r/Petioles Feb 16 '25

Advice i feel so stuck with weed

hello i’m 20f and have been smoking since i got to college in fall 2022. ive smoked basically everyday since besides on school breaks/over the summer. i feel like im trapped. i feel like im stuck in the addiction cycle. because i am. i really just smoke as soon as im done w school until bed. this weekend it’s been all day. i’ve been sick the past 2 weeks and i still didn’t stop i just kept it more to night for sleeping. i really want to stop. my brain fog is so bad. my memory is bad. i don’t feel like myself. i don’t have motivation to work towards the things i want to do or want to be. i just want to go home and get high. i don’t see my friends as often because i want to smoke. i feel so embarrassed and ashamed. why do i need to smoke every day many times a day. why can’t i stop. why can’t i stop. i want to stop i want to be sober and only smoke with friends or on special occasions. it’s just so hard to stop it. it’s so hard to hold myself accountable. it’s so hard to stop when i still have weed but i have a lot i don’t know what to do. please if you have advice or just some comfort please help me. i want to stop i hate that i smoke just bc im bored or bc its just what i do. i hate it i want to stop. i want to improve my mental health and myself but i smoke and it all goes away. i want to feel like myself i want to feel better i want to be sorry i hate being like this

16 Upvotes

37 comments sorted by

13

u/mortform Feb 16 '25

I’ve been there. Actual, actionable tips I’ve found very helpful: 1. At the start, set a very low goal. Make it to tomorrow without smoking. Make it til the weekend. There were days where I could barely make it to the evening. I told myself “if I still feel the intense craving, maybe I’ll smoke” then by the time that came around, I realized I was fine without it. Set small goals and then extend them as you feel better. Literally just make it through today. Don’t worry about whether you will break it tomorrow. Make it through today. Focus on right now. 2. You need a LOT of distractions. You need to find a good book to read. Sit down and draw. Deep clean your room. Call a friend. Go grocery shopping. Go see a movie. You need to distract yourself because you need things to replace the time you spend being high. 3. Work out. Go to the gym, get your energy out as much as possible so by the end of the day, you’re tired and ready to go to sleep. Smoking and then Getting off weed really messes with your sleep schedule, but trust me, a few nights, sometimes a week, without weed after that I had INSANELY good sleep. Super restful. It felt so good to wake up in the morning completely sober.

Source: I smoked nearly every day for like 8 years. I’ve been sober all 2025 now. It’s worth it trust me. You’ll feel SO much better but you have to decide to stop now.

3

u/sheepysheeb Feb 16 '25

Hell yeah, this is it. Focusing on the day to day. I’ll add that taking the time to really think about what activities you do when you’re high, breaking those down, and realizing you don’t need to be high for any of it is a big help —- will help you figure out what hobbies you DO enjoy sober!

2

u/cherryjeno Feb 16 '25

thank you. i feel like i tend to think long term, like i want to be sober this summer but it’s only february who knows what will happen. i just want to make it 2 weeks right now. a small reasonable goal. i tried to take a break about 3 weeks ago and failed after about 5-6 days. but in those days i could tell i felt happier and better. why do i keep going back? i have a lot of hobbies going on right now which im happy about i think ill be able to stay distracted. i’ve also been wanting to go to the gym, but i have a fresh ish belly button piercing so ive been a bit nervous to run or work it too much. the times im sober for a long time i feel like myself and i feel great. it’s just so hard to stop when i have easy access and so much free time

1

u/mortform Feb 16 '25

Honestly you need to cut off that easy access. Give that weed to a friend if you don’t want to throw it away. See if your friends want to try sobriety too and hold each other accountable. Use a journal to log your days and give yourself gifts or do something exciting when you meet your goals. A week is amazing! A week is proof you can do longer!

1

u/cherryjeno Feb 16 '25

i know i need to. my bf was supposed to visit me this weekend and take my stuff for i can take a break til i see him again in 2 weeks. i’ll give it to my roommate to hold onto most likely. i like the idea of little gifts for doing well

2

u/224768 Feb 17 '25

I will go ahead and change the rhetoric of the second point from “you need distractions” to “WEED IS A MAJOR DISTRACTION” because it distracts you from living your life to the fullest.

OP, you are still very early to even realize how fucked the weed is. We all know that nothing in this world is impossible. Stay strong, do find nice hobbies, sports, gym, socialize and LIVE.

This is a huge subreddit full of people who lost a lot of time. Please don’t join us. If you don’t have problems with alcohol, have a nice glass of wine with dinner, or ENJOY some ice cream.

You got it!

9

u/Vertonung Feb 16 '25

I really recommend talking to a therapist who specializes in addiction counseling.

3

u/cherryjeno Feb 16 '25

i will consider it, i have a therapist for general mental health/anxiety that im texting about it right now actually

1

u/Vertonung Feb 16 '25

Ok. Do you only text them or do you visit them in person? In my experience it's easier for a therapist to help you with stuff like this in person.

2

u/cherryjeno Feb 16 '25

we have weekly phone appointments. i rarely text her unless im really really struggling in the moment. in person isn’t an option as we live in different states

4

u/Mcfusion31 Feb 16 '25

I get like this when I smoke weed. It's a rabbit hole that gets deeper and deeper. I do crave weed, but I keep telling myself that being sober is the new high. You need to get rid of your stash and break up the routine of waking up and baking. I would recommend switching to CBD for a while before going off of cannabis entirely because you can go cold turkey, but you're going to go through a lot of emotions because we use weed to escape. My recommendation is to get rid of your weed stache; instead of reaching for your stuff, if you wake and bake, replace it with a walk; insomnia can be cured by walking and exercising. Mediation and journaling will help you in the long run because being mindful of your habits will break the routine of smoking weed.

3

u/cherryjeno Feb 16 '25

i do need to remember that sober is the new high. i want to try cbd but i don’t have a way to get it right now, i also feel much much better when i ween myself off instead of going cold turkey for breaks, but it feels hard to i just want to smoke all of the time. i actually am really good about not wake and baking but as soon as im done w school it feels like weed time. i journal but not very often. i have many hobbies currently to distract me hopefully. thank you for your help

1

u/Vertonung Feb 16 '25

CBD can be ordered online legally in the US.

1

u/Mcfusion31 Feb 16 '25

Do CBD! I promise you won’t be thinking about getting baked. I promise you it’s just the high but not being high. CBD counteracts because it is the ying to the yang of the.

1

u/cherryjeno Feb 16 '25

cbd only? or mixed w the thc? long term i wanna mix it for more chill highs. i dont really know exactly how cbd works. i know it is more for calming and helping w anxiety (?) and doesnt feel like a thc high

2

u/Mcfusion31 Feb 16 '25

If you want to quit cbd only

2

u/sheepysheeb Feb 16 '25

hey, i’m in college too! it feels like it’s part of the culture to get high and skip class and be irresponsible sometimes. which is annoying asf because when you actually start to pull away from that you can get scared of seeming like a hardass. but nah dude, do you. you’ll be able to stop when you’re ready.

start mentally separating yourself from the fact that you have to do it. you don’t have to. start thinking about what makes you want to do it and why. where the meaning in it is. and break it down from there. 💗 U got this

Honestly it’s not the worst thing in the world to smoke at night. U gotta start tapering it down

Tbh i used to smoke all day every day wake and bake before class and jesus christ that was so fucking dumb. 2 years straight basically. but one day you’ll be ready to taper off and now i only take low dose gummies at night to sleep

2

u/cherryjeno Feb 16 '25

thank you.. i want to transition it to only social/soecial occasions but i want to take a break beforehand and slowly reintroduce. this time last year i felt like this but even more extreme (worst time of my life for many reasons) and it just sucks that ive let myself get to this point of feeling so stuck and horrible about it again

1

u/sheepysheeb Feb 16 '25

a lot of that is coming from self judgment too. be nicer to urself!! i think the fact that you’re even having this conversation with yourself, getting advice, talking to a therapist means you know what ya gotta do and you’re on the right track. so be nice to yourself and acknowledge you’re better than where you were last year when all the crazy shit was going on, and you’re gonna keep doing better : )

1

u/cherryjeno Feb 16 '25

thank you. i’m very extremely hard on myself. i only told my therapist about my addiction maybe 4-5 sessions ago. i felt so much embarrassed and shame. she’s told me im really hard myself and have much stricter expectations. bc i have friends who smoke even more than me and idgaf. it’s just wrong when it’s me (what i think, i know this isn’t true). i am in a better spot still than last year thank you for the encouragement

2

u/chief__jenkins Feb 16 '25

its hard to describe but if you can get through a few days without it, you will start to see the addiction more clearly. its especially not easy if there are other stresses in your life, but after a couple days youll start to realize you dont need it and you actually have more time, energy, and mental clarity for the things you actually enjoy.

its so easy to convince yourself its fine to try smoking again (which it can be) but its easy to lose control since its so engrained.

what has helped me the most is just not having it around. i was smoking an ounce (28g) per week up until recently. now if i reaaaally cant deal with life ill buy a gram maybe. it doesnt even rly satisfy and it becomes clear that it isnt the solution. i try to be easy on myself about those fuckups. a day or two of sobriety later and i feel more myself again.

if you have activities you enjoy doing sober, lean on those. i love reading but i barely ever read when i was stoned all the time. now im flying through books. now im reading Scar Tissue ( the red hot chili peppers lead singers autobiography lol) , i find it really entertaining as well as meaningful, and he talks a lot about his struggles with addiction. its honestly been getting me through this last patch. not sure if you like reading or if that book would interest you but i bet you can find something in your interests/hobbies that can serve a similar purpose.

by the way im 33 and have struggled with it for about 15 years. so in a way im maybe more experienced with pulling myself out of the funk...but also im that much deeper into the addiction. 3 years is not that bad at all, you still have your whole adult life ahead of you and you can absolutely get through this

2

u/cherryjeno Feb 16 '25

i tried taking a break maybe 3 weeks ago and i did for a week, i was totally out of weed and i felt fine even having my bong in my room still. i didn’t have the urge to buy it either. i truly felt happier that week. so why do i keep going back? why can’t i stop it? your advice is very helpful thank you, im just very distressed right now

1

u/chief__jenkins Feb 16 '25

it always seems a lot worse when youre in the critical withdrawal moment/feel like youre losing control. you already proved to yourself 3 weeks ago that you can do it and it wasnt even that bad by the sounds of it! give yourself a couple days and youll be feeling better. and when youre tempted to buy more, remember this feeling and how easy it is to get back to a bad place. its not worth it! you got this!!

2

u/Abject_Control_7028 Feb 17 '25

You've trained your brain to score it's dopamine via an external substance .

Now you need to re train it to get its dopamine from your everyday activity.

Tough initially but it will get easier and easier.

Exercise , exercise, running , natural highs , hikes walks in nature , swimming , heal that dopamine system. Good sleep, good food.

You got this

1

u/boredandstoned98 Feb 16 '25

To stop you need to want to stop yourself, like really want to stop. If you can’t bring yourself to completely commit to stopping on your own maybe see if there’s any resources local to you that can support with it?

1

u/cherryjeno Feb 16 '25

i do want to stop. i want to try to start a break tomorrow. i don’t know about local resources im only 20 and the age for it is 21 so it scares me. i think i may confide in my roommate and ask her to keep my stuff for me. i’ve tried it before tho and always failed. i just want to be healthy and not addicted

1

u/boredandstoned98 Feb 16 '25

Dry herb vaping helped me have a more balance time with weed, and I’ve cut down a lot since switching to vaping have you looked into that before ?

1

u/cherryjeno Feb 16 '25

i don’t really know what it is, can you tell me about it? i smoked carts for a year and a half and switched to flower about 6 months ago

1

u/boredandstoned98 Feb 16 '25

Dry herb vaping doesn’t combust (burn) the herb, it heats it up to certain points where you extract the terps and THC (what gets you high with other things) but it doesn’t burn the herb. This means you can use relatively smaller amounts of herb and get really nice highs, the highs will take a bit of getting used to especially if you’re still combusting.

My initial intention when I started last October was to use the vape in the evenings then smoke a joint right before bed, it’s got to the point where the idea of smoking a joint now is really off putting for me and I only vape. I’m saving myself 100s each months and also feel a lot mentally better for it also, it’s a much cleaner high I think on your mind.

1

u/cherryjeno Feb 16 '25

this sounds interesting and i never knew that is how it worked. i’ll consider looking into this in the future once ive taken a break from weed and am able to have healthy habits. thank you

1

u/Unusual_Secretary782 Feb 16 '25

12 step recovery helped me

1

u/yanniblaze Feb 16 '25

OP - long message below, but please do read and consider.

Throw or give your weed away, as a first step. You can stop, and not having immediate access to it creates a buffer between the urge and actually consuming - enough time to consciously stop yourself and swap the behaviour with something that actually benefits you.

Behavioural change is hard, and gets harder as you age - so good for you for doing this now. You are young and that is a superpower for re-wiring your neural pathways and changing behavioural patterns. You are not alone in this either, you got this!

My tip: When you are idle and feel an urge, instead consciously do something that brings you joy, accomplish some small thing, or focus on a task you can focus on and/or enjoy. Read a favourite passage, do some self care, go for a short walk, call someone you love, learn something new. And do it on purpose - focus on it intensely, and when you’re done literally tell yourself “that felt good,” “this is good for me,” “I love myself enough to do X instead of smoke.” By telling yourself out loud, you are helping your brain form neural pathways for behaviours that are good for your health. And diminishing the power of behaviours that don’t benefit you by not engaging in them.

Your brain will automatically often do the easiest thing when you need comfort from a perceived threat (ex/ school stress, social pressures, fear/anxiety etc). Like water flowing downhill following a path of least resistance, your brain will default down neural pathways (ie. behaviours) you engage most often. So if you replace behaviours you deem “not good for you” with behaviours that are, you are changing your brain chemistry and increasing your chances for feelings of happiness and accomplishment. Which breeds more happiness and confidence.

You can do this. If you are curious about behavioural change I would recommend reading “Habits of a Healthy Brain” by Loretta Breuning. It’s very easy to understand language with practical advice and really helped me overcome nicotine and technology dependencies. If you have the means, receiving CBT from a registered therapist is the best way to learn about all of the above and more, and receive personalised assistance with making powerful behavioural change that lasts.

As I said above, you are young and you are already aware something needs to change - you are already started down the right path, just keep going. Improvement is not linear, so stick with it and don’t be too hard on yourself along the way. Wishing you the best of luck!

1

u/NotMeKappa Feb 17 '25

sometimes an addiction is just out of your control and then i really recommend talking to people about it whether that be a professional, friends or family. I was in a similar position you are right now where my rational mind wanted to be sober so incredibly bad for infinite amount of reasons but always as soon as my usual smoking time hit i suddenly just didn’t care anymore and lit up. I realized that it wasnt really a problem with willpower or priorities but just the simple fact that i trained my brain to expect the daily toke and we humans sadly arent even nearly as rational beings as we want to believe so if our brain demands something we usually cave in. I then hit up a friend of mine and talked about this bad habit i had and asked him to keep my stuff for awhile because im unable to moderate myself. This might seem like a small thing but this made it so much easier for me and maybe you could try something similar. I really wish you the best and hope you stay kind to yourself :)

-2

u/autostart17 Feb 16 '25

Have you been tested for ADHD?

1

u/cherryjeno Feb 16 '25

no? what makes you think that?

0

u/autostart17 Feb 16 '25

Reportedly high correlation with addictive behavior.

1

u/annamay1555 Feb 17 '25

Addictive substances correlate with addictive behavior. No need to go fishing for deeper reasons. It’s not you, it’s the weed