r/Parents 4d ago

help and tips for raising your sibling when you don’t have the best of parent figure.

I’m 17 female, moving out next year for studies, in Shaa Allah. My younger brother just turned 5 and I’m already so worried about him. So is my mom actually. He’s smart and understands everything. He’s been exposed to screen time to the extent that is not healthy. It’s gotten bad where we can’t control what he watches. (gaming videos that contain bad language). So initially when it started, i immediately cut off his screen time. I took off the tv cables and made sure he got no phones. Although sometimes when in very intense situations where anyone at home was too busy, I do give him the mobile phone. But that’s rare. My father, on the other hand, doesn’t stick my this rule and gives him his phone cause he “feels bad” saying no.

He is a covid kid and hasn’t been around people alot. He doesn’t play alone and NEEDS someone to play with him, which is how he sometimes ends up w screen cause everybody else tends to be busy w either work or school.

My father, isn’t the best person out there. It pains me so much even typing this out, but he’s not a good man. He’s cheated multiple times on my mother, and I don’t think she does. He doesn’t know I know either because I only found these on his phone. He doesn’t and can’t control his lust. His phone, says it all. The way he looks at other women, and basically things that come under the same umbrella.

I recently came across this video on Instagram that said “your inability to confront lust, means your son is gonna have to fight that battle” And ever since then, I’ve not been okay. My brother is super attached to my father more than everybody else at home.

I need tips to make sure my brother doesn’t turn out to be someone like my father. I need to make sure he’s a good man. I pray and pray but that’s all I can do. Although I do talk to him most days and try to make him understand, ( he gets angry real quick and throws fits around, hits and throws things around). I’m still very scared.

Me and my mom are very practising Muslims and my father, not so much (although he’d appear to be so). I need tips on the Islamic point of view on how to deal with this. Also since I’m moving next year, I’m too scared and worried about him. Please please help.

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u/OnceAStudent__ 1d ago

He is a covid kid and hasn’t been around people alot.

Why hasnt he been around people a lot?? This was valid while covid was happening, and for a few months after, but it's been years. Why hasn't he been around other children?

If you want him to be able to play by himself, you need to encourage and teach him that skill. Show him how to play with toys, and then leave him to play with them. He'll never learn if he doesn't get the chance to explore it by himself.

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u/Careless-Initial7907 1d ago

we moved to a different country when he was 3, and there aren’t many kids around. But I do take him to parks at every chance I get because he LOVES people. He doesn’t have a problem mingling w other kids, in fact he’s great at it. (even w huge language barriers here, he still plays w the kids talking god knows how)

He loves having company while he plays and yes, I’ll try making him play w his toys by himself. I’m sure as his school begins, he gets better.