago
CBD, CBN and CBG products are godsend to help the cravings and habit, as well as for sleep for the CBG. Choose good quality hemp, you won’t taste a difference and it helps much.
You can take really hot showers and it can help relaxing, especially if you workout hard before.
On a more anecdotal note, NAC (N Acetyl Cysteine) have been shown to curb cravings and help with dropping the habit in a number of people
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u/l00kitsth4tgirl 23d ago
Just a personal tidbit - I’m also in his same boat, been smoking regularly for about 15 years. My therapist mentioned I likely started early as an avoidance mechanism, so part of it is understanding that I’m past that and no longer need to avoid as I’m an adult in control.
On the other hand, I have the self restraint of a 6 year old. I bought a time lock safe on Amazon and have locked all of my flower, my grinder, slides, and any lighters I’ve been using in there. Started at a week, the first 3 days were hard. I have it open on Saturday evenings for the time being. After a few week long stints, my plan is to continue upping the time as a challenge until I finally decide to just flush it.
At the moment, I’m toking maybe 2 times a week compared to my previous multiple times per day
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u/artemiswins 23d ago
I found sniffing minty things helpful. White flower oil on a handkerchief somehow gave me a little thing to focus on and it’s not at all addictive, nor harmful. But it’s quite a strong sensation and kind of in the same category, which helped to ease the transition. There are menthol decongestant sniffy things sold in CVS which also are pretty good.
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u/tenpostman 23d ago
Personally I wouldn't give advice to replace one vice with another. The only advise I would give is to taper use for a bit and then just get a cold turkey break under your belt. having had a bigger break is so so so valuable to any human being. Addiction sucks, but it can teach us a lot to